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Summary: In which the Tokyo police department get the reports from Solitary.
Tokyo MPD - 3.54 pm
"They took their time sending it over," Aoko's father says when she returns to division two. She, Hakuba and Ran had left for lunch after Ran's stomach had started to growl, and after deciding on tempura, they'd left the busy police station behind. "But here are the reports from solitary. I printed copies for you."
Her father doesn't hand them to her, but rather to Hakuba and while it irritates Aoko that he's trusting the teenager who dragged Kaito away over her, she doesn't say anything.
Maybe because she knows it useless. It's not like her father thinks she can find KID - she'd not known even when she'd been standing next to him.
Aoko shakes her head, and perches on the chair beside Ran.
"Aoko wants to read Kaito's first," she says, glancing at Hakuba. "Before either Hakuba or Ran-chan reads it."
It's a selfish request, she knows, but out of the three of them, she feels like she's the one entitled to know what happened to him. Hakuba hesitates - clearly he wants to read them before the girls, wants to be the first one to know everything, how utterly like him. But he doesn't hold onto the papers when Ran flicks through the pages, tugs papers from his fingers.
"Ran-san…" Hakuba says, but Ran doesn't offer an explanation to him, simply placing the papers down in front of Aoko, offering a smile.
"We'll look over Shinichi's reports," Ran says, "you read over Kuroba-kun's, and we'll swap in a minute, okay?"
Aoko mouths 'thank you' before looking down at the papers. There aren't that many pages, no more than ten, and one glance at Kudo's tells her that the ex-detective had gotten into far more trouble than Kaito had. (Either that, or time is a large factor. Aoko isn't actually that sure.)
She decides not to spare the amount of pages any additional though, and instead, leans forward, both elbows on the desk, immersing herself in Kaito's report.
Incident report - Prisoner 093253
The inmate was found attempting to escape in the gatehouse at approx. 2350.
Initial period of two days in solitary confinement has been issued by Guard: XXXX
Somehow, Aoko isn't surprised about this incident. It's kind of… expected when it comes to Kaito - he's not the type of person who's taken much notice of the rules. It's expected of KID too, the escape artist that he is, who wouldn't suspect him of trying to scheme his way out of prison.
This report, she skims over with only mild interest. It's more technical than she'd expected, and Kaito doesn't really do anything over the days. The reports did say that he was electrocuted though, but the guard who had caught him, so she suspects that he'd probably be quieter. He always did seem to be less outrageous whenever he was sick, recovering from flus and any other illnesses he'd had.
She turns the page, glances over the next incident - there are only two, if the markings (2/2) mean anything - and takes a deep breath.
Inmate was issued three days of solitary confinement following an outburst within visiting room A.
It's not until she sees some of the transcribed outbursts he'd made that Aoko remembers to breathe again. She shudders, choppy breaths hitched as she glances over claims of innocence and death penalties and-
Aoko turns the page. She can't keep reading Kaito's words - they echo in her head, Kaito's voice ringing out, sounding vaguely similar to the way he'd cried alongside her when his father had died. The next page is less painful to read over.
Well, the first half of his second visit to solitary confinement isn't painful. He's mostly quiet, there aren't many notes written down. From the looks of the pages, he's a perfect inmate, well behaved when he's sat inside his cell.
It doesn't seem very much like Kaito, for the first three days of solitary. He's never been well behaved. Ever since they'd first met beneath the clocktower, Kaito had been pulling pranks and creating trouble. Never once has Aoko seen him play by the rules; he's always had a passion for standing out, not fitting in.
Aoko sighs.
Then, she turns the page, and she sees it.
Possible visual hallucinations. Inmate's grown more unsettled over the course of days 4-5.
Aoko bites her cheek. Her gaze lingers over the word 'unsettled' before dragging it down to the transcribed conversation they'd written in the report. It's not complete, starts halfway through, and while she's certain something big had happened before hand, she's not exactly sure whether it's enough to lead to… this.
"The difference is easy to find." - "Then tell me." - "Aoko doesn't want to." - "Just tell me!"
Despite her best efforts, Aoko lets out a sob. It is quiet, at first. A silent shudder not unlike the tears she'd shed months ago, when she'd first found out, when she'd first learned of the connection between KID and Kaito, and the realisation that Kaito wasn't going to catch the bus with her to their entrance exams at Musashi university.
She wipes at her eyes the same way she had when Keiko had promised they'd go together instead, the same way she'd brushed away tears as she'd waited by the phone for her idiot best friend to call and just explain everything to her.
Her body collapses on itself as she turns the page, forcing herself to read everything, the same way it had when she'd spent an entire evening waiting for her father to come home from work. He'd solved the case, hadn't he, so why had he kept her waiting?
She was always left behind… By the people she love, by time. By life.
Another sob. She reaches the final page, skims the contents until she's reached the final word. When she looks up, tears blurring her sight, Hakuba and Ran haven't seemed to notice her - she's glad. All she needs to do is go clean herself up, and then… then she'll be able to focus on finding Kaito, that idiot, and reading over Kudo's file.
She pushes her seat out from beneath the table, stands. Then, at the sight of watermarks on the pages beneath her, Aoko stills. She flips the paper over.
"I'll be back in a moment," Aoko says, turning away from the table so that no one can see her face. She doesn't give either Hakuba or Ran any opportunity to respond and is out of the room before either can respond.
"Ran-san…"
"Yes," Ran says, turning to look at Saguru. She's watched Aoko's departure out of the corner of her eye, had seen the tears soaking paper, "I saw."
"Should we-"
His phone buzzes in his pocket, and Saguru glances down. He glances down, reads the number on across the screen, before looking back up at Ran.
"I'll go check on Aoko-chan." She says, when he says it's Hattori. "You answer that call, I'll be back in a while."
Saguru nods. "…Make sure she's alright? Aoko-kun… she doesn't like to let anyone know she's suffering."
Ran wraps her hands around her stomach, standing up. It sounds familiar, almost like Ran is the one being described. She remembers how hard it had been the first initial months without Shinichi, and she'd been able to visit him - Aoko… as far as she knows, hasn't had any contact with him since his arrest.
"I will." Ran promises, leaving the room in pursuit.
Aoko doesn't make it to the bathroom.
She curls in on herself halfway down the second corridor, slides down the wall until she reaches the floor and lets herself cry. She's glad for the urgency within the station, because no one stops to ask if she's okay, to wrapped up in their own business to inquire about hers.
She can hear the transcript in her head, can hear Kaito's words as if they're being spoken right in front of her. She doesn't know why she's so overwhelmed, why she feels like someone is twisting her intestines - shouldn't she be glad that Kaito was thinking about what she'd asked?
"Just tell me!"
His words filled her lungs like water. It was her fault, wasn't it, for the torment he'd endured? When he'd called, she'd just caused more suffering, when she should have been understanding, should have known he'd been punished enough, that she shouldn't have added to it by making him question…
"Aoko-chan."
Aoko stills at the voice, but refuses to look up. Instead, she closes her eyes, trying to ignore the shuffling as Ran sits beside her. Glancing through the small hole between her legs and her arms, she notices that Ran is sat cross legged beside her.
"It hurts, doesn't it," Ran whispers after a few minutes of silence, "to read what they've gone through?"
Aoko doesn't respond.
"The last time I saw Shinichi… He asked me to give up on him." She pauses, chokes on the words. "And… I don't think my heart would have been able to cope with that if I hadn't been able to talk to anyone about it."
They've not talked much before, Aoko knows, but there is some sort of link between them already. They both have to live with an absence in their lives, and Aoko wonders whether Ran is hurting as much as she is.
"You genuinely think Kudo-kun is innocent?" She asks, and tries not to sob when Ran responds with a quiet, yet firm, 'I do'. "Well… Aoko knows that Kaito is guilty. She knows that he's KID. She just doesn't know how to feel about it."
The curiosity behind KID's identity had created her, has built Aoko into the person she is today. All of the protests against KID, all the time spent hating him and… and then her curiosity had just as easily destroyed her. How stupid that she'd told herself to never trust a liar - to never trust a thief - and yet… here she is… unable to figure out where she stands.
"What was Kuroba-kun like?" Ran asks. "I always find that it's easier to figure out how you feel, from the memories you first come up with."
Aoko closes her eyes, lifts her head up from her arms and leans back against the wall. She wipes away her tears, and she thinks.
"Kaito was…" She racks her brain for words, pictures him in her brain and scratches at her arm with nails. "Aoko doesn't think he loved anything more than a crowd… He probably cared more about what everyone thought than what Aoko ever did."
Beside her, Ran reaches out a hand, taking Aoko's. She gives it a soft squeeze.
"And… he was always close enough to touch, but never close enough to Aoko to let himself get hurt," she says, "Kaito was always the one saving Aoko, all the time. Even though he was always such a nuisance and constantly embarrassed Aoko daily, he never let anyone else make fun of her."
Another squeeze, and Aoko falters as she searches for words.
"We went to find a monster in school once, and Kaito tried to keep Aoko safe…" She hesitates, "Aoko just wishes…" No, the illeism doesn't seem right… not at the moment. She pushes it away. "I just wish that I hadn't put all my faith in him."
Emotion crashes over her like waves to the shore - hatred for KID, guilt that it means all this time Kaito has been conflicted, sadness now he's gone… Fear that she'll never see him again.
"We give away things we won't ever get back," Ran says, and when Aoko opens her eyes, there are tears in the other girls eyes as well. "But it's okay… Those boys probably need it more anyway."
Aoko glances at Ran, chokes on another sob. She says, "We need to get back-"
"The investigation can wait a little longer." Ran says. "It's okay to have a bit of time to ourselves."
Aoko blinks, shudders again. This time, when Ran squeezes her hand, Aoko squeezes back.
"Aoko doesn't know who Kaito is anymore…" She whispers, and then she is sobbing again, fingers wrapping around Ran's jumper, tears staining fabric. She lets out a wail, pain bleeding from her - the thought of never hearing Kaito's laugh again overwhelming her until she feels like her heart is disintegrating, turning into ash.
And it hurts, because even if she doesn't know who he is anymore, she's still willing to love him endlessly. Because even after everything that's happened with KID she's still unable to let go of the red string of fate that binds them together.
It's agonising, because in the end, he still matters the most.
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