[From SWAK]
Nurse Emma was tending to Tony while I sat on his bed next to him. I held his hand and drew comforting circles on the back of it with my thumb. Tony was breathing raggedly and Emma had to dab the blood off his blue lips since he was too weak to do anything. Tony grunted in pain and glanced up at me.
"I'm sorry I teased….you will….all those….movies Claire." Tony started apologizing, finding it painful to speak. I had to reverse this, he was giving up and I wasn't about to let that happen.
"Teased me? You tortured me for years all I've heard is John Wayne and Clint Eastwood, James Bond…." I told him, trying to keep up a hopeful attitude.
"James Bond…..is a character….." Tony coughed as he tried to speak. I smiled sadly. I knew that but I just wanted to keep his fighting spirit up. He could never turn down a change to correct a bad movie reference.
"…..Played by Shaun Connery….and George Lusby….Roger Morris….and Pierce Brosden…." Tony trailed off and started to clear his throat, but to no avail. He looked up at me with pain in his eyes, he knew he was dying. I maintained eye contact with him as Nurse Emma unbuttoned his shirt a little so she could listen to his lungs. If this was it I was going to take in everything I could about him. His hazel eyes held me anchored in the moment, I smiled inwardly at how I used to tease him about how they seemingly changed color on a daily basis. But that's what I loved about them. Just like Tony who had many sides, his eyes had many shades but in the end they were still the same entity.
"Why are you wearing a mask?" Tony suddenly asked, breaking off my thought process.
"Because I have a cold." I told him softly. I knew that he had figured it out but I still wanted to keep up the charade. Fake it till you make it, right? Tony glanced up weakly at me knowingly. My heart kept breaking every time I looked over at him and knew that he was still getting worse. I knew I could still get the infection, but I don't care. If this is it for Tony, I'm going to be here for every second. He gave me scrutinizing look.
"Why aren't you sick?" he asked with strangled breaths. I kept my tears at bay and sent a teasing smirk. Tony coughed again.
"I'm stronger than you Tony." I haughtily told him. Tony started to laugh but it ended in some coughing. I winced at the sound.
"Are not" he immediately countered. I smiled at his stubbornness.
"Am too." I told him. Tony wanted to answer but his breathing was too labored. He started choking and tried to sit up for air. I immediately grabbed onto his shoulder in panic.
"Tony, Tony sit up." Emma quickly ordered and the two of us helped him sit upright, hoping to clear his airway. He started to get some air but was still chocking. Dr. Pitt rushed into the room.
"Claire you should leave." He told me urgently, not looking my direction as he rushed towards Tony. I whipped my head to look at him in shock.
"What no." I protested. There was no way I was going to leave him. Not now.
"Now." Dr. Pitt ordered. Ducky walked in and started pulling me back as I struggled against him.
"Wait no please." I pleaded but went, not wanting to make a scene. Tony finally caught some breath and was eased back down. They closed the airtight lock to the room and took of my mask.
"Oh god." I muttered and sobbed, hand over my mouth to try and muffle them. Anything but this. I would do anything to take his place. The pain was too much for me to bear. The thought that he was being taken from me was worse than death, and to be taken so violently. He didn't deserve this. I couldn't live without him. Finally, all these emotions started to make sense. The jealousy, the hurt….I loved him. I loved him and I would never get the chance to say so. He was dying right in front of me and I was helpless against it. Ducky gently led me out and I crumpled into his chest, my heart couldn't take any more pain as I sobbed against him.
"You were brave to stay with him Claire." He told me as he patted my back. To hell with bravery.
"He's dying Ducky." I sobbed brokenly. He was dying and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
In isolation, I was standing outside with Brad watching at Tony's vitals evened out a little. Now that he wasn't dying I had a lot to think about. Seeing people you love on the brink of death really sorts out your priorities.
"Can I sleep here?" I asked hopefully.
"As long as you don't give Tony that cold." He warned jokingly. I smiled and looked back at Tony wringing my hands in thought. He pushed the button to open the doors for me and shot me a smile as he walked off.
"He's asleep." Nurse Emma told me as she passed, leaving us alone in the room. I nodded at her and walked into the quiet room. I stood beside his bed and smiled down at his sleeping form. He looked peaceful now despite how weak and sick he was. After a moment, I crawled into the bed next to him and laid there as all the lights went off in the room.
"This reminds me of the end of Alien." I heard Tony mutter tiredly from beside me. I smiled and let out a soft laugh. He was going to be just fine. I was the one that had to sort things out. But for right now I just wanted to bask in the realization that he wasn't going anywhere soon.
3rd Person POV:
Claire sat beside Stephen at a bar in town. All the craziness had died down over the past couple days giving her plenty of time to think on her new feelings. She had brought Stephen over to explain things. He sighed and looked over at her.
"This isn't just about me, is it?" he asked her with a soft smile. Claire gave him a rueful glance.
"Not really…." She mumbled out. He chuckled but you could still tell that he was a bit hurt.
"It's Tony, isn't it?" her eyes widened and she almost spit out her drink.
"How did you….." she asked looking at him again. He gave her a knowing look, causing her to chuckle at his expression.
"I've kinda always known. It just…..different with him than it is with me." Stephen gently explained. He could tell by the way her eyes lit up whenever she talked about him. It was apparent during college and that connection between the two was still there.
"I'm really sorry. I really like you, you're a really great guy but it just….." Claire tried to explain but Stephen held up a hand to pause her babbling.
"It's ok. I mean I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little hurt but I will live. It really is ok, don't beat yourself up about it." He assured her. She smiled and gave him a hug.
"So are we still friends? No hard feelings?" Claire asked once she had pulled away. Stephen smiled at her.
"Yea, no hard feelings. I wish you luck." He told her. She smiled and hopped down from the barstool.
"Well I have to take off. I'm having friends over later tonight." Claire told him and waved to him as she made her way out.
A few hours later Claire was pacing around her living room when she heard knocking at her door. She rushed over and flung it open. Outside stood Kate and Abby with wide eyes from her abrupt actions. Without a word Claire grabbed their arms and pulled them inside. She was trying not to freak out, but now that she was single again she didn't know what to do.
"Are you ok?" Kate asked, setting her coat and purse on one of the chairs in the living room.
"Yes…..no….OH I don't know!" Claire ranted while still pacing.
"Oh sounds juicy, do tell." Abby commented as she took a seat beside Kate on the couch. They were watching Claire pace around the room, wondering what had her all worked up.
"I broke up with Stephen" Claire finally blurted out. Kate and Abby glanced at each other. That couldn't be all.
"And that's why you're making a path in your carpet?" Abby asked while watching her pacing friend. Claire paused and glanced down at her carpet to make sure she was joking.
"No there's more…" she mumbled worriedly. Suddenly she lost all of her confidence and started to chicken out on telling them.
"I think we need alcohol….do you two want any alcohol….alcohol sounds nice right now." Claire started rambling attempting to escape to her kitchen. Her two friends however, were faster and grabbed her arms.
"No no no, you are going to tell us why you are freaking out." Kate insisted. Claire groaned and took in a breath.
"I'm in love with Tony." She finally huffed out. Abby and Kate's eyes widened but then they shared a look as if to say 'I knew it'. Claire gave them a confused look. The other two knew that this was freaking her out a little bit so in a silent conversation they determined what the next step to this girl's night venting session…..
"Let's get the alcohol." They chorused together. Claire laughed and quickly led them into the kitchen. It's was a good thing they didn't have work tomorrow. This was going to be a long night.