Chapter 16: Deck the Ass just to be Jolly Fa La La La La La La La La~

Words: 4,304

Recap: So Dumbledore now knows about the Dementors. So does the rest of the school staff. And the Headmaster found out I'm here for a Quest. Oh, to top it off, he had the insane idea of being in a team to do the quest with me. Good luck getting my trust after drugging me for the truth.

"It's no use, I can't find any clues about how Dementors are made." Sev pulled his hair, his frustration evident as he threw another book to the 'useless' pile.

"It'd be a cause of concern if we could find it so easily," Lily sighed as she did the same on her end.

It has been a couple of months since our little 'adventure' in the Forest. Severus made it our mission to fulfill three tasks; mastering the Patronus Spell, finding out how the Rot works in hopes of reversing the curse and figuring out who is casting it.

The first task wasn't much of a problem since Rhea made a change in the curriculum by teaching all years the Patronus Spell by the time the second term begins. Though she explained it as something she decided on a whim, I have a feeling Dumbledore stressed the importance of making sure the children knew how to defend themselves if worse comes to worst.

There was no more random wildlife popping out within the castle, and there is definitely more than one complaint of wanting to see the magical creatures from the student body. For us, it only proved that the Centaurs were doing their best to round up the Dementors with the rest of the Forest's denizens.

But the second task was found to be stressful as we were struggling in a race against time before things go sideways.

"As I thought," Sev began, "We're gonna have to sneak into the Forbidden Section."

"Severus!" Lily sounded scandalous before sighing, head ducked down in defeatedly, "You may have a point, but let's shelve the idea of breaking the rules as a last resort, please. Can't we just sign a permission slip?"

"While most times I would agree with you Lily, but you forgot." He gestured between him and me, and it took me a moment to understand. One was a Slytherin, infamously known for their bad history in dark magic. The other was a Hufflepuff who just got out of the bad rumor of using dark magic.

Sev continued, "Even if you can theoretically get a permission slip for us, Lils, what excuse are we going to say? It's usually 5th to 7th years who use the Restricted Section for their research papers. It's not like we can just walk up and say 'Hullo Professor, would you kindly sign this form to access the Restricted Section? For what you ask? Oh, not much, just wondering about the creation of the most sinister creature to ever exist on the planet.'"

"Okay, okay, I get it, it was a stupid idea."

"I didn't say that."

I noticed the tension in our group rising for every day we failed to find answers. Especially the last task. While Sev and I had an inkling there was a dangerous individual within the walls of Hogwarts since the death of Professor Heckler. Lily was not happy to be the last one to find out so it didn't help with our dynamics.

"Honestly, I'd prefer if we just steal Potter's blanket and get it ourselves."

"Sev, your idea is even worse than mine."

And it's constant repeats of one bad idea after another between the three of us.

"Lookie here, guys!" Urgh, and this group of four only make things worse. "Evans! Aren't you a sight for sore eyes."

"And aren't you giving me sore eyes," she retorted swiftly, "Get lost, Potter. Can't you see we're busy?"

"Not really, you look lonely studying on your lonesome." The line was emphasized with him resting his elbow on the top of my head and Sirius practically shoving Sev down on the table like his personal pillow.

"Get off me!" Sev shoved the Black kid aside.

"Oh, Snivellius. Didn't see your fat head there."

"You must be blind if you can't even see this 'fat head' of mine."

"I only wish I was blind if I never need to see your greasy face again."

"Well, you—"

"Oh for the love of—" Lily cut in with a hard slam of her book, "Severus, don't listen to those stooges. And you four, why don't you pick on someone who's not willing to jinx your face into oblivion."

They are deeply chorused of "Oooooohhh" in response.

"Feisty, I like that in a girl." James leaned in forward in what I assumed was his attempt of a flirtatious smile. "Though I can't understand your choice of people, Evans. You can do better than hang out with these losers. There's nothing good about them other than asking for trouble."

"Wow, you are literally the last person I want to hear that from."

"I'm sure me and my boys can reconsider our stance if you're willing to be part of us."

Dude, where did he even learn this from? I'm pretty sure I wasn't this slick when I was thirteen. Sev was making a gagging noise in the background before Sirius slapped him upside his head, to which I immaturely kicked his shin and tripped him down while playing innocent.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, you can just charm me with those beautiful blue eyes and I'm aaaaaaall yours."

"My eyes are green, idiot."

There was an awkward pause before Remus tried and failed to stifle his giggle, triggering the whole table to burst out laughing at him while James turned into a blushing mess.

"If you guys are done, we would appreciate it if you go be stupid somewhere far, far away from us."

"No one asked your opinion, Snivellus."

"No, but we share his sentiments. Besides, what reason for you guys to be in the library, you can't expect me to believe you're studying… The Secret Success of Animagi for the Absolute Unqualified… what?"

"That's, that's none of your, none of your business, Prissy. Come on, gang. Let's go."

During the time we used to hunt information on Dementors, we've been seeing the Muskedorks around more often than we expected. We figured the library would have been a good deterrent, but for some reason, they were annoyingly studious these past few days. So we were forced to see their faces more often. I mean, as someone who was supposed to protect James that's good news but dam, he did not make this quest easy.

"Okay," Sev began, "Setting our annoyances aside, what are we supposed to do now?"

"I think… I have a solution to that but…"

"...but?"

"I really don't want to do it." Our last conversation ended awkwardly with me having asked only one personal question and that was mostly because I couldn't think of anything else, though it definitely hit a nerve I hadn't expected. But facing Dumbledore means finally responding to his query: do I want to form a team with him?

Setting aside the uncomfortably evident age gap between us, there's the thing about time-traveling, ominous divination from a goddess, not to mention the blatant manipulation he doesn't seem to be remorseful about, and I very much doubt it'd be the last. I bet my freaking sword that he has some shady stuff inside in his closet. It's only a matter of whether I'm asking the right question.

"Percy!" Sev raised his voice, making me jump on my seat "We're racing against time before we get souls sucked by the monstrosity where we lose everything that we are and don't even get the decency to go to the afterlife!"

"MISTER SNAPE!" Madam Pince shouted, making the three of us winced, "I expected those four rapscallions to disturb the sacred tranquility of the library, but I thought better of you."

"I'm, I'm sorry, Madam Pince."

"See to it that you don't make a repeat." After she made her leave, we gave a collective sigh of relief.

Lily turned to Sev, looking worried at his unusual outburst, "Severus…"

"I have some other work to do, " he was piling the books he took and shouldering his bag, "You two can continue without me." There wasn't time for either of us to refute before Sev turned away from us.

We watched his back disappear from sight before Lily gave me the stink eye. "I know, I know, I shouldn't have said that," I grumbled.

She was still glaring a second or two longer before heavily sighing, "Ever since then, Severus has been really on edge lately. I can't blame him. I've never seen Sev looking so… helpless."

"...what about you, Lils?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, I mean, are you still having nightmares? I'm worried. I know better what nasty dreams can do."

"Oh," Lils ducked her head, trying to hide her smile for some reason, "I'm good. I made a long series of letters with my parents, and it helps ease the fear a bit knowing they're the same as always… though I did hear something strange."

My back straightened, "You did?"

She nodded, "They've been having letters and calls to my house but apparently addressed to you."

"That doesn't sound suspicious at all."

"They said the other person sounded like a girl, and that they said there weren't hints of anything malicious from her, they just thought you have an enthusiastic fangirl."

"Are you sure they're for me?"

"There's not many people named Percy Jackson living in the middle of nowhere, Percy."

"I wouldn't say Cokeworth is nowhere, more of a Sleepy Hollow type of place."

"Sleepy where?"

"...nevermind."

A few days later, Hogsmeade was looking a lot more festive as Christmas was getting near. The festivity of the village reminded me of passing Times Square. All the bright lights and colorful Christmas decor. Some early birds were levitating Christmas trees to their homes. The garlands shifted from ribbons to bells as I passed by. The sweet, minty scent in the air from the burning candy cane candle floating around. I spotted a couple kissing in a corner and a mistletoe began self-growing itself above them.

It's like the whole village is screaming 'CHRISTMAS!' at your faces.

I was bright and early when I, uncharacteristically alone, went window shopping around the numbers of magic shops. Unfortunately, the cons of having commercial shops by the only wizarding school in England is that they mostly sold items in my (current) age group.

That changed when I almost tripped over a wasted man on the side of an alleyway, jolting the old man up. His snore stopped midway.

"Wha— huh— I don hav' no money."

"Pretty sure between the two of us, you need it more than I do," I couldn't help but quipped, "You shouldn't be sleeping out here at the open, Sir. You could die."

"Mind your own business, kid." The man stood with a grunt and came walking out from the shadows, making me froze.

"Dumbledore?"

"Hah? Who's asking?"

I was dumbstruck, my mouth failed to shape words at the sight of a homeless version of Dumbledore staring at me with an uncharacteristic displeased frown. But then I finally took a second look and realized he wasn't him. Excluding the unusual choice of clothing and terrible bedside manner; the lookalike in front of me had a shorter, unkempt beard like a goat had eaten it halfway overnight, and most evidently were his clouded eyes without a single twinkle that normally shown as much as hid the Headmaster's feelings.

"You're not the Headmaster."

"I most certainly not! Only Albus has the patience to manage an entire school filled with children."

Suddenly his identity clicked, "You're Aberforth."

"How do you know that? I doubt my arse of a brother would even mention a single lick of my name."

"Err…" I can't exactly answer that I saw him in a dream— wait! "I saw a vision of you in my dreams?" I said, sounding unsure in the end that it sounded more like a question.

"A little seer, are you?" He took my answer in a stride, I kept forgetting divination is a thing for wizards. "Urgh, I hate your kind."

Ooooookay, so Hobo-dore is bluntly rude instead of secretly rude… got it.

Then a woman came out from the tavern next to me, saw me with the old coot before she dragged me to her side without warning before shielding me protectively.

"What have you done this time Aberforth?" She spatted.

"Now that's hurtful, Rosie. How on earth could you possibly think—"

"You've lost all rights to say that when you kicked out children for insulting your goats!"

Oh great, another weirdo.

"Bah, that was decades ago."

"That was 10 days ago, you old goat!" Said the one I now recognized as Madam Rosmerta.

"Really? Well, I'm pretty sure they deserve it."

The bartender of the Three Broomstick looked halfway from jinxing the second Dumbledore. While I'm not all aware of the wizarding laws, I'm pretty sure assaulting an annoying old man would be wrong in any place.

"Err… Madam Rosmerta, I'm fine. We were just talking, that's all."

There was still a hint of doubt on her face, "If you're sure, honey," she finally relented.

By the time we got the misunderstanding cleared up, Aberforth had already walked away so I hurried after him.

"What do you want, brat? I'm not your Dumbledore, remember?"

"Yeah, but you're a Dumbledore, so that's good enough."

"Is that so?"

"What do you think would be a good Christmas present for him?"

Aberforth's steps faltered from the sudden burst of laughter that he had to hunch forward while holding his stomach like he was holding back diarrhea.

"Funny. What did you owe him?"

"Nothing, if anything he owes me."

This time his laughter was untethered and he had to hold on to the wall next to him before he toppled over. I was left perplexed, considering whether I should be worried that the old man was going to choke from laughing too much.

"That's a good one, brat. I'll give you that." He went toward the tavern across the street, a wild boar's severed head leaking blood into the white cloth around it, and I had second thoughts going in to follow him with that inauspicious decor.

I stood at the edge of the entrance. My feet stop short by the nauseating pile of dung and sawdust that assaulted my nose. One look at the dust covered floor and nearly opaque window, and I thought this must be how people with OCD felt all the time. A stray goat made me jump from trying to squeeze past me and started walking around the place like it owns it and Aberforth took it like it's a normal Tuesday.

"Come order a drink, it's on the house."

"I'm serious! I was thinking of giving him a present since…" he's been giving one as the only other family I have which I don't know if I should say, "...reasons and as a peace offering, but I don't really know what to give him. He's the kind of person who can have everything if he wants to."

"True, that bastard can just offhandedly comment what he wanted and people would flock to as if he was a saint." He complained as he went to the bar and pulled out a big mug from the shelf, "Bah, rubbish!"

For a moment, I thought he was going to say 'Humbug' which made me chuckle. "What do you usually give him for Christmas?"

"Huh, who, me? I just gave him whatever I had on hand. Last year I think I gave him a piece of sock."

"You mean a pair of socks?"

"I know what I said."

Yeah, I figured. "So I'm assuming you don't have a great sibling relationship."

"Under-bloody-statement." He slid a mug to my side that I gratefully took. But then I looked down at the murky drink and the crawling worm in my glass gave me shivers. I waited for Aberforth to turn his back before I secretly gave the drink to the goat, who drank it with gusto. "Our blood is the only reason I call him brother. I would have cut my ties with him long ago."

"O…kay… ignoring that excessive response, why can't you cut ties with him?"

"As much as I hate Albus, family is family. I don't intend to turn my back no matter how hard living with them is. Never have, never will." The younger Dumbledore's gaze was locked on to the moving portrait of a cheerful blonde girl that I only just noticed. It was a shock to see a colorful, light painting like that being hanged behind the counter of a seedy bar like this.

"Who's she?"

"Ariana, my… our sister."

"Oh." Dumbledore has a sister too? "She's pretty."

"She's dead."

"Oooh."

"Yeah, wasn't a happy day for any of us. Should have killed that son of a bint instead of letting him fail to do the deed."

"Err, I don't think it's wise to spout murder plan out in the open."

"Relax, everyone can agree that Gellert Grindelwald isn't someone to cry over."

"Gellert… wait…. GRINDELWALD?!" I jumped off my seat, and the goat next to me scurried off with a loud bleat. "You mean Gellert is that Grindelwald?!"

"Yeeeeeees?" He looked unsure because of how shook I must have been.

So the guy in my dream was Grindelwald? The super scary Dark Lord that got the wizarding world in a tizzy? Well, he did get the whole obnoxiously self-righteous but sinister monologue down. But boy, did the dream have a whole new twist in it.

It's a shocking fact. Profounding even. There's just one problem.

"Yeah, that still doesn't answer my question. I'm searching for a good present, not his backstory."

"If you can't think of anything, just give him some muggle stuff."

"He likes muggle stuff?"

"No," was Aberforth's prompt answer before further explaining, "Not really. He doesn't care about muggles. But he oddly likes to take his time learning about them. So far the only decent thing he seemed to like is their sweets."

I considered his words and a light bulb moment came over me. I slid out of the chair to start running back to school, but not before waving goodbye.

"Thanks for the advice, gotta go, see ya when I see ya, Aberforth."

"Don't count on it, Percy Jackson."

The parting occupied my head on my way back, not sure whether I had told him my name or not. But I was too into writing a lengthy letter to the Evans Family with a list of items I needed them to buy.

By next week, I was back to Hogsmeade with a different set of aims as I skimmed the window panes of various magic shops. Other students were slowly filling up the vacant streets, not even the cold could stop them from shopping for Christmas presents as the holiday drew near.

I was looking through Zonko's when something in the reflection of the shop caught my eyes; an inhuman figure hidden within the shadows between buildings. I thought about the chaos it havocs around the village.

But the figure was gone when I turned.

I made my way to the alley it was in, searching for any sign of its presence. Confused at the sudden disappearance, I was about to walk away when a deep growl sent a shiver through my skin. I turned to find the alleyway entrance was blocked by a three-headed dog baring their teeth.

"Cerberus? What is he doing here?"

There wasn't time for me to come up with an answer before it lunged, ready to make a chew toy out of my head. I rolled upfront, dodging through going underneath it and ending up with our place switched.

"Yo, shouldn't you be guarding the gates of the afterlife? Wouldn't want Hades to put up a missing dog poster, you know."

The three heads took turns trying to snap me in half this time. I had no problem dodging each head, but it didn't help me close the distance. That's the thing about having multiple heads: they've got a wider range to cover themselves.

"Are you even the actual Cerberus? Or maybe you're just some common three-headed hound." For all I know, they could be their son, son, and son. Or their daughter, daughter, and whatever, but that doesn't roll off the tongue much. Maybe son, daughter and—

One head snapped at me too fast and it gave me the opening to sidestep near its undefended neck. "You want to play so much? I've got one; play DEAD!" I lifted Riptide and swung with all my strength downward.

But then the curious thing happened as my sword only seemed to slide off with nary a graze wound when I should have decapitated it.

"What?" 'What was that? Is the Door of Death opened again? No, that can't be it, at least the monster would have turned to dust first before it instantly reformed, so how…?'

The lag from my surprise gave the middle head the chance to grip my sword with its mouth. It tried to pull Riptide from my hand, but I held on hard enough that I was lifted up from the ground and was hanging by the grip of my sword, between two hangry dog heads.

"I don't think this is how you should play fetch!"

I deftly pulled myself up before the left head managed to take a bite of my butt. I managed to swing aside from another bite from the right. Then I had to suffer by the middle one shaking me like its personal chew toy.

"Alright, it's been great hanging with you guys but I'm gonna have to take a raincheck."

I kicked the left dog on the snout and used it as a foothold to jump-kick the right dog in the eye. Then finished it up with a mighty double kick under the middle dog's jaw, forcing it to whine and letting go of Riptide.

I fell and tried to land on my feet, but I misstep my landing, almost spraining an ankle if I hadn't shifted my stance. I let my whole body pull down by gravity before rolling over, and got on my hasty feet. The momentum kept me moving back until I was out the alley, and felt myself crash into the next person unfortunate enough to pass the alley at this time.

"Ow! Watch where you're going— Prissy?!"

"You guys, again?" I was looking just as shocked for running into them at Hogsmeade, especially with a sword in my hand again.

James opened his mouth but then his eyes glanced down at Riptide before pointing with an 'Aha!' look on his face. "Aha! Caught red-handed, You were fighting again, weren't you?!"

"Caught red— what are you even catching me for?"

"You're probably doing something nefarious behind our backs! Something from within this alley, am I right?" He rushed to the said narrow, and I had to quickly block him before he got himself eaten.

"Err… I don't think that's a good idea."

James curled his lips, he and Sirius were quick to draw their wands out and aimed at my face. "Don't tell me what to do, Jackson."

"Guys… there's nothing here," I heard Remus called out, and I turned shocked to find him slip by me and saw how he was standing alone between the two walls.

"That's…" impossible. Unless someone forgot to clue me in that any dogs from the underworld can shadow travel. I looked around, but couldn't even find signs of our fight.

James narrowed his eyes as if the lack of monsters is somehow my fault. "You're hiding something, I know you are." He thrust his wand and I had to lean back to keep it from shoving up my nose. "Fess up!"

I mean, he's not wrong. "Look, I don't want any trouble, okay? Why can't we settle this peacefully?" I turned my gaze to the village and hoped it wasn't going to pop out and scared the villagers.

"Peace was never an option," Sirius retorted seriously. Too serious if you asked me for something he came up with on the fly.

"Did you practice that line on the mirror or something?"

"Shut-shut up! What's it to you?"

"I think you were excellent there."

"Thank you, James."

"Anytime, Sirius."

I rolled my eyes and took that moment to put Riptide back into a pen behind my back and shoved it in my pocket. "Look, you see there's nothing there. So how about we each get on with our days without making a scene."

"You probably hid something bad anyway. Well, you might think of us fools—"

"More like delusional."

"—but we will not stand by and leave you to your rotten ways!" He pointed a finger at me, back straight and chest puffed to make himself taller, and even had his chin up insufferably.

What are they, children?! Oh, wait...

James' loud proclamation gathered a small crowd, circling us at the commotion we're… well, mostly what they're making. Whispers of excitement were traded between them while pointing at us. Their faces were mixed between concern and eager mischief at the signs of trouble they came across.

"It's time we expose you once and for all," the literal child said.

"Expose me of what? You have nothing on me."

"I challenge you to a duel! Right here, right now. If I win, you'll tell everyone who you really are."

I rolled my eyes at his insistence and would have brushed him off if not for an idea that hit me. "Alright, but if I win. I want you to stop harassing me and leave me alone."

James bared his teeth with his smile and the two of us shook on it, "Deal."

AN: I can't believe you guys read this far after the rant I just gave. I am so embarrassed because that's not even brief.

Anyway, my internship took most of my time and this chapter wasn't even easy to write because I used all my epic scenes quota at the moment.

Alright, so on to the QR&A where I answered your questions and thank your luvs.

123wwww: I was not at my tip-top shape while writing that last part. Other than that, thank you for the luv.

LeHomoSapien: That's not gonna happen anytime soon, at least not without a Chinese friend that understand the context of the culture, otherwise you have the disaster I've mention above.

aarna rastogi: So about the review, I've decided to send it to you through PM later and... well... look. It's around 2k and I gave warning at the start of the message, read it and hopefully, you don't weep. Thank you so much for your nice and encouraging words. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Patolemus: I'm so happy you love the best part that I believe was the best part that I like. Even sweet Severus has a line he would draw for Lily. Everyone does.

Yeah, fairies think making you disappear for decades are funny so I recommend staying away from their home.

Don't worry. we'll have Fairy-Regulus moment hopefully at the next scene. Technically speaking.

I mean, Remus had one of his off nights in the woods and was late for class, basically. Dude, you gotta learn to read between the lines.

Thank you for the luv, by the way. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

snowsTorm18000: Yeah, I'm sad too. But the internship is doing well. And I feel you for Sev and Percy, the difference is I get to write it hehehe. And no, no update from Percy's timeline because time barely moves by the time I have him back to the present so...

anyway, thank you for the luv.

Slenderbrine: WKWKWKWKWKWK XD

SandaKagami: Some things about Dumbly should stay quiet, let him have a bit of privacy, let's give him that XD. And while sharing info is a good virtue, I will not let Dumbly be reasonable muahahahaha. Urgh, Remus, I had plans for him at the start of the Act but I changed it so now I'm confused of what I'm going to do with him for this year.

Stjinbus: Sorry for that XD, anyway I recommend you try searching for the Gellert-Albus duel in youtube since I based the setting and Ariana's there. I'm so glad you love my fanfic so much and hope you keep enjoying it. Be careful not to be too excited that you fell off your chair.

Why would anyone want to kidnap Grover anyway XD

zoomingaway: The teachers were ready for war XD Everyone loves Sev and Lily's banter and you nailed their character. Of course, Dumbledore tries to be fabulous in bed. And do you know how hilarious it was to read you write "Well at least he gave him tea. Brownie points" I was like "Oh boy, she didn't know yet." and literally before I read the next line. Funniest thing I've read from all my reviews. And please... Dumbledore wishes he'd be Gandalf.

Don't accept Dumbledore's action. You're enabling him! Be angry, don't let his soft, logical words get the better of you.

I'm glad you love the preach, I did my best trying to resonate with the current social justice problem just a bit sO I'm glad you point that out.

And the marauders, they are jerks, but jerks who has each other backs. As my beta say, they are the personification "me and the boys" meme.

Yes, Lauren Lopez was gold in those musical. I can't decide whether to like Voldemort or her. But oh God, Lucius dance moves are too elegant not to be in my top three.

Thank you for the luv, I'm looking forward for new hashtags in your review.

scl04: Young Severus only has brief cameo so that's not to say the two never has meaningless fights. I mean, I get to fight with my friend all the time but we know we respect each other that even if we disagree, it wouldn't cut our friendship. That's the kind of fight for later acts.

Percy and Dumbledore has Half-Blood solidarity wkwkwkw. Anything they do to each other is fair game I guess? Aberforth had a bad opinion of his brother when Albus spent his time more with Gellert than his family, but holds a grudge after the conflict leads to Ariana's death.

I'm glad you love REmus-Marauders bonding moment. They desereve some positive attention one in a while.