Thank you for reading. We are still in Mikasa's flashback, but hopefully soon we can make it to the present. I find it hard though because I want to develop their relationship more, but it is important to get there. Anyways here's the story enjoy. Also I saw that the original italics were making it confusing so I removed them.
At first she expected it to only go one for a few weeks, weeks turned into months and still they were inseparable. Mikasa and Levi became closer than she had ever hoped. It was codependency that crippled her thoughts each night because the end result would not end well for either of them. Initially she had suspected that this relationship would be a sex-only type of affair. And that it would cease to exist as soon as they could no longer stand each other. Each night and each orgasm only made her become more attached to the man she had once hated. In a way it was nice to have the rush of love coursing through her veins, but this was not a good idea in the long run. She knew that any feelings that may result from their fucking would just have to be put aside, ignored or killed. For the longest time she refused to acknowledge the very real emotions she had developed, choosing instead to try to wean herself from him. This task was not something she had success in. As every invitation or seduction would result in her giving in entirely, he wouldn't even have try one bit to convince her. However one could not escape the truth of their realities as soldiers (not just regular soldier's some of humanity's strongest), they could never be together. Especially not in the way she found herself more frequently dreaming about. Their life as soldiers would never allow them to live in a way that would be remotely either one left it would be a major loss to the Corps, never mind if they both left. It was a tragedy but it was their reality. Their selfishness could severely impact their friends and comrades, so running away was never a viable option
It scared her how much she needed him, days that were spent apart only tore holes into her heart. Likewise the man could never get enough of her. Always asking her to stay later, or frequently dragging her into his room for some late night fun. Although Mikasa refused to admit it, she found herself falling deeper and deeper into a hole that she knew could never be real. As her feelings became more intense the longer they continued their arrangement. She came to the conclusion, that she would be with him as long as he would let her. The constant threat of death made each moment spent with one another more special than the last. She would protect him, she would love him, and she would trust him until he gave her a reason not to.
Soon Erwin returned back as Commander, and effectively relieved Levi and Hanji from his position. Levi made something up about still needing Mikasa's assistance, and somehow he got it approved. Mikasa would no longer assist on a daily basis however, instead it was more of a weekly thing since Levi did not have nearly as much workload as before. Still she appreciated the lengths he went to in order to keep her near him, but the end result would be that they could no longer spend the same amount of time together. Before they could use the excuse that they were working on reports or paperwork, as the reason for her staying up so late and missing her training (although Levi trained her in other ways). It was not like they could make their relationship known to all of the Corps. It was highly inappropriate and it could result on some major backlash, for both of them. A high ranking officer was not supposed to be involved with a mere cadet, much less one that was supposed to be his assistant. That was not to say that it hadn't happened before in the Corps, but even those times had resulted in serious repercussions for the parties involved. If she had learned anything, the Corps was always looking for the next scandal, like vultures looking for their next meal. She could deal with the fallouts, or at least she thought she would be able to. On the other hand she would never be able to forgive herself for what such gossip would do to Levi. The last thing she ever wanted was to be a smear on his prestigious name. Instead Mikasa had realistic expectations for what this relationship could result in. She never bombarded him with ultimatums or threats because she knew that his hands were tied. Levi like her could not do with his life as he wanted. They never spoke about revealing this thing that they were doing, because it had no point; But as the months progressed it became harder for them to deny that it was not becoming more serious.
Mikasa returned to her previous life as a soldier, but deep down she feared that this separation could result in the loss of her Captain. It was a paranoid thought with little to no basis, but after Eren withdrawn attitude towards her feared the worst. Levi was one to withdraw and retreat into himself. After all these months she and him had come a long way, and she would be damned if he was going to hide himself from her. The captain surprised her by becoming more and more affectionate. At times even in front of other comrades.
After months of basically being separated from her friends, it was nice to be back with them. Yes, she loved spending time with the Captain but she had missed her friends in that time. Now that she was back with her crew, the familiarity of home came back to her. They all were delighted to have her back, specially Jean. She knew of the poor boy's feelings, but after Levi she knew that it would never happen. Jean loved her in a way that she was all to familiar with, as she too faced the same unrequited love that he felt. Sure she was fucking the man she loved every other night but the insecurity inside her only pushed her to believe that it was only until he got tired of her. She never accused him of that but it was fear that she hoped would never become a reality.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Mikasa slammed the door shut, and threw her jacket onto the floor in frustration. But the stubborn brute would not even dare to look her way, instead he kept walking into his bedroom.
Mikasa huffed and clenched her fists in frustration, Levi could be such a passive aggressive asshole when he wanted to be. "You know exactly what I mean." She could barely hear him from the other room. It was a good thing that his apartment resided on one of the empty sections of the Castle. Otherwise their constant bickering or their loud sex would have given them away to the entire corps long ago. It was not the biggest of apartments, but it was at least five times bigger than her room. When you walked in there was a small kitchen on the left and in front was a living room (which almost no other soldiers had), then past the kitchen was his bedroom and his private bathroom.
She threw her hands up at the air trying to decipher the meaning behind his words. "I don't know what you mean," she ran into his room planning to give him a piece of her mind. Her hand pushed the door open to reveal him in halfway undressed. Still he proceeded to take off his belt not even acknowledging her presence. "Hey I'm talking to you." Mikasa walked up to him.
"Why don't you go talk to Jean or maybe Eren." Levi pulled off his boots carefully putting them aside by the bed. "Maybe they can be of better company." Mikasa could barely even recognize the words.
"Excuse me?" She was shocked at such request, this was definitely not like him at all. "What exactly is that supposed to mean."
"I saw you tonight" his blue eyes still looking in another direction.
"And what exactly did you see?" Before he could answer she just had to ask the question that her brain kept wanting to ask. "Are you… Are you Jealous or something." A small grin appearing on her mouth, just the thought a grown man like Levi would ever be jealous of two boys made her laugh.
"Ha, jealous of those two." Levi gave a fake laugh. "Never."
"Then I don't understand what exactly is the issue here." Mikasa was both confused and completely taken aback by her Captain's reaction. She tried to think back to what they had been previously doing. As far she knew it was a pretty normal day, she ate lunch, went on a small hike with Sasha, and then did some training with Armin, Eren and Jean. It was nothing out of the ordinary. "Did I do something to piss you off?"
Levi looked quite annoyed at this point, and he looked up at her with glare. Those blue eyes could have pierced holes in her with the anger they possessed. "How about not letting other guys touch you, that aren't me."
So he was jealous, "It was training. If anything I won most of those matches so they barely even touched me." Mikasa tried to bite back the laughter that was rising in the pit of her gut. This was ridiculous, Levi didn't have any reason to be mad at her. Much less because of Jean and Eren. It was too much and she let out a small chuckle.
"Didn't look like much training, especially with the way that they were both looking at you."
"That might be because you are a perv." She paused trying not laugh. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe they were looking at me because were all trying to beat each other. I know that you know how fights go you need to be able to see your opponent, so don't try to pin some fantasy up like a reality Levi"
"You think my fantasy is to see you get fucked by other men?" Levi finally walked towards her, shirtless, and hunger looming in his eyes. "Mikasa Ackerman you are mine, and mine only." As he came closer Mikasa took some steps back until she hit a wall, but he kept walking and cornering her until she only faced him. She was pinned between his body and the wall. "Nobody gets to touch my girlfriend except for me" He hand moved onto her hip and up her side, but she could barely even feel it. The moment he had said girlfriend, her heart skipped a beat and she felt like she could not breathe. So It wasn't just sex to him, it was more than that. Mikasa armed reached for his neck pulling him towards her lips. It was soft at first but became needier with each passing moment. For a brief moment she contemplated never letting him go, but she needed to know if it wasn't all just in her head.
"Did you say girlfriend?" Mikasa barely uttered as she tried to make out the words. She felt as his hold briefly released her and his lips moved away.
He looked back at her with bewilderment, as if he could not form the words. Confusion was all that Mikasa could gather. "Yes?" He looked hurt for a bit, "Isn't that what we are doing here, babe. Building a relationship?"
"I thought that it wasn't what you wanted… A serious relationship, that is." her words were soft but uncertain. It wouldn't have killed her if her asserted that he was only in it for the sex, it would have hurt, but she could live with it. However she would be ecstatic if he finally gave her the answer she desired.
"Mikasa, I love you more than anything else I have loved in this world," Mikasa nearly choked, she wasn't expecting that. Never in her dreams would she have expected that. Levi loved her, and he was practically confessing it to her.
"I…" words were to hard for her to make out at the moment.
"That might have been to rash," Levi pushed his hair back from his face. "I haven't said it but I can't deny that it is true, and its been true for sometime now."
"I…" again the words were caught in her throat.
"It's okay if you don't feel the same way. I understand that its a lot to take in at once but-"
"-Levi please shut up." She rushed to him, and pushed him down onto the bed. Her lips landing a firm kiss on his before she said "I love you too. But you can be a real ass sometimes."