"How are you today?"
"Different."
"Would you care to elaborate Jay?"
"Tony, you know I'm not one for conversing on deep and deciduous thoughts."
"Yet you came here so I'm sure you must have something on your mind you would like to disgust."
"Yeah Batsy isn't much for talks, he likes to let his fists do the talking. I wanted to apologize in person for missing the dinner you made for Harley and I. The poor girl was a little too tired and somewhat intoxicated. It was time to call it a night and we didn't even have dessert yet hehe, she definitely tasted sweet."
"Oh my. Well aren't you the pinnacle of human interaction. You usually leave people with a grinning smile or fear to tell others the tale."
"Do I sense jealousy Tony? I know I came here without a warning but if I knew you and Michael were having a late lunch I wouldn't have interrupted." Michael entered the living room. He gave Tony his soup and sandwich. "Would like something to eat Jay?"
"I'm afraid I'll have to decline Michael. Harley is making a big dinner tonight so I need to save some room. Sorry for the unexpected appearance, I felt like I needed to talk to someone about recent events."
"Oh it's no problem honey, you are welcome here anytime Jay. It's just lunch anyway. I'm guessing this about Harley?" Tony was a little annoyed.
"I was just building up to that hun."
"Well sorry but you don't need to be a detective to know what he wants to talk about. I'll be in the kitchen if anybody needs me."
"Thank you honey," Michael left the living room to go back in the kitchen. "So Jay this is why you came here today?"
"Why yes your husband couldn't have been more accurate. In the past I haven't had much need to converse but recently that has changed."
"The stage is all yours old friend."
"Thank you. As you know I'm not one for enlisting others in my inner circle. Living a life of crime and rejoicing in the success there has been a lack of excitement. The money and drugs never resonated with me unlike some of my associates who need it to define themselves. No I inspire laughter and joy in my fellow Gothamites. That followed with the respect of my lessers and lackeys were enough to satisfy me but lately that hasn't been the case. Of course what about the bat? Doesn't he provide the excitement that would fulfill my desires? Yes that was usually the case. Most nights fighting in an alley or blimp punching the shit out of each other…so much blood, Monday's am I right?"
"So with Harley…"
"I'm getting there don't be impatient. As we got bloody I knew there was no greater feeling in the whole fucking world. And the years went by I performed acts against him that were just perfect he would never forget and believe me he didn't. Seeing the members of his family grew with time the number of targets only increased and lead me to paralyzing one, killing the other, giving the rest PTSD. Now I know how can a supervillain get tired of this life? I haven't, it's the consistency in the cycle that became stale. The severity of this was worse than I originally thought."
"How so Jay?"
"I couldn't laugh recently, for months even. It's because of that I haven't been out reaving havoc in the big city as much as usual. Hell a couple of people think I'm dead." That response surprised Tony. "I'm sorry Jay."
"Yeah that was a rough couple of months. This lead to crimes I already performed and old gags I no longer enjoyed. Ya ever try to patent fish? Don't it's a complete bitch of a process."
"But you managed to survive Jay. That is what matters most. Everyone has periods in their lives where nothing seems to change."
"Yes but some nights gave me nothing except unconditional boredom and loneliness. Every now and then I would begin walks down certain parts of Gotham to evaluate my erratic thoughts."
"I felt that there was something missing in my life. Walking one night down the street I saw this woman taking a stroll in a less than pleasant part of the city. She wore heels that accentuated her slender legs. I remember they were black. Keeping a distance I didn't make her face entirely except for the sides and back giving me the assumption she had breathtaking features, I didn't know I was a sucker for blondes. I had no idea what my plans were on that night. Could I talk to her? What would happen? How would she respond to me?"
"On that partly cloudy night she made a right turn which was anything but right. A so called "thug" tailed her in the alley and I knew what was about to happen, the underworld can be dark but we've all seen it's general methods of criminals. She was not going to be a victim of this damaged city. Not even knowing the woman from before I had the urge to kill the men that would attempt to mug her or do worse. Entering the alley I stuck to the shadows and away from any potential light from the sky. Those two cretins had no idea who was there with her. As they backed her up into the wall I felt an anger I never perceived before. I pulled out my .357 and put one in each of their empty skulls. I personally wanted to take them captive and make them wish for death but I was focused on...her."
"She looked so timid, trying to escape the nightmare of that night. When her head was looking up she saw someone, me lending out a hand. I knew she was still keeping her guard up, understandable due to what just happened. With my charming self and humor I was able to calm her and make her giggle. God that giggle makes me happier than ever. As the moonlight pierced through the clouds she saw the man that saved her and a word that came to mind was dumbstruck. I mean why would an evil individual such as I help out anyone? The answer was when I saw her curling up back against the wall awaiting for horror, and not the type I approve of. To be a victim of such an injustice would have sent her down a cycle of doubt and self destruction. Innocence is a virtue not many of us possess. That night started something new though. For the first time I felt a part of another's timeline. Was it fate? I honestly have no idea."
"The moonlight also revealed the details of perfection with her. Seeing her face for the first time I instantly felt drawn to her, those azul eyes that reminded me of the ocean, her smooth skin like that of a Jubilee tomato, luscious blonde waves of length. And the glasses added another layer of beauty to her already goddess like appearance. Asking her she would probably deny it but she is the most beautiful women in the world. Being there to save her made me happy to be alive, the size of my grin couldn't have been wider."
"Walking her home brought back hazy memories of my teenage years. Now I don't know if they're accurate references but it showed me a calm like I've never experienced before. To have someone who would stand next to you staring into the abyss of insanity and bring a bag of popcorn, witness the pure bliss two can share when they know they're meant to become one. To paint the town green with toxin, boot the batmobile for parking in a fire lane, or even get married."
"Whoa Jay, I had no idea how much Harley means to you. I honestly can say with confidence that you have found someone that has opened your closed emotions from a comatose state. You are human Jay and just like any other human you have ambition, goals, and desires. We all want deep down to have someone we can lie in bed with at night and wake up to see their face in the morning. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. To find my soulmate was the biggest challenge I ever had to face. To be alone has it's benefits but I was never one to enjoy complete silence."
"Well you have your partner Michael. I never expected myself to become so involved in another human being, especially in the romance category. Even though it takes time to adjust sleeping with another person, it's fun to know her patterns. Harley can go all over the place. She snores sometimes too. The warmth she disperses fills a room with comfort. It made me realize that I too could care for another person, well only her. Do you think this all could have been faith or just dumb luck?"
"Living my life and experiencing everything that came so far I personally believe that the world has a funny way of letting events come to fruition. Every action has an effect Jay. Faith or not, you have in the present someone very special. There are those who leave this world without ever experiencing that sensation of passion. Now go and pick up your girl. Doesn't she work till about three?"
"Oh shit I don't want to be late," Joker jumped off the couch and zipped to the door. "Have a nice day Tony, give Michael my best." Tony smiled and finally looked down at his plate. "Dam it, Michael can you microwave this please?"
The Joker got in his Zenvo and sped in the direction of the asylum. Passing by many cars he noticed one in particular. However this wasn't a car, it was more like a tank, a black tank. The engine roared with diesel running through it's veins. The armored vehicle was chasing the Joker down to the on ramp. "God damn it, I don't have the time for a race bats. I need to stop him in his tracks." He pressed one of the buttons on his dashboard for these types of situations. A hefty trail of oil was sprayed on the lane to divert the bat. Unfortunately Batman averted the trap. "Okay let's see if this works." With another button pressed the back grille lowered and two .50 caliber barrels appeared and began firing on the batmobile. The persistent gun fire was enough to damage the batmobile but the armor was still holding. Batman fired a grappling hook which pierced through the back bumper. Batman stomped his foot on the brake and shifted the gear in reverse. Slowing down the Joker he became irate, he opened the sunroof while holding down the gas in sixth gear. "Hey Batsy, see if your tank can handle this." He pulled the trigger on the RPG he held just in case his contingencies failed. The batmobile ejected Batman before the rocket impacted it. Joker laughed at the fire while others were screaming. "He's just going to have another ride sooner rather than later. Hopefully the next one won't tell the world you're trying to compensate for something else." He unlatched the back bumper and sped off into the mountains.
"Next time Joker."
Harley waited outside off the asylum for her clown. Checking her phone again for the fifth time it appeared to be 3:00 p.m. "Where is he? I hope he's okay." In the horizon she saw the Zenvo coming in her direction. When it stopped in front of her she noticed the car was damaged on its sides and was missing a back bumper. Harley got in and they zoomed to her house in silence.
In the town house Harley spoke out to cut the quietness. "What happened to the car puddin?" He turned from the window to face her. "The batman, that is what happened. As I was coming to get you he tailed me out of nowhere in that tank of his and we raced against each other a little. He cheated because he hooked my back bumper which lead me to detach it. But I took down his monstrosity with an RPG. I'm sorry for being late to pick you up sweets. I needed to make sure he wouldn't follow me. I couldn't forgive myself if I got you in the crosshairs pumpkin." Harley hugged him. "My poor puddin. I know how to turn that frown upside down." She kissed him on the tip of his nose. That triggered a nasal response sneezing in her face. The two giggled at the situation. "Ya hungry Mistah J?"
"Yes actually, I quite famished and skipping lunch didn't help."
"Don't worry sweetie, I'll make you something special."
"I can help you, I'm a pretty decent cook."
"Oh I definitely know. But I want to make you a family specialty I had in Brooklyn growing up. I'll let you come up with an idea for dessert."
"Whatever it is it will probably involve whipcream. And it might not just be used for dessert." He traced his index finger around her left breast. "More than a cannoli of course." Even with a light tease that sparked Harley's engine.
"You always taste divine puddin."
"You always taste like cherries sweets." He held her again. Thinking of the way she looked at him with such an admiration it was warming him internally. If you would have told him a year ago that he would be here in a lovely woman's townhouse making dinner and euphemisms about fucking he'd laugh before sending you a gift basket full of explosives that dispersed Joker toxin.
Sharing saliva J noticed an enticing scent of her perfume. "Is that vanilla I smell from your neck?"
"It also has a hint of white rose in it." J blew in her neck causing her to chuckle. "Haha Mistah J you kno...ha ho..hahahaha sensitive my skin is."
"Oh I know sweets. You're just that irresistible." With laughing it evolved to kissing than to near panting. But it stopped momentarily when the oven buzzed.
"Shit the oven is already preheated, I have to get cookin." She ran to the kitchen to make the food. J pulled out a flask and took a quick shwig. "Vodka? I need to really keep a log of what I currently have. At least it wasn't jager this time, I'm still not allowed in the downtown IHOP."
One hour later…..
"Honey, ya mind setting the table?"
"Sure pooh." Putting down his paper he went to her china cabinet and placed down two bowls, plates, forks, knives, and spoons. "It smells delicious."
"I hope you'll like it sweetie, this dish is one my mother would make for me after gymnastics practice."
"That explains your swift agility."
"Well we won't be able to move after dessert." She appeared from the kitchen wearing an apron covered in a red soup base. Her face had a stain or two that she must not have noticed. "Weren't you the busy little bee." Looking down at her apron she turned pink. "Whoopsie I hadn't realized how much of dinner was on me." He walked up to her and traced her left cheek and licked his index finger. She smiled, "How do I taste?"
"Mmmm like boiled tomatoes with a hint of allspice and oregano." She kissed him in approval. "Excellent taste buds puddin. Ya think I should get changed for our dinner?"
"You are always beautiful no matter what your wearing or what's on you sweets. I should get you a wet paper towel to wipe off the rest of the broth though."
"Thank you puddin." He cleaned off her face gently. Roughness wasn't necessary for her only gentleness. Going to retrieve the food she calls for him, "Oh I almost forgot, if you want to play some music there are speakers in the corner that have an usb adapter to most phones."
He went to his phone and searched through his music to find something that would suit the evening well. "Some Philip Glass should do the track." Etude No. 2 was first to play. Harley bring out a pot of soup to start the dinner. "I call this spinach matzo ball minestrone." Tasting his first bowl he was shocked to discover how delicious this was. "Dam, you'll give Tony a run for his money with this."
"Who's Tony?"
"An old friend in the underworld. He's a cook who prepares for the underbelly of Gotham. Also caters for evil occasions but those got a little too tacky, 'cough' Riddler. But this is delicious."
She lit up like a christmas tree in joy. "You really like it that much?"
"Definitely, I enjoy minestrone soup and I like matzo balls. I can't believe I never thought to put the two together though. Hell with this start for the main course, I'm looking forward to dessert even further. Good job beautiful."
"I'm so glad you like it puddin. There's a confession I have to make about the dessert though." He dropped his spoon for dramatic effect, "Are we out of whip cream!" She giggled at his silliness. "No sweetie, that will be used up later. The dessert I got isn't homemade, it's store bought. Yeah cannoli's takes a little more time to make especially for me because I don't know how to make it."
"Don't worry pumpkin your secret will be safe with me." The two continued to have their meal in harmony. Listening to the elegant sound of Philip Glass playing the piano gave a soothing tone to the lovely dinner. "Nice choice of music puddin. It's been awhile since I've heard this."
"Yeah it seemed just right for the occasion."
After finishing their meal together the two got up to the couch and shared the cannoli's. Feeding each other sensually the music brought a feeling in the air and that feeling was romance. The speakers begun shifting to the works of Sinatra and well you should kinda know where I'm heading here.
"C'mon Mistah J let's dance." He held her up and twirled in the center of her living room. Shifting, twisting from side to side as the adrenaline pumped throughout their bodies. Holding each other to the lyrics of You Make Me Feel So Young they wanted to savour the moment. "This is nice." Feeling full, happy, and a little buzzed from a scotch or two, the Joker had the desire to say something to her. They were words that weren't always treaded likely in any language. To say for the first time to someone that means so much to you could be scary. Some say it without passion behind and there were others who don't deserve it. This however wasn't one of those situations, no this felt just right to him. He knew the feelings of companionship are mutual but how does one who cares so much for an individual not just blurt them out from being unable to hold their true emotions. The two here never experienced love in the romantic aspect of life. He never grew fond of anyone before her and she never felt a connection or attraction with anyone before him. Happiness is never overrated in this life, all you have to do is find it and you'll know.
"Yes it is beautiful. What else could you ask for?"
"A kiss." Giving him big shiny eyes.
"Now how could I refuse you." He gave her deep kiss with light tongue. Hearing her soft moan gave him the confirmation that she's feeling better. Shifting motions, Harley laid her hands on her puddin's broad shoulders. "I think heels are the only way I keep up with your height sweetie."
"I'm only six foot and half an inch."
"Hey I'm five foot six, I'm average honey."
"Your anything but average."
"You always know what to say don't you."
"It's a part of my schema love, I will always be true to you Harleen, no matter what happens in the future. You're my friend, my partner, my salvation. I love you Harleen Francis Quinzel."
...