"Why wasn't I informed the Oliver case was an assault case?" Andi Johnson had never been one to mince words, and she spoke as soon as she entered the break room where Lisa was trying to enjoy a cup of coffee.
Lisa raised one eyebrow. Usually she liked Andi, but right now she could have slapped the younger woman. She'd known Andi for over a year. Andi was a nutrition expert and an expert on living with a stoma and a bag. She had a way about her that caused even the most reluctant patient to trust and work with her.
"You did check his chart, right?" Lisa asked, keeping her voice mild. "Where it said, 'physical trauma'?"
Lisa blew air out between her teeth and leaned against one wall. "'Physical trauma'? Yeah, I saw that, but I've had patients where the physical trauma was caused by them sticking stuff into themselves. Weapons usually. People are strange."
Lisa sighed, all her anger suddenly leaving her. "I take it that's what you thought with Tommy?"
Andi ran a hand through her red hair, making it stand straight up. "Rape cases have to be handled delicately. Since I didn't realize Tommy was a rape case, I treated him like an accident case. I'm going to have to do some major repair work to get him to trust me." She walked over and stared at the coffee machine for a moment before pouring herself a cup and sitting down. "I'm going to try again this evening to get him walking."
Thursday afternoon: Youth Center
Jason was sitting at a table when the other Rangers walked in after school. They joined him around the table.
"Have you been here all day?" Adam asked as he took the seat next to the Gold Ranger.
"After what happened in English, I just couldn't do it." Jason shrugged. "Also, I saw Tommy this morning."
"How is he doing?" Kat asked the question that was on all of their minds.
"David was right. Tommy's angry." Jason kept his voice even, not letting even the slightest bit of emotion cloud his words. Inside, though, he was a bundle of nerves. He had showered twice in the youth center's locker room since he'd left school that morning. He desperately wanted another one.
"At his father?" Rocky asked. "Well, that's to be expected."
Jason shook his head. "At Zordon and I. He said that Zordon should have done something. He's mad at me because I didn't just leave him to die. Mom said he's hurting and trying to push me away." He wiped his eyes with the back of one hand.
The other Rangers looked at each other, wearing four identical frowns. They were worried about Tommy naturally, but they were beginning to worry about Jason as well. He was far too pale and fidgety. They had also noticed how he kept wiping his hands on his shirt as if he was trying to wipe something off them.
"Are you alright?" Tanya asked delicately.
"I'm fine." Jason responded flatly.
"Jase..." Adam began only to have the larger teen whirl on him.
"I said that I'm fine, alright? Tommy's the one who's hurt, Not me!" Jason snapped, anger coloring his voice for the first time. Adam held up both of his hands in surrender, and Jason continued.
"Anyway, I have to go home. I have a ton of school work to make up since I skipped school."
The rest of the Rangers watched him walk out of the youth center. "He's losing it," Rocky stated flatly. The others said nothing. There wasn't really anything to say. They all agreed with Rocky, but they had no idea what to do about it or how to get Jason to even admit he was having a problem.
Thursday evening: Angel Grove Hospital
Tommy flipped through the channels on the television mounted across from his hospital bed. He wasn't really all that interested in watching anything, but it gave him something to do. He was pretty bored at the moment, which was strange since he'd been so terrified earlier. He still wasn't sure what had happened.
The moment the orderly had laid a hand on Tommy, it was like Tommy was back in his bedroom tied to his bed with the assault happening all over again. Tommy shuddered and pressed the remote buttons faster; he didn't want to think about that. He also didn't want to think about the bag on his abdomen or anything else.
"Tommy?" He looked up then to see the woman from earlier. Andi, she had said her name was. "We still need to have a conversation."
"I told you I'm not interested." Tommy went back to his channel surfing.
Andi pulled a chair up next to his bed and gently reached over and removed the remote from his hand, turning the television off. For a long while she just sat studying him. Tommy folded his arms and glared at her, still determined not to let her talk him into getting out of bed.
"Tommy, I'm sorry about earlier." Her voice was gentle. "The truth is I didn't do my homework on your case. If I had, I would have handled things differently."
Tommy couldn't help feeling a bit curious at this point. "How?"
"By doing what I'm going to do now." Andi reached over and took one of his hands. She ran her thumb over it slowly. Tommy shuddered and tried pulling away. Andi was surprisingly strong, though. "Easy. Just breathe in and out."
Tommy was gasping now, nearly hyperventilating. She simply would not let go. "Don't..." He heard the word, but barely registered that it was his own voice speaking.
"You're alright. You are safe. It's just you and I here. No one will hurt you." When she spoke again, it was slow and measured. "Tommy, the person who hurt you isn't here... and they can't hurt you anymore. I want you to breathe. Just... breathe." Andi continued rubbing his hand gently. Slowly, Tommy felt himself relaxing. The stroking was actually kind of soothing.
When he had fully relaxed, Andi finally let go of his hand and sat back. Tommy put his hand to his cheek and was surprised to feel a wetness there. He hadn't even been aware that he'd started crying. He lowered his hand and looked at it, then at Andi who raised an eyebrow at him. "Were you raped?" Tommy finally asked.
"No, my immune system destroyed my colon for me." Andi smiled crookedly.
"When I got sick," Andi continued, "I thought I'd done something bad to deserve all that pain and humiliation. I hadn't, though, any more than you did anything to deserve what happened. Tommy, I can help you get better. I can help you return to school and have a future. I can even help you do martial arts again, eventually. I can help you have the last laugh against your attacker. What I can't do is do it alone. You are going to have to help me to help you."
"The last laugh?" Tommy's voice cracked with emotion. "I'm never going to get the last laugh, He's a prominent lawyer and also my father. So guess what? He's going to get away with it."
Andi leaned forward; her green eyes were serious. She looked Tommy straight in the eyes. "You'll get the last laugh by not letting the attack define you. You decide how to live your life and you don't let him win. If you lay here in this bed until you get a blood clot and stroke out, he wins. Do you understand?"
Tommy thought about that for several minutes. He felt so lost and confused. So utterly alone. If someone had put a gun in his hand, he probably would have used it. Ever since he'd woken up that day in his room, he'd been reacting and not acting. It wasn't his usual style; Tommy usually did the opposite. He'd been trying to put a wall up between himself and the rest of the world.
He also couldn't imagine how anyone could live with an opening in their abdomen and a bag hanging from it. Old people, maybe, but a young person such as himself? How could they hope to have any sort of a normal life? Tommy supposed that he had to try, though. If only so he could someday look Kyle Oliver in the eyes and tell him that he hadn't won.
"What do I have to do?" Tommy's voice was a whisper and he wasn't sure Andi heard it. He didn't have the energy to raise his voice any louder though.
"Today, all that you have to do is walk with me to the end of the hall outside this room and back. Tomorrow we can go over your diet. We'll take this one step at a time. It's not so hard to walk, now is it?" She reached over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
Tommy wasn't sure it wasn't going to be so hard. It was so tempting just to give in, to give up. Tempting to just shut out the world so he'd never have to hurt again. He knew that wasn't a practical solution, but he was just so tired of it all. So tired of being forced to do things he didn't want to do. So tired of feeling helpless, again.
The problem was – and he couldn't tell Andi this – the problem was this wasn't technically the first time he'd been raped. Rita and Lord Zedd's mind controlling spells. Prince Gasket's brain drain device. All had been rapes just as much as what Kyle Oliver had done to him. The reason why Kyle's assault hurt worse was that Tommy had trusted him.
He swallowed hard, fighting back waves of anger and sadness. "What if I can't?"
"Tommy, I know you can," Andi said softly, giving his hand another gentle squeeze. "You just have to make the attempt."
Finally... slowly, Tommy nodded yes. He would try and make the attempt as she put it. Take a first step. Maybe if he did that, the second wouldn't be as hard. He slowly slid the covers down to the edge of the bed and swung his legs over until he sat on the edge. Now he thought of another problem. He pointed to the morphine machine. "What about that?"
"It's on wheels. I'll push it as we walk. Don't worry about it." She stood up. "Just hang on one second, though."
She slipped out of the room and returned with a walker. Tommy looked at it in disgust. "Do I have to use it?"
"You're still very weak, Tommy," Andi pointed out. Tommy made a face until she smiled at him. "The more you walk, the stronger you'll get. Once we get you back on solid food, you'll improve even faster. Soon you'll be back to your old self. Now take a hold and try for a firm grip. Then slowly pull yourself up."
Tommy slowly reached his hands out and took the handles of the walker. The rubber grips felt solid under his hands. He stood slowly and was surprised at how weak his legs were. He would have gone down despite the walker, but Andi was at his side holding him up. "Take a deep breath and relax."
After a moment, his legs didn't feel quite so wobbly. His stomach felt like it was on fire, however. Just standing up had started a pain that made him nauseous. "That hurts," he gasped out.
"I know and I'm sorry, but you still need to walk." Andi pulled the walker forward. Tommy had to take a step forward to keep from falling over. Slowly they inched their way out of the room and into the hall. Tommy was biting his lip, trying to keep from crying out. His whole abdomen felt like it was on fire and the pain was getting worse with every step.
"I can't..." he gasped out. Andi's response was to pull the walker forward again. Tommy felt tears threatening. For a while, he'd thought she was nice. She wasn't nice. This was cruel. "You bitch."
"Yes, Tommy, I'm a bitch... and you're a little crybaby." Andi rubbed her eyes with her hands. Anger gave Tommy strength and he managed six more steps. Every move made him feel like he was going to throw up or pass out. To his intense relief, Andi finally helped him turn back.
Tommy thought he'd faint before they finally made it all the way back to his hospital room. She helped him climb back into the bed. When Tommy was settled against the pillows, Andi pushed the button on the morphine machine. Tommy felt the coolness of the medicine enter his body. The pain receded. He felt the tension go out of him as it did. "You said it would be easy."
"Nothing worth having is ever easy, at first." Andi reached for his hand and Tommy yanked it out of her reach. He was so angry right now, he wanted to punch someone. "Tomorrow, we do this again."
"I can't. It hurts too much." Tommy was beginning to drift off, the medicine made him so tired.
"Yeah, you can." Andi had the last word on it as Tommy followed the meds down into a cool darkness.
Two weeks later
Monday Morning: Angel grove hospital.
Tommy took a step and glared at Andi, who stood passively in front of him. He hated her most days, but he had to admit she'd been right. It had never hurt as bad as it had that first day. He was walking on his own now and with very little pain. He had also been weaned off the morphine machine and was now on pain pills by mouth.
Even those were being tapered off. He was taking food by mouth as well. Not fully solid food yet; mostly he drank shakes. Protein shakes had never been his favorite thing to drink, but now he was having them three times a day and was kind of getting used to the taste.
He had not really fought Andi since that first day. She would simply wait until he wore himself out and then insist that he do some walking anyway. It was easier to just walk. It was less tiring than having a battle first. Tommy hated her most of the time. "Lunch time. Let's head back," she said.
Tommy followed her back to his room and got a shock: all his friends were there. "Mom said you could have visitors." Jason didn't look at Tommy as he spoke. "But we'll go, if you're not up for it."
Tommy didn't say anything. The truth was he wasn't sure he was up for it. He was tired and sweaty and to make matters worse the hole – no, the stoma. He had to think of it as the stoma - had been making noises all day. Andi and Lisa had both said that was a good sign, because it meant it was starting to work.
He said nothing until he was sitting on the bed. "I suppose I can handle company." Tommy slowly leaned back onto the pillows sighing gratefully. "It's lonely here."
Andi spoke from the doorway. "There's a rule on the number of visitors you can have, though." Tommy gave her a pleading look and she sighed rolling her eyes. "Try not to wear him out, okay? An infection could set him back months. I'm going to come back in twenty minutes and then you all have to go, alright?"
"Yes, ma'am," the teens all said together. Andi slipped out of the room, closing the door behind her.
For a moment, there was an awkward silence as everyone tried to figure out exactly what to say. It was broken when Tommy's stoma let out a farting sound. At that Kat said with a perfectly straight face, "Wow, Tommy, what did you have for breakfast?"
"Lobster thermidor," Tommy blurted out before he really thought about it and suddenly they were all laughing. It was a release of sorts. The tension just seemed to float out of the room with the laughter. Tommy studied his friends. "So what's going on in the real world?"
"You mean with the Rangers?" David poured a glass of water from the jug next to Tommy's bed and handed it to his brother. "Mondo sent down a monster, but we took care of it. Zordon and Alpha both send their love."
"Fuck Zordon," Tommy grumbled taking the water and sipping it. The others looked at each other. "I don't want to hear about Mondo's attack. I want to know about school and if my dad's in jail."
Adam answered, choosing each word carefully. "He was arrested the day of your attack. Your mom was, too. They got out on bail. Your mom left your dad. She's been telling anyone who will listen that she was under the impression he was just going to scare you a bit. She's staying in a hotel near the hospital. Your dad hired this hot shot defense attorney." The others looked at him and he shrugged. "I heard Mom talking about it, okay? They tried for a plea bargain, but your dad wouldn't accept it. He says someone else broke in after he left."
"And you believe him?" Tommy's voice had gone cold once again. He felt tears coming to his eyes. "You think he didn't do it?"
"We don't know what to believe," Rocky, unusually subdued, said softly. "I, for one, can't wrap my head around it all. Are you sure the trauma didn't make you... I don't know... confused?"
Tommy felt like he was going to be sick. If his own friends didn't believe him, what chance did he have that the authorities would? He looked at his hands, at the row of healing cuts from where he'd pressed his fingernails in until the bled. "No, Rocky. I'm not confused. I know exactly who attacked me."
"The mind can play tricks," the Blue Ranger didn't look at the others, but studied the carpet as if he could find the answers to the world's problems there. "And this is the guy who pulled you out of school to keep you from getting the flu? I can't... Why would he do something like this?"
Tommy suddenly understood. Rocky saw the world as black and white... good and evil. People were either good or evil; there was no halfway in the Latino teen's world. If someone flipped from good to evil, there had to be a reason... a spell or something. Rocky's worldview had suffered a resounding blow at the idea that someone he'd thought was good could do something bad.
"What do you want me to say?" Tommy shrugged. "That I understand what happened? That I know why? I don't." Now the tears did come, and he was helpless to stop them. "He said I had to be punished, that I was bad. He... I couldn't stop it. I tried so hard to stop it and I c-c-c-couldn't."
"Now look what you've done," David snapped at Rocky who turned red.
"I'm sorry." Rocky's voice was choked with emotion. "Tommy, I'm sorry."
"Maybe you're right, though. Maybe my mind played tricks." Tommy hiccupped out a sob as he spoke. "I think sometimes I must have actually liked it because..." He stopped there and buried his face in his hands. Jason sat down on the bed and despite Tommy's trying to pull away, hugged the other teen.
"Because what?" Jason's voice was so low that Tommy barely heard it.
"You know what," Tommy managed between shaking sobs.
"You need to say it," Jason murmured.
"I got an erection and... and when he was finished, he used his hand and I... oh god, I orgasmed. I came. I liked it. I must have," Tommy sobbed out the words.
"No." Billy had been standing back from the group, almost as if he was afraid to come closer to Tommy's side. Tommy looked at him now. "No, you didn't."
Tommy pulled away from Jason and looked over at the young genius. Billy looked back passively. Tommy saw the sorrow in his friend's eyes. "How do you know that?"
"Tommy, you can have an orgasm from physical stimuli without wanting to have one." The others looked at the young genius and Billy flung his hands in the air. "So I did some research in the wake of Tommy's rape. I wanted to know... I wanted to know if there was anything I should avoid saying or doing."
Tommy thought about it for a minute or two. The idea that he could have an orgasm without wanting one was new to him. He wished he had known it earlier. It was actually a weight off of his shoulders to know this. There was something else he needed to know, and Billy he thought could answer the question.
"Billy, why didn't Zordon do something? Why did he just leave me?"
Billy looked down at his feet shifting, uncomfortably. Like Rocky had a moment ago, he began to turn an interesting shade of red. The silence grew becoming nearly oppressive until Tanya spoke. "Billy, tell him."
"It's not Zordon you should be mad at." Billy moved closer then and made himself meet Tommy's gaze. "It's me. I messed up Tommy, I messed up big time, but I didn't think. I didn't know..."