It has to be the first time in twenty-four years that I've slept without some form of nightmare plaguing me. In fact, I haven't slept so well since I had last shared a bed with Vergil, and that would make it twenty-five years. Twenty-five long years spent without the comfort of his touch, without the heat of his body next to mine, without the taste of him on my tongue. Words can't describe the ache I had felt when he had walked out on me for good without any warning when we had been eighteen, having spent almost two years together by that point. Two years of a love that had consumed me so completely that his leaving had nearly left me broken.
Temen-ni-gru had almost destroyed me, had honed the ache into a pain that nothing could soothe, and then Mallet… My worst nightmares are of my time on Mallet. Of having to fight the blackened angel time and time again only to discover the awful truth after the final blow had been dealt by my hand. I had killed Vergil, my brother, who I had assumed dead after his fall into the Underworld. The only person I loved with every breath in my body and every beat of my heart. I had been utterly shattered by Mallet—had taken years to finally accept that I would live an incomplete existence—only for my reason to truly live to return in one of the most fucked up of ways.
I had been prepared to kill the horror my brother had become but when I finally found myself standing before Urizen, that demonic part of him, I found myself unable to commit. I had hoped and wished that he would instead return to me, no matter how monstrous his form, until my hand had been pushed. I had almost killed him again and then V—it should have been so fucking obvious—waltzed right on in for the killing blow. V, with that goddamn book and the poetry Vergil had so loved spilling from his lips—the human side of my brother that I had been too blind to notice until that moment—had swooped in and changed everything.
While thy branches mix with mine And our roots together join. It is only half of the beginning stanza from Love and Harmony Combine which Vergil had offered to me in whole countless times as a profession of his love for me, to the point that it has been etched into my soul alongside his name. For V to have used those particular verses, it had shaken me in a way that I hadn't expected and I certainly hadn't expected how much it had hurt to hear it, even in part. Nor did I expect the sudden and overwhelming urge to fall into Vergil's arms as soon as he had reappeared whole and hale, as if nothing had ever happened. As if he hadn't left me two times over. As if his blood doesn't stain my hands.
So, yes, my first reaction upon waking up and realizing that I'm in his arms is to panic. That he had implied that he wasn't going to be leaving me isn't something that I can trust, not after everything I've endured. So, yes, my panic turns into terror when I can't push away from him like I want to. "Let me go!"
"You have a wing wrapped around me." Vergil's soft statement is just enough to cut through the terror consuming me, leaving me wholly confused. Why would I- "We did not fully revert from our Trigger forms and were left with a few of our more demonic features."
That's not-it shouldn't be possible, but a glance down at the wing proves what Vergil is saying as much as I don't want to believe it. It weird, like I hadn't noticed it until my brother had pointed it out to me, but now that I'm aware of it I also notice something else. A feeling that I am completely unfamiliar with, a pressure that is oddly pleasant and not quite on my spine. I don't know how to interpret this new sensation, I care more about getting away from Vergil right now and quickly withdraw my wing from around him to put some distance between us.
"You're going to hurt yourself again." Vergil's warning has me faltering and keeps me from moving to the far corner of the bed, and at the same time I feel a sort of tug on the base of my spine. The pleasant pressure from before has changed, not quite pain but it has me falling flat on my face as my whole body goes weak. My brother sighs from behind me and I can feel him moving closer while the pressure on the base of my spine alleviates. "You also have a tail."
I am admittedly stunned at the news that I have a tail, a concept that is completely alien to me, but I don't know how else to process the sensations coming from my tail. I'm not sure how much I like it if it's gonna make me fall on my face with what had barely been a tug. A shiver runs up my spine as a far more delicate pressure is applied to my tail and I can't immediately parse just what the hell is going on, but I've regained enough strength to push myself up.
"Stay still, I'm almost done." For a second I actually contemplate the softly spoken command from Vergil, but then I realize what's happening and whip around anyways, my wings spreading out as I give a hiss. My tail, a long, whip-like and red-scaled thing, is all but ripped out of my brother's grasp and sweeps behind me where it lashes with my renewed anger. Vergil gives me a look that is pained as he puts some space between us. "Dante, I-"
"Save it," I snarl out, earning a flinch from my brother, my fingers briefly digging into the bedding with the sound of tearing fabric. For a few seconds he looks hesitant, eyes wide and imploring, before his expression steels with resolve.
"We need to talk, Dante." If he's angry he doesn't show it, his voice calm and controlled while his gaze is steady and unblinking. I want to laugh at the thought of there being anything to talk about, the time for that long past, but Vergil is determined to be heard. "All I ever wanted was to keep you safe-"
"-but you weren't strong enough. I heard you loud and clear yesterday," I interrupt with a sneer, uncaring of whether or not that was the point that he's trying to make. "No, if we're going to talk, Vergil, let's talk about how you broke my goddamn heart with that shit! You abandoned me! Not once, but twice! Dress it up however the fuck you want but it does not change the fact that you left! You left me and I assumed the worst! Nine years I thought you were as good as dead and then…" My voice trails off as all of the pain wells up inside of me, a lump starting to form in my throat. I try to swallow it down as best as possible, drawing in a shuddering breath that doesn't help at all, and push on. "I killed you... I killed you and may as well have died with you on that day."
"Dante…" It comes out in a whisper, Vergil's expression becoming stricken while his eyes glint wetly. If he's going to apologize then I don't want to hear it. I can't do this again. As much as I still love him, as much as I want him, I just can't. It hurts too much.
"All I wanted was to be with you. I would have done anything for you, I would have gone anywhere with you, but you never even gave me that chance and I…" My voice cracks, a warm wetness, tears, trailing down my cheeks. I give a sharp shake of my head then wipe at my eyes with the back of my arm. "I need to go." Before I spill my heart out to him even further.