Disclaimer: I do not own the Mario Franchise or the Bowsette character/concept.
Betaed by: Zim'smostloyalservant
Chapter 2
O.C.S.
Good Bad Help is Hard to Find
"It really is true, truck stop pancakes are the best pancakes!" Bowsette said, skewering a whole pancake on her fork and shoving it in her mouth. Naturally it sent syrup dripping down her chin, but experience had taught her to tuck a napkin into her cleavage for just that purpose.
Lamek was disappointed with how quickly he had gotten used to what should have been an odd sight.
They were in a typical Dark Land truck stop. The air was thick with the smell of greasy food, burned coffee, the boasts and grunts of Koopa truckers and the sweaty smell of lost tourists consulting road maps in corner booths. They sat at the bar, the Magikoopa and the loud hybrid woman in a gown more fitting a palace than this place.
Lamek pushed aside his own plate, having already finished his mushroom burger. It was lunch time, after all. The Queen of the Koopas had been eating pancakes for the last three days straight, just because she could.
"Your Majesty, we have been trucking, as you say it, for a week now," he pointed out.
"That's right — nothing but the open road, motels, and cheap great food with atmospheres so thick you could 'em cut with a baseball bat," she said cheerily, picking up her syrup-drenched plate to start licking it clean.
"Shouldn't we be getting to that big picture you were talking about?" he pressed.
"Hey, inspiration doesn't just strike like that," she protested snapping her fingers to demonstrate. "Besides, I was kind of just born or something. Why shouldn't I take some me time before getting to work on my career? And besides, Lamek, you can just read while I drive."
"Not with you blowing that horn every ten minutes."
"Pfft, your dad has more spine in his books than you do. Learn to multitask already. Take me for example — Bowser plots the downfall of the Mushroom Kingdom, but he can still take time to go-kart with his sworn foes and future bride," she said imperiously, holding up one finger and closing her eyes. Then she started licking her plate again.
Lamek pushed his glasses back up his beak and tried again.
"Listen, Your Majesty, I know you have no financial motive to get serious. And it's clear you don't value my well being, or your own image. But surely you see the need to get serious because…" Lamek appealed, trailing off. Bowsette looked up from her sparkling clean plate to glance at the Magikoopa inquiringly.
"You… have no reason to take this seriously," he mournfully concluded. Giving a cute little burp, Bowsette patted her stomach and pulled out the napkin to dab her lips.
"Pay the lady, Lamek. Once I get back from making a deposit, we're hitting the road," she declared, getting up from her stool.
Lamek sighed and took the bill from the purple perm-crowned waitress Koopa, and began to count out the coins from his purse. As he tapped his claws to the music from the jukebox, waiting for change, two hands slammed down on the counter next to him.
"Lamek!" Bowsette shouted.
"It's Lamek!" he protested without thinking.
"Never mind that, to the pay phones!" Bowsette decreed. Grabbing him by his robe collar, she pulled him along so swiftly he didn't touch the ground as she rushed out of the truck stop. The waitress watched them go, and pocketed Lamek's change.
X X X
Lamek was busy staring into space, regretting so much, as they stood on the parking lot sidewalk by the payphone. Which was also next to a vending machine, with Bowsette snacking on a bag of chips as she leaned on the phone cowl, holding the phone in her other hand.
"So there I was, almost walking into the wrong bathroom, when I realized, I couldn't go into both at once. And it occurs to me that no one expects you to be two places at once! Following me so far? Good.
"So then, everyone thinks I'm still just you with the Super Crown on, right? So if Mario is chasing me, he won't suspect you're lying in wait, ready to strike the Mushroom Kingdom. The plan is, I attack, conquer, whatever, some kingdom faraway. Mario comes to try and stop me, thinking I'm you. With him gone, Peach will be defenseless so you can kidnap her, marry her, she'll see how awesome you are, and you two can live happily ever after. And Mario, dealing with me not realizing I'm not you, will lose because I'm not you. He'll never suspect. You get Peach, and I'll be hailed as the greatest villain the world has ever known. Bwahahahahahahaha!
"Heh, I knew you'd like it. Yes, yes, it is the perfect plan, isn't it? When? Er, I'll get back to you on that," Bowsette's chortling demeanor died as she was caught in her lack of preparation. Slamming the phone back into the cradle, she wheeled on Lamek, pointing dramatically.
"We need minions!"
X X X
"OCS?" Bowsette asked. The two were sitting in a corner booth in the truck stop, Lamek handing her a flyer.
"O.C.S. — Organized Criminal Services. They're a headhunter group for minions and such. We pay them and they round up minions in the number we want and our budget can afford for us to hire or reject," Lamek explained.
"Man, when I was Bowser I never had to go through all this," she grumbled.
"Because you inherited everything after winning a wrestling match."
"Yeah, it was a kickass Rumble," Bowsette mused, patting one of her biceps.
"Anyway, before we register with them, we should go over our assets. For personnel, it's just the two of us."
"And I am awesome," Bowsette slipped in.
"Right. And then we have your queenly stipend. And a semi-truck, that is full of your wardrobe."
"And assorted ladies stuff," she piped up.
"And, that. So that's what we have to work with going in."
"Well, there's also the flying fortress," Bowsette said, squinting as she tried to read the fine print on an artificial sweetener packet.
"Yes, tha-… What flying fortress?" Lamek asked, looking up from his clipboard.
The next day:
Bowsette stepped up to the door to the Size Epic storage unit and knelt down to grab the handle. Putting her legs into it, she jerked the door upward and sent the massive metal curtain door rising up with a flurry of clanks. Sunlight across the storage facility now entered the hangar-like unit, revealing a massive, rotored air vehicle, green in color, with its front painted to style a crocodile head, baring teeth.
"Where did this come from?" Lamek asked, head tilted up, taking it in.
"Bowser bought it off some loser Croc king who was having a bankruptcy sale. I got it that first night. While Kamek did his nerd stuff, me and Bowser stayed up late and played some Uno. We made it interesting with a little wager — I bet the last slice of pizza, he bet this old thing," Bowsette said.
"…Well, this is quite an asset," Lamek admitted as they walked into the unit.
"Maybe. It's been in there sitting for, what, three years? I mean, it will probably take a team of mechanics days just to see if it's skyworthy, then who knows how long before it can be up to snuff, and Bowser never really looked it over, so who knows if the Croc didn't take a bunch of stuff to parcel out or just poorly maintained it?"
Lamek stood stunned by the reasonable comment as Bowsette walked up and rapped a knuckle on the deflated tire of the ship's landing gear.
"You know stuff?" Lamek let slip.
"No, I know cool stuff," Bowsette clarified puffing out her chest in pride.
Five Days Later, The Unstoppable Turtle Hotel, Shells City:
Lamek checked his look, clipping a yellow bowtie onto his collar, looking into the mirror of the bathroom. It was his usual outfit recently pressed, his hat freshly washed, and his glasses back from the cleaner. Add the tie, and he thought he looked quite ready to take on anything.
"You're spiffy enough!" Bowsette declared, grabbing him by the scruff and tossing him out of the bed-haired Bowsette in a black nightgown pulled a rack of gowns, all in dark colors, and a suitcase labeled "cosmetics" in. Slamming the door shut on Lamek, she set to work while Lamek sighed.
"Just be ready by the time it's interview time for the forepeople. I'll handle the mass issue minions," he said.
"Yeah, whatever, I'll be done by the time you get to something important," she said. With a rev, something sounding like a belt sander came on, and Lamek made an exit.
X X X
"Testing, testing, four, five, and six. Good," Lamek said, tapping the microphone. Clearing his throat, he started to address the crowd.
"Thank you all for coming today, to this vague endeavor for uncertain goals from a client who wants to not disclose much for dramatic reasons," Lamek said, speaking into a mike as he stood at a podium addressing a crowd of Koopas, Goombas, Shy Guys, and the odd Thwomp. They filled up the hotel banquet hall, milling about and eating the last of the complimentary continental breakfast.
No Bob-ombs, though — the hotel had won that lawsuit, and the combustible ones were banned from the grounds. They'd just have to hold a separate job fair for them at an outdoor venue later.
"Now, if you will form into groups of five based on your category and form a single line…" he said, indicating to the one and only interview station.
A Long Time Later:
Willing his soul to not leave his body, Lamek crossed a final T on the personnel file and slumped back in the metal fold-out chair. His shell clanged, rousing him a bit. A stack of filled-out forms taller than he was was picked up by a rat man wearing an OCS uniform, taking them off to be filed.
"The higher-up position interviews will begin in one hour," the rat man said, hidden behind the stack. Checking his pocket watch, Lamek got up, popping his joints and making his way up to the room.
"Your Majesty, are you ready yet?" he asked opening the door. Only to see a snarling Bowsette in a gown sprawled across the couch with a wrestling magazine covering her face as she snored and mumbled.
"Smash Mario. Rahanaaana. Sssstupid plumber. Rhanaaaa- Wha!?" she muttered, as Lamek smacked her on top of the head with his wand.
"Time to build your empire," he told her, defusing the fireball in her mouth. She grinned, letting the smoke leak through her fangs.
The smoke, fangs, and flexing muscles, he had to admit, made an oddly intimating contrast with the sparkle she had given herself for the occasion.
X X X
Bowsette took her seat in a folding chair dramatically, put on a trucker hat reading BOSS, and clicked a pen.
"Let's begin," she growled. Lamek pressed an intercom button on the foldout table they were using.
"Number one," he spoke into it.
X X X
The two looked up from the resumes they were holding, exchanged glances, and shook their heads at the single Goomba wearing a cowboy hat before them.
"Not enough teamwork."
"Number 2!"
X X X
What was clearly at least four Shy Guys inside a trenchcoat stood before them.
"Too much teamwork!"
"Number 3."
X X X
Lamek pushed his glasses up his beak, looking over the papers thoughtfully.
"He's got impressive references," Lamek admitted. Bowsette nodded, taking a sip of water from her paper cup.
"Yeah, but he's so… prickly," Bowsette said, waving for the word.
"Right, it really doesn't fit the workplace culture we want. Sorry, better luck elsewhere," Lamek said to the potted cactus wearing a red tie.
X X X
"I am Shellhead!" a Toad wearing biker clothes who had styled his mushroom cap to look like a Koopa shell yelled.
"Wha?" Bowsette asked, tilting her head.
"I believe our sign says Toads need not apply," Lamek said.
"I'm not a Toad, I'm a Koopa on the inside!" Shellhead insisted.
"Uhhhh," Bowsette said.
"Oh, we don't have time for this, GOAWAYICUS!" he shouted, zapping the applicant out of sight.
X X X
"I am Courageous Koopa! Daring darer of the skies and bastion of honor amongst my malicious kin!" a winged Koopa with a red scarf and red pompadour said. He threw his scarf over his shoulder dramatically, with it somehow catching and blowing majestically in the wind, despite them being indoors.
"You do realize 'we' are your malicious kin," Bowsette said, pointing with a pen.
"Are you sure you have the right building?" Lamek asked.
"Yes! One does not just idly turn one's face. First I must be involved with an evil scheme. Then either be moved by the valor of the heroes or disgusted by evil employers to change sides at the dramatic moment to turn the tide. Usually releasing a prisoner, or sneakily handing them the perfect power-up to turn things around, or something. But until then, you will find me far more capable than your other minions, setting me up for protagonist level competence later."
BOOM
He fell onto his shell dramatically, charred by the fireball.
"That hairstyle is unforgivable. Next!" Bowsette called, smoke trailing from the corner of her mouth.
X X X
"Dr. Nitro! If it can be made, I can make it explode!" said an older Koopa with a few tufts of white hair, a lab coat, goggles covering his eyes, and a shell bolted together over cracks.
"Promising," Bowesette nodded.
The doctor smiled and poured himself a cup of water. It exploded.
"Next!" Lamek called.
X X X
"Hmm, interesting," Bowsette said, leaning across the table, squinting down at the applicant.
"Your application is quite unique," the Koopa Queen remarked, smiling.
"Uh, I think I may have the wrong room. I was applying for being a tax auditor," the Koopa in a suit and tie said, tugging nervously on the tie.
"Taxes? Now that's evil. I like the cut of your jib… Larry. You're hired," Bowsette declared.
"Well, it could be worse," Lamek said, stamping the application with the magical employment seal.
Larry gulped.
X X X
"I am Shellhead!"
"Go away!" Bowsette commanded.
X X X
"I am Shell!" a brawny, wide-faced Koopa with a short black mohawk declared, hitting his chest with a fist.
"So we see," Lamek remarked, looking over his application, "That might explain why you answered every question on the form with 'I am Shell'."
"Really? Dang, he did worse than me on a job application form," Bowsette whistled, leaning over to look at the form.
"Hahahaha! That's because you need to know only two things. I am Shell!"
…
…
"And I am tough!" Shell declared. Reaching into the duffle bag he had brought with him, he pulled out a baseball bat. And hit himself in the face with it. Then a second time, breaking it. Still he stood, undaunted.
"Is that all?" Bowsette huffed.
Shell pulled out three bowling balls and started juggling them. Sending all three raining down on his head, they bounced off his head and dented the floor. Yet he stood, undaunted.
"Is that all?"
Lamek squeaked as Shell lit a stick of dynamite then withdrew into his shell with it.
BOOM
Fire erupted from the shell. And Shell emerged to stand undaunted.
"*Yawn* Is that all?" Bowsette asked.
Outside:
Lamek and Bowsette stood in the back parking lot, looking up toward the roof of the hotel.
" I AMMMM SHEELLLLL!" Shell roared, plummeting down toward them head first. Pavement rippled, buckled, and broke under the impact. Lamek was sent tumbling back along with many cars, and Bowsette put a hand to her hat to keep it in place.
As the dust cleared, she watched as Shell stood in the crater, undaunted… Then, with a sound like an un-oiled door, he fell over, still holding his triumphant pose. There he laid. Daunted.
"Okay, you're hired!" Bowsette said, scribbling the news on a sticky note and pasting it to his forehead.
"What if he's dead, Your Highness?" Lamek asked, dusting himself off.
"Well, then he won't need a job, will he?" Bowsette pointed out, holding up her skirt as she delicately walked back through the wrecked parking lot.
X X X
"I'm Anger Koopa, and this my twin Rage Koopa. And you can send those losers behind us home, because we are the best of the lot bar none," the redheaded Koopa declared with a fangy grin. She was a Koopa with some human ancestry, that was clear from a look. The rare kind that had the additional height and the human shape to the body wrapped up in a Koopa package. Specifically, she had the figure of a trim young woman, with long red hair worn in rock 'n roll style, complete with red eyeshadow under her blue eyes. She had a good amount of muscle tone too, Bowsette noted, as Anger flexed her free arm, displaying just that.
Tucked under the other arm was a blue Koopa shell with twin red eyes visible looking out the headhole.
"Okay then," Lamek said skeptically, "What do you want out of this position?"
"Money and fame. Power too! I'd like to get my claws on some magic. The badass kind, not the kind you go to college to get. And the money, you can get a lot with money. And I want to be a star, people looking and saying that's me. Posters across rooms, magazine covers. Guys dreaming about me! I want the full package, and I'm ready to kick butt to get it!" Anger said, punching at the air like a boxer with her one free fist.
"Hmm. And you?" Bowsette asked, pointing her pen at the shell-dwelling Koopa. She also noticed Anger had a red shell.
"Yawn, my rage knows no bounds and my fury will freeze even mighty foes where they stand," Rage answered, so softly Bowsette and Lamek both had to lean forward.
"She has ice powers. And I have fire powers. We're a combo deal. But just because she's not just as awesome as I am doesn't mean she isn't great. We hatched from the same egg, after all. Freaked our parents out!" Anger said, holding the blue shell up like a trophy.
"Does she come out?" Lamek asked.
"Yes," Rage said, popping out of her shell. She waved lazily with one hand, still held up by her twin's hand pressed into her stomach. She seemed a bit slimmer than Anger, but a bit more curvy. Her hair was blue and cut in a pixie style. Her red eyes were half-lidded, like she was about to nod off.
"So, anything other than ice powers?" Bowsette asked. Rage flexed her tail, which Bowsette whistled at; it was much bigger than your average Koopa tail, almost as big as hers. It lacked spikes, but it started to glow with blue magic.
"I am a master of in-shell combat. I can propel myself with only my tail and freeze my foe without emerging from my shell."
"Mhm, and what is your goal in this organization?" Lamek asked.
"I have long desired King Bowser. I will prove myself greater wife material for the great and sexy Koopa King by defeating his foes, and showing up that spoiled royal Peach. I will marry him, lay many eggs, and our children shall conquer the world between them. And a beach house on Koopa Troopa Beach. That would be very nice," Rage said, with her same spacey tone. Anger coughed, seeming a bit embarrassed as she put her sister down on her feet.
"Uhhh," Lamek stuttered.
"Good beachfront property is hard to get," Bowsette agreed. Lamek nearly fell out of his chair whirling to look at her.
"You know, for twins, you don't really look alike?" Lamek remarked. They didn't have the common Koopa beaks; like the royal family, their faces were more crocodilian.
"What are you talking about, my hair matches her eyes," Anger said, pointing to her hair.
"And my eyes match her hair," Rage said, pointing at Anger's hair.
"Wow, you can hardly tell them apart. Lamek, we may need name tags, because these two are hired! Fire the rest, we're done here!" Bowsette decreed, kicking the table over.
"You can't fire someone you haven't hired, Your Majesty," Lamek pointed out
"I just did! Bwahahaha!" Bowsette cackled.
The Next Day:
"How could you not hire one engineer, or mechanic, or even an electrician!?" Bowsette ranted as she and Lamek walked down a metal-laden corridor of the sky fortress. They turned a corner to see a Koopa Troopa being electrocuted via his wrench. Bowsette whacked him clear with her tail as she passed, still fuming.
"I don't know. Isn't messing up on common sense your role?" Lamek asked.
"I know! You're supposed to be the suffering nerd to my too-awesome-to-care coolness who takes care of petty details like that. Don't mess up the dynamic!" Bowsette griped as they got to the bridge. Anger was kneeling in front of a floor panel, doing something with cables, while Rage sat by her, holding a toolbox.
"It's a mess. It's like an insane crocodile got drunk and designed it!" Anger declared.
"That's probably it. But we just need it to fly, not do tricks," Bowsette huffed.
"Does exploding count as a trick?" Rage asked.
Somewhere, something went boom in the ship. Bowsette face-palmed and gratefully accepted a cup of coffee offered by Shellhead. Then she spat out the coffee in surprise.
"You don't work here!" she screamed at Shellhead, and kicked him across the room. He smacked into the viewport, which didn't even crack.
"Well, at least that works," Lamek said, noting it on his clipboard.
"You're just lucky we used to be pilots boss," Anger remarked as she pulled an ancient-looking half-eaten sandwich out of the wiring.
"This could take awhile," Rage commented as the sandwich sprouted legs and attacked Lamek.
One Costly Overhaul Later:
"I can't believe I had to sell my truck!" Bowsette pouted as she and Lamek got out of the cab and walked across the pavement to the hangar.
"Well, it was either that or wait two weeks for your next stipend from the treasury. Besides, what do you need a semi for when you have a giant airship?" Lamek asked.
"You're just a guy who doesn't get why semis are awesome," Bowsette pouted further, crossing her arms and sticking out her lower lip.
"And you're impatient, Your Majesty. Anyway, that electrician we hired says it should be ready to fly. And if it doesn't it probably won't explode unless a hero starts breaking stuff. So all that's left is the paint job, which should be just about done," Lamek said, going through the paper on his clipboard.
"What the heck!?" Bowsette shouted as they entered the hangar and saw the sky fortress. The painting seemed to be done. Unfortunately.
The body of the vessel had been modified with extra armor in the shape of a spiked Koopa shell. That was fine. But the head part…
"I do not look like that!" Bowsette screamed, sparks flying from her fangs.
"Er," Lamek slipped. Usually, he knew situations like this had the likeness be accurate and the villain was angry because of denial over their unattractiveness. But while Bowsette was quite beautiful, for a hybrid, the head of their ship…
Well for one, it was still gator-shaped, so there was that. Also the coloring was clearly done with some kind of industrial scale spray paint with the lines being uneven. And it might have been they decided to try and make the expression angry as it was a warship? So yeah, it was a bit scary, but more in the fact they paid for it than intimidation. But he had seen the budget, and any delays would likely find ways for her to cause more trouble.
"Well, think of it this way. When people see that, and see you, you will look even more beautiful by comparison," he said, thinking fast.
Bowsette stopped, holding two fireballs in her hands. Looking thoughtful, she clenched her fists, putting the fire out.
"You're right. This abomination shall only serve to enhance my beauty when I emerge from it to wreck people! It's brilliant! Tell everyone I planned it that away! Bwahahaha!"
X X X
Bowsette took her seat in the bridge room throne, and fixed a black and gold captain's cap on her head, adorned with a gold Koopa skull Jolly Roger. Lamek stood beside her, and the strangely dual pilot stations were manned by Rage and Anger. The twins claimed experience in piloting weird stuff, and that was good enough for her. Lesser Koopas and a few Shy Guys hovered around the bridge, tending to stations whose function Bowsette had not concerned herself with.
She watched as Shell pushed the hangar doors open, running briskly after the first to get back to the center and repeat the process.
"Begin launch sequence! It's time for me to rise in glory! Bwahhahaha!" Bowsette cackled, throwing her hands wide and accidentally smacking Lamek in the nose.
18 Minutes Later:
Bowsette looked up from her Go-Kart All Stars Book with irritation, her tail tapping against the floor panels.
"Now?" she asked. Lamek sighed at the repeated question.
"Yes," Rage answered, pulling a lever.
"Really?!" Bowsette cheered, standing up, beaming.
"Engine's warmed up, turbines and rotors prepped. All personnel secured land side and aboard. All systems green as a Koopa shell!" Anger supplied, flicking switches and checking readouts.
"Alright! The Queen's Pride is ready to take the skies by storm! Onward, up, up and away!" Bowsette cheered, pumping one fist after another.
Slowly, quite slowly, the ship rolled clear of the hangar, and paused, the engines audibly growing stronger. Lamek lifted an eyebrow, as Bowsette kept pumping her fists, looking stubbornly determined. Finally, the sky fortress lifted off into the sky.
"Bwahaha!" Bowsette cheered, taking a small jump in joy as the ground receded in the viewports to reveal open skies.
"Nothing stands in our way now!" she declared, cackling maniacally and grabbing a standard Koopa to dance a quick little dance with before sending him off in a spin, yelling in panic.
"Right, so where are we going?" Anger asked, glancing back.
"…" the Queen's smile suddenly looked quite frail as her eye twitched.
X X X
BEEP BEEP BEEP
The Queen's Pride made the standard noise as it backed up into the hangar. A Koopa janitor watched the mighty vessel's undignified retreat and scratched his head under his cap at the ugly head. Shrugging, he pushed his bucket of brooms onward.
X X X
In her hangar office, Bowsette sat sprawled at her desk. Lamek tried not to look, as it seemed like at any moment parts of her would spill out of her gown in that position. He had just finished setting up a map of the known world on a board across from her.
"Okay then. So what would you like to conquer?" he asked politely.
"Rekhmafrackin," she grumbled, not even looking up.
"Well, how about we start with what you know?" Lamek suggested. That got her to peel herself partially off the desk, looking thoughtful. After a few moments of thinking, her expression lit up.
"Hmm, I got it!" Bowsette declared, springing to her feet and punching her palm.
"You'll never do anything with a five when it can be a ten, will you?" Lamek muttered as she cackled.
"I know how to invade the Mushroom Kingdom. We'll do that and kidnap Peach!" she declared, stabbing the Mushroom Kingdom space on the map with her index finger.
"Firstly, hasn't that been done many times?" Lamek pointed out.
"Exactly. Mario will never see that coming, this time," Bowsette declared, wringing her hands menacingly while grinning.
"Hasn't it always failed?" he pressed,
"It worked fine until it didn't!" Bowsette defended, looming over him.
"And wasn't the so-called Big Plan to draw Mario away from the Mushroom Kingdom, all so Bowser could kidnap Peach instead?" Lamek reminded her.
"…Darn it! I have been thwarted by my own brilliance," Bowsette pouted, sitting back down.
"Maybe we should start small? Manageable acts of evil, like bank robbery or real estate scams? I have heard good things about bad time shares whose values don't actually increase over time," he suggested.
"Ahhh, but I'm Queen Bowsette. There's nothing small about me, and I don't do anything small," she whined.
"Well, if you want this to work-"
"Your plan is bad, deal with it! I'm going to make a deposit in the little queen's room. Come up with something better by the time I get back. Don't make me start an opinion poll with the minions, Lamek," she ordered, grabbing the newspaper and swooping through the door labeled with the Super Crown.
Lamek sighed.
Sooner than expected, Lamek heard a flush, and Bowsette burst back into the office, toilet paper trailing from her left shoe.
"I've got it! Hats!" Bowsette declared, holding up the front page. 'LEGENDARY LAND OF HATS DISCOVERED! No relation to Cappy' it read, showing an island country divided into six provinces below the headline.
"The long-rumored land where magical hat magic first originated has been found. A civilization based around haberdashery! Can you believe it?!" she asked Lamek, shoving the paper in his face.
"I can't believe you know the word haberdashery."
"It's perfect — not only is it far enough away from the Mushroom Kingdom to lure Mario away, but as I was born from a magical hat and Bowser's most awesome qualities, so shall my star of villainy arise in the Land of Hats. It's thematically brilliant!"
"But starting small…" Lamek objected.
"Gather intelligence! Formulate a plan for my glorious conquest! I need to read this article and prepare a speed to my army! Bwahahaha!" Bowsette said, bursting back into the Queen's room to read.
"Hmm, make your strategy, eh?" Lamek muttered, rubbing his chin. A smile spread across his beak, and he pushed his glasses back up to his eyes.
Author's Note:
Well there you have it another chapter in the story of the Queen's rise. She has the army she has the awesome prop from another franchise, and she has a bunch of O.C.S. originated bosses to do her will!
And now she has a target! Can anything stop her downpour of evil upon an unsuspecting land of hats!?
FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER OF ASCENSION OF THE QUEEN!