"Wow Mistah J it's..., just dam."

"I know I'm gifted with this blessing."

"It sooo big sweetie."

"Oh stop it pumpkin, you're making me blush." The two were in the basement of his penthouse staring at his wine cellar. "Yeah I've been collecting over the years and I think some fermented grape juice will be appropriate for our first dinner." He never really had company over much if any at all. A time and again he thought to contact the bat to come over and catch up for old times sake but then again he couldn't have the GCPD confiscate this awesome penthouse and everything inside (besides the wine of course). Actually this was the first official date for the Joker. His visions of the past are hazy but even before the incident, dating was never much of a priority. Being a man of intellect with the goal of making everyone in Gotham laugh, time is his most valuable possession, especially when making up schemes to kill the bat. A woman can tend to shift the direction of a man's attention though, he was definitely becoming a victim of the doctor.

Harley looked at his massive collection and grew a little tired from trying to decide which wine was best for their first date. "I gotta say Mistah J I don't know what to choose. I'll just have you pick the wine. I'm sure you know what's best."

"Yes indeed. I like to believe I have excellent taste,..." He got closer to her and

nuzzled her neck sensually. She shivered from his mouth placing a small trail of kisses that led up to her shoulder. "...and I'm not talking about the wine." This was hard for her not to rip the suit off his body and jump him with immediacy. She was starting to become a little wet and she wondered how long it would take him to notice. It was just something about his outputs of affection that began the water works. Granted she's not soaking yet but another sneak attack and well….

"Mmmm Misstaah J, you really know how to woo a girl."

"With you it all comes natural to me sweets." The two were both entranced in each other's mouths. Some tongue play was in order while they continue sharing air under the craving for more of the other's oxygen. She was helpless in his actions of passion and all she wanted to do at that moment was let go. To fall and know that there would be someone to catch her was causing her heart pump with such a pace J could hear it thumping loud. Both eventually broke the kiss and stared at each other. Their expressions of happiness was matched with how this date has unraveled. To be in the presence of someone that makes you feel like life is just grand, everything has a new perspective to it. Think of it like a filter, it adds a layer to your vision to give you a sense of differentiation upon reality, their energy has that depth of impact on how perfect things can be and as they knew this was happening neither couldn't imagine going back to an "ordinary" life, that was not an option.

"Sweetie."

"Yes love."

"Ya ever get bored in this penthouse, just seems like you don't use this space a lot honey."

"You couldn't be more right sweets, I don't use this penthouse to the fullest extent of my abilities. It's mainly due to my life as a sadistic homicidal but comical clown hehe." Harley smiled from his silliness.

"And handsome of course. But don't you ever get lonely though Mistah J?"

"No, I have you." She immediately latched onto her clown, pleased with his response. He felt the attack of a hundred kisses on his face. For some reason the thought of humming birds licking sugar water was in his head, probably for comparison to this moment. Deep down he was loving her affection and found it cute how quickly she turned to putty in his hands. He tried to imagine what would happen if he got her jewelry in the future say for an anniversary, or a proposal.

Something drew his attention definitely, feeling like his pants were getting a little damp. Wait that doesn't sound right, his pant's were just dry a moment ago, and he didn't spill any wine or liquids…..ohhh.

He was getting turned on from her wetness for him but he had to control himself for now, there was dinner waiting for them and he doesn't want to mix food with sex, at least not yet, maybe on the fifth date. He grabbed her and passionately gave her some sugar. Her moaning response made him know that this was gonna be hard, no pun intended.

"Pumpkin?" There was some seriousness in his tone but he still kept his devious remarks present. This was the first time seeing his little Harley wet and frankly he was gonna have a little fun.

"Yes sweetie."

"I sensed a shift in the moistness of my trousers. I feel like I am the cause of these May showers." Harley blushed from him noticing her wetness. Wondering what he would do next was killing her but soon she would discover he enjoyed to keep the anticipation more than most. A couple seconds passed later and "Weellll…"

"You make me feel good." That was music to his ears.

"I aim to please. I have to ask one thing though."

"What Mistah J?"

"Are you a virgin Harleen?" Her cheeks turned rosy red, some embarrassment, she hesitated to respond but he already knew the answer. "Aww pooh there's nothing to feel embarrassed about. I quite honored actually. I get to teach the doc a thing or two." She giggled and playfully smack him.

"My dirty clown. Do you even produce swimmers Mistah J?" He looked at her as if she stabbed him in the back. He responded sounding like an english professor. "Of course my dear harlequin I do in fact secrete the sperm needed to perform my duty as a male in this bare world of ours…." He strutted closer to his jester and picked her up with swiftness, "...the acid didn't take anything from me sweets, it just opened my horizons." He gave her an eskimo kiss and then began tickling her immensely. "Hehe stop it J, you know how sensitive I am." Her laughter was broken into incomprehensible segments that an audiologist would have trouble listening to. The Joker felt like breaking the laughter with an act of passion. Deep down he hoped that this wasn't too forward. "Ohh I can imagine love." He groped her breast with a firm grasp. Her panties were about to become soaked. "Ouuu J you definitely blew up the dam."

"I have plenty of dynamite."

…

J laid some covers over his resting Harley. Once she was perfectly tucked into his bed, he headed to the bar in his living room to make a drink and a quick phone call.

"Zzzz zzzz."

"Yes Sir?"

"Yes David my good man I need you to go to the address I sent you earlier today and enter the home. Tony should be there and probably peeved, so take some of the cash in the glove compartment and give it to him. Also tell him I'm sorry and that I owe him one as well as I'll give him a call tomorrow."

"Yes Mister Joker. Is there anything else?"

"Ah yess. Pick up the food he made. There's no sense in wasting that delicious cuisine." His appetite was there from a long day of consuming nothing but Ritz crackers and V8. There was also what he did to his Harley, she sleeps like a baby after daddy came to her aid and gave her a good reliever. Now now before we look at this man with a change of outlook we have to know that he didn't go the whole way, he's a gentlemen. He's not some iniquitous, vile man. Granted I'm not sure what you're beliefs are when it comes to the end of a well performed date but hey, the lady needed some sugar.

J made a scotch on the rocks and gulped it in a second. He made another one but this was neat. All he did for ten minutes was roam the halls of his home. He needed to process what will come of this, there was never an instance when he added someone in the loop. Everyone else sorta came along in time over the years as he stayed in Gotham. This however was different, he wanted her to stay, and maybe more. Finishing his scotch he sauntered into the bedroom. Looking at her calmly sleeping in his bed gave him aspiration that this could lead to something new, something beautiful, something funny.

He entered the bed naked to get comfortable. Before drifting into another dreamless night all wanted to say to the sleeping doctor at that moment was, "You are an amazing woman. I'll make you something nice in the morning." He kissed her goodnight and felt happy. The happiness was different from the norm, not the same as when he kills humorless individuals or when he's on the brink of finally breaking the bat, but sleeping with someone who could see past his homicidal side created a sense of curiosity to the joy, what else could come about being with another person. He wanted to say more to his Harley but he didn't want her to start running for the hills. Nevertheless today was a success and now he just wanted to wake up to see her face as the sun began to rise.

…..

A glaring light burst through the darkness that he had become too accustomed with. The Joker felt awakened but not actually, this was very unusual. Sensing his surroundings revealed that he was in a condensed space, like a closet. The light appearing from the hinges and sill. He opened the door, walked into a room with some confusion, he had no idea where he was.

"Ding Ding Ding Ding."

"Huh. Now that sounded like a school bell. Wait that doesn't make much sense at all. There's nothing here, just emptiness." Turning around he saw what appeared to be a typical high school class room. A chalk board with old smudges that the janitor forgot to clean the previous night, those oddly fused desks with chewing gum under them if you're lucky. Other presents would consist of a crudely shaped penis secrete semen profusely.

He stepped to one and noticed someone drew a tilted swastika. He rolled his eyes from the sight, "Woww...god people really need to step up on creativity and originality." Looking up he stared at the dimly lit yellow fluorescent lightbulbs. He immediately felt the type of disgust that urged to burn this place to the ground, "Fuck High School." The chalkboard began to write by itself without warning. Joker had quickly focused on the message at hand to see what his subconscious wanted to say.

A happy individual can simply demonstrate their satisfaction, but every now and then you have to give them a hand.

"Huh now that's interesting. I wonder if this about someone else. Being me, I'm pretty proud of myself and what I contribute to Gotham. Yes it has to be." A split second later he heard a scream. It was feminine. It had intensity to it but not with fear, in fact with pleasure. "Mmmm oh who could that be?" He smirked alone with the moans of her excitement. As the satisfaction grew so did his grin. Leaving the room he quickly looked for the source of the delightful noise. Turning around the hall he discovered the epicenter of those decibels that rang lovely in his ears. Reading the door he noticed it was the principal's office. On the other side of the door was a girl that needed a hand and he was more than happy to assist. Before he entered he chuckled from what was to occur, "Me and my corrupted mind."

Pushing the door open revealed a sight he couldn't unsee, and frankly he didn't want to either. He saw his Harley sitting on top of the principal's desk. She was wearing a catholic schoolgirl uniform with the absence of a black skirt. In her hand was a wooden crucifix and she had been playing with her pussy in wait for her clown. Pulling out the wood from her cunt she licked it to catch all the juices on her tongue and savour the taste. She looked at him, the glimpse of desire escaped her azul marbles. Standing up and walking to him she lifted the crucifix up to his mouth. J licked it and felt an erection forming. "Ah just as delicious as I remember sweets. What's this?" He noticed the little minx was wearing a black leather choker. He tightened it and felt her pulse increase.

"Yes Daddy tighter."

"Oh you dirty girl." To remember any dream this was definitely one of them. "Tell me dear, what do you want right now?"

"You inside me." The two were entranced in the others gaze. Harley unzipped his pants to meet his member. Joker threw her back on the desk to show her what happens when good girls are obedient to daddy. Those luscious legs she possessed were playing with his cock. She had pantyhouse on and he ripped them off with his teeth. Just as soon as J was about to ride his Harley he heard a ringing in his head. The noise paralyzed him. Unfortunately as the sound got louder he couldn't think and everything stopped around him.

"Ring Ring Ring."

J woke up to the sound of his cell going off. If he didn't have all his contacts and clients listed, he would have smashed the shit out of that phone. He also didn't want to wake up Harley due to it only being 4:30 in the morning. Turning to his side he saw her still peacefully sleeping. The little smile formed on her lips made him feel happy to be with her. He never believed in coincidences, things happen for a reason. Not that he believed in some higher power no, he believed in the rules of human nature.

He tried to shift out of bed but couldn't. Harley had her arms wrapped around her clown for comfort. What surprised him was that he did not notice. A part of him was worried that he might become soft with her around. But he knew that if he was gonna let anyone in, it was gonna be her. There was no need to fear what the future holds. All we can do live and hope for the best.

Being up now was an inconvenience. The sun isn't even up yet and he is wide awake. He personally felt like going for a drive. Harley probably won't wake up for a while. There will be breakfast prepared when he gets back, this was gonna be a long drive.

Joker twisted and turned like how Ross did to Rachel in that one episode of Friends. Successfully getting out of the bed he quickly put his clothes back on and headed to the elevator to go down to the underground garage. There was a number pad that appeared from side above the buttons when he said "Napier". He inserted the code: 42540. A retinal scanner revealed itself. Scanning his left eye the machine glowed green with the response, "Greetings Mr. Joker. Where do you want to go?"

"The garage."

He had to make a couple accommodations to the boards and councils of the company that owns this building. But not to worry Lexcorp appreciates the donations, it's a tax write off. "Like I pay taxes," he said to himself. Looking at the elevator it went down at medium speed. Going to "B1...B2…...J1." The elevator opened to a completely private garage that only a small handful of people knew about. The cars he possessed had speed and flash. The one he felt like driving though was the Zenvo ST1. Now that was fun to drive on the highway when no one is on the road. It had the shade of midnight purple with Xenon blue lights to see during his night drives. Revving the engine he sped up the secret tunnel that was motion activated to open the side building wall. The incline up always made a jump, especially for this supercar.

Driving through the streets of downtown Gotham there was little around. Luckily all the intersection lights were lit green. He entered onto the Keaton Expressway and went into sixth gear. The sound of 1240 horsepower was near deafening with the windows down. The highway was an eight lane and had nearly no cars on it. This was the Jokers autobahn. Feeling the wind blowing in the car was refreshing and helped keep him awake. Burning rubber was a nice way to burn off steam or just when he was bored. His boredness never really occurred often but sometimes you just have the passion to get up and move.

The top speed of this beast was 375 kpm which worked well on the straight sections of road. Zooming by a cop he instantly chuckled. "You pigs need to pay attention. You don't want to get cooked from my exhaust." The siren went but in an instant they were in the clowns dust. He got off on Snyder Street to make a quick little stop at Harleen's home. There wasn't much he had to do there, he just wanted to examine the townhouse to know what he had to work with for the future. He entered the home and took pictures of all the rooms. In the kitchen he left a few $100 bills, "Just for something fun."

Soon after he entered back into the car and drove back on the highway, he wanted to see how many laps he could do around Kane bridge. The clock in the Zenvo showed the time to be 5:24 a.m. He still had plenty of time, Harley had to be at work around 9:00 a.m. and he only needed at least an hour for breakfast. There was also the possibility of other things as well but we'll have to see.

Around 6:09 a.m. The Joker was finished with his racing pursuit of Gotham for this morning. Breaking so many speeding laws actually gave him quite an appetite. Before heading back home he went to the drive thru of a Burger King on Miagani.

"Welcome to Burger King, how may I take your order?"

"Ah yes I would like a Whopper with extra pickles and extra mayonnaise, a medium fry, and a small root beer, I'm trying to watch my figure, hehee."

"Okay sir, that will be $5.86. Please go to the next window."

"Noice." He followed the narrow drive thru lane to the first window. A woman nonchalantly looked at the computer to see The Joker's order.

"$5.86 plea…" The lady was dumbstruck to see The Joker in the car in front of the window. All he could do is grin to the woman's fear. He handed her $6, "Please keep the change." "Thank you." She said in an intimidated tone. He went to the next window. "Here you go...oh shit."

"Now son, is that any way to talk to your elders."

"No..no sir I'm sorry sir. Here you go." The scared employee gave Joker the bag containing salt, sugar, and fat. "Good boy," His tone voice changed to see if he could get the boy to piss himself. "If I can back here and you use that nasty language around me I will personally cut off your tongue and make you eat it before I gun you down with the Glock 17 in my pocket. GOT IT!" J saw the kid look down at his pants before quickly responding.

"...yes." Jackpot.

"Have it your way, hahahahaha." Joker spun off the lane to get out of the area quickly. It was only a matter of time before the police show up and he wanted to eat his burger in peace. He went below an overpass to eat his first morning meal. "God would Harley approve of this choice of food. She may be a psychiatrist but she still had medical training. It will work in handy when I go into cardiac arrest from all this junk." Throwing out the bag into the street he zoomed back to his home to get back to his Harley. The sun was just starting to peek through the horizon. Activating the fake wall entrance he maneuvered through the sharp corners. He parked the "bullet" and headed to the elevator. Now being on his floor he exited the elevator and was outside his main door. "Time to start the day."

Taking off all his clothes, shift back into bed, and wrapped her arms around him once again. Everything was back into place. He saw the clock on the nightstand, it read 6:37 a.m. The sun was beginning to rise in the sky. With the windows lifting up the shades automatically the rays of the sun shined through the glass. It seemed to radiate on her, the golden threads of her hair were glowing from the light. It was a sight he never wanted to forget especially for the first time. Her eyes slowly opened in the midst of the sun's glow. She smiled once seeing her lover's eyes. Getting a tighter hold around her clown she gave him a deep kiss.

"Good morning love."

"Good morning sweetie. Is that Barq's I taste."

"It's helps me sleep sometimes."

...