XVII

Amu was terribly worried. About Tadase, for one, but also a little worried that Saaya might come back for more. Really, Amu just wanted Saaya to get suspended for a bit, but with the way things were going, she was probably going to get expelled. If she were suspended, they could at least have her checked out for mental illness so she can get treated. Providing she had some kind of mental instability and that she wasn't purposely that horrible. Amu found it hard to believe to Saaya was just a bitch, given the things Amu's been told about her having constant mood swings.

Luckily, having instinctively running immediately after she left Tadase's house, she made it back home alright. Finally, she was safe in her own place. On her way she had begun contemplating calling Tadase when she got home to make sure he's okay but as soon as she flopped onto her bed, she groaned and ran her hands through her hair.

"Ugh! Why am I so worried about him?" she grumbled. "I saw him like 5 minutes ago! He's probably still safe with Ikuto."

She sighed, falling back into her bed, wondering what she was going to do with her life. It was late so obviously, there's nothing she could do now. It suddenly dawned on her that Tadase was one of the only people she had hung out with since coming to the school, despite making a few other friends, also mainly thanks to Tadase. She pondered on why that was and what it meant but ended up falling asleep. Unfortunately, much like her evening, her sleep wasn't the greatest either.

Her dreams plunged her into a world of pain and horror. There was no mercy and no hope. Countless times she'd wake up clutching her chest in a cold sweat. Every time she fell back asleep after calming down, she'd just be sent into an even worse scenario. She was in a constant state of being asleep and struggling, and awake and crying.

Even if Amu had the chance to explain her dream, she wouldn't know what to say. It just genuinely terrified her. While it might not seem scary to some people, this constant dream kept showing her the loss of all of her friends, like something out of Final Destination. Amu treasured all of her friends. Normally, she never went a week without visiting her friends. If she didn't have her friends she was essentially nothing.

Each time she'd wake up from one horrifying loss of a friend, she'd fall back asleep and be back in a dream where another friend would be taken from her. It was like a never-ending nightmare, because no matter how many times she woke up; no matter how many times she checked her clock, morning never came.

Finally, after struggling to sleep properly, she gave up. It was a quarter to one in the morning, and at this point, she was so done with her dreams. She rolled off of her bed and rubbed her eyes, unsure what to do until morning, but definitely not wanting to go back to sleep. So far, the dreams had taken away two of her old friends, Kukai and her best friend Nadeshiko, as well as Lulu, whom she had only just gotten to know. She did not want to think about or experience Tadase's dream death yet. Or at all for that matter.

"So tired…" she mumbled to herself as she carefully made her way downstairs, hoping her family was still all asleep.

Part of her felt a little bitter at the thought that they might be having better, happier dreams than her. She was starting to think that bad things only happened to her since she had moved here. It was one thing that she suddenly had an enemy, Yamabuki Saaya, who was trying to kill her for no apparent reason besides that she might be crazy and jealous; now her self-acclaimed best friend, Tadase, was injured because of her. Now she's having horrible nightmares. What more could happen?

For no real apparent reason, Amu opened and then promptly closed the refrigerator door. She wasn't hungry or thirsty in particular. All she wanted was something to keep herself occupied until the morning. Or until she could at least get the friend-killing nightmares out of her system. Anything would do. But what was there to do at one in the morning without getting caught and told to go to bed? Eventually, she sighed and lazily made her way to the living room couch.

"Maybe I can watch something on the TV…," she mumbled. "What else is there to do?"

She reached for the remote and turned the television on. As if to mock Amu, it immediately turned off again. She flickered with a light switch, with no response, before groaning in annoyance; a power outage. Her night was only getting worse and worse. Now the only thing Amu could do was sit in the darkness all by herself.

She punched the throw pillow she had been leaning against angrily and stood back up, pulling out her phone from her pocket, turning on the flashlight so she could find a candle, lantern, better flashlight, or even just a match to lighten things up a bit. She nearly ran into a vase as she stumbled through the darkness but luckily caught it before it could fall and shatter on the ground. After groping around the living room and closets for a few minutes, she found a candle and matchbook.

She put her phone down and drew the match along the box, glad that at least the matches worked fine as a small fire lit up the area in a soft orange glow. She brought the flame up to the three-wicked candle she had found and then shook the fire from the match once the candle was lit. Now the whole room was bathed in the orange glow. And smelled like flowers. She brought the candle to the dining table and looked around.

"If I can't sleep, I might as well try and write the nightmares away." she decided, once again using her phone's light to find a piece of paper and pen, not trusting herself with a candle being near paper.

She made her way to her school bag and rummaged through it, sure she had some extra paper in there, and definitely knowing she had a pen. After successfully finding the items, she turned off the flashlight and put her phone away, slowly returning to the table. She sat down and stared at the blank piece of paper before wring down whatever she remembered about any of the dreams.

In the end, she found herself writing about Nadeshiko's nightmare. Except instead of Nadeshiko dying, she changed the ending so that her best friend didn't die. That way Amu didn't have to feel sad anymore thinking about it. She wrote slowly, making sure not to mess anything up, though there was nothing great about her writing skills.

'I stand in front of my old middle school. It's only been 2 months since I moved, but it still feels like an eternity. I watch as students, recognizable and unrecognizable rush out of the school like a river. I don't pay attention to anyone until my best friend comes out. Fujisaki Nadeshiko in all her long-haired glory.

We'd met in Kindergarten and have been inseparable since. Until now of course. She promised we'd still be able to hang out after I moved, though. The promise didn't happen yet. So I took the chance to visit now.

I've been spending too much time with Tadase. I did just decide he was my best friend but don't want it to seem like I'm replacing Nade. Suddenly, Nade sees me. She's walking fast to meet me; she looks overjoyed to see me after so long. The feeling is mutual.

"Amu-chan!" she calls out gleefully, picking up her speed to run up and hug me. I hug back tightly. "Goodness, it's been so long!"

I reluctantly pull back and nod, smiling. "Yeah. Two months to be exact. I've missed you!"

We start walking, our feet already going in the direction of Nade's house. As we're walking, she asks. "So, hows the new school? Meet any new people? Any cute guys~?"

I nudge her playfully but nod again. "A few. I joined the school's student council." I pause, deciding I should say something. "Also…I met your…brother?"

Nade suddenly looks flustered. "B-Brother? What brother?"

I roll my eyes. "Come on, Nade. I know you have a twin brother. There is no way that a guy named Fujisaki Nagihiko with the exact same face as you could be a coincidence."

Nade looks down and sighs. "…yeah. Sorry for not telling you. I-I honestly didn't expect you'd end up at the same school as him."

I shake my head and grab her arm gently. We're walking across the street, though I don't remember checking if it even said walk. "It's fine, Nade. Don't worry about it."

I don't see the car coming straight for us until it honks several times at us and I'm nearly blinded by headlights. I dive away but end up letting go of Nade in the process. As I stand up, I realize Nade still doesn't see the car. It's right in front of her, but she's on a different planet, probably happy that I'm here, but regretting that she never told me she had a twin.

"Nadeshiko!" I scream out, fearing I'll lose my best friend.

She jerks out of her trance. I can hear the driver of the car trying to break. The squelching of the tires against the concrete. As fast as I could, I reach my arm out to Nade, who grabs my hand quickly. I tug her towards me just as…'

Amu didn't remember writing anything after that. The next thing she knew, she opened her eyes and the lights were back on. There was a blanket wrapped around her shoulders too. Had she actually managed to fall asleep? The smell of bacon and eggs wafted through the air and she belatedly realized she was now lying on the couch.

Amu's mother walked into the living room and smiled. "Oh, you're up. I woke up to check if I turned the oven off and noticed you out here fast asleep with a candle on and papers under your arms on the table. Your father transferred you onto the couch. What were you doing in the dining room so late?"

Amu rubbed her eyes and sat up on the couch, looking up at her mother. "Oh…I couldn't sleep, and then the power went out. So I went to write to keep myself occupied…I guess I eventually dozed off."

Amu's mother nodded in understanding, glancing towards the kitchen to make sure her food wasn't burning. "What were you writing about? I glanced at it and saw Nadeshiko-chan's name."

Amu removed the blanket from over her and shrugged. "Nothing really…" She looked at the time; it was seven in the morning. "Hey, did anyone call while I was asleep?"

Amu's mother tilted her head. "No…not at this hour. Why do you ask?"

Amu chewed her lip. "N-no reason. I-I'll go back to my room now. Maybe I can sleep more. Thanks for bringing me to the couch."

Amu stood up and stretched. After a second, she hurriedly made her way towards the stairs that lead up to her bedroom.

"I'll leave your breakfast in the oven for when you wake up!" Amu's mother called as Amu bounded up the stairs

Amu stumbled into her room and closed the door behind her firmly. For a second, she debated going back to sleep. After all, she'd only gotten probably 5 hours of sleep. Maybe writing that had finally gotten things out of her system? She pulled out her cellphone and glanced at the screen. Or maybe she should try to call Tadase first to check on him…

She sighed and flopped onto her bed, slowly dialling Tadase's number, ready to hang up or something if she got too nervous about calling just to ask if he was okay. She chewed her lip indecisively as her finger hovered over the call button, closing her eyes as she quickly pressed it and held the phone up to her ear. The dial tone sounded off and it started ringing.

"What?" a voice said gruffly. It was Ikuto. He sounded dead tired.

"Someone's not a morning person." Amu joked, not that she was one either.

Amu could almost hear Ikuto roll his eyes. "Well considering I didn't sleep at all, I'm doing peachy. I love mornings!" the sarcasm was practically seeping through the phone.

"Your sarcasm isn't needed this early in the morning, Ikuto," Amu grumbled, rubbing her head. "Why were you up all night? Did Tadase-kun not sleep?"

"He finally fell asleep at 4am," Ikuto responded, ignoring Amu's first comment. "What about you? You don't seem like the type of person who's up this early on a weekend."

Amu scoffed. "How would you know what I do and don't do? We just met!"

"Whoa, calm down, girly. I said seem as in that's my impression." Ikuto said defensively. "You didn't answer my question."

"It's none of your business my sleeping hours!" Amu snapped.

"Alright, alright. I'll drop it." Ikuto said after a second. "You don't sound too great right now, Amu, so I'm gonna assume you're not a morning person either. It's still early, so just go back to sleep. If you want to come over later, I'll leave the door open for you and you can let yourself in."

Amu paused. "W-wait. I…I called to check on Tadase-kun."

"Like I said, he didn't sleep until 4am, but besides that he's fine," Ikuto said. "You can come over later to check on him. Go to sleep now, I don't want to deal with an injured person and a snappy-tired person at the same time."

Amu wanted to complain but since she was tired, she kind of had to agree. She nodded despite Ikuto not being able to see. "Fine. If Tadase-kun wakes up, give him my regards."

Ikuto snorted. "You make it sound like he's got a serious disease. Alright. Bye."

Amu hung up the phone and sighed, putting her phone on her bedside table. Hopefully, she could get some proper sleep. Even if it was just for an hour. She settled under her covers and closed her eyes.

When Amu woke up again, it was close to ten in the morning. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was glad she had actually gotten proper sleep this time. Even if it was only for three or four hours, it was more than she expected to get. After dragging herself out of bed, she dug through her closet to look for something to wear. It was supposed to be warmer today, so she pulled out a pleather suspender skirt, a black crop top and a jean jacket. To cover most of her injuries, she dawned a pair of thigh high socks and some fingerless gloves.

Once dressed, she went to the bathroom to fix her hair. She really wasn't in the mood to do anything fancy so she just threw it into a messy bun and ran downstairs to grab the breakfast her mother had said she had put in the oven.

Ami was watching television on the couch, and her parents were nowhere in sight so they were probably in their rooms working. She would be eating alone, but she didn't mind. Ami was too engrossed in her cartoons to bother greeting her anyways.

Amu gobbled down her food and told Ami to tell their parents she was going out with some friends for a bit. Then, dawning her favourite combat boots, she opened the door, looked around and made her towards Tadase's house.

A/N: Look, another late night upload bc I have a horrible sleep schedule! Anyway, hi. I'm running out of pre-rewritten chapters to edit so putting out new ones will take longer now that i have to go...figure out what chapter in the original story I'm on (believe it or not, this is condensed lik T) If i had to hazard a guess, this point here is probably close to 10 chapters later in my original. There was a lot of unnecessary shit that I removed.

Despite it being shorter, I'm making the timeline make a LOT more sense bc in the original, all this had happened in like a week. Now it's more like 2-3 weeks. Still probably not realistic but at least I'm not making Saaya stab Amu the day she starts school...or making Amu and Tadase fall in love in a day or two.

anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter (if anyone is even reading it). I'm gonna actually go to sleep now.