Hey everyone, what's up? Let's jump into the chapter, shall we?
It continues to rain through the next day. Once, sometime towards noon, it lightens up enough to seem as if it's about to stop, but that quickly passes, and rain continues to pour. I'm forced to venture out in it for food. The easiest harvest to find is berries, but since I can't find an abundance, and I'm worried harder foods might upset Rin's stomach, I give all the fruit to her whenever she's awake. As for myself, I put up with a couple of roots. I can't help but sorely regret that we didn't go fishing while we were by the river, and it seems Jaken feels the same, considering how he won't shut up about it. I endure his negativity until Sesshomaru says something about it, successfully muting the imp.
The entire time, Sesshomaru never moves Rin from his side, except for when she insists she needs to go to the bathroom. On the rare occasion she does so, I lead her outside briefly before returning her to him, and she uses his fur to dry off her hair. One time in the late evening she neglects to do so after returning, and I watch as Sesshomaru silently does it for her. An old ache blooms in my chest at the sight, and I can't help but sigh.
I want to draw them. For once, draw, instead of paint. With the dimness of the cave and the weather, there isn't enough color to warrant paint. Besides, it feels like the soft lead of a pencil would better capture the comfort of Rin snuggled up against Sesshomaru, and the vulnerable worry lying just beneath the surface of Sesshomaru's stoic expression. She truly is precious to him. His most important person.
The ache in my chest turns to a sting. I rub the area over my heart and keep my breathing even, puzzled. Why does thinking such a thing...hurt? It isn't anything new. He's always had a particular care for Rin.
It just...he's always been my friend...my protector...but maybe that's because I always only knew him only in theory. He's also always been an idea. It only makes sense that an idea would be different from real life, and in real life, she's the one he has a special connection with.
The acute sense of loss that accompanies this conclusion startles me. This is ridiculous. It's not like he left me, or rejected me. I've been far closer to him this past month than I've ever been in my entire life! So for me to feel like I've lost something...it's plain wrong.
It's still raining when I wake again the next day, but not long after the world has finished brightening, the downpour once again begins to let up, and this time, it stops. After checking on Rin's condition, I venture out again for food, able to go farther without the rain to hinder me. As I unbury roots for my complaining stomach, I purposely let my hands scratch on the thorns of the plant in an effort to staunch memory of ill-will stabbing me when I checked Rin's fever. It was just for a second, not even, but it hit me so hard I can't deny I felt it. It was just one thought, the thought that if Rin wasn't around... And now I feel absolutely wretched.
After I've eaten enough to calm the demands of my stomach for a short time, I go about gathering berries. It makes me feel even worse when I discover the showers have knocked most of the ripened berries off their bushes, leaving me hardly any to collect for the sick girl. A patch of giant mushrooms has me wishing I had that plant book I started. Mushrooms are probably soft enough not to bother Rin's stomach, but without absolute certainty that they're edible, there's no way I'm risking it. In the end, I return with hardly a single handful of food. Rin, of course, doesn't complain, though. She simply eats what is offered. With the snail's pace at which she picks at it, it's likely she doesn't have much of an appetite to be sated, anyway.
Without much else to do, and my hands somewhat bloody from my earlier self-punishment, I seek out an herb, struggle to rip a strip from the hem of my dress, and wrap a makeshift bandage around my left hand, a few herb leafs snug between the cloth and my skin. Frankly, I'm not sure if the leaf will actually help with anything except chafing, but even if it is a questionable ancient remedy, I imagine it can't hurt, even if I have the wrong plant. However, I'm forced to return to the cave with only one hand tended. It was hard enough tying the bandage using just my right hand. I don't think I could copy it with my non-dominant hand. Still, I take along some of the plant, just in case it could prove useful later.
When I return, Jaken is sprawled in the grass just outside the cave, snoring. His dual-headed staff rests precariously upright against the cave mouth. I can easily see it falling on him...and as I consider this, I'm hit with the sudden mischievous urge to knock it down on him.
I snicker to myself and leave it be.
Rin is still curled up by Sesshomaru's side, sleeping yet again. Sesshomaru hasn't moved an inch since he placed her there when she first came down with a fever, the both of them reside in the far back of the cave. I suspect Sesshomaru chose that spot to keep Rin as far away from the rain as possible. I move to sit about halfway inside, wishing the walls were smooth enough for me to rest against. I'd use A-Un as a cushion except that the dragons appear to be sleeping. I'd be reluctant because of this anyway, but considering how little shut-eye I've seen them get since I started traveling along, I'm firmly resolved to let the beasts of burden sleep.
"Is that blood from your other hand?"
I pause, knees already bent to sit. I straighten and quietly reply, "No, this one's scratched up, too. I just can't tie a bandage with my non-dominant hand."
"I will tie it, then." Sesshomaru lifts his hand, waiting.
"Oh, it's fine," I assure him. I don't know whether I'm embarrassed or what when I shift my hand behind my back. "The scratches honestly aren't that deep."
"Is left hand in worse condition?"
"T-They're about the same...I just don't want to trouble you."
"I will tie it, in return for you helping Rin. I do not wish to be in your debt."
My heart sinks. "I'm not doing it expecting anything in return." Even more than that, though, I hardly deserve any gratitude after I wished, even for a single thought, that Rin…
But Sesshomaru continues to wait, hand outstretched, and eventually I cave. I rest my exposed hand in his and he takes a moment to inspect it. His skin is soft and cold as his fingers wrap around my hand, and I find myself wanting to grasp his hand and hold it. I resist.
"Let me see how you wrapped your left."
When I show him, I also open the wrapped palm to show him the herbs I collected and explain, "There's a leaf pressed against each side under the bandage. I heard somewhere it helps injuries heal faster."
He takes the leaves and sets them on his lap before ordering me to sit. I tuck my knees under me, hand still in his, and study him as he begins. I'm speechless when he leaves my hand to tear off part of his empty sleeve, coming away with a long silken strip with which he begins to bind my hand. He works slowly, slipping in the leafs and tightly wrapping the silk. Despite having only a single hand, his fingers move tactfully and efficiently, never fumbling once. I'm left in awe as he pulls the final knot.
"Is this sufficient?"
I turn over my hand, absorbing every inch of his work as I breathe, "Yes...thank you…" The silk, mostly white with a bit of red here and there, could very easily be being stained with blood on the inner layers, but what's visible looks like an expensive mitten, save for the indiscreet knot and my fingertips poking out. He ripped his sleeve for me. I could have just torn another strip off the bottom of my dress, I should have, but he ruined part of his outfit to make a bandage for my hand.
I sincerely hope Sesshomaru's vision is as hindered as mine is in the dimness, because my face feels as hot as the sun.
I return to where I was earlier, keeping my face averted just in case he can see. When I'm not out scavenging more food, I spend the rest of the day occupied by the silk around my right hand.
The clouds finally begin to disperse around sunset, and the next morning, I awake to find Rin gone. I nearly panic until Jaken informs me that girl woke up to the noise of her stomach, and went off in search of food. If her appetite has returned, then…
When Rin gets back, she lugs an armful of roots, mushrooms, and what look to be peaches! After reigning in my gawking at the familiar fruit, I ask if I can check her temperature.
Her fever's down. Maybe not entirely gone, she still feels slightly warm, but for all I know that could just be the normal body temperature of a child.
Rin and I feast. Jaken snatches a few mushrooms, and Rin feeds two of the precious peaches to A-Un, but other than that it's just the two of us that consume every last bite she's brought back. When Rin finishes, she sits back with a wide grin. I smile back, mentally kicking myself. She's such a sweet girl, friendly and outgoing. I'm glad she's better. It's definitely been ridiculous of me to dwell on one, tiny negative thought I had of her when I honestly do like her. Of course she's important to Sesshomaru. You can't help but care for her.
"Rin, do you still want to see Ren's art?"
I startle at the question, but Rin immediately gushes, "Yes!"
He looks to me.
"I-It's not that I don't want to show her, but I don't even know where Kaede's village is! Even if I knew where we are right now, I wouldn't be able to get us back."
"...Is that village where your art is at?" I nod. "Then we will go."
Sesshomaru stands and Rin begins to cheer. I don't know the way, but I suppose if Sesshomaru says we'll go, he'll find a way...besides, it might be nice to go back. I can grab that plant book, and assure Kaede I'm alright.
Oh. Kagome and her gang...they might be there. Now that I think about it, the last time I saw them, I was spirited away by Kagura, their enemy and underling of Naraku. Sure, it turned out fine...if you consider me nearly dying and having to endure days of agonizing recovery on my own in the wild as 'fine'...but they probably have no idea what happened to me. It might be a good idea to see them and let them know I'm alright, and even if they're not there, I can always leave the message with Kaede.
And so we set out. Rin continues to rest on A-Un, but her brightness is back, and she and I exchange small talk as we walk. When she asks about my hands, I tell her they got hurt while digging, and how I had to have Sesshomaru tie one of my hands because I couldn't. This causes her to beam.
"Lord Sesshomaru is so kind! I want to stay with him forever and ever!"
I clutch the silk-tied hand to my chest, smiling, and in a murmur not meant for ears, I agree, "Yeah, I do, too."
This chapter was actually completely unplanned. I'd thought they'd set out for Kaede's village at the beginning, but stuff just kept happening as I wrote, and then them setting out didn't happen until the end. I like it, though, so I'm glad it turned out this way. I gotta be honest, though. It's super hard writing Sesshomaru as a romantic interest. He tends to keep most thoughts in his head, and act without explanation, and that makes it difficult. So if you guys have any thoughts on how I've written him so far, and the (hopefully existent) chemistry between him and Ren, I would love to hear it. With that said, I will see you guys next chapter!