From: In the Dark
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3rd Person POV:
Claire entered the bullpen, sparing Tony a brief glance as she passed by silently. Tony watched her go, clenching his jaw and running a hand through his hair tiredly. Tensions had been at an all-time high ever since they lost La Grenouille in the ARES sting. Ever since then Jenny had been taking mysterious trips and meeting with contacts in an attempt to nail the man with something else. The team had been put through the ringer following her orders on any case that caught wind of the arms dealer, having to bend to her sporadic will. The director was on the warpath and would chew out anyone who contradicted her. Claire had recently been on the receiving end of her wrath. The last case that brought them close had ended in bogus guns and a pleasant note congratulating the dead informant on a new job. La Grenouille was smarter than anyone gave him credit for, and Claire was the only one brave enough to point it out. Tony had been full of anxiety ever since the woman started speaking out. He was going through all this trouble to keep her out of Jenny's sights and now she was purposefully putting herself in the danger zone.
To top it all off Ziva and now McGee were privy to the fact that Tony was dating someone rather seriously. When they confronted him about it, he had begged them not to tell Claire about Jeanne. The excuse he gave them was Claire's overprotectiveness, and some nonsense that he wanted to figure the relationship out on his own. They reluctantly took it, not liking keeping information from a teammate.
What he didn't tell them is he never planned to tell Claire about Jeanne. He was just as eager to catch La Grenouille almost as much as Jenny was to get out of the relationship. It had been months since things started with Jeanne and now, he had to keep moving forward to keep her interested. He had met her mother, stayed the night, and had even graduated to being intimate with the woman. It made him feel sick every time, knowing he was just using the innocent doctor. It went against his nature to be that needlessly cruel, but he kept telling himself it was for a good reason.
The combination of what Claire did and didn't know left her and Tony's relationship in limbo. Claire had naively assumed that once his missions with the director were out in the open that their relationship could start to mend and go back to normal. Perhaps even revisit what they had before. But that wasn't the case. If anything, things had been significantly worse. Since she knew more about his missions, he felt more comfortable talking with her about what he had been doing before. However, he still had mysterious outings which she was starting to worry about. Maybe what he had been hiding had nothing to do with the undercover missions for Jenny. She didn't know what to think anymore, maybe he had changed, and she never realized it. Claire needed a straight answer soon and decide whether or not it was time to let him go.
McGee walked into the bullpen, eyeing the duo with a frown. While Claire was distracted with work he headed over and sat on the edge of Tony's desk.
"So, you never said but how did dinner with the mother go the other week?" he quietly asked. Tony glanced up at him, surprised at how much the probie cared.
"Uh not too well. She's a piece of work. Spent the whole night being interrogated on when I was going to cheat on her daughter." He grinned thinly, remembering the very unpleasant evening with the woman. He could certainly understand the mother's concern given his history and fear of commitment. Nonetheless it had been a very painful evening. McGee nodded thoughtfully and glanced back over his shoulder at their teammate who was scowling at the screen.
"Why haven't you told Claire about it yet? Tony it's been months." He urged, concerned for their lack of communication. Tony clenched his jaw.
"I will. I just need to find the right time. We aren't exactly on friendly terms at the moment. Don't worry about it." He told the man, being sure to shoot him a look to 'back off' about the whole thing. McGee frowned but nodded in agreement before taking off to his own desk. Tony's cell went off and he reached for it, mentally relieved that it was Gibbs who was calling.
"What's up boss?...uh huh…..alright we'll met you there." Tony held the phone to his ear as he wrote down the address.
"Got a body. Let's go. Where's Ziva?" Tony called, prompting the rest of the team into action.
"Right here." The woman in question quickly appeared, falling into line with the others as they headed to the elevator. As they filed in, Claire quickly took the spot diagonal from Tony in the back of the elevator.
"I noticed you only grabbed one set of keys. Aren't we taking separate cars?" Claire pointed out, opting out of taking a silent ride down. Tony rose a brow, turning to glance back at her.
"No, actually. I thought we should take the van….you know some spend some bonding time. It's been a while since we were all together." He quipped with a teasing grin. Claire bit the inside of her lip, clearly displeased. Ziva and McGee glanced at one another uncomfortably.
"I think that would be wise. Given the address is by an apartment complex." Ziva pointed out, glancing down at the slip of paper in Tony's hand. The man huffed in annoyance, realizing what she did.
"By the way you are going to actually tell us where that is right?" Claire snipped from the back. Tony clenched his jaw, turning around to glare at her.
"What's that supposed to mean?" he griped. The woman turned her icy blue glare his direction, not flinching.
"I'm just pointing out that you have a tendency to hide things from your partners. Just wanted to make sure we were in the loop this time." She told him evenly.
"Look I apologized for that stuff already! I didn't have a choice. You should be over it by now so what's the real issue you have with me?" he countered. Claire glanced away shaking her head.
"Whatever, this is not the time." She huffed, quickly bolting out of the elevator with Tony hot on her heels.
"Claire! This is very much the time. You have been on my back for weeks, it's getting old." He barked, throwing open the door to the NCIS van.
"Maybe she's right. I don't think this is the right time to be having an argument." McGee chimed in anxiously.
"Shut up!" the duo whipped around on the man angrily. McGee jumped in surprise.
"Don't yell at the poor Probie." Tony scolded. Claire gaped at the man incredulously.
"What…..you just yelled at him too. Ugh you're so infuriating." She snapped, her ire starting to waver now that he had switched topics on her.
"Well apparently it's part of my charm." Tony smirked sarcastically. Claire snarled, hopping into the van and slamming the door behind her.
...
For the next few minutes, Ziva and McGee sat quietly as the two continued to bicker in the van. Having enough confrontation, Tony quickly pulled over and into a small parking lot next to a bistro.
"Tony what are you doing? We have a crime scene to get to." Claire snapped, watching the man roughly throw the van in park.
"I'm getting some food if that's all right with you? Just hop off my back for a minute." He snapped, storming out of the van to get away from her. The van lapsed into awkward silence, the two agents allowing Claire the time to decompress. Inside the shop, Tony took the few minutes to calm down as he ordered and waited for his food. He couldn't keep doing this, it was destroying their relationship. But they had work to do so he had to compartmentalize his feelings and put his worries aside for now.
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Claire's POV:
Once we got back to NCIS, I quickly escaped down to Abby's lab bringing the evidence we found for her to analyze. Thankfully McGee had stayed upstairs so it gave me an excuse to stay down there and 'help' her.
"So….you yelled at him…and then he went to pick up sauerkraut to get away from you?" Abby inquired, looking over at me curiously. I groaned, shoving my hands into my hair as I leaned my arms on the bench next to her.
"Yea." I moaned.
"Tony doesn't like sauerkraut." She pointed out, clicking away on her keyboard.
"I know. He didn't even look where he was parking. Just needed an excuse to get away from me. Am I making to big a deal out of this?" I asked her, looking up to read her expression. Abby shifted her lips to the side as she thought. I watched my friend whip around to look at me fully, her hip against the table.
"I don't know. He has opened up about the whole undercover gig. Maybe you should cut him some slack. You're both under a lot of pressure." She suggested. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I felt another headache coming.
"I guess. I just don't like this new side of Tony. He used to tell me everything, and now I feel like I don't know the man anymore. I'm tired of it." I lamented, taking a sip of my coffee. Setting it down I looked up at one of the screens, seeing that we got a hit on some of the DNA found under the sailor's fingers.
"Abby I'm going to find Gibbs and tell him about….." I started but paused when I turned to find Abby sniffing my coffee deeply, wafting in the fumes. I blinked, watching her stare at the liquid longingly.
"You ok?" Abby quickly jumped up, shaking her head in determination.
"Just fine. I've decided I need to cut back on caffeine. Sometimes the cravings hit me." She dismissed. My eyes widened in surprise.
"You're quitting caffeine?" She nodded. Well if that's what she really wants…..however I wouldn't hold my breath that this will be a lasting thing. Abby and caffeine is like icing and cake; they're just naturally put together.
"Alright….let me know if you change your mind." I offered, grabbing my coffee to remove the temptation. Abby waved at me distractedly as I walked out of the room. Well, if she wasn't going to have any caffeine then I supposed it wouldn't hurt for me to drink enough for the both of us.
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3rd Person POV:
Around the corner of the large stairwell, Tony hopped up on his tiptoes to make sure his team on the other side was well distracted. Shrinking back he walked over to lean against the corner to make sure he was well hidden.
"I can't think of anything charming or pithy to say." He crooned, answering his cell.
"Well, I have fantastic news. I think I found us a place." Jeanne told him on the other line.
"Wow, that's great." Tony commented in surprise. That was fast.
"It's a three-bedroom apartment, not far from the university or the hospital. And has really cute floral wallpaper."
"Ah, ha..wow…..That….that…that's great." Tony stuttered unconvincingly, totally at a loss of how to sell this. It was too fast.
"Great as in great, or great as in you're having second thoughts?" Jeanne asked warily, obviously picking up on his hesitance.
"I'm not having second thoughts…Is there a third option?" he winced, already knowing how bad that sounded.
"Don't do this to me, Tony."
"Jeanne…."
"You didn't have to say anything yesterday. You could have just given me a hug and told me everything would be okay. That would have been more than enough. But don't tell me you wanna live with me, and then take it back." Jeanne told him. Tony could hear the hurt in her voice. He had to push onward.
"I am not taking it back. When I suggested that we live together, I was speaking from…you know….what's the thing in your ribcage?"
"Heart." Jeanne sighed with a reluctant grin.
"Heart. Yeah….. I was. And I am. And I meant it, and I'm just…" he explained gently, not wanting to make a bad situation any worse.
"A commitment phobe? Afraid to love?"
"Right in the middle there." Tony chuckled dryly….it seemed like an appropriate answer. He was wary about commitment for sure, but he had warmed up to the idea when it was the right person.
"And I'm ahem….just not very focused right now. And I'm not a big fan of floral, I'll be honest with you." he pushed onward, keeping his voice even.
"Okay, then. I'll keep looking if you're sure that's all that it is." Jeanne assured him gently.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
"Then what are you doing on the phone? Get back to work." She teased.
"Yes, ma'am." Tony sighed as he hung up the phone. He turned around to rejoin his team…only to see them staring at him curiously. Tony froze.
"Hi." He muttered, unsure of how to proceed. McGee grinned, Caf-pow in hand.
"Hey. Abby called. She found something. Wanted us to come down." He informed the man. Tony's eye twitched as they approached.
"If you're done, that is." Claire added stiffly. Tony glanced at her but refocused on Gibbs, knowing he would be the one to chew him out at the moment.
"I'm sorry, boss. I'm…."
"I know DiNozzo, trust me. I know." Gibbs assured pointedly. Tony blinked, wondering what Gibbs was doing that he could relate to the situation. How much did he know?
"Well, I'm going to run this down to Abby and maybe convince to go get over this caffeine strike. For all our sanity." Claire muttered uncomfortably. She grabbed the cup from McGee and practically bolted from the scene. Gibbs and McGee followed after her. However, Ziva stayed behind.
"How long were you guys there?"
"Long enough." Tony's eyes shot to her in alarm, darting back to where Claire had left with the rest of the group. How much had she heard?
"She was only there for the last bit. Just about searching for an apartment. Not the…..new roommate bit." Ziva assured him, frowning. She didn't like hiding yet another thing from her teammate. Out of all of them Claire deserved to know what was going on. And being out of the loop was having very negative effects on all of them.
"So new roommate?" she redirected. Tony glanced around to make sure the rest of the team was truly gone before leaning against the wall next to her, being sure to keep his voice low.
"We're discussing it." he muttered, his eyes cutting to anywhere but her.
"What's there to discuss?"
"It's complicated." Ziva scoffed, rolling her eyes.
"Complicated, complicated, complicated." She muttered sourly.
"You know in America, I have noticed they use that word as a code for: If I explain it, you would not agree. Therefore, I'll use the word complicated and hopefully you will stop asking."
"That's pretty much it in a nutshell." He muttered tightly.
"Are you sure it's complicated because of your girlfriend? Or is there someone else keeping you from moving forward?" she asked pointedly. Tony clammed up, knowing she was talking about Claire.
"Why would it be someone else?"
"Because you do not want her to know about a relationship that seems very serious. I can't help but wonder why you would keep something like this from one of your closest friends. You say it's because she would react badly but I am not so sure. If she is your friend then she will support you, no?" Ziva pointed out, watching his reaction. He shook his head defiantly.
"I'll see what Abby wants." He deflected, taking a step away from her. Ziva was not about to let him leave that easily.
"Tony." She admonished gently, pulling him back.
"Ziva. If you're gonna give me advice on dating, I'm gonna need to get something out of my system first, okay?" Tony requested. After a beat a grin broke across his face as he began laughing. Ziva pursed her lips in annoyance and the man guffawed at the idea of her giving him love advice.
"Stop laughing or I will hurt you." she warned. Tony quickly settled down.
"I know what you're doing. You're hiding behind all these jokes. And I know what you're hiding from."
"Really? What's that?" Tony hummed, a false grin on his lips as he stared back at her.
"What everyone who is afraid to love hides from. Getting hurt." She told him seriously. The grin slowly slipped off his face. He didn't give her enough credit if she was able to peg that so quickly.
"It's not just me that I'm worrying about hurting, Ziva." He admitted. Tony didn't want to hurt Jeanne, who he had grown to care for as a friend. And ultimately, he didn't want to hurt Claire. If she found out he was dating and potentially moving in with another woman she would be devastated. He knew she was holding out for him to come back; she had told him that much when he initially broke it off with her. He couldn't do something so despicable like that to her. Just the thought made his insides crawl. He hated the men that played with women so viciously like that. If he was the cause of such hurt, he knew it would wound him deeply. There was just a no-win scenario in this. Ziva watched quietly as a flurry of deep emotions rushed across the man's face.
"That's because you're a good person." She told him honestly. Her heart went out to the man. Tony was obviously at odds with himself and was worried about what the relationship would hold. Whoever he was protecting was very important to him. She just wasn't 100% sure which party he was protecting the most.
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3rd Person POV:
That night after everyone had left the office, Tony was left alone. He frowned as he scanned through his personal emails, looking over the links to apartments that Jeanne had sent him. A heavy sigh left his lips as his head fell forward.
"Apartment listings?" a voice asked from behind him. Tony yelped in surprise, whirling around to see Claire looking at the screen with interest. He swallowed.
"What are you still doing here?" he asked with a small glare. She glanced down at him passively.
"Snooping." Tony's eyes narrowed at her honestly.
"Why?"
"Well how else am I supposed to figure out what's going on? No one else will talk to me." She pointed out sourly. Tony flushed at her words, realizing that things had officially gotten out of hand.
"So…..you're moving apartments? Any particular reason?" she inquired hesitantly, as if afraid he would shut down on her all over again. Tony bit his lip.
"Uh….I think so. It's just a thought right now." He grunted noncommittally. Claire rose a brow as she turned towards him.
"Why are you moving so far from work?...and who's Jeanne?" she asked, leaning in to look at the emails. Tony stood up to block her vision as he quickly exited out of his account. Blue eyes watched him intently as he jerked about.
"She's my real estate agent." He muttered quickly.
"Okay…..and why is she looking for places close to the university? Taking classes?" Claire pressed, seeing how far he would let her go. This was the most he had gotten out of him in a while. Tony glanced down at her sharply.
"No reason. I just like the area. Isn't that enough?" She narrowed her eyes at his defensiveness. The two stood in silence, waiting for the other one to break first. Claire nodded and turned away first. Tony, not wanting her to leave, decided to speak up. If he had a chance to talk with her he should take it.
"Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?" he inquired quietly, shuffling his feet as he waited. Claire rose a brow.
"Are you going to tell me about the 'dentist appointments' and the midday phone calls?" she inquired. Tony scowled.
"Nothing to tell. Just teeth talk and real estate." He mumbled unconvincingly. Claire nodded sharply.
"Then we have nothing else to talk about." She huffed. Tony blinked, his anxiety rising as he watched her start to walk off.
"Wait." He called, taking a few steps to follow her. Claire sighed and turned to face him.
"That's it? You have nothing else to say to me anymore?" he pressed. Claire threw her arms up in frustration.
"What else can I say? Tony, I know there is something going on that you aren't telling me. Apparently you are fine telling the others but for some reason I'm out of the loop. Honestly, I'm tired of this. I don't have the energy to fight you anymore. If you don't want to tell me why you're suddenly so secretive then fine. But I'm not pretending like things are okay anymore. Clearly they're not." She admitted heatedly, her voice falling flat as she finished. The two lapsed into silence once more. Tony frowned in anguish as he scanned over her exhausted expression. She truly was done trying to fight it. Had he taken it so far that they couldn't even talk anymore?
"I'm trying, just give me some time." He requested sadly. Claire's lips thinned into a bitter smile.
"I don't know if I can believe you anymore." She whispered, her eyes becoming wet with frustrated tears. Spinning back around she made her way out of the room, walking into the elevator. Tony stood there in the once again empty bullpen, his mind racing with what this all meant. He had pushed Claire to the end of her rope without even realizing it. Was all of this going to be for nothing? Had he already lost her for good? The vibration of his cell broke him out of his miserable thoughts. Sulking back over to his desk he looked down to see Jeanne's name flash across the screen. He didn't answer it.