I floated weightless in an empty space. Meaningless noise echoed in the infinite darkness.
No, not meaningless noise. Voices. Thousands of voices speaking at the same time.
What were they saying? Straining myself to understand them, I slowly managed to filter out a single voice over the others.
It was a man. He spoke with great conviction, as if he was privy to an ancient truth, that nobody else could understand.

"It's all thanks to you... You are hope itself to us..."

It was Haiji's voice. He just kept repeating himself over and over again.

"You are hope itself to us. You are hope itself to us."
More and more voices joined him in a massive chorus.
"You are hope. You are hope! You are Hope!"

The black expanse I was floating in vanished and I suddenly found myself somewhere else.
It was an alley.
It was THE alley.

"You are hope!"
I blinked, suddenly the empty alley was filled with kids. They were wearing Monokuma helmets.
"You are Hope!"
In response to the loud chant, the kids huddled together in fear.
They knew what was about to happen.

"You are HOPE!"

The kids were helpless, unable to do anything to prevent their fate.

"HOPE!"

Suddenly, the chanting stopped. Then a girl's voice filled the silence.

"Hope isn't always a good thing."

The sound of shattered plastic filled the world.
A blinding explosion enveloped me for a second.
I drowned in a sea of blood.

I woke up screaming.
Gasping for breath, all I could perceive was the hammering of my own heart.
I held my shaking hands to my chest, but it took me a long time to gain some measure of control over my breathing. Wiping the sweat from my face, I tried to hold onto the fading remains of my nightmare, but all that remained of it was an unsettling dread. Despite that, I could tell that it must have been my worst nightmare in quite some time.
"Even when the kids were trying to kill me, did I not have any nightmares."
Although I had Toko with me then.

Still my sound sleeping had always been something that I had been able to hold over Makoto's head when we were younger.
The number of times he had sneaked into my room after having bad dreams, were my second favorite teasing material even years after he had stopped doing it.
"The best one will always be his bed-wetting though." I managed a small smile.

The thought of my brother's embarrassed face finally calmed me down completely. "I wonder what the dream was about? Although, it's not like I am short on nightmare fuel." It's more like I'll have enough for the rest of my life. Getting up from my bed I cringed at my clingy nightwear. "Ugh! I guess I'll need to use the shower after all." I threw a quick look into one of the cupboards to make sure that I would have something to change into, and made my way to the bathroom after I saw some skirts, shirts and cardigans as well as some underwear. I just hope they actually fit me.

I stripped out of my sweaty pajamas, ripped off the bandages that still covered my ribs and sighed in relief as I finally stepped under the hot shower.
As I cleaned myself, I couldn't help but think that this act, despite being completely ordinary, felt very odd after my time in Towa City.
The small tingle of darkness in the back of my mind threatened to rear it's head as my thoughts drifted to the ruined city, however the relaxing smell of my shampoo and the gentle sound of dripping water kept it at bay. This feels amazing. When I leave, I am really going to miss this.

After I was done, I gave a contented sigh and dried myself with one of the towels that hung next to the shower. Using it to cover myself for now, I picked up my nightwear off the ground and put it into the laundry chute I had seen yesterday. It was then that I noticed that what I had previously taken for some sort of kitchen elevator, was now open and inside were my clothes. They were completely spotless and a note was next to it "Laundry will always be clean the following morning"

The unexpected sight caused me to question the nature of my imprisonment.
"They actually cleaned my stuff for me? I thought it was gone for good. Why would they even go through all that trouble? Is this supposed to be an act of goodwill of something?"

The whole laundry setup seemed to be functioning and apparently willing to tend to my needs.
Was this supposed to make me unwilling to escape? All of this started to feel more like a vacation than forced captivity.
"They must really expect me to be here for a while though, huh?"
Now if I only knew, who "they" are... All I knew was that the long haired man had likely been the one to bring me here.

Not about to complain about reuniting with my beloved uniform though, I shook off my confusion. I quickly put it on, ignoring the slight shaking of my hands that had started as soon as they touched it. This was not the shaking of someone who was overcome by the emotion of reclaiming a beloved piece of their own identity however.
No, it was the darkness in the back of my mind reappearing once again. I bit my lip and forced myself to endure as my entire body seemed to become hyper-aware of the fabric on my skin. It felt drenched and sticky despite the cleaning it had undergone.

It's just your uniform Komaru, get over it!
But no matter how hard I clenched my teeth, the uncomfortable feeling wouldn't go away.
I couldn't handle this. Make it go away!
Moments away from ripping my clothes off, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
I looked normal. My pale face was the only thing that stood out to me as I looked at my reflection.
There was no red.
Just like that, the dark feelings faded and the comfortable smell of my freshly washed clothes enveloped me.
I am fine.

Repeating that to myself a couple of times, I scooped up the remains of the bandages that were still on the ground. Failing to spot a garbage can in the bathroom, I returned to the bedroom hoping that I had missed one in my brief investigation yesterday.
Soon enough I discovered that the bottom of the bed stand had a plaque signed "Disposal".
It could be opened up to reveal another chute just like the one in the bathroom. "Well, that's one thing taken care of."
After I threw the bandages away, I paused uncertain. What do I do now?

The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. Of course I knew what I should do now.
I had done it countless times before. Why was I hesitating now?

I looked at the door that I had yet to even check. The chance of it being open, let alone allow my escape without resistance was of course absolutely ridiculous. But still...
"I should at least try. Might as well hope for the best."

Hope. The word seemed to echo in my head, as if a crowd of voices had called out to me.
I went stiff, and the sudden tension made it feel as if I would be attacked at any moment.

"No... Why? Why does this keep happening?"
Why did I have all these stupid anxiety attacks now? After everything I had been through, I was supposed to be better than this. That's what Toko had always been upset about right? My endless whining when things got tough? I had left that behind me. I would not be that weak again!
"I'm okay... I'm fine." My cracking voice felt empty to my ears. "Nothing's wrong. Just...just keep going, like you always do!"

There are no problems.
Nothing is wrong here!

No, that won't help! It doesn't sound right...

I don't have a problem.
Nothing is wrong with me!

The cold metal of the door handle on my hand, brought me back to reality. "Huh?"

Once again, I had moved locations without ever realizing it.
Before me, was the door that would undoubtedly lead to freedom.
The door that I knew to be locked without ever having checked.
My hand didn't move. No matter how hard I envisioned my hand to fruitlessly turn the handle, or saw myself pull the door open despite my expectations, it didn't change a thing.
Despite the tears running down my face or the screams echoing in the back of my mind, I remained still.
My hand wouldn't move.

Only after I finally let go of the door handle, did my heartbeat finally slow down.
"I..." Wiping away the tears on my face, I wrestled for the words. "I'll check it later."
As soon as I stop shaking whenever I think about what happens if I leave.

It was okay to be a little scared.
I am fine.

I stepped away from the door and looked back at the room. Desperate for something to do, I walked into the recreational area. I hadn't investigated it yet after all.
My gaze quickly focused on something unusual lying on the sofa. It was a letter. Has that been here all this time? The thought caused me to feel a sudden spike of anger.
"Put that somewhere more obvious next time! Jeez..." My grumbling drowned out the rustling of the paper, as I raised the letter to my face.

Komaru Naegi,

You are in a safe location.
I provided you with sufficient nutrition to last until my return.
Use the available amenities at your leisure.

I blinked. A frustrated growl escaped me. "That's it? Come on, at least give me your name!"
Turning the letter around a couple of times to make sure I hadn't missed anything again, I concluded that my captor had indeed nothing else to say.
"Why bother with the letter, if you're not gonna tell me anything?"
Who calls food nutrition anyway?

The thought of eating, made me realize that I was actually quite hungry. I looked towards the food on the night stand. "Well, I guess it's snack time then."
Grabbing a manga on the way, I laid myself back on the bed and began reading and eating at the same time.
The letter did say to enjoy myself after all.

I would take a little break and then I would deal with everything else.

I had quickly established a routine.

I would wake up screaming, plagued by nightmares that I could never remember. Then I would take a shower, put on my freshly cleaned uniform and have my breakfast of sweetened water and granola bars.

Although that's only what they looked like, because they certainly tasted like...more.
They were absolutely delicious and, considering the wording of the letter, I could practically feel their "nutritional value" on my tongue.
They were also remarkably good at keeping hunger at bay.

Afterwards I would go to the door for my token attempt at opening the way outside.
I never managed more than to tighten my hand around the handle, but I liked to think that I was making progress regardless.
Besides, I wouldn't be able to open it anyway, so it was fine either way.

When I was done with that, I would cheer myself up with manga for a couple of hours, and then try my hand at breaking my record for looking at the city.
Currently, I estimated that record to be roughly 15 minutes, achieved by looking at the fringes of the city for most of the attempt before my gaze landed on Big Bang Monokuma, which always resulted in a panic attack.
I still counted it, because I had looked outside and that was the only rule I had set for myself.

I was making progress.
I would overcome this.
I was fine.

If I felt up to it, I would then make another attempt at the door, which always ended similarly to the morning. Afterwards I ended up spending the time with manga and games until dinner. When it got dark, I would challenge my record for looking at the city during the night, which always ended well since I couldn't see much of anything.

It still made me feel better every time.
After all, if something were wrong with me, I wouldn't be able to look at the city at all.
So I knew that I was fine.

On my fourth morning however my routine was finally broken.
I had just aborted my latest attempt at opening the door with a frustrated kick against the wood and was about halfway to the manga shelf, when the sound of knocking stopped me in my tracks.

Having spent several hours imagining the previously announced return of my captor, I had come up with a couple of ways that I could approach the situation.
Despite being strangely excited to meet the man in the suit, I needed to get answers from him.
In the end I decided to stick to the polite route for now, so I answered as calmly as I could.
"I'm decent, you can come in."

The door opened, but it wasn't the person I had been expecting.

The white haired, lanky frame of the young man, who had always simply called himself a servant, stood in the doorway with an overly friendly smile on his face.

"Why, hello there. It has been quite some time since we've last seen each other, hasn't it? Truly, I feel quite fortunate to have found you in this place. I hope you have been well."
Not waiting for my approval he stepped inside, closing the door softly behind him.

I didn't say anything. All I could do was stare behind him. Neither the rattling of keys nor the sound of any other obstructions being removed, had preceded the opening of the door. The door had been open all along. I could have left...

Since I stayed silent, the "servant" spoke in my place.
"I am very sorry for intruding like this, but we have some business to discuss."

I could have left.