Warnings: Swearing
Backstory: Aunt May kicked Peter out after finding out he lied about being Spiderman. Tony adopts him, and he lives at the Tower. Post-Homecoming
"Okay, so Peter's said he's got everything set up in his room so we can practice," Ned told the rest of the decathalon team as he led them down the street. "And his dad told him we could order pizza and stuff."
Flash trailed after everyone else, frowning. "I thought Peter lives with his aunt."
Shrugging, Ned replied, "she kicked him out. He said he got adopted last month and moved." He looked down at his phone. "Aaaaaaand we're here."
They stopped, looking up at the very tall and very familiar tower.
"That's Avengers Tower," MJ remarked.
"Is that the address Peter gave you?"
Ned checked his phone again. "Y-yeah, it is, but-"
A small beep interrupted him.
In front of them hovered a small drone, and it beeped again.
"Are you Peter's fellow teammates?" said a woman's voice. No one moved, until finally the woman spoke again. "Enter the building and go to the elevator in the back left corner." With that, the drone flew up and disappeared.
Exchanging confused looks, they all did as ordered. The man at the security desk eyed them for a second, then went back to his crossword puzzle.
No one was sure what to do - there weren't any buttons in the elevator. Then the woman spoke again. "Arrived at floor forty-seven."
The doors slid open to reveal a large living room that opened into a kitchen with gleaming appliances. Two hallways went to either side; one with multiple doorways and the other with a single door. Ahead, through the living room, was floor-to-ceiling windows with a gorgeous view of the city.
"Peter is in his room, third door on the left in the right hallway," the woman said again. "The door is unlocked."
Numbly, Ned led his friends down the hallway, and found the third door. He pushed it open and stepped into the room.
It was huge. Swivel chairs and bells were set up at fold-up tables, and a podium that looked suspiciously like the one from the Stark Industries press meetings.
Peter wasn't in the room however.
At least, not until Flash grabbed Carlos' arms and pointed at the ceiling.
To their absolute shock, Peter was sitting on the ceiling, holding a book in one hand and munching on a handful of chips from a Doritoes bag that seemed to be hanging from the ceiling by white thread. Empty bags of chips and soda cans were scattered on the ground by a trash can.
As they watched, he flipped the page, finished the last of his chips, and tossed it at the garbage can. Absentmindedly, he thrust out his hand, pressed his middle and ring finger to his palm, and a white thread fired out. It slammed into a full soda can that sat on a nearby desk, and he yanked. Peter caught the soda, popped the tab while still upside down, and chugged it.
"Peter?!" Lilly cried.
Soda sprayed from Peter's mouth and he fell from the ceiling. With a yell, he flailed for barely a second before he landed flat on the ground with a very loud thud.
"Minor injury detected," a new woman's voice said. "Calling-"
"End call, end call, end call!" Peter shrieked, voice muffled as he slowly pulled himself to his feet using the podium. "Owwwwww..."
"Ending call," said the voice. "I suggest medical assistance. Scan for injuries?"
"No, no, no, no," Peter hissed, and turned around to face the other students. They all flinched as they saw blood gushing from his nose and smeared all over his hands and face. "Okay, Ned, I need you to help me reset this - owwwww - before it heals."
Ned swallowed and dropped his backpack before stepping forward. He gently pushed Peter into a sitting position on the nearby bed. "Again? I'm not going to break your nose if it's not perfect."
"Bathroom, please, ow, I need towels before it gets everywhere," Peter mumbled. He gestured vaguely at the opposite wall where a door indeed was.
MJ disappeared inside to grab towels, while everyone else watched.
"Ready?" Ned asked, and Peter made a noise. "One, tw-"
In the middle of the word, Ned straightened Peter's nose. The teen gasped, and blood flowed even faster. "NED!"
MJ returned with hand towels, which Peter snatched up and buried his face in. They watched as he mumbled something into it before saying, louder, "Karen, can you show Ned where the splint-thingies are?"
"Of course," the now-named 'Karen' replied. "Ned, the medical cupboard is..."
Peter groaned, until Ned returned. He applied the stuff bandage over Peter's nose, and took the towels.
Already, the blood had stopped. Now he just looked like he had blood all over him. And the floor. And the towels. And Ned's hands. And the bed.
"What the hell?!" Flash yelped.
Mumbling under his breath, Peter stripped the bed of its blue and red sheets and chucked them at the corner. A chute opened up and they flew into it, towels right behind them.
Crouching, Peter pinched the white carpet and pulled. It came up in a strip, two feet wide and ten feet long. The two panels of carpet with blood on them went into the chute, and it closed.
Finally, Peter pulled off his hoodie, revealing a Midtown tank top underneath. Everyone was gawking as he moved around, muscles bulging with barely any effort. He headed into the bathroom, dragging Ned after him, and water ran in the sink.
When the two came out again, they were blood-free.
"So... how much did you guys see?" Peter asked sheepishly.
"You're Spiderman?!"
"You stole my car!"
"YOU DITCHED LIZ AT HOMECOMING TO FIGHT HER DAD?!"
"YOU SAVED US FROM THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT?!"
"WHAT THE HELL, PETER?!"
Peter winced, his hands clamped over his ears. "Okay, first of all, ow. Super senses here."
Ned smacked him.
"Second of all, in answer to your questions: yes, yes I did, yes, yep, and sorry," he continued. "Also, quick question, why are you all half an hour early?!"
"We aren't," Carlos pointed out. "We actually were late."
The superhero paled. "Oh." For a minute or two, they sat in silence. Then Peter got up and started picking up all of his junk food wrappers and cans.
"What's with all the sugar, dude?" MJ asked.
He bit his lip, then mumbled, "I didn't want to be weird by ordering, like, ten pizzas, because I have to eat over twenty thousand calories a day. On days like today, where I just go to school and don't go web slinging." With perfect aim, he tossed the garbage into the can. "Thought if I ate a bunch beforehand, I wouldn't get too hungry later and weird you all out by eating five pizzas."
Flash swallowed. "Sorry, Parker. I just- I'm an idiot."
At his words, Peter opened his mouth to speak, but Karen interrupted him. "Your father is back from his meetings. I would advise removing the splint before he sees it."
Peter ripped it off and chucked it towards the garbage before the door to his room opened.
"Hey, Underoös, how's-"
Tony Stark stood there, frowning at the mind-blown decathalon team, while Peter buried his face in his hands.
A/N: Another dumb fic with Iron!Dad and a bit of an oblivious Peter.