AIRSTRIKE IMPOSSIBLE - 2

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At least she reached the foothills of the mountains before night set in.

At least the harsh desert terrain had given way to thickets of vegetation and the opportunity to find water. At least she still had two full cycles to figure out exactly what she was searching for, find it, and then meet her comrades at the rally point.

At least, she thought to herself as she waited for Poe to stop speaking on his end of the comlink, she could tell him she'd taken out the TIE.

"Of course I've removed the threat," Rey held the comlink with one hand and her thrumming saber to a pyramid of dry vegetation with the other. "I'm sorry Poe, I'm a bit distracted right now. Trying to start a fire. It's fracking freezing and I'm in the middle of… nowhere…"

The brambles caught alight with a sudden whoosh and Rey jumped back. "Look, just focus on your mission, and let me focus on mine. I'll talk to you when I have something to report."

She shoved the comlink back into her satchel and returned her attention to the fire. And once she'd crafted the fire into a steady blaze, she returned her attention to the darkness beyond it.

She wondered if Poe would forgive her for the lie.

Sleep, when it came, was fractured and uneasy.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him.

The look on his face as she raised the saber replayed in her mind like a broken holoprojector. She relived the array of emotions that had, in that closing moment, collided like Force-waves against her. Fear, betrayal, anger, sadness, acceptance...

He had thought she intended the strike for him.

It was his acceptance that wounded her the most.

By the time the first deep tangerine fingers of sunrise began to reach across the sky, Rey was already slinging her satchel over her shoulder and striking a path across the increasingly ascending terrain.

Upwards, into the rocky mountains.

Upwards, in whatever direction that Force-strong tug in her stomach led her.

The planet awoke as the sun warmed the frigid air. Scaly insects scuttled across rapidly-heating rock. Small desert-brown birds chirped to each other as they hunted them. The wind picked up speed and blew small dust tornadoes through towering rock formations. Stones and grit scattered across the path with each billowing gust until the sounds merged into a constant white noise.

The rock formations may have been different, but the desert was as familiar here as it had ever been on Jakku.

So when the sounds all came to a sudden grinding halt - when it felt as if the very universe itself was holding in a giant breath - Rey knew the moment she had simultaneously feared and longed for was finally playing out.

The Force had built a bridge between them once more.

"You destroyed my fighter."

There was no anger in his voice. He'd followed her footsteps through the desert long enough to have worked through his emotions. Though the words tore ragged from his lips. As if he'd been screaming into the wind.

Rey swallowed her retort. If she knew anything about Kylo Ren - and she'd learnt much about the Supreme Leader this past year - screaming into the wind was probably precisely what he'd been doing. Alongside carving up what remained of his craft with his lightsaber.

Oh, except she still had that belted to her waist. How frustrating for him.

"I saved you." She returned at last. Her gaze fixed on the Force-blurred haze of dunes at his back. Her eyes refused to acknowledge him.

"Do you think by freeing me from the wreckage, you saved me?"

How wrong Rey had been when she assumed he'd worked through his emotions. His rage surged through the Force. Rolling and recoiling. Lashing her in waves. Fury. Betrayal. Abandonment. Distrust. Revenge. And between it all, the slow throbbing ache of loneliness. Such loneliness...

She could feel all of it envelop her. Embrace her. Smother her. Press against her until she had no choice but to sink to her knees.

"What are you doing to me?" The words hissed between grinding teeth. She cut them off before she could call him Ben. Ben Solo was dead. He'd made that clear in Snoke's throne room.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

She could almost imagine an edge of concern to his voice. Almost envision him stepping forward, one hand extended in concern.

But when she raised her head, he was standing tall. Unflinching. Desert dunes at his back. Wind billowing his cape around his legs. Expression impregnable. Except for every soul-torn emotion she was being assaulted by, reflecting in those damned eyes.

"Shut it off!" She cried, struggling to her feet as her own fury rose. "I don't want this! I don't want to feel everything you feel!"

Surprise raised his brow. "These aren't my feelings." He paused. Reflective. "They're your own."

She ground her jaw against the angry sobs that begged release. Clenched her fingers into her palms until the nails cut in. Felt the dust tornados swirl around her once more.

He had gone. But his words hung in the air. A dark force residue.

As Rey brushed ineffectively at the dirt that marred her crisp white clothes, she stared at the discoloured fabric and wondered at the symbolism.

Perhaps the dark force residue that remained was, after all, her own.

tbc