Warning: PTSD, infertility issues, and descriptions of violence. Buckle up, this one is a bumpy ride.
To Sacrifice the Sun
Chapter Four
September 16, 2016
11:14
Temple of the Sun
Palenque Ruins, Mexico
The gorgeous and complex Mayan fresco covered an entire wall of the Temple of the Sun. And it looked...
Exactly the same as it had six years ago.
It depicted the most complete history known to the modern world of Kin Cuudad, the City of the Sun, now referred to as the Lost City of the Sun. Felicity had examined, analyzed, and picked it apart over a hundred of times. And the only conclusion she could come to, now, was…she probably could have recreated it at home, she remembered it so well. Or on the way to the Door, which would have been a better use of their time.
The fresco told the story of Palenque's creation. Not of its greatest leader, Pacal, the king who everyone knew and remembered. No, this was the story of their first king, Cadmeal. He was depicted as a direct descendant of Kinich Ahau, the Sun God himself, the child of a woman they called the Child of the Sun and a man whose name roughly translated to the Warrior King or the Sun Warrior.
According to the story told here, the Sun God and the Lord of the Underworld fought over the great city, each claiming it as their own, raining down fire and brimstone (possibly literally. It was widely believed that this was a volcano) on Kin Cuudad. In the center of the fresco, Kinich Ahau reached down amongst the destruction and lifted the young prince out and delivered him to the site they were sitting now, where Cadmeal built the great city of Palenque.
Given all the Sun God had done for them, one would think that this temple would be the center of the city, its greatest tribute, but it was dwarfed by the Temple of Inscriptions, the tomb of King Pacal, the ruler who had, centuries later, brought Palenque to the pinnacle of greatness in the Mayan world.
So this incredible fresco was buried on a back wall of this small-er temple. Though, even without it, this would be Felicity's favorite spot in Palenque. The walls inside the temple were built in what looked, at first glance, to be strange angles, but actually allowed in rays of sunlight that created patterns which marked the most important days of Mayan life, Summer Solstice and the Fall Equinox, when to plant and when to harvest.
The geometry and the science were beautiful in their eloquence and masterful in their execution.
But elegant or not, there was nothing about a key. Hell, there wasn't anything about a Door. As far as this particular history was concerned, Kin Cuudad was gone for good. Wiped off the face of the Earth.
"Cait, tell me you me you've found something," Felicity called out, frustrated, as she pushed her sweaty hair off her forehead. Damn humidity was as bad as she remembered.
While Felicity studied the fresco and Sara and Curtis worked to leverage out the false floor that led to the belly of the temple (someplace Felicity had never stepped foot in before and, therefore, the reason for this little detour to Palenque), Caitlin used a scanner programmed with an algorithm Felicity had developed to analyze any other hieroglyphs in the temple to see if there were any additional clues to Kin Cuudad. It was a long shot, but no stone left unturned and all that.
"Define 'something'?'" Caitlin called back, making Felicity groan.
"Is there a definition I could give where the answer would be 'yes'?"
"Ummmm. Do you want to know about the wonder of the world that is corn?"
"Ooo corn," Curtis called out before Felicity had a chance to answer. "Corn is rather wonderful. Tasty. Anyone else hungry?"
Hysterical. Really. Just what she needed. "Didn't we just eat?" Felicity gripped, using her glasses to scan the fresco for any hidden crevices.
"No, Felicity," Curtis and Caitlin replied together, in perfect synchrony, with the same long-suffering tone. Felicity just rolled her eyes. Just because she wasn't a bottomless pit like the rest of them…
"Well, it will have to wait," Sara called out, interrupting the bickering. "I think we finally have this. Curtis?"
Felicity heard a creak and a loud grinding noise as the stone gave way and she leaned around the wall to watch Curtis and Sara leverage the slab free. Triathlete or not, Curtis was short of breath and sweating by the time they were done. Of course, it was 90 something degrees in here with a similar humidity.
One would have thought that Digg would have left them with say…one or two of the men with tree-trunk arms, but there wasn't much room in the temple, so the CO had decided they could make do with three scientists and their most 'compact' Special Ops, while the others set up camp and secured the parameter.
Secretly, Felicity felt that Digg was making sure she was only left in close quarters with the people she felt most comfortable with and that thought caused guilt to flare as she watched Sara and Curtis struggle with the enormous stone floor. If she was more together, they may have been given a more appropriate job, while Oliver and Slade dealt with the two-ton limestone slab.
"You guys okay?" Felicity asked, leveraging herself up to her feet.
They leaned the heavy stone against the back wall and Sara stood, stretching her back and shoulders. "Easy peasy," she smiled, brushing the dust off her calloused hands.
Curtis, on the other hand…poor guy, was bent over double, huffing. "Yeah. Easy..." he broke off in a coughing fit, "peasy." Then, when he tried to stand up, he banged his head on the ceiling. "Ow!"
"You're going to have to get used to crouching, Curtis," Caitlin told him sympathetically. "The typical Mayan wasn't as tall as you."
"Now you tell me?" he grumbled, rubbing his head through his frizzier than usual mop. Felicity would have thought that Curtis' hair created enough of a cushion to protect him from the usual bumps and bruises.
"You want me to find a rope ladder, Felicity?" Sara asked, leaning over and squinting down into the dark hole as Felicity joined her at the edge. A deep black cavity in the ground. Lovely. "I don't see any steps but...hey, Curtis…?"
"Way ahead of you." Grinning, Curtis pulled out one of his spheres, pressed the button, and tossed it into the hole, illuminating the space.
Thank goodness. Felicity breathed a sigh of relief as the shadows disappeared.
Sara whistled. "That glow ball's pre-tty nice."
"It's an Illumni—"
"Whatever," she brushed off, making Felicity smile despite it all. Sara sat down at the edge of the opening, her feet dangling in as she examined the chamber more closely. "Nope. Definitely no steps. Felicity?"
Felicity crouched at the edge and peered down, considering her options. She hated rope ladders. She was just too damn uncoordinated to use them properly. "Twelve feet, you think?" At Sara's nod Felicity sat on the edge and pushed off. Easy peasy.
"Felicity!" Curtis squeaked.
"I wasn't always a Cave Geek, Curtis," Felicity called up after landing cleanly, standing and brushing off her hands. Digg and Oliver had taken great care to make sure she knew how to land on her feet. And it was easier to manage (and less humiliating) than a damn rope ladder. "Cait?"
"On my way."
Caitlin dropped down next to her and Curtis, "Eep"ed. Lord. Slade was going to have a field day with him. But to his credit, Curtis cleared his throat and asked, "You guys need any help down there?"
"There's not a lot of room." Felicity looked up to see Curtis pout and restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Field work was still all flash and glory for him. She missed those days. "But your illumin—ball thing is awesome," she placated. And it was. Lit up every nook and cranny, made it a lot less claustrophobic. "This would have helped in Tikal," she muttered to Caitlin.
But all she got in response was a nod and a frown, leaving Felicity to wonder if Caitlin was going to a dark place. But they were both professionals and the sooner they finished, the sooner they could get out of there, so they got to work searching the…box. Because that's what it was. A deep, wide box.
There were what looked like four tombs against one wall. Completely unadorned stone boxes, which meant they probably weren't royalty. Priests, maybe? Felicity had no desire to see 3000-year-old corpses, even if she could open them. She'd need muscle if she wanted to try, so she'd worry about that later.
While Felicity and Caitlin searched for hieroglyphics…frescoes…carvings…anything, Sara dangled her feet from the ceiling and made the occasional sarcastic comment, usually directed at Curtis, who must be lying on the floor of the temple. All Felicity could see was his head and his ridiculous hair and his hands forever in motion, as they stuck out over the entrance, twelve feet up.
Curtis kept up a running commentary, peppered with 'helpful' suggestions. It became increasingly annoying as Felicity grew more and more frustrated. It wasn't that she was expecting to find a huge skeleton key with a sun etched into it, but there was…nothing.
Not a single carving. No hieroglyphic to translate. No communications of any kind. It was basically an empty box.
Why bother building it, if they weren't going to use it? It must have held something at some point. Of course, there had been millennia for it to be emptied out. Maybe that skeleton key had gone with them?
Or maybe the Mayans had just used it to store corn.
Finally, after searching every square inch, Felicity turned to Cisco's clever glasses and spent another half-hour reexamining the blank stone walls, first looking for air-pockets where something may be hidden. When that resulted in nothing, she tried the infra-red setting. Again…nothing. Such a fraking waste of time.
"This reminds me of the time—"
"Curtis! So, not helpful right now," Felicity snapped, pushing back the sweaty dusty disgusting mess that was falling out of her ponytail. Why had she even bother straightening it?
"Upp, Cranky!Felicity! You know what time it is?" Curtis sang and if Felicity had something to throw at him (preferably something large and painful) she would have.
But then, Curtis appeared with an ARGUS issue energy bar and her water bottle and Felicity grudgingly held out her hands for both. They could use a break anyway.
"Is this a thing?" Sara asked, intelligent eyes taking in the scene. "A food thing?"
"Yup," again Curtis and Caitlin spoke together, making Felicity scowl. Had they always been this annoying? And why did they only ever seem to be on the same page when they were trying to irritate her?
"Felicity needs to be fed," Curtis explained. "She wouldn't remember otherwise."
Grunting, Felicity snapped, "I'm not a dog," then preceded to open her energy bar with her teeth. She pushed back the impulse to growl at him.
"Unless it's ice cream," Cait added. "She never forgets her ice cream."
Felicity decided to ignore the conversation and hope it went away. She sat against the wall and drank her water. Maybe she was starting to feel a little better, not that she'd ever admit it. She closed her eyes chewed, trying to block them out.
"So this is a new thing?"
"Felicity didn't always forget to eat?"
Blocking them out wasn't easy. Unfortunately.
"She used to feed us," Sara explained. As if Felicity wasn't right there. Three feet from Caitlin. Trapped in a stone box. "She was a total mom."
"I'm right here," Felicity muttered. Loudly. Not opening her eyes.
Had she been the mom of the group? Felicity hadn't thought so, but she did try to make sure her team was healthy and cared for. She supposed she had been kind of…nurturing. Whole lot of good that did her now. Any mom instincts she had were a complete waste.
Felicity squeezed her eyes more tightly closed, anything to stop thinking about that. The food and water helped. She was starting to feel calmer and clearer.
Then Curtis' big dumb face appeared again and he blew it all to hell.
"So this was a bust. I know what will make us feel better. A little gossip, huh, huh?"
Seriously. Felicity loved Curtis, but what the hell was wrong with him?
"So…Felicity…?"
Aw damn. Really? Wasn't her body language clear enough? Didn't it scream 'Leave me alone!'
"What's going on with Mr. Tall-Gorgeous and Dangerous?"
He was just trying to be cute, Felicity reminded herself. Curtis has no idea what he was doing. He meant no harm. It was becoming increasingly difficult to remember, however, so she repeated it twice more.
Felicity clenched her teeth and climbed to her feet, pleading, "Please, stop calling him that." She dusted herself off, even though it would take a power washer to remove the dust and grime at this point.
Was there anything else worth examining down here or should they call it a day? There were other spots in Palenque that were worth a look. Possibly.
"Will you tell us if I do?" Curtis wheedled. He was such a child. One who had no idea what he was playing at.
"Frak off, Curtis," Felicity gritted out, trying to strike a balance between over-the-top-pissed-off and a simple don't-mess-with-me. Though, if he kept pushing he was going to feel her wrath, whether she liked it or not. It was hot, they were going nowhere, and she wasn't telling this…pest anything.
"You wound me," Curtis groaned with a melodramatic hand over his heart.
He still didn't get it. Really. Truly.
Curtis did seem to understand that Felicity's lips were sealed, though, because he turned to Sara. "You were there all those years ago. You must know something. How did true love go south?"
Felicity shared a look with Caitlin, who looked like she was about ready to rip Curtis a new one, all Felicity needed to do was say the word. But Felicity just shook her head and sighed, not really wanting a scene. This would be an awful place to have a panic attack. Thankfully, all she was feeling right then was irritated. She'd like to keep it that way.
Sara shrugged. "Don't look at me. Felicity and Mr. Tall-Gor—no, sorry, can't use the name. Even if it does annoy Felicity. It just makes me cringe."
That made Felicity chuckle, which was amazing in and of itself. She supposed this was becoming the new normal. She didn't know what she expected when her old friends and the new ones collided, but it was interesting to say the least.
Instead of addressing their nonsense, Felicity went to check out the tombs. Maybe she should give them more attention.
"Felicity and Ollie," Sara said, emphasizing her personal nick-name for Oliver and not Curtis', "walked into the Temple of the Great Jaguar all heart eyes and pink fluffy unicorns and walked out," she gestured helplessly, "just over."
So they were still talking about this, huh? Looking up, Felicity leveled Sara a stare from 12 feet below. "Sara, you and I didn't walk out of anywhere. We were airlifted out unconscious."
Because this wasn't a cute little anecdote. It wasn't gossip. This was the worst night of their lives and Felicity wasn't going to pretend it wasn't.
"Point," Sara conceded.
"Actually," Caitlin broke in, her voice strangely heavy, her stare blank as she leaned against the wall. "Felicity, Oliver carried you out of the Temple. And, um, Sara, I helped Slade get you out. Normally, he could have done it by himself, of course. But…the red lightning…his skin…" She gestured to the right side of her face, her hand trembling. "He seemed to be in a lot of pain."
Felicity froze where she was crouched next to a tomb and…she couldn't seem to do more than stare at Caitlin. She'd never…she…
"You never told me," Felicity breathed.
Caitlin gave a weak shrug, her eyes troubled, almost lost, as she sank down to sit on the ground. "You didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about it…"
Felicity had no idea what to say to that. Other than to acknowledge that it was true. She had spent enormous amounts of energy actively avoiding talking about that night.
Then there was a loud thud and Felicity was saved from having to do anything by Sara, who crouched in front of Cait and laid a hand on her shoulder, whispering, "You don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to."
A single tear slipped over Cait's eyelashes, leaving a dusty trail down her cheek and she gave a shaky smile. "I think…I think I want to." Then her eyes flicked over to Felicity. "That is if you—?"
"You should talk if you want to. If it helps, then I can…I mean, I want to hear," Felicity babbled, trying to find the right thing to say, the thing that would help Caitlin the most. Though she wasn't sure she did want to hear. She wasn't sure at all.
But at the same time…Felicity's mind was already fixated on the image of Oliver carrying her out of that massive temple.
It would have been night by then. Had there been any light at all? Felicity couldn't remember if there was a moon that night. Had they both been covered in blood? Had he been crying? He never would have shown it, but he must have been so scared.
When Caitlin started to talk again, it felt like a slap, snapping her away from one horrible image and giving her other.
"Lyla helped support Digg and he managed to limp halfway out before he collapsed," Caitlin continued, her voice empty. "We…um…Oliver had to go back for him. He was really the only one who could. He, uh…" Cait turned her eyes to Felicity again. "He really didn't want to leave you, but we couldn't leave Digg inside, so…so I held your wound…"
Caitlin's voice cracked and she stopped to take a deep breath as Felicity's feet collapsed under her and she landed with a plop on the hard dirt.
"I held your wound while we waited for the helicopter. Though Oliver was back long before it arrived. It barely felt like he was gone a second. I have no idea how he got out of those tunnels so fast, carrying a 200lb man on his back no less…but he did. And I'll never forget the look on his face…" Meeting Felicity's eyes, Caitlin told her, "It was like he was certain you would die the moment you were out of his sight."
Felicity pressed the back of her hand against her mouth, but it didn't stop the sob from escaping. There was another thunk and then Curtis was in front of her, stumbling and falling to his knees.
"Now how are we going to get out of here, you big dumb idiot?" Sara drawled, her arm around Caitlin, a patronizing look leveled on Curtis.
"Ohhh, ah…" Curtis blinked, looking up at the hole above him, well out of reach.
"It's okay," Felicity murmured, reaching out her hand to him. "She's just playing with you." Curtis looked over at Sara and she winked back. "You can boost one of us out. And if that doesn't work…" Felicity tapped her ear.
"Comms. Right." Curtis relaxed, a small smile back on his face, though this one was more empathetic than anything, and Felicity pulled on his hand until he sat next to her, holding tight as she gestured for Caitlin to continue.
"Right," Caitlin took her cue, blowing out a breath. "The helicopter came and took you two, since you were the worst off…of those who were, you know, alive." Her tears were falling freely now. "Oliver had a hard time letting go but, well, he couldn't fit in the copter and…and someone needed to go back…we…I didn't want a stranger to go back for Ronnie, so I asked and...he just went."
Of course, he did. Oliver would never have left Ronnie there, even if it was too late to save him. God, Felicity didn't know if she could stand much more of this story. How did Caitlin live with it? How did she function with these memories? She was stronger than Felicity had realized.
"It took Oliver a lot longer than it had when he went for Digg. A lot longer. Maybe because he didn't have Felicity to rush back for or because Ronnie was deep inside the chamber whereas Digg was half-way out, but I…part of the tunnel had collapsed and I kept thinking…fearing…what if it collapsed with Oliver in there? What if I'd just sent him back to die? After everything—?"
"But you didn't," Sara insisted, her voice firm. "Oliver is fine."
Physically, maybe. But Felicity knew he was anything but fine. Hadn't been in a longtime. But that wasn't Caitlin's fault. Felicity wanted to comfort her, but her throat had closed up. To tell her, if anything, having a task, doing something for his friend's wife in the wake of the tragedy…probably helped Oliver. But all Felicity could manage was a (hopefully) reassuring smile when Caitlin looked at her and reached out her free hand for her friend to grab.
"No, he made it," Caitlin agreed, her hand squeezing Felicity's. "Oliver brought me Ronnie and I'll always be so grateful." She turned her face into Sara's shoulder as the tears really started to pour.
There was a beat of silence where all Felicity had was her churning stomach and her ricocheting thoughts. Then Curtis spoke, "I'm so sorry. I promise, no more flippant jokes about five years ago." He crossed his heart with his finger and Felicity almost smiled. "Clearly, I was wrong about it being gossip."
Sniffling, Caitlin wiped her face with her arm and gave him a tremulous smile. "I don't know, I have hope that Oliver and Felicity will still be gossip worthy one day."
"Cait," Felicity warned, but it held no bite. Her mind was still reeling and she didn't have it in her to be harsh with Caitlin. She didn't even have the energy to be annoyed at Curtis, either. So instead, she leaned into his long comfortable body.
"If anyone deserves to be happy it's you two," Caitlin squeezed her hand again and Felicity had the frightening thought that she was counting on Felicity's love story to end happily since her own was so tragic.
But her and Oliver…they'd already had their ending and it wasn't pretty. Felicity sighed and tried again, "Cait—"
Sara interrupted this time, asking, "Do you mind telling us how the hell we beat Reiter? Because no one seems to know and the last thing I remember was our asses being handed to us. After that it all goes black." This was clearly something that had been bothering Sara for some time. Felicity didn't begrudge her the question, even if she didn't want to know the answer.
Caitlin pushed herself up. "Oliver never told you?" She sounded surprised.
Felicity wasn't. If it took Cait five years to talk about it, Oliver would take this story to his grave.
Sara gave Caitlin a meaningful look that told Felicity she, at least, understood that. "Ollie walked out of the debrief with Digg and Waller and as far as I know, he's never spoken of it since."
Felicity shuddered. How had she not known any of this? She really had been hiding under a rock. She'd been so selfish. The only person's pain she had recognized was her own. And maybe Caitlin's. But, god, Oliver had gone through all of this alone. And the one person he would have turned to, Felicity, had abandoned him.
She had spent years avoiding thinking about that night. All thoughts about it were involuntary and quickly shut down. But now Felicity forced herself to remember the events that led to the gunshot that ruined her life…
It played back like a movie in her mind, incredibly detailed even after all this time, as she listened to Caitlin's soft voice telling the story to the others.
Felicity could still feel the late afternoon sun when they had arrived at the Tikal Ruins, a park not unlike the one they were in now. She could see the reassuring look in Oliver's eyes as he gave her a private smile. She could feel the dark, dank tunnels, the air getting cooler the further underground they went.
With painful clarity, Felicity remembered all the missteps, all the frustrations and dead-ends.All her mistakes. The mistranslation that led them in the wrong direction, so that by the time they had found the chamber they were looking for…
If Felicity hadn't made that mistake…
If they had just gotten there before Reiter…
The chamber was bigger than any they had found before. And it was cold. Shockingly cold after the heat they had been used to. But what Felicity remembered most was this sense, this feeling…it was just…evil.
God, that sounded so melodramatic, even in her head, but there was no better way to describe it. That feeling of doom that she had been feeling for days multiplied and became suffocating. Felicity didn't know if it was the chamber, the Skull, or Reiter, himself. He already had the damn monstrosity in his hands, his men surrounding him, filling the room.
"Honestly, it was a blur from that point forward, it all happened so fast," Caitlin was saying. She was starting to sound scattered. "I didn't have the best view since I was in the tunnel, behind the others. I'm not a fighter so…I wasn't really even supposed to be there. Reiter had the Skull and... I'm not sure why but..." She looked at Felicity. "You were one of the first people in the chamber. I can't remember why—"
Felicity swallowed. "I was trying to get to the pedestal where the Skull was kept. It was supposed to…um, have instructions…kind of. I was hoping it might tell us how to control it. Or shut it off."
It sounded so stupid now, but at the time, Felicity had been certain it would help. She had failed to get them to the Skull before Reiter and it was the only way she could think of to make up for that. She never got to it, though, so she'll never know if it would have made a difference or not.
"I asked Oliver," Felicity's voice cracked, "to get me to the pedestal."
What if she had stayed back with Caitlin? Let Special Ops do their job? Would Oliver have even been targeted? Would things have gone different? Better?
"Digg shot first," Caitlin continued and Felicity could still hear the echo, feel the walls shake from that first shot. That was why they didn't want firearms in the tunnels ever again. Never again. "But he managed to take out…two of their guys—?"
"Three," Sara corrected. "I remember. There were six total, including Reiter." Her eyes were distant now too. Felicity wished the glow ball had a lower setting. She couldn't stand the looks on her friends' faces. "We had the advantage. We took down three quickly, but then—"
"Then Reiter figured out how to use the Skull," Caitlin finished with a shudder.
"It all went to hell from there. I remember this part well." Sara's voice and face went hard. It was what they called her assassin's face, it drove terror into many a heart.
"It hit Slade first." Caitlin's hand fluttered to her face again, covering the side that was burned, in what looked to be an unconscious gesture. "The red lightning shot out of the Skull's eyes and the way it hit Salde's face...the sound, the…it was one of the most horrible things I've ever experienced."
"Then it got worse." Sara's jaw clenched.
"Yeah. Then it got worse. Digg tackled Slade, got him out of the line of fire before the lightning could kill him, but a bullet hit Digg..." Caitlin laughed bitterly, almost wildly. "After that, with his leg…John couldn't get back up. Everyone was shooting at Reiter but as soon as he got the Skull it was like…"
"Like the bullets had no effect," Sara whispered.
And that was exactly what it was like. Felicity remembered being behind Oliver, desperately trying to read the symbols on the walls. Trying to find anything that might help.
Caitlin turned to Sara, "So you tried to hit Reiter with your bo staff from the back—"
"And he turned the Skull on me. I remember ducking behind a column…" Sara drifted off, shaking her head. "Then nothing."
"The lightning hit the column." Caitlin squeezed her eyes closed with a small groan. "Half the room came down, burying you and one of Reiter's men, knocking Lyla out. Then that last Shadowspire soldier turned his gun…god, that thing was massive. It tore straight through the Kevlar. He turned it on Oliver and—"
"And I stepped in the way," Felicity finished for her in a whisper.
She hadn't even thought about it. It was instinct. Fear. Protectiveness. Cowardliness. Not wanting to live, if Oliver died. Not wanting to be the last one left standing.
That was a fate Felicity had left to Oliver. How horrible that must have been for him.
"Reiter turned on Ronnie at the exact same time. I…" Caitlin's voice shook and she tipped her head up, tears falling continuously as Sara embraced her and Felicity held her hand. "The red lightning hit him square in the chest and I just…I remember screaming and screaming. The noise reverberating through the chamber. It lifted Ronnie right off the ground and when he fell…"
Caitlin broke off with a sob, but pushed on, "I was covered in John's blood, trying to stop the bleeding. Oliver was covered in Felicity's blood. I couldn't even see…Ronnie wasn't breathing. I couldn't find a pulse. I left a trail of bloody finger prints, but I couldn't find one. In that moment, I thought it was all over. I wanted it to be over. It was horrible."
"It's okay," Felicity whispered, squeezing her hand. Though nothing was okay. But she knew that Oliver had probably felt the same. The sense of defeat. The desire for it to be over. Because if Oliver had been the one bleeding out in her arms that would have been exactly how Felicity would have felt.
"So how…?" Curtis shook his head, looking overwhelmed and shell-shocked. "How did you turn it around?"
"Oh, it wasn't me. I was ready to give up. I would have," Caitlin confessed with a hallow laugh, then she fixed her eyes on Felicity's. "It was Oliver. He went berserk. Like the Incredible Hulk. I've never seen anything like it. One minute Reiter was cackling like a villain out of a bad Super Hero movie, the next Oliver let out this roar."
Caitlin shook her head, remembering. "He moved so fast. I…the man who shot Felicity's neck was snapped before I could even blink. Then, somehow, Oliver had the Skull in his hands. I'll never forget the look on his face, the way he just…he just threw it. He grabbed the Skull and hurled it against the wall."
Pulling back the shoulder of her t-shirt, Caitlin pointed to a jagged scar. "This is from a shard of obsidian. From when that thing shattered. It was the worst wound I got from the entire incident. Isn't that crazy? The world fell apart and all I got was this little cut. Then John lifted his gun from where he lay bleeding on the floor and shot Reiter in the temple. And it was done. Miraculously, we had beaten him."
Cait wiped her face with her shirt, the tears seeming to have stopped or at least slowed. "Then…well, I told you the rest."
Curtis and Sara nodded. Silent. Stunned.
But for Felicity…suddenly, despite the bright lights, the walls felt like they were closing in. Images raced and chased each other through her mind.
Thoughts. Feelings. Memories. Things Felicity had never known before. Never wanted to know.
She needed fresh air. And she needed it now.
Felicity jumped to her feet. "Curtis, give me a boost."
"What? Are you…?" Curtis looked around, eyes wide and confused. He turned to the other women for confirmation.
But Felicity really didn't have time for a committee. "Boost me out. I'll find a rope ladder or something." Anything to get out of this shrinking box.
Still, Curtis didn't stand until Caitlin and Sara gave him the silent okay, which…what the hell was he going to do? Trap her in here? What good would that do?
But Curtis finally stood and cupped his hands for Felicity to put her foot into. And, man, she must have been motivated to get out, because she made to the 12 ft. high entrance in one try, grabbing the edge and hoisting herself out.
Once she had pulled her knees up onto the stone floor, Felicity couldn't get out of that cramped little temple fast enough. She had to force herself to slow down as she descended the narrow steps so she didn't tumble down them.
Wouldn't that be humiliating? Five years ago Felicity was airlifted out with a bullet wound only to be airlifted out today because she tripped. Wouldn't that just be her life?
But she managed not to take a header and the bright sunlight was harsh, but welcome. Felicity couldn't get enough of the fresh air, even if it was heavy and damp and suffocatingly warm. She didn't even realize that she was still walking quickly, aimlessly, away from the temple, leaving her friends stranded, until she almost slammed into Digg and Roy.
"Whoa there, Blondie," Roy cried, catching Felicity by the shoulders before she plowed him over.
Felicity shook herself, blinking up at Roy. "Why am I blondie? Sara's blonde too. I'm pretty sure it's even natural."
"Sara seems the sort that might react violently to nick-names." Roy shrugged, scrunching his face up in an apologetic sort of way. "And she could kick my ass."
Insinuating, of course, Felicity couldn't. Which was fair. But Digg came to her defense anyway, "I wouldn't under estimate this one." He gave Felicity a brotherly smile and asked, "Find anything at the temple?"
"Nope." Unless one counted horrific memories and staggering revelations. "But the others got themselves stuck in the hole. So can you…?"
"Seriously?" Digg crossed his arms and raised his eyebrows, looking disapproving enough to make Felicity defensive.
"Well, Curtis was our way out until he jumped down too, so…" Felicity really didn't feel like explaining that Sara and Curtis jumped down because her and Caitlin were having emotional breakdowns.
Digg rolled his eyes and Felicity had to remind herself it was at Curtis for jumping without thinking. He didn't even know about the crying. John probably wouldn't roll his eyes at crying. Even if he did think less of them for it.
But Digg did smack Roy square on the chest. "Come on, let's go rescue some of ARGUS' best minds from a hole in the ground."
"Technically it's above ground, since it's inside the Temple," Felicity corrected. If John was going to insult them…
But they were already heading to the temple, no doubt to rib Curtis, which should cheer Caitlin at least. Roy turned back to Felicity and asked, "You comin'?"
"No, I…" The last thing Felicity wanted right now was to go anywhere near that temple…any temple for that matter. "Do you know where Oliver is?"
Felicity hadn't even realized until the words fell from her lips that that was where she was headed.
Roy and Digg shared a surprised, yet knowing look. One that normally would have made Felicity want to hit them both (and, boy, did Puppy-boy fit in fast if she already wanted to hit him) but right then, she needed to talk to Oliver and she really didn't care what anyone thought about it.
"Last I saw him, he was checking the sensors on the on the south-west corner of the park, past the Temple of the Inscriptions." Digg pointed in that direction, but Felicity knew the way better than he did and she wasn't in a conversational state of mind.
She was already moving, striding quickly south, determined to get there before her courage failed her. Or before her brain kicked back into gear and she talked herself out of it. Felicity was working on instinct here and her instinct after that story, a story she should have heard from Oliver's lips five long years ago, was to go to him.
Beyond that, she had no idea what she was doing. But Felicity had done a lot of things wrong since Tikal and this felt right. For once, something felt right.
Felicity found Oliver in a thatch of trees not too far from the rainforest's edge. Actually in a tree. Like, as in, high in the branches, adjusting a sensor or something.
And if her mind was suddenly more scrambled then it usually was, it was with good reason, because Oliver…he wasn't wearing a shirt.
He was shirtless. Shirtless Oliver.
Also something Felicity hadn't seen in five years, three months and…whatever. It was probably time to stop counting.
It was hard to count at the moment, anyway. Also, her mouth was dry. Had Oliver always been so…so? He was…wow. Maybe Felicity wouldn't be so thrown if she had dated, well, anyone since Oliver…no, there was no one who could ever compare. Even if Felicity had felt like moving on, no one could live up to…that.
Felicity had never really felt like she was quite good enough for Oliver. Because…look at him. And now, after everything she had learned, she knew she wasn't good enough. Oliver should have gone home, moved on. Found someone who deserved him.
She was seriously rethinking her decision to come talk to him (which meant her brain was functioning again). But since Felicity refused to pull another Beach Sprint, she forced herself to call out, "Oliver."
It was barely a croak and Oliver didn't even pause in what he was doing, soo maybe he was ignoring her…but probably he hadn't heard her. Felicity had a choice, she could stand there hypnotized by the muscles of his back…or try again. Because running wasn't an option. Right?
Felicity cleared her throat. Oh, the hell with it. "Oliver!"
It came out clearer this time. He heard her, at least. Felicity could tell by the way Oliver froze, then straightened and turned his head, piercing her with a gaze that made her think of a jungle cat.
Felicity cleared her parched throat (again) and tried for a wave, because a smile was beyond her at that moment.
Oliver frowned down and across the grassy clearing at her, because Felicity hadn't been able to make herself walk over to the tree. So he watched her from a distance for a full minute, looking beyond confused.
And why wouldn't he? After how Felicity behaved yesterday, Oliver probably thought she would rather walk across hot coals than voluntarily come to talk to him.
Alone.
Again.
But there she was. Standing there. Like an idiot.
This was a really bad idea. Maybe Felicity just needed to leave the poor man alone. Let him heal. The last thing Oliver needed was her in his life again.
But then Oliver dropped from the tree, graceful as the famed Mayan Jaguar the Sun God loved so much. And once he started stalking toward her, well, then Felicity was really stuck. Too late to turn back now. Even if she could make her legs move.
Oliver did pause to grab his t-shirt off a branch, which was a relief and a disappointment. Tall-Gorgeous and Dangerous, indeed. He pulled it on as he walked toward her, but not before Felicity caught the glimpse of a new tattoo over his heart, a particularly stunning star design that made her heart race.
Of course, Felicity also saw a few new scars to throw fuel on her growing funeral pyre of guilt. Could one actually spontaneously combust from remorse? Was there an actual max on how much one could feel?
Also, the way Oliver was frowning...it really didn't help her relax.
"Felicity," Oliver acknowledged with a stiff nod of his head. "Is something wrong?"
Everything was wrong. When was the last time something was right?
"No. Nothing," Felicity told him, even managing a tiny smile. But maybe it was a grimace. She did manage a wide-eyed innocent look. She was sure of that. For what that was worth.
Oliver's forehead crinkled and his eyes searched her face. Felicity must look awful. "Did you find something in the temple?"
"Nope. It was a big bust. A total waste of time. We should have gone directly to the Door in the jungle."
And that…had absolutely nothing to do with why she was here. Felicity was babbling, avoiding what she was really there to talk about. Because she wasn't actually sure she wanted to say what she wanted to say. Or even what what she wanted to say was.
Wow. Her thoughts didn't make one lick of sense. How did Felicity have any hope of her words being coherent?
"Oh. Okay." Oliver looked away, biting the inside of his lip, almost imperceptibly, but Felicity noticed. "Did you want me to talk to Digg about heading out early?"
Oliver was using his mild tone. His super-respectful, walking on egg-shells tone. It made Felicity's skin crawl. She shook her head. "No. It's all right. We might as well stay. I have a few other ideas of where to…Caitlin told us about Tikal today."
Huh. So, that was what she came here to say.
"What?!" Oliver gasped, his eyes snapping to hers, wide and almost…horrified.
"She told us what happened after I, you know, passed out…" Wow, now that was a pretty impressive euphemism for almost dying. "Actually, Cait told Curtis the whole story, but the end was all new to me. That's insane, right? That I'd never heard it before. I was there. It changed my entire life. I live with Caitlin and yet, I never…neither of us…"
"You didn't want to talk about it. I understand."
And it looked like he really did. In fact, it looked like Oliver didn't want to talk about it now. Or ever. He looked about as uncomfortable as Felicity had ever seen him.
But this had to be said. "No. You shouldn't understand. You can understand about Cait. But me…I should have asked."
Oliver's stance changed. He crossed his arms over his chest and buried his hands in his arm pits. He was bracing himself, getting ready to be hurt. For what, Felicity had no idea, but it brought tears back to her eyes.
Felicity probably already had dusty, grimy paths where they had fallen before. Had Oliver noticed?
Who was she kidding? Of course, he noticed. Oliver noticed everything.
"Was there something you needed?" Oliver asked, his voice harder, defensive.
Felicity drew herself up. She would not panic. She would not run. She would take this first step to heal this mess she'd made. It was time to stop hurting him.
"No. I mean, yes. I mean, I need to tell you something." Wow. That was articulate. Way to go, Smoak.
Oliver squared his shoulders. He looked like he was facing the firing squad. "Okay…?"
Felicity just need to find the words, the right words. Something, anything, that would start to make things better.
"I…I'm really glad that I stepped in front of that bullet."
Okay, maybe that wasn't it.
"What!" Oliver looked beyond horrified now. Actually, he looked like Felicity had just punched him. Hard. In the teeth. Or maybe the balls.
"What I meant to say…" No, she wouldn't take it back. It was true. "I… let me explain," Felicity pleaded because she was starting to worry Oliver was going to bolt, pull his own Beach Sprint. But, then again, he always had been the braver one. "I had no idea…"
Then, suddenly, Felicity knew exactly what she had to say.
"You were a hero that day. And I didn't know. I should have known. You saved all of us. Hell, you saved the fraking world. Thank god, you didn't take that bullet. If you had, we'd all be dead."
"Felicity…" Oliver shook his head, sounding tormented. Shocked. Taken-a-back. But tormented still.
But what he needed was to understand. "It's true. I never regretted taking that bullet, but now…I'm glad. I know that you wish that it had hit you instead of me, and that's okay because that's who you are, you're self-sacrificing like that, but in this case, well, it's stupid to wish that…which sounds much harsher than I meant it to…"
Was that a crack of a smile? Please, let that be a smile.
"I don't know why I'm calling you stupid when you were the hero of the goddamn hour." Felicity was on a roll now. "But if you had been hit and I hadn't, what the hell would I have done? I wouldn't have been able to get the Skull from Reiter. Hell, all I had to do was read the glyphs right and get us to the Skull first and I couldn't even do that right—"
"Felicity, that wasn't your fault," Oliver insisted. Still trying to take care of her. His posture had eased, though, softened, so she must finally be getting through to him.
"Yeah, well, it wasn't your fault." Because this was about Oliver right now. "None of it. Not even my bullet wound. It was the guy who shot me and Reiter and even, partially, mine. But not yours. It was because of you that I got out of there alive. And John. And everyone else. It was because of you that Cait got to give Ronnie a proper burial." Crap and there went the tears again. "So, you need to stop blaming yourself. Like right now!"
Oliver was stunned. Which, well, Felicity had just yelled at him. Which was one way of tackling the situation. Maybe not the best way.
Oliver opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. Because, really, how did a sane person react to that? Then he said, "Felicity, I…" His tongue snuck out and wet his lower lip. "Okay."
"Okay…?"
Okay? Felicity really hadn't expected him to say…wow, that tongue thing was distracting…
Okay…what? Okay to not blaming himself? Okay, let's get her to the mental hospital? He probably needed to be a little bit more specific.
"Yeah," Oliver breathed, scrunching up his face and nodding. Like he didn't know what to do with all his emotions. Like he'd forgotten how to express them. What had the Bratva done to him? "I'll try."
"To stop blaming yourself?" Felicity asked, feeling bad for pressuring him, but it was important. Poor Oliver. He'd been through so much. "Sorry, if I need to clarify, but it's been a reeeeally long two days and I'm kinda fried—"
Oliver actually chuckled, a smile forming and…wow, she was melting. Felicity really was still so in love with him. But had she ever really thought that changed?
"Yes," Oliver told her simply, with a single nod. "I will try to not…blame myself for…that night. Much."
"Well, that's a start, I suppose." Hesitant as it was. Because it really did look like the concession was painful and Felicity hadn't though that it would be easy. "All right. Good then." Felicity nodded as well. Like a moron. And…she had no idea what to say, or do, next. "So, then I should just…"
She gestured behind her and Oliver gave her an understanding nod. He was probably more than ready for this painful little exchange to end. Felicity turned and started to walk away. She had done what she had come here to do and she had probably humiliated herself enough. For one day at least.
But Felicity hadn't gotten ten feet before she glanced back and saw Oliver staring after her with confusion and…awe and…
And, apparently, Felicity hadn't humiliated herself enough, because she turned around and, again, gave into some strange impulse or instinct or whatever crazy thing and ran toward him. And then, as if that weren't bad enough, she full-on hug attacked Oliver.
Felicity just threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around Oliver's sweaty torso and burying her face in his chest.
God…his smell.
He smelled like home. The one she'd forgotten she had. Felicity closed her eyes against the burning in her eyes. She should probably say something, try to explain her bizarre behavior, justify her invasion of his person space…but she was completely out of words.
Oliver didn't hug her back. Not at first. He kind of held his arms up and just…let himself be hugged. Which was better than pushing her away, she supposed. But still really weird. He was frozen, like he couldn't actually believe this was happening, which Felicity totally understood. She couldn't believe it was happening either.
But then, after an excruciatingly long moment, Oliver gingerly settled his arms around her and held her. Held her as if he were afraid she might just break. And that may have been a valid concern. If he was judging by the evidence before him.
Finally, because if she didn't do it then, Felicity was afraid she never would, she pulled out of Oliver's arms and gave him what she hoped passed for a smile.
"So, um…" Felicity started walking backwards, wringing her hands as she did. "I'm going to go. Again." She gestured over her shoulder. "And take a look at those carvings I was talking about."
Felicity turned quickly, not wanting to look at his face, horrifically embarrassed now that she wasn't touching him any longer. But, again, she got that magic ten feet away when Oliver called her name. And she couldn't not turn back when he called.
Oliver met her eyes and gave a heartfelt, "Thank you."
This time, she didn't have to make herself smile.
Felicity was rather proud that she made it out of sight before she really started to cry.
Author's Notes:
Additional pictures and maps for this chapter here
I never really planned to go into what really happened in Tikal. It was easier to keep it vague, but then I decided that was lazy and I at least needed to know what happened so I could write the characters properly. Then once it was all mapped out, I couldn't not tell the story.
This chapter was very difficult to write, both emotionally and logistically. On the second, I hope the story was clear (It wasn't until my third edit that I realized that I was talking about John having been shot without actually ever saying he was shot). As for the emotional side, this chapter is a turning point. Felicity's hit rock bottom with the retelling/reliving of Tikal and is ready for the uphill climb back to living.
The Temple of the Sun in Palenque is truly an ancient calendar. It has these odd walls that allows light to shine through and mark the Equinox and the Solstice. There are frescos. I have no idea what they say. King Cadmeal is completely made up. I thought there was a chamber underneath, but when I googled it again, I couldn't find it, so maybe I made that up too.
And last, but never least, thank you to my girls, fairytalehearts and ireland1733, and to everyone who comments and kudos, it means so much!
Don't forget to let me know what you think. You can also find me at:
Thanks for reading!
Emmy