The autumn air had a distinct chill to it, this early in the morning. They flew over the sea towards the island on which they would find Hira'a in solemn silence. Zuko gripped the sides of Appa's saddle so tightly his knuckles turned white. Azula, every now and then, would giggle to herself and mutter unintelligible nonsense beneath her breath.
"I wish she wouldn't do that," Sokka grumbled miserably. "It gives me the creeps."
Katara privately agreed. She sat beside Zuko and placed a hand on top of his. He didn't react, simply glared down at the sea beneath them as some muscle jumped in his neck from the barely leashed anxiety within. Salt spray collected on his forehead and in his hair, left down and whipping around in the sea breeze making him look a little like something from a fairy tale, warning sailors at sea of the dangers of angering the ocean spirit.
"Hey," She whispered, and Zuko dragged his eyes to hers, an odd expression on his face. "Are you okay?"
"I…" He stared at her. "It just… makes so much sense."
"How do you mean?" Aang asked, and Zuko lifted his hands, a half-smile playing at his lips.
"That's why my f… Ozai had no problem burning me, banishing me… he knew."
Katara exchanged a concerned frown with Aang and Sokka put a hand on Zuko's shoulder. "Buddy, I get why you don't want him as a father but… if it was true why not get rid of you… permanently?"
Zuko shrugged. "I don't know but I've been thinking about it all night," He smiled properly then and the sight made Katara's heart skip a beat. "I feel… hope."
His eyes landed on Katara's, light and unburdened. Hope he said- she thought she could understand that… hope that a monster like Ozai wasn't his father, that his mother had escaped her husband, to be with her lover… But who would be the rightful Fire Lord?
Azula, from her place beside a wary Suki, began to giggle again. "Zu-Zu's on my side… Bet she didn't expect that!"
"Your side?" Sokka turned to look at the giggling girl. "What- Zuko?" He turned to glare at his friend. "You can't be serious."
Zuko's hand came to rest on his chest, as though shielding the hidden letter from further scrutiny. Katara's mouth fell open in horror. "No…" She gasped, reaching for him but he flinched back. "Zuko- you can't."
"Why not?" He demanded. "That's why it's been so hard! That's why I've been drowning since the coronation, Katara- I was never meant to be the Fire Lord," The words hung in the air, terrible and heavy. Zuko looked around his friends' wide-eyed, stunned faces and his smile fell. His dark hair fell into his eyes and he glanced away, guiltily.
"Zuko…" Aang said softly. "Why didn't you say anything? We could have helped."
Katara stared at her lover with her stomach in knots. She'd suspected, but she hadn't known. Mai had given her hints and suggestions, Katara herself had seen how he wasn't eating, she'd tried to take work off his hands but…
Drowning, he'd said.
She remembered with a sickened lurch her own fevered hopes, half realised fantasies in which he wasn't the Fire Lord, tethered to a country and a palace she'd grown up fearing. She'd wished for this, hadn't she? She'd toyed with the idea of travelling the world together or, maybe, living in the South Pole and raising a family there. Now the possibility of running away together was close enough to touch and it terrified her.
"First thing's first…" Katara said firmly, swallowing her hurt. "We're going to find your mother…" If she's alive. "She is the only one who knows the truth. The whole truth," She reached for Zuko and this time he let her take his hand. He watched her cautiously and she smiled at him, not sure what her eyes might be saying. "Once we find her, we can look at the next steps."
Behind Zuko, Sokka and Suki wore matching expressions of silent disapproval but Katara kept her eyes on his. After a long moment, he nodded, lifting her hand and kissing it softly. "We wouldn't need to hide anymore," He said, quietly enough that the others couldn't hear him as Appa came down to land near the village of Hira'a. Her fingers tightened on hers and she squeezed his hand in return.
"I just think there are bigger things than the two of us to consider," Katara whispered back.
His face darkened. "I see."
Katara looked up at him searchingly, confused. "What?" But his hand had left hers and he was standing up without her, turning to Azula and helping his sister to her feet. Without a second glance at Katara, he clambered down onto the ground with Azula in tow.
"Smooth, sis," Sokka clicked his tongue and she glared at him. "What did you say to make him run off like that? Maybe you need relationship coaching from your older, wiser brother..." Behind him, Suki rolled her eyes but said nothing.
They made their way into Hira'a, everyone dressed in nondescript Fire Nation clothing to obscure their identities. Katara watched as Zuko and Azula walked closely together, separate to the group.
She hadn't meant to shut him down like that, she thought ruefully as she tucked her purse into her waistband. She would have to find time to explain herself properly later, in private. Yes, she wanted to be able to be with him properly, out in the open… she also understood that Zuko was in a unique position to be able to make real, lasting changes to the world. The happiness of two people had to come second to the wellbeing of the world at large, always.
If Zuko wasn't the rightful heir… what did it matter? He had to be Fire Lord. No one else would be able to do it. Iroh was a peaceful man but too old, and the nobles would see him as the end of a royal line, potentially leading to a power struggle. Azula… Azula was mad and too much like her father- she would destroy not only the other countries but the Fire Nation as well.
They made their way through the light-dappled woodland path to Hira'a. As they stepped into the village, Katara blinked in surprise. Crowds of people clustered in the centre of the tiny hamlet, blocking their view of whatever it was that had brought the mass of bodies together. "I thought Hira'a was meant to be a small town…" She said, surprised.
Aang bounced up to look over the villagers' heads, only slightly assisted by a burst of airbending. "It looks like some kind of play!" He said, turning to Zuko and Azula. "How exciting!"
A play? Katara tried to catch Zuko's eye and failed. He was craning his neck to see over the heads of the audience. "I know this scene..." He muttered, turning to Azula. "It's the final battle from Love Amongst the Dragons. Remember how mother used to take us to see the Ember Island production every year?"
Azula, despite herself, seemed enraptured by the production and pushed forwards to get a better view, followed closely by her brother. Katara made a move to follow but Suki put a hand on her shoulder. "I think this is probably something for just the two of them," She said softly and Katara scowled. "Do you think anyone here knew Ursa?" Suki continued, looking out at the gathered townspeople. "She collected all the programmes for the theatre group so maybe one of the performers has seen her."
Katara turned to look at the crowd. She couldn't see anyone resembling the missing Fire Lady but there were so many people- it would be impossible to recognise someone here from a painting. Zuko and Azula would have the best chance of finding her.
Katara caught sight of Azula and Zuko in the crowd. She could only see the back of Azula's head but Zuko was looking down at her with an exasperated smile and crossed arms. He said something Katara couldn't hear and Azula shrugged, tilting her head as she responded. Zuko rolled his eyes and looked back to the stage.
They almost looked like normal siblings, ribbing and teasing each other on a casual day out, but then Azula jerked to one side and Zuko grabbed her arm to keep her in place, now looking panicked and on edge.
The crowd erupted into cheers as the two masked figures on stage kissed in what must be the conclusion of the performance. The players gathered on stage and bowed graciously. Their costumes were a dazzling array of bright blues and reds together- Katara thought back to the story summary of the play she'd found in the room at the palace.
The final kiss was between the Dragon Emperor and the Dragon Empress, who had finally been returned to their divine forms after being trapped in mortal form due to the Water Spirit's curse. She hadn't realised the Dragon Empress wore blue in the play, the actress's mask and gown were a beautiful, light sparkling turquoise, a sharp contrast with the deep reds of the Dragon Emperor, the costume designer had tied them together with gold accents in a clever way to harmonise the differences between the colour palettes.
She hadn't known what to expect from the Hira'a players but the care and attention that had gone into the detailing were much more than she'd expect from such a small village production. The people here really cared about their performance and it showed.
With a start, she realised the crowd was dispersing. "Everybody's leaving," Aang noted, looking dismayed. "What do we do now?" In the crowd, Zuko was leading Azula around the village square, asking questions.
"Let's ask around- see if anyone has heard of Ursa… or Ikem," She added, thinking that Ursa's lover must also be around somewhere, or maybe he had family here.
No one she tried seemed willing to admit to knowing Ursa or Ikem. A few of the older villagers exchanged wary glances and muttering noncommittal half-sentences. "Ursa, she left…"
"Ikem? No one here by that name…"
"Not even rumours…"
Katara growled in frustration and leaned against a wall, letting her head collide hard with the wooden beam behind her. She glared at the rapidly emptying square and her eyes were drawn unavoidably to Zuko, who stood in deep conversation with a middle-aged man holding a mask.
The mask of the blue spirit, she realised with a jolt and a half smile came to her face, unbidden. That was where the mask came from- this play. Had he known how much the play had meant to his mother?
The clues were falling into place but where did they lead if not here?
"Bloodbender."
Katara's eyes snapped to the girl above her in shock. "Azula-" Peering over the roof with an electric smirk Azula spread her fingers over the roof's lip, as though bracing herself. "What are you doing?"
"Zu-Zu's distracted," Azula crooned and flipped over the edge of the roof to stand before Katara, hands on hips. "He always was easily moved."
Katara gritted her teeth against a surge of frustration; few people rankled her as Azula did. When Azula had been in the institution it was easier to feel sorry for her but here, out in the open, every base instinct Katara owned screamed at her that Azula was dangerous. When Azula was sad and alone in a room it had made Katara feel safer even though she knew Zuko always hoped for rehabilitation, she wanted nothing more than to see his sister locked up for the rest of her spiteful, bitter life.
"Don't call him that," Katara bit out. Azula's narrowed eyes slid up and down Katara's body like oil. "He is your Fire Lord."
"He is no one's Fire Lord. She made sure of that," Azula said lazily, rolling a bright blue spark between her fingers the way Katara had seen Zuko do with his own golden fire. "Why are you pretending she didn't bring you to us?"
"What are you talking about?" Katara sighed, frustration growing at the sudden change of subject and Azula's rambling nonsense.
Azula's eyes were clear and fixed on Katara's. Her mouth twisted into a displeased scowl. "I should have killed you."
"The feeling's mutual."
The air between them sparked with static.
"Azula- there you are!" Zuko grabbed at Azula's elbow, sending Katara an apologetic glance. "Noren has some information about mother and Ikem. He's hosting us- all of us…" He turned to Katara. "For dinner tonight."
He looked as excited as she'd seen him in a long time; his eyes were light and a tiny half-smile played at his lips. He thought he'd found a lead. "That's great," she said, reaching for his hand but he stiffened and stepped back. "That's really great, Zuko. No one else seems willing to say anything," She continued, keeping her tone light to mask the sting of rejection.
He was still upset at her words from earlier. He turned to wave over Aang, Sokka and Suki. Momo leapt from Aang's shoulder to worm his way over Zuko's head, mussing the older boy's hair. "Noren and his family have offered to host us for dinner," He said, scratching Momo behind the ear absently. "He's the director of the Hira'a acting troupe, so he's as good a lead as we can hope for."
"Yeah, everyone gets really weird when you try to talk about Ursa," Sokka rubbed the back of his head and glanced around with a frown. "It's like they're not even sure it's the same Ursa who became Fire Lady. It's super weird."
"Yeah," Suki agreed, looping her arm through Sokka's. "So weird."
"So these are your friends?" The middle-aged man with the blue spirit mask approached with a woman Katara assumed to be his wife. "Hi there, I'm Noren."
"Like from the play?" Suki asked with a smile as Nored shook hands with each of them in turn. He had a good handshake; warm and firm and friendly.
He smiled at Suki, easily. "That's right. My parents were theatre aficionados too."
"I'm Noriko," The woman introduced herself with a warm, slightly baffled smile. "Noren said you kids were joining us for dinner?"
"Sorry," Katara grimaced and Noren waved a hand.
"No, it's fine. We have plenty to share."
"Don't worry about it," Noriko agreed. "It's always a pleasure to meet new friends."
Noren and Noriko's home was a modest, traditional style building with a wooden veranda all the way around and a sunken fireplace in the centre of the living room. "Your home is beautiful," Suki smiled warmly as they sat around a low table together. Zuko sat down beside Azula, who had placed herself by the fireplace, away from the rest of the group.
The others made idle conversation with Noriko and Katara watched as a little girl, no older than four or five peeked her head around the doorway. She mumbled something incoherent and Azula glanced at her with such disdain Katara was surprised the girl didn't run away crying, but Zuko gave her a warm smile and humoured her as she showed him her doll.
"Our daughter, Kiyi," Noriko said softly and Katara turned back to the older woman. Kiyi didn't look much like either of them, Katara thought privately. Noren was handsome enough, in an angular way, Noriko was round faced and creased from years of laughter, which gave her a homely, welcoming appearance. Kiyi was a beautiful child, with fine, high cheekbones and almond-shaped eyes that looked almost noble. Her light brown hair was the only trait she clearly shared with both parents.
"Mind if I join you?" Noren asked, setting down a tray of teacups on the low table and passing two over to Zuko and Azula. "Are you being a good host, Kiyi?"
"I'm trying!" Kiyi scowled at Azula, who scoffed and took the tea without a word of thanks. Zuko shot her a warning look before thanking Noren and taking a cup himself.
"You mentioned that you knew Ursa," Zuko said, looking back to Noren as the two girls glared at each other. "Was she a member of your acting troupe?"
"She was," Noren drank deeply, thoughtfully. "She's perhaps the most famous member, once all's said and done. She was very young and talented when she was called away to the capital on some secret business."
"Supposedly, she is the Ursa who married Fire Lord… former Fire Lord Ozai," Noriko offered with a smile. "But that all happened before I came to town, so I can't profess to know as much as Noren."
"How about Ikem?" Katara asked, and Zuko's golden eyes flashed to hers. "What about him?"
"Ikem?" Noren raised his eyebrows. "My goodness, that's a name I haven't heard in years," He sipped on his tea. "He was Ursa's boyfriend, I believe, but no one's seen him since shortly after Ursa herself left."
Noriko put a hand to her cheek, looking thoughtful. "Some say he ran off into the forest, seeking the Forgetful Valley…"
"The Forgetful Valley?" Aang asked.
Noriko nodded. "A canyon outside of town... Legend says that the heartbroken go there to forget and renounce their former lives when the memories are too painful," she got a faraway look in her eyes and shook her head. "You know, I vaguely remember a rumour that Ursa returned to Hira'a, several years ago, then went to the Forgetful Valley to find Ikem, her long-lost lover."
"That can't be true," Noren frowned. "No one's seen or heard from Ursa since she went to the Capital."
Noriko looked away, a little starry-eyed. "Well, if it is true, it's terribly romantic…"
"Romantic?" Noren scoffed, "Or tragic? The Forgetful Valley is a dark, dangerous place. No one who goes there ever returns..." His voice deepened, and he met each of the gathered teens' eyes in turn. At the ominous warning, Sokka grimaced and held onto Suki's hand tightly, whilst Zuko stared thoughtfully into the fire.
"Well," Noriko said lightly. "I think it's romantic. Chasing your lost lover into such a place, knowing the rumours and that you're not likely to ever return? She must have loved him very much."
"If it's true," Noren smiled at his wife. "Then yes, very much."
Katara looked away from the older couple, feeling somehow like she was intruding, and shuffled over to sit beside Zuko. He was looking into the low flames of the hearth, lost in his own thoughts. "What do you think?" She said softly, and he started. "We don't have any other leads."
He looked at her seriously, a line of determination drawn between his eyebrows. The fire cast half of his face in shadow, almost in the shape of his long-erased scar. "The Forgetful Valley," He agreed. "It's the best lead we have."
"Why don't you children stay here tonight?" Noriko offered. "We don't have a lot of space but the inn will be full with all the visitors for the play," Noren gave his wife an odd look, as though surprised at her offer. Katara thought that was strange, considering he'd been the one to invite them for dinner.
"Thank you," Aang bowed. "Your hospitality is much appreciated."
"Yeah!" Sokka enthused, looking like he much preferred the idea of staying in the cosy house rather than facing the spirits of the Forgetful Valley. "Do you guys have meat?"
"Uh, sure…" Noren managed a smile, though Katara didn't miss the way he glanced at Zuko and Azula. "I think we have enough to go around."
"Sokka!" Suki hissed, elbowing the boy sharply. "You're being so rude."
"What?" Sokka yelped. "Noriko offered and I am simply taking her up on the offer."
"We can eat at a restaurant," Suki quickly smiled at Noren. "The kind offer of a place to sleep is more than enough," She shot Sokka a glare and Aang nodded.
"Definitely. Thank you so much."
They moved to stand but Kiyi clutched onto Zuko's hand tightly, burying her face in the robe at his hip. "Stay for dinner!" She demanded, a little muffled as she spoke through a mouthful of Zuko's travelling cloak. Azula, still lounging on the floor cushion, narrowed her eyes at the little girl.
Zuko looked down with a surprised smile, and knelt in front of Kiyi, patting her light brown hair affectionately. "We're coming back after we've eaten, don't worry."
"Huh," Sokka slung an arm over Katara's shoulders, picking at his teeth with a fingernail. "Zuko's good with kids. Who'd have thought?"
Zuko shot Sokka an embarrassed glare as he disentangled himself from Kiyi's grasp. Noriko chuckled softly behind them. "You're very good with her," She approached and lifted her small daughter onto her hip with a warm smile. Behind her, Noren watched the conversation keenly. "Kiyi gets a bit lonely, I think. There aren't many children around here for her to play with. We tried to have more children, but it's not to be."
She shrugged, and Noren came to kiss her gently on the cheek. "My Noriko and I found each other later in life," He smiled, a little sadly. "We weren't lucky enough to find each other earlier, or we might have had more children."
"Well, we're lucky to have Kiyi and each other," Noriko beamed, full of domestic bliss. "And it doesn't matter when it happens; you make the most of it when you find it."
Katara couldn't help but glance at Zuko, offering a small, tremulous smile when she caught his eye. Make the most of it, Noriko said, but what did Noriko and Noren know of how complicated love could be? They had found each other in a small village in the Fire Nation, were on equal footing and had nothing to keep them apart.
Zuko looked away, leaning down to pull Azula up by her elbow. "Come on," He muttered, escorting his sister out of the house. Katara bit back her own disappointment and followed with Aang, Suki and Sokka.
They ate quietly, for function rather than to socialise and the lack of conversation seemed to send Azula back into her daydreams. She muttered incoherently into her cup of water and show dark looks at Aang and Katara.
"Azula, it's fine," Zuko said softly, pushing her bowl of rice closer. "Eat."
She turned wide eyes on him and tilted her head. "She keeps lying to me."
"She's not saying anything," He said impatiently. "Hurry up and eat before your food gets cold."
She peered back into her water and scowled, covering her ears in frustration and closing her eyes. "Make her stop, Zu-Zu!"
She lurched back from the table and Zuko stood abruptly, catching her by the shoulders. He crouched slightly and repeating soothing words to her as she clutched her hands to her head and tried to pull away. They'd attracted the attention of the other tables. A few people were whispering, some were giving the siblings dirty looks and a couple simply stared in silence.
Katara sighed. "We'd better get her out of here," She said, folding her napkin and getting up. "We'll see you back at the house?" Aang nodded, putting on his best polite smile as a nervous-looking waiter made his way over to them, wringing his hands. "It's okay," Katara said peaceably to the waiter. "We're leaving. Our friends will stay and pay for the meal."
He bowed in thanks and Katara helped Zuk half-drag-half-carry Azula from the restaurant. As they left she caught the faint sounds of people resuming their meals and a snide comment.
"People like that really should be kept locked up."
Zuko's face reddened and he tensed. For a second, Katara thought he might barge back in to challenge the hateful commenter but he took a deep breath in through his nose and continued down the road.
Azula's ragged breathing began to calm down, the further from the restaurant they got and by the time they arrived at Noren and Noriko's house, she was limp and blank-faced in their arms. The front door opened and Noriko looked between the three in alarm. "Oh my goodness- is she okay?"
"Sorry," Zuko sounded strained. "My sister isn't well… Is there somewhere she could lie down?"
"I've prepared some beds…" Noriko led the way into the living room, where she had laid out a few futons and blankets for them all to sleep on. "I'm sorry we don't have more…"
"Thank you, Noriko," Zuko smiled. "This is perfect."
They set Azula down on the bedroll in the middle of the room and Zuko tucked the blanket around her. She seemed exhausted and barely managed a half-hearted insult before she was breathing deeply and evenly. Unlike the previous night at the inn, Katara had no doubts she was fast asleep this time. Shuffling back to put some distance between him and Azula, Zuko leaned back on his hands, legs spread in front of him and watched his sister sleep.
"What's wrong with her?" Noriko asked softly, sitting down beside them. Katara remained silent as Zuko seemed to mull the question over in the low firelight.
Finally, he straightened, crossing his legs and folding his hands in his lap. If not quite the formal kneel observed in the palace, he was sat more politely now and a carefully blank expression fell across his face. "My sister…" He started slowly. "... isn't well. I don't know what exactly is wrong with her but she has these... hallucinations." He slumped a little and Katara reached out to put a hand on his shoulder in silent solidarity. "She thinks she sees our mother everywhere."
"Ursa," Noriko said quietly, looking down at Azula's sleeping form. "You're Ursa's children..." Zuko nodded. Noriko sighed heavily. "I'm sorry we couldn't help you more. Ursa left long before I came to Hira'a and my husband has told you all that he knows."
"Mother?" Katara's head swivelled to see Kiyi standing sleepily in the doorway with her doll clutched tight. When the little girl's eyes fell on Zuko she smiled and padded over to sit beside him, laying unreservedly across his lap and stretching her arms over his legs in a tired imitation of a hug. "You came back."
Zuko's hand hovered over the little girl's back hesitantly, as though unsure what to do with such casual affection. Smiling, Katara leaned against his other side and sighed in relief as his arm wrapped around her waist. "I'm sorry," She whispered as Noriko went to get some tea. "What I said earlier…"
He stiffened. "Can we not?" He asked tightly. "I don't want to talk about it."
"We have to talk about it," Katara held onto his hand on her waist. "Zuko, of course, I want nothing more than to be with you properly but…" She took a deep breath. "I do think there is a bigger picture here that we have to consider. Even if it turns out that Ikem is your father it might be best to keep it secret. Who would become Fire Lord if your claim was taken away? Iroh?"
Zuko's breath came in short, shallow bursts. Barely under control.
"He formally abdicated. He can't," Katara continued. He might not want to talk about it but she did and she would make him listen. "That leaves Azula. Do you really want that?"
She twisted her neck and looked up at him. He was glaring straight ahead with his lips pressed firmly together.
"I didn't think so," Katara said with a sigh and sagged back against him. "Whatever we find in the Forgetful Valley tomorrow, I think the best thing to do is to get rid of the letter." She shut her eyes against a wave of nausea at her own suggestion; she was urging Zuko to destroy the last clue to his mother's fate. "If it fell into the wrong hands…"
"I gave it back to Azula."