Wednesday afternoon youth center.
Jason sat at a table idly doodling in the margins of his math book. It had been a long couple of days, mostly full of anxious waiting. His mother had insisted that he go to school to try and get back to normal. According to her that was the best thing he could do for Tommy. Jason didn't have the energy to argue so he'd gone.
Every class he an Tommy shared together had been a knife in Jason's heart. They empty chair that seemed to tell him this was his fault. The announcement that if anyone needed to talk the school psychiatrist was available had pissed Jason off. Why would any of the other students need help? They hadn't been raped. They hadn't had to watch their friends blood off in the shower. They hadn't had to wait for word that their friend had either pulled through or died.
"Jason?" Jason looked up and blinked. Eugene Skullovich stood looking pale. He also looked like he'd been crying.
"Skull, um hi." Jason wasn't sure what the other waited. While Skull had pretty much given up on being a bully they weren't really friends Jason really didn't have the energy to deal with anyone right now either. "Did you want something?"
"Do you know if Tommy is allowed visitors?" Skull asked tracing a pattern on the table with one finger.
Jason threw down his pencil. "No, he's not allowed the last I heard he wasn't even awake. Why on earth do you want to see him anyway? Let me guess you're curious and want to know what being raped is like. Is that it?"
Skull's head snapped up and the look in his eyes made Jason start. They were full of a rage and a sorrow Jason had never seen in him or in anyone else. "No, Jason. I don't want to ask Tommy about that. I don't fucking need to ask Tommy about that! I just..." He trailed off miserably.
Jason stood up and pulled one of the chairs out. Skull slumped into it looking down at his hands. Jason sat down across from him. "You were raped." It wasn't a question but Skull nodded anyway. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."
Skull shrugged, "No reason why you should have. It was my aunt. I was twelve when it started." He sighed heavily. "Years of therapy and I still can't talk about it with out feeling like my insides are being torn apart."
Jason tapped his fingers on the table, "Ok. Why exactly do you want to talk to Tommy, assuming he pulls through."
I hid what was happening for two years while my aunt sexually abused me. I was all alone, at least until Bulk walked in on it one day." Skull made a face. "I was all alone, Jason. Tommy needs to know that he's not alone. I was going to give him information about the support group I go to once a week. It helps having people who know what you've gone through."
"Yeah, look like I said I'm still waiting on word from my mom about Tommy's condition. As of this morning he'd been upgraded from critical to improving. When he can have visitors I'll let you know."
Angel group hospital Wednesday evening.
Tommy came awake slowly, a little surprised that he had actually fallen asleep again. After being asleep for two days he would have thought he didn't have any sleep left in him. He stared moodily up at the ceiling. He had no idea what he was supposed to do now. How was he supposed to live with everything that had happened.
He reached down gingerly and found what is questing fingers had found earlier. The bag attached to his abdomen like a large hungry leech. "No." Tommy was surprised at how weak his voice was. "No."
A hand took his pulling it gently away, Tommy let out a whimper and tugged trying to pull free. "I need to change it." The nurse who held his hand said gently. Tommy was relieved to see it was a woman, he wasn't sure he could handle a guy touching him right now.
Tommy put his hands over his face not wanting to watch. He wanted to pretend that nothing had happened. Maybe this was all a bad dream and he'd wake up in the morning safe in his own bed. He'd tell Jason about the nightmare on the way to school. The thought of Jason made him feel worse than ever. What was he going to say to the guy?
He lowered his hands when he felt water going inside of him. Tommy looked down and winced, It was worse than he'd thought. A brown liquid seemed to be draining out of him and onto a towel draped over his lower body. It didn't smell very good either. The opening was puckered and looked like a huge bee sting to his untrained eyes.
The nurse cleaned up the mess and attached a bag to the opening. "All done, wasn't to bad was it?"
Tommy just glared at her. "How the fuck would you know?"
She tucked the covers gently around him. "You go a head and cuss me out all you want, Mr. Oliver. I don't mind and its good for you to let the anger out."
"You..." Tommy began and then deflated, it was hard to stay angry at someone who responded to your rage by gently tucking you in. "I have a hole in my stomach its pretty fucking bad." He muttered closing his eyes.
Maybe he thought childishly Maybe if he pretended hard enough things would somehow go back to normal.
Wednesday evening youth center
David slid to a stop in side the youth center. He'd left Tommy when his brother had fallen asleep. He'd gone back to the reservation and the small house he shared with his dad to change clothes. He had meant to go to the youth center to tell Tommy's friends he was awake.
He'd laid down on his bed just for a minute and the next thing he knew the day was mostly gone. He'd hitched a ride into the town and gone straight to the youth center hoping to catch at least one of the rangers there.
He found all of them sitting around a table, not doing anything but sitting. They had smoothies in front of them, but no one was drinking. Billy had a salad which he was toying with rather than eating.
"David!" Billy spotted him first and waved him over to an empty seat. David realized with a pang that their were two empty seats at the table. One was for him, the other was obviously for Tommy. "We, um we were trying to decide if we should call Dr. Scott for news."
David sat down in the offered seat and yawned, despite sleeping for hours he was still exhausted. "Tommy woke up, I told Dr. Scott I wanted to be the one to give you the good news, but I went home first and I fell asleep." HE trailed off uncomfortably.
"How is he?" Jason asked softly.
David shrugged. "He kept saying that it didn't happen. He cried, like a child when he couldn't make that true. Also I think he's pretty mad right now."
The others looked down at their hands as if they cud find the answers to the problem there. It was Kat who broke the silence just as it was starting to become uncomfortable. "Does he know about the damage?"
"Not completely, He found the bag pretty quickly but I think he thinks its temporarily." David put an elbow on the table and leaned on his hand. "I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't."
Silence fell again, this time they didn't seem to be able to break the silence. Jason looked down at his hands. For a second they shimmered in his eyes, turning red as if they were covered with blood.
He clenched his hands together and put them under the table so that he didn't have to look at them anymore. "At least he's awake." Jason said finally. "Can I see him?"
"That you'll have to ask your mom." David said standing up. "I think I need to go home and get some more sleep. Its been a long few days."
Thursday morning Angel Grove Hospital.
Lisa pulled Tommy's hospital gown back down over his stomach. He had forced himself to look, the area was red and swollen. It looked horrible to him. "It looks worse than it actually is." Lisa told him.
"When will you remove it?" Tommy asked.
Lisa pulled one of the chairs up beside his bed. "Tommy, I'm going o tell you some things that you are not going to want to hear." Tommy turned away from her sullenly and Lisa reached over and gently took his face and turned it back towards her. "But you're going to have to. I'm not removing it, if I. remove it you'll die. This isn't a temporary thing, its permanent. The fact is your colon was ripped to shreds that's why their was so much bleeding."
Tommy shook his head as if trying to deny the truth. "But you have to, I can't live like this. Being fed through a tube and a hole in my stomach."
"The tube is temporary, it will take a few weeks for your body to heal and it will heal. When that happens we can start introducing solid food into your diet. A nurse is going to come in to talk to you about diet and exercising. Tommy, I know this is hard..."
That was when Tommy interrupted her. "You don't know. You don't know anything! You don't know you don't have a hole in you and you weren't raped and you. you just leave me alone! I hate you! you should have fixed it! your a doctor you were supposed to fix it!"
Lisa stood up. "Tommy, I'm going now I'll be back later after you've calmed down and we will talk some more."
After she left Tommy tried to roll over only to be stopped by all the wires still hooked to him. It wasn't fair, he couldn't even curl on his side in a ball like he usually slept.
Permanent, the word rang in his mind over and over. Permanent. Kyle Oliver the man he'd called his dad since he was two years old had done this. Kyle had in one act not only stolen Tommy's innocence and childhood, he'd stolen Tommy's future.
Despite Lisa's reassurance he was positive his normal life was over.
Lisa leaned against the wall outside of Tommy's room and wiped her eyes. She'd had patients yell at her before, even call her horrible names. There had even been a patient who had demanded a male surgeon.
None of tem had affected her quite as bad as Tommy yelling that he hated her and that she should have fixed it. She looked down at her hands, the image of Tommy open on her table in front of her mind's eyes.
She had tried, for over an hour she had tried to piece Tommy's colon back together. It had only been when his heart had stopped for the second time that she had made the heart wrenching decision to remove it. It had come down to Tommy spending the rest of his life with a Stoma and a colectomy bag or not having a life at all. "Fuck." She muttered wiping at her eyes where more tears had formed.
"Mom?" Lisa looked up to see Jason, who had been far too pale these last couple of days. "Can I see him?"
Lisa considered it for several moments, medically speaking Tommy was still in horrible condition. Ordinarily she would have limited him to family only. Mentally though he needed all the support he could get. Besides which Jason was closer to Tommy than David was. Lisa had overheard Jason and Tommy talking one day and it seemed Tommy and David were having trouble finding common ground.
All this passed through her mind as she considered Jason's question. It might do Jason some good to talk to Tommy as well. Lisa was worried about her only child. All of the zest for life seemed to have gone out of him. He was moody and pale, he also had spent an extraordinary amount of time showering the last few days.
"Fifteen minutes, you can see him for fifteen minutes. However if he starts drifting off to sleep let him the medicine makes him tired. If he pushes the morphine button he'll probably drift off a few minutes after." Lisa turned and opened the door. "Tommy you have company."
"Fuck off company!" Tommy called back.
Jason looked at his mother and she could clearly see the hurt in his eyes. "Don't take it personally, Jason. He's hurting and he's using his anger as away not to feel that hurt." Lisa gave him a hug. "Just talk to him alright. After that I'll drive you to school."
Jason stepped into the hospital room for a moment he didn't see his friend as Tommy was now. He saw him as he'd been in the room back at the Oliver's. Covered in welts, bruises and blood. Jason shook hid head to remove the image wiping his hands on his shirt. He wanted a shower badly, he didn't feel clean. hadn't felt clean since realizing he was covered in Tommy's blood.
It was the reason he'd come, Jason thought if he could see Tommy he wouldn't feel so dirty anymore. "Hey, bro."
"What do you want?" Tommy asked and Jason was surprised at the coldness. The last time he'd been that cold Tommy had been under a spell.
"Tommy I-" Jason began only to be interrupted.
"Everything I ever wanted is gone. My future, the rangers its all gone." Tommy no longer sounded cold, he sounded broken. Only once before had Jason heard Tommy like this, the day after Rita's spell had been broken when he had come to Jason's house for the first time.
Jason pulled up a chair next to the bed. "Zordon said there is no reason you can't come back to the team when you've fully recovered." Jason had gone to the power chamber that morning before coming to the hospital. Zordon, Alpha and Billy were working on something that would protect Tommy's new medical device.
"Fuck Zordon." Tommy suddenly exploded in rage. "I hate him!"
Jason glanced at the door, "Keep it down. secret identity remember?"
"Where was he Jase? Where was Zordon? I never refused the call. I never said no. Why didn't he do something?" Now Tommy was crying though he seemed barely aware of that fact. "I thought he cared, he doesn't care. He monitors everything in Angel grove, in the world and he couldn't be bothered to protect me."
"Tommy-" Jason started to speak only to have the other and continue his rant.
"And you, why did you have to ask me to kiss you in my back yard? Why didn't you just let me die when you found me? I don't want to live like this!"
Jason's jaw literally dropped open at this. He sputtered trying to think of something anything to say back to Tommy. There was nothing he could think of that would be adequate to express how he felt right at that
moment. Hurt and anger warred with in him, anger mostly at himself though.
Finally he walked to the door, pausing for a moment he looked at Tommy. "I'm sorry."
He walked out of the room holding himself together with sheer willpower. Jason found his mother talking to a nurse giving some complex orders that Jason didn't pretend to understand. She finished and looked over at him and sighed. "Oh come here kiddo." Jason buried his face in his mom's shoulder breathing in her scent.
"Tommy hates me." Jason's voice was muffled but understandable.
Lisa pushed him back until she could look him in the eyes. "Tommy is hurting, Kiddo. That hurt is mixed up with anger and shame and fear. He doesn't hate you, he hates himself so he's trying to push you away."
"So what do I do?" Jason asked. "Do I let him?"
"Just be patient and be there, he's going to need all of us." Lisa said softly. "Now school." Jason made a face. "Yeah, but you need to keep busy its good for you."
Angel grove high Thursday morning
First period was half over, which for the rangers was English with miss Appleby. It was also the only class they all had together. The entire class felt Tommy's absent, his empty seat in the last row was covered with hopes for his return. Ms. Appleby had left the desk alone, it seemed to make the class feel better to write their hopes on it.
It was impossible to sneak into her classroom due to the fact the door hinges made a loud creaking sound when the door was pulled open. The door gave its familiar creek now and MS Appleby spoke before she began turning from the board where she was writing the days homework on the board. "Tommy, nice of you to join us."
She finished the sentence at the same time she finished turning to face the person entering the room. At catching sight of Jason she realized with horror exactly what she had just said. She clapped her hands to her mouth dropping the chalk. Jason met her gaze briefly and then spun away and ran.
Most of the class froze with the same horror as the teacher. In the back row Farkus Bulkmeyer didn't he jumped up and went after Jason.
Jason ran blindly not caring where he was going just wanting to get out of there. He hit the door out of the school and kept going. He ran across the street and into the park not watching where he was going. Not caring just as long as he could get far away from that classroom and the sudden silence that had fallen when Ms. Appleby had said Tommy's name.
Since he wasn't watching where he was going, he finally tripped on a rock and went sprawling scrapping his hands on the ground. He sat slowly up and looked at the blood welling from small cuts. It held his gaze until a voice spoke. "You know the thing about rape is its not just the person who is raped who is hurt by it."
Jason looked up at Bulk who stood next to where Jason had fallen hands in his pockets. He didn't look down at the other teen but someplace off in the distance. Jason tore his gaze from his hand and looked up. "I'm fine."
"Sure, that's why your running through the park like a crazy person. I bet you've not been eating or sleeping either." Bulk shot back.
"Why do you care? Its not like we're friends." Jason retorted.
"Skull says you know about his aunt. What you don't know is I simply shut the door and walked off. I ran home and hid, because I couldn't process it. What I'd seen I just didn't want to believe it. I stopped being his friend, ignored him really. For a month I ignored him and he was still being abused."
Jason swallowed hard. "How did you stop it?"
"Skull's mother came to my house she wanted to know why I had stopped being her son's friend and I sort of just blurted it out. The thing is Jason that there are rape crisis centers and abuse hotlines, but there isn't one for those who witness the crime, or stumble on the aftermath."
Jason didn't respond for several minutes and when he did Bulk had to hunker down to hear him. "There was so much blood the sheets had gone from white to red. For a minute I thought he was dead. When I tried to help he kept begging me not to hurt him, he thought I was Kyle Oliver. When I ran home I was covered in blood."
Bulk put one hand on Jason's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Its alright not to be alright about it. But you should talk to someone, your parents or your friends maybe. Don't go at it alone Jason, it'll tear you apart."
Thursday afternoon Angel grove hospital
Tommy pushed the button on the morphine machine several times in a row. Stopping he glared at the thing, what was the point in having drugs at your beck and call if you couldn't get as much as you wanted. He hit the button again until a voice spoke. "Its programmed not to let you overdose on it you know."
A woman leaned in the doorway dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt chewing gum. "Who the fuck are you?" Tommy asked sullenly
"Well, I'm the person who's going to teach you about living with the bag." She pulled the gum out and wrapping it in paper dropped it in a waste basket. "I'm also the one who's going to get your ass out of that bed. My name is Andi."
Tommy snorted and turned away from her, which had become his standard way of dealing with things the last couple of days. turning away was easier than dealing with people. An exasperated sigh met his ear and the next thing he knew Andi had yanked the blanket and sheet he was under clean off the bed.
"Hey!" He shouted grabbing for the blanket. "Give it back!"
"I know you think that your lives over, but trust me its not." Andi slowly lifted her shirt just enough for him to see the bag on her abdomen. "Now we are going to take a walk to the end of the hall and back, got it?"
"I just had major surgery, I need my rest." Tommy tried getting the blanket from her a second time.
"What you need is to get moving, otherwise you are in danger of a blood clot." Andi's voice dropped becoming gentle. "I had my surgery when I was younger than you, I thought my life was over. Someone gave me some advice I'm going to pass on to you. You can spend the rest of your life being sorry for yourself or you can choose to live it the way you want to live despite the bag."
"I suppose I can do martial arts and everything like before." Tommy let a note of anger creep into his voice.
Andi laughed and Tommy turned away from her feeling hurt. "Tommy I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh. Most of my patients ask about dating, not sports. Yes you will be able to do everything you did before. I'll bring you some information later on doing martial arts. The one thing you have to remember is carefully. However, first your going to have to walk."
She walked out of the room and returned a few minutes later pushing a walker in front of her. Tommy looked at it horrified, then looked her full on. "I'm not getting out of bed! Give me back my bed coverings!"
Andi tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. "Tommy we can do this the easy way or the hard way The easy way involves you swinging your legs out and letting me help you walk a bit, or I can get an orderly to drag you out of bed."
"You wouldn't dare!" Tommy snarled.
"Try me." She pushed the walker next to the bed. "I'm a very stubborn person, Tommy."
"Go fuck yourself!" Tommy threw the pillow on his bed at her. She caught it easily and set it aside. Considering him for several minutes, she finally turned and left the room. Tommy sighed and settled back on the bed, glad that was over.
It wasn't as over as he thought it was. Andi returned less than five minutes later with an orderly. The orderly was a big guy over six feet tall. The white of his orderlies uniform was so clean it was nearly blinding. For all his size he moved with a silent grace. "Get him on his feet, Chris." Andi said firmly.
Tommy cringed away as the big man reached for him. When Chris's hands closed on Tommy's forearms a scream tore from his lips. He batted at the man's chest screaming again. He could feel hot breath on his neck and the sound of moaning was in his ears. Dimly he heard a crash.
Andi had dealt with her fair share of stubborn patients and she had thought Tommy was just another one of those. Tommy's reaction when Chris, who had helped her with a number of patients over the years, suggested otherwise. The scream was her first clue, it wasn't anger it was terror. The second was when Tommy in trying to get away rolled out of bed dragging sending equipment crashing to the floor.
The teen pressed himself into a corner of the room hands up to protect himself. Andi watched all of this, anger warring in her with sympathy. "Chris, never mind. go back to your other duties."
"I didn't mean to frighten him." Chris had never lost the South African accent of his youth and his voice was soft and pleasant.
"No, no this is my fault." Andi knelt down in front of the trembling teenager. "Tommy, I didn't know. I'm sorry. Come on now, we'll get you back in bed. You don't have to walk right now. Come on now, easy." Slowly with much coaxing Tommy lowered his arms and looked at her. With more coaxing she got him to take her hands and help him stand.
It was only a few steps to the bed and Tommy let himself be settled back in. Andi hit the button for the nurse. "Give him a sponge bath and check his IV." Andi told the other woman. "We had a bit of a scare."