To Sacrifice the Sun
Chapter Nineteen
September 18, 2016
18:39
The Antechamber
Lacandon Rainforest, Mexico
It most definitely worked.
Their hands…well, her hands, but Felicity assumed it was their hands because why wouldn't Oliver be feeling the same warm tingly feeling emanating from the limestone where their hands fit perfectly into the palm print sun?
The moonstone began to glow, as if a light had lit it from behind and even though their hands were covering it she could see the blue glow spilling from around their hands and giving of an other-earthly light.
Felicity really thought she should think that this was weird. Really, it was something out of a movie. This kind of thing didn't happen. Not in real life.
Of course, men didn't generally get thrown across the jungle with a flick of the wrist and jaguars didn't survive lethal doses of sedatives to outrun machine guns.
All in all, this should be freaking Felicity out.
Yet, for some really strange reason, it felt completely normal. And, more than that, for some reason, it made Felicity incredibly happy.
Wow, was she happy.
The whole room now seemed to take on that otherworldly blue glow, made more prominent by the fact that the only glow ball that was still on was one in Oliver's pocket, where the heavy fabric of his cargo shorts muted the light.
Felicity felt an almost unearthly calm come over her and she melted back into Oliver, letting the unfamiliar sensation of total relaxation seep into her bones and merge with the incredible feeling of Oliver surrounding her…his skin, his smell, his warmth. Even his love seemed to be a physical sensation and Felicity almost wished she could stand here, like this, forever.
Wrapped in Oliver's arms, his lips pressed against her temple, Felicity had the most intense sensation of…home.
Then the stone started to creak…which, of course, it would. To get through the Door it needed to move which, of course, was what they wanted. Whatever they were looking for was on the other side. Felicity knew that as surely as she knew her own name.
And Felicity couldn't wait. Couldn't wait to get through. To see what was on the other side.
Which should be in direct opposition with the desire to to stay in Oliver's arms like this forever, but it didn't feel like a conflict. In that moment, Felicity couldn't imagine feeling conflicted about anything. She had trouble imagining conflict could exist in her life. She felt like she was floating.
With more patience than she usually possessed, Felicity nuzzled her head against Oliver's chin and waited. Waited for the Door to finish moving, vaguely wondering where it would go since there was no ground for it to disappear into.
What Felicity hadn't expected was for the entire wall to, kinda…spin. Only the floor beneath them didn't and when the stone door broke free of the wall it was connected to, it started to move rather quickly…like when a kid suddenly jumped into a revolving door and decided to race.
Thank god for Oliver and his quick reflexes, because he grabbed Felicity around her waist and pulled her through to the other side just in time to keep her from getting flattened by several tons of limestone.
But Felicity just smiled. She knew it was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.
They were going home.
After all this time, Oliver and Felicity were going home.
Then they were in a long tunnel, dimly lit by only the glow ball in Oliver's pocket and the rapidly dimming blue of the moonstone. He let go of her to grab her bag and pulled it through just as the Door met the wall again and started slowly creaking back into place.
Sealing them on the other side.
Felicity found herself staring, watching as the stone seamlessly fitted back together. Wasn't that odd? It felt like the physics of that shouldn't work. It should look like a distinct, separate slab of limestone, but it didn't. It almost looked like it had been plastered over.
But that couldn't be right. It had to be a trick of the light.
All Felicity seemed to be able to do then was blink and watch as Oliver crouched down, examining the Door, studying it…
Because Felicity…
She was disoriented. Felicity was feeling…
Suddenly, all those happy confident feelings were gone.
Like poof gone.
Like a balloon that had just been popped.
Felicity no longer felt like she was floating. In fact, she felt like she had crashed onto the hard, dirty stone floor. She felt cold.
It was dark and quiet…eerily quiet in there. Damp and cold and…
It took Felicity a moment to realize she was trembling. All over.
What happened? Where were they?
Crossing her arms and hugging herself tight, Felicity looked around. Dear god, they were in an underground tunnel and…
Had Felicity really just turned her back on a killer jaguar to…what? Get them trapped underground? All because of a…hunch? A feeling? What the hell was wrong with her?
The whole time, Felicity had been so confident and now…she just felt stupid. It made no sense. It was illogical. And she wasn't sure what was more illogical, her behavior or…everything! What was going on? How…? Why…?
None of this made sense. None of it.
"Well, I don't think HIVE will be getting through this…" Oliver turned to look up at Felicity and froze, his brow crinkling in a frown as he stood. Which made sense, since if she looked as bad as she felt she couldn't imagine it was good. "Are you okay?"
Felicity wasn't sure how to answer that.
"No." Okay, maybe she did. Honest. Concise. To the point. "No, I don't think I am."
She even shook her head for good measure, because Felicity was just that not okay and it seemed she no longer had the capacity to keep anything from Oliver…and that, at least, was a good thing.
"Oliver…" Felicity wanted to reach for him, but she was too cold to uncross her arms. "Oliver? What just happened?"
Felicity really didn't like the desperate, pitiful sound of her own voice, but it brought Oliver to her and when his hands closed over her shoulders, it helped. It really did.
Enough to allow her to uncross her arms and launch herself at him, burrowing into Oliver's chest as his arms automatically enveloped her. God, sometimes, Felicity just adored how big he was. It made her feel so safe.
"Hey, you're trembling," Oliver murmured, concern and confusion evident in his voice as he rubbed her back and shoulders in a brisk sort of way that was so very helpful to the goosebumps that had emerged.
"Yup. Yup, I know," Felicity muttered into his chest, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to figure out what the hell was going on. "That I know…I don't know much else but—"
"Hey, hey…" Oliver pulled back, clearly trying to get a look at her face, but she wasn't giving up the comfort of his man-breasts without a fight, even if her glasses, were, again, in the way and probably pinching him.
Well, maybe not that much of a fight, because when Oliver gently urged her chin up, Felicity complied, even managing to open her eyes for him. He had just that kind of power over her. The concern she saw on his face made her whimper and tighten her arms, pressing closer.
"What's going on?" Oliver it asked in a soft careful tone. The one he so used so rarely. "You were fine. Better than fine. You seemed completely confident. I figured you'd made some connection in that brilliant mind of yours—"
That made Felicity laugh. Hysterically. "I don't think if my brilliant mind had anything to do with it." Her brilliant mind had no idea what happened. In fact, she's never felt less brilliant.
Oliver shook his head, clearly lost and Felicity could see his worry mounting. "You were fine," he repeated in a whisper.
Dammit to hell.
"I was. I was…well, I felt normal until…" Felicity tried to reassure him, but then her flapping gums took over and words came spewing out of her mouth, "Well, at least, as normal as anyone could feel with several dozen masked men and a crazy guy with superhuman powers and a killer jaguar that seemed more human than any of them…did all that actually happen?"
Oliver chuckled. Which was good. Or it would be if Felicity couldn't still see the tension in his forehead, the worry in his eyes. "Yes, it did."
"Okay, good," Felicity breathed, then shook her head because what an asinine thing to say. "I mean…not good. None of that was good. Well, I suppose some of it was good. Or maybe it's just good that it wasn't a hallucination. I'm crazy enough, right?" She gave a desperate sounding laugh and Oliver pulled her closer.
"Fe-li-ci-ty…" It sounded like a warning, of what she had no idea. Maybe Oliver just wasn't keen on her making fun of her own mental health.
But, right then, Felicity was feeling far from mentally stable. And, god, what she wouldn't do to erase the whole last however many minutes and go right back to the part where she was on her back on the bedroll with Oliver's hands under her shirt.
Well, at least, that thought warmed her up.
"The Darhk part certainly was not good. Especially the magic and the flying people and the blood—"
"Felicity, sweet, you're rambling. Focus for me."
Oh. She was still talking. Felicity hadn't realized. She felt really…scattered. Which was actually a pretty normal feeling for her. She could handle an unusually level of scattered-ness but this was way beyond even for her. She was having trouble pulling together a coherent thought.
But Oliver wanted her to focus so she should at least try. Plus, it sounded like a good idea.
"I didn't feel weird until…" Felicity racked her brain trying to…
Then Felicity's eyes fell on the moonstone, still sitting in the center of the palm print sun.
"Until I touched the moonstone." A chill ran down Felicity's spine as she realized what had happened and she clutched Oliver tighter.
But Oliver was straining his neck to look at the stone, which was still kinda…glowing.
How the hell was it glowing! There was no scientific explanation for that and…dear god, that thing had done something to her.
Oh. Oh that was…that was…really fraking messed up!
"I didn't even realize until it went away," Felicity muttered, trying not to freak out. She thought she was kinda probably failing. Big time. "And that just makes it scarier, because it was like…affecting me, controlling me and I didn't even know it. If I didn't know better, I would say that I was under a spell, but that's ridiculous."
Felicity laughed because it was just that ridiculous. There were no such things as spells. What was this, Harry Potter?
"Maybe it isn't really a moonstone." Because how could Felicity be drugged by a piece of rock? "It's not like I'm a geological expert. It could be something…something with chemical properties that—"
"What did it feel like?" Oliver's soft question pulled Felicity out of her science-versus-magic freak out. She really wished Caitlin were here or…they seriously should have sent Constantine's team on this mission. This was not Felicity's expertise.
Blowing out a breath, Felicity rested her cheek against Oliver's chest again, weighing the pros and cons of removing her glasses to get closer, as she tried to gather her thoughts. To remember. To use that so called brilliant mind Oliver was so fond of.
There had to be a rational explanation. It was there. Felicity just needed to find it.
"At first…at first, I didn't feel that different. I just kinda…knew stuff I hadn't before." Assuming the stuff she knew was even true. So, maybe 'knew' was too strong a word. "It just felt like…I thought something was clicking, like that 'ah ha' moment where everything suddenly makes sense. Then I stopped thinking about why it was happening and…suddenly, I knew that the moonstone was the key and the jaguar's name and—"
"Did you hear him speak to you?"
Felicity jerked back, her eyes flying to Oliver's, glad the glasses were still on after all. "Who? Kinich Ahau? No! That would be cra-zy?"
Exactly how nuts did Oliver think she was?
But Oliver wasn't joking. He didn't even look worried any longer. His expression was calm and serious, like the clues they were piecing together weren't bizarre and supernatural. "Felicity," he drawled, his lip tipped up at the side, "you were having a conversation with that jaguar. Unspoken or not, you were having a conversation with a bullet proof cat—"
"But not tranq proof. Isn't it odd that he's bulletproof but not tranq proof?" Why Felicity felt the need to interrupt with that little tidbit she would never know, but her thoughts were at their nonlinear best.
Oliver's lips quirked and amusement lit his eyes. It might have annoyed Felicity if it wasn't for the fact that his eyes never looked amused by her without also being full of affection. It was a two-fer.
"But not tranq proof, Oliver repeated indulgently, "though those two hits should have killed him." He caught that to, huh? "I don't think hearing him speak is much crazier—"
"It is," Felicity insisted. "Hearing him talk would have been just that much crazier." It was a line. One she had not crossed. Thank god.
Oliver gave a small nod, his eyes wide and warm, his lips pressed together. "If you say so." He didn't even pretend not to be placating her.
Felicity debated being irritated, but asked instead, "So…all that with the jaguar and Darhk that actually happened, right?" She knew she was repeating herself but…
Chuckling, Oliver nodded. "Pretty sure."
"Just checking. It all feels so…unreal looking back. I think I felt…high almost?" That was exactly how it felt. "Not that I have a lot of experience—"
Oliver cut her off with a brief kiss this time, which meant that the rambling was getting really bad. "I know. What happened after we got into the tunnel?"
The tunnel? Felicity's eyes flew to the ceiling. The rather close, rock ceiling. And the walls. Oh frack, it was cramped in here. The chamber was a veritable palace compared to how narrow and, god, Oliver's head barely cleared the ceiling!
"Oh my god, we're in a tunnel!" Felicity was starting to feel a little sick. "Are we underground?" Of course, they were underground. But was kind of scary, right? Because they had just been sealed in here! Underground. Like a coffin… "Where the hell are we? Do you think we're trapped? Where is the—?"
Another kiss, longer this time. And when Oliver pulled back, he must have picked up on her panic, because he murmured, "It's okay," against her lips.
It helped. It really helped but, yeah…still freaking out. "But—"
It was becoming predictable, exactly what level of panic Felicity had to express to bring Oliver's lips back on hers. It really wasn't motivating Felicity to calm the frak down.
Actually…well, it was motivating her to forget the damn tunnel and remember that she hadn't made love with the love of her life in half a decade. God, shed missed him.
And, unlike five minutes ago, they were alone. And safe. Free of the carnage that had surrounded them in the Chamber.
Not to mention, if they were going to be trapped underground, Felicity wanted to spend every second she had left naked with Oliver.
Letting out a whimper, Felicity threaded her hands into Oliver's hair and when he tried to pull back again (clearly, his intent was just to derail her babbles and he needed to understand that wasn't going to fly), she pulled him back in and ran her tongue over his lower lip.
He wasn't all that difficult to convince. Oliver let out a soft moan and Felicity swooped in, stroking her tongue over his. This was much better.
Her brain was starting to get fuzzy again. Only, this time, she definitely knew the cause and was very happy to let it run its course.
So, of course, that was when Oliver disengaged with a regretful moan. "Felicity, Sunshine, we have to figure out where we are."
Did they? Did they really?
She tried to pull him back in. After all, Oliver had started this with his whole kissing her to keep her quiet thing. He'd made promises with that luscious mouth of his and Felicity fully expected him to keep those promises.
"We're in an underground tunnel. It sucks, but we're currently safe so…" Felicity lurched up to her toes to capture his lower lip.
Oliver let out a low growl and yanked her hips closer. Which was good, very good.
But then…goddamn it! Oliver must have changed his mind because he tipped his head up so she couldn't reach his lips. So not cool. Running her mouth over his gorgeous neck seemed like an appropriate punishment…
"Since when are you claustrophobic?" Oliver asked and…hmm, he had caught that, huh?
Felicity was pretty sure it was a serious question, but she really didn't appreciate the reminder. Also, there was clearly at least part of Oliver that was still on her side, the hormone driven side. Because, despite his question, he was panting and cupping the back of her head as she ran her teeth from his neck to his collarbone. Damn man was too tall.
"Umm…since now?" Felicity answered, hoping that was enough of an answer for them to get back to business at hand.
Oliver laughed and stepped back, putting a full inch between their bodies. Which was way too far away. It was rather annoying.
"You are not claustrophobic, Felicity. You just spent five years living in a cave—"
The annoying distance gave Felicity the leave to roll her eyes at him. "That was a very different sort of CAVE, Oliver. High ceilings, tons of tech, lots light."
She hadn't even gotten the sentence out before Oliver pulled the glow ball out of his pocket, holding it up and throwing the entire space into…what was the opposite of darkness? Illumination? Heh, Illumnisphere. Maybe it wasn't a bad name after all.
The problem was, light or no light, there wasn't much to see. Just rock and more rock. Some dirt. A tunnel that cleared Oliver's head by less than an inch. It was even narrower than it was high. And it just seemed to go on and on.
"Does this help?" Oliver asked.
Felicity swallowed, as she looked around, thoughts of their lovely make-out session starting to fade away as her stomach knots started to re-tie. "No. No, I don't think it does."
"Sweetheart? Sunshine? Look at me." Oliver murmured, putting the glow ball back in his pocket. That was actually better. It was better to not see how never-ending their prison was. Also, it left his hands free to hold her which was a far worthier use for them.
Gulping, Felicity did as he asked and was rewarded by Oliver cupping her cheek and giving her a small encouraging smile.
"Can't we go back to kissing?" Felicity asked, though she knew the answer. It was the answer her rational brain would give too but…kissing was so much better than…whatever this cold worried feeling was.
Chuckling (as if it had actually been a joke), Oliver pressed a kiss to Felicity's head, but he did put his arm around her shoulder and let her snuggle into him so that made up for it. Mostly.
"No. We'll have all the time in the world for that."
Ha! Felicity wished.
"Now…now we need to talk about how I really don't think that you are claustrophobic." Oliver had too much faith in her mental stability. "I'm pretty sure this is some sort of…post magic crash."
"What? No!" That was insane. Oft. No such thing! It wasn't even worth contemplating. She preferred claustrophobia. Felicity shook her head. "I don't believe in magic."
Oliver's eyes widened and he stared down at her incredulously. "How can you even say that?"
Felicity wrinkled her nose, feeling a little ridiculous. But she shrugged and said defensively, "Magic is just science we haven't figured out yet." So there. A very intelligent argument if she did say so herself.
"Umm hmm." Felicity did not like Oliver's tone. "Okay. Well…then, there is a lot of unexplained science going on. Like say…a two-ton spinning stone wall that's older than Christ."
Yeah…there was that.
"Maybe…maybe the, moonstone is some sort of power source." Ooo, Felicity was liking this theory. It made sense. She could work with this. She just wished she had Cait or Curtis or Cisco to bounce the theory off. "And the warmth and pressure of our hands—"
"It really felt like it had to be a specific set of hands," Oliver interrupted, sounding skeptical.
He didn't say it had to be their hands, but Felicity knew that was what he was thinking. "But—"
"But," Oliver cut her off, which was kinda good, because Felicity didn't actually have a 'but.' It had felt like that to her too. "Let's be sure to remove our 'power source.' I really don't think it should be left behind."
Oliver stepped out of her arms to go back over to the moonstone and, immediately, Felicity felt chilled again.
Which wasn't surprising. Nothing magical about it. They were underground. Oliver was a living furnace so, of course, Felicity felt colder without his body heat. Yup, totally logical.
But…wow, it was quiet down there. As in really really quiet. A complete absence of sound. Their voices didn't even carry.
Felicity shivered and dug her nails into her arms to keep from being needy and reaching out for Oliver. She pressed her lips tightly together and watched as a gentle touch had the moonstone dropping into Oliver's hand.
Felicity hugged herself, her eyes on the door. "Do you think Darhk will be able to get through?" Because the last thing they needed was to be trapped underground with that lunatic.
"Well, the wall is over a foot thick and our 'power source'..." Oliver held up the moonstone and wagged his eyebrows, "is with us so…"
Felicity blushed and tipped her chin down to hide her smile. Oliver teasing her was quickly becoming her Achilles heel. She had never fully appreciated it before. "Unless Darhk goes your whole exploding arrow route." She shuddered as she said it, just thinking about the cave in it could cause.
Oliver shook his head. He looked confident. Which was rather reassuring, actually. "First, he has to figure out where we disappeared to. The more logical explanation is that we just snuck back into the jungle. Hopefully, he'll waste a whole lot of time looking for us there."
Made sense. Felicity nodded, feeling somewhat better. "If you didn't kill him."
Because that was always a possibility with an explosion like that. Felicity couldn't help but smile at the thought. Wow, she had gotten blood thirsty.
But Oliver scrunched up his nose and gave her an apologetic look. "Something tells me Darhk is about as easy to kill as our feline friend."
Felicity grunted. Unfortunately, she agreed.
"I do, however, think I took out quite a few Ghosts and at least one truck. It should definitely slow them down."
"So should our feline friend," Felicity added. These were all reassuring arguments and everything Oliver said was perfectly logical, so she wasn't sure why she shivered.
And, of course, Oliver noticed. "Hey, we're going to be fine—"
"I'm just cold," Felicity insisted, telling herself that she wasn't lying. On the plus side, Oliver stepped back into her space and rubbed her arms. "Much better." She smiled up at him because that was definitely not a lie.
Oliver returned her smile, holding her gaze. "Honestly, Felicity, Damian Darhk doesn't strike me as someone who would casually blow up a Magical—"
"Scientifically Advanced," Felicity corrected, only half-teasing. But that half did show she was feeling better. "So scientifically advanced we can't understand it. Yet."
Her (half) joke seemed to relax Oliver, as well, and he laughed. "When did you become Scully?"
That pulled laugh out of Felicity as well. "I've always been Scully. When did you become Mulder?"
The grin Oliver gave her made her warm to her bones. And maybe her core. "That's what you get for making me watch all seven seasons of the X-files."
"There were nine seasons. I only made you watch seven." Ten seasons now, but Felicity saw no reason to bring up anything that happened in the last five years. HIVE was all the angst she could handle right then.
Especially with Oliver staring down at her with that wonderfully dopey, lovesick expression that Felicity just knew she mirrored.
"So…this happened, too, right?" Felicity gestured between them, taking the tiniest step closer to him (even though they hadn't been all that far apart in the first place). "The you and me…back together thing." Just saying it made her dizzy. In a good way this time. The best possible way.
The question didn't have the effect Felicity had hoped for…which was, maybe, a couple more kisses…
Instead, Oliver frowned. "Is that fuzzy too—?"
"Oh no. No no noooo," Felicity rushed to reassure. Maybe, it was too soon to tease about that. "That whole thing is clear. As in crystal. I just like confirmation. It always helps to hear in again. Especially when things are too good to be true—"
Oliver let out a breath and cut her off with a kiss and that was much more like it. He cupped Felicity's cheek as he did a really good job…confirming everything. Excellent job.
The kiss was slow and sweet, but quickly grew out of control. Felicity might have had something to do with that, because, god, she'd missed him. And wanted him. And loved him and…
If they didn't have to worry about Darhk than they could take some time, right? Release some of this pesky…tension? Felicity was sure they would both think so much better after they did.
"How was that?" Oliver asked.
Felicity had forgotten the question, but answered anyway, "Good. Awesome, really. Actually, I think I could use some more," she stepped fully into Oliver's space as the previous conversation came back to her, "reassurance. Frequent, repeated reassurance."
Oliver chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. For later." It was a good thing he was still holding her tightly, still staring down at her with those lovely heart-eyes. Otherwise, Felicity might just be peeved. "So…um…what were we talking about…?"
Well, it was good to know that Felicity wasn't the only one that was easily distracted by…this.
"Damian Darhk," Felicity grumbled. God, she hoped that explosion killed him.
"Right, Damian Darhk." Oliver dropped a kiss onto her nose and, really, this was the only way Felicity wanted to talk about any mission related information ever again. "He doesn't strike me as a guy who casually blows up…sacred artifacts the way I did, risking curses."
Felicity's eyebrows flew up at that. She wouldn't have been surprised if her jaw was on the floor.
"What?" Oliver asked. "You didn't think it occurred to me that that our tremendous string of bad luck could have been set in motion by my blowing up those tombs at Palenque?"
Okay. So…maybe Felicity hadn't give Oliver the credit he deserved. All this time, she had been worried about bringing the possibility up.
"I didn't…" Okay, how to say this without making it sound like Felicity had underestimated him? "I hoped you hadn't, but I should never have misjudged your ability to find another thing to add to your guilt mountain." Plus…. "Also, I don't believe in curses." She grinned widely at the end, hoping to lighten the mood.
But Oliver's eyes darkened and he turned his head away. Felicity could actually see the guilt eroding at his features.
"Oliver…" Damn it! "Even if such a thing were possible, which really it isn't, it wouldn't be your fault. Remember you promised…not your fault—"
That earned Felicity a slight quirk of his lips. "Your rule doesn't apply here. That was referring to the past and I did blow up those tombs. It was completely my call. So if that triggered a curse that caused Roy—"
Oh no! Not going there. "It didn't!"
"You don't know—"
"Also, it was cryptic but it looked to me like Digg ordered you to—"
Oliver grunted. "Felicity—"
"Okay." Felicity put up her hands in surrender. She didn't want to argue and just the mention of this had her anxiety about Roy and the others was rising too and neither of them needed that right now. "Since we have no way of checking on Roy, and there are more pressing matters, maybe we should table this conversation and—"
"Move on?" Oliver jumped in, giving a small, but eager nod. "I would appreciate that."
Thank god. At least, Oliver wasn't going to give in to a full-on guilty sulk. Though his guilt was really something they needed to work on. It was irrational in it's…all encompassing-ness.
Felicity flashed a smile, attempting to tease, "So is there anything else that you were brooding about during our first day here? I'd thought the list was rather long, but it seems like it just keeps getting longer and…"
Felicity trailed off at the look in Oliver's eyes. Frak. She had been joking but clearly, she had stumbled onto something here. There was a flash of pain and…maybe even panic in his blue depths.
"Is there something else?" Felicity wasn't sure if she was glad she had pressed or sorry about it.
Oliver swallowed and if that wasn't confirmation Felicity didn't know what was.
Purposefully, she reached up to massage the muscles on the back of Oliver's neck, gentling her voice, "You can tell me anything, you know. If we want to start over with a clean slate—"
"It's stupid," Oliver muttered, shaking his head and starting to pull away.
The thing was…this was very different from how Oliver had been responding to her all day…well, ever since that first kiss, at least and, wow, it had been a long day.
It was hard to even comprehend that this morning they were holed in the Antechamber from a hurricane barely speaking to each other. It was amazing how much things had changed. For the better but…
There was something about the way that Oliver was avoiding the topic that made Felicity really nervous. "Stupider than everything I did?" she offered, trying to wheedle it out of him. The more he avoided the topic the more nervous she got. "Stupider than the reason I put us both through five years of hell—?"
Oliver turned back to drop a kiss on Felicity's forehead, stopping her with, "That was less stupid and more misguided."
Felicity rolled her eyes at that. "Mmm, nice save." Because really it was just semantics.
"Your heart was in the right place," Oliver argued.
And Felicity would never be more grateful for anything that Oliver thought so but…she needed to know what he was hiding. "Are you going to tell me?"
Oliver sighed, his head falling back. "It's stupid. Honestly. I knew it was stupid at the time. Irrational. And now that I know why you really…" He blew out a breath. "Talking about it will just be an emotional nighma—"
"Oliver," Felicity interrupted, because even though she was starting to believe this was going to be painful to hear, the longer Oliver spoke, the more she realized not knowing would be even worse. "Clean slate, remember." She kept her voice gentle. She was proud of herself for managing it, actually. "I'll be okay. I've gotten this far, haven't I? I can handle whatever this is too."
"I know you can," Oliver whispered, but his face was far from convinced. He frowned at the floor as his hands clenched and unclenched at her waist. Felicity could tell from his expression the exact moment he gave in. "Remember the panic attack you had at the Temple of the Sun? After I blew up the tombs—?"
"The flashback, but yeah." It was hard to forget. This wasn't more about the supposed curse, was it? Or…? "Is this about me not kissing you back, because you totally didn't give me a chance—?"
"No, I…" Oliver broke off with a nervous little laugh, his eyes still avoiding hers. "No. Felicity…do remember what you said?"
Felicity didn't. Not really. The images post flashback were always crystal clear, what she said or did…not so much.
Oliver cleared his throat and Felicity wracked her brain to try and figure out what she could possibly have said that was causing him so much angst.
Blowing out a breath, Oliver said, "You said, 'the baby.' Followed by a string of 'no's."
Her stomach dropped and her breath hissed. Felicity felt as if someone had just kicked her in the gut. "No…I…no, I didn't realize…" Lord, what must Oliver have been thinking. Her eyes burned just imagining… "Did you…did you think that I lost a baby after Tikal?"
Oliver laughed. An odd, watery sort of laugh, which sounded so much like he wanted to cry that it made Felicity want to cry as well. "No. No, that didn't even occur to me. It was much dumber…I uh…for a moment there, I thought you were pregnant."
Okay, Felicity took it back. That was a kick to the gut. "What?!" Bile rose into her throat.
"Yeah. Now you see why I didn't want to bring it up?" Oliver looked honestly regretful of the fact as his entire demeanor changed. He was now focused entirely on comforting her, his hands rubbing her arms and shoulders. "It was a ridiculous thought, but it sounded like you were afraid of losing—"
"And, obviously, if I was pregnant it couldn't be yours?" Felicity interpreted, because she imagined that was what would have bothered Oliver most at that time, since he hadn't known it was impossible…no, she couldn't go down that rabbit hole right then. It wouldn't help either of them.
"Yup." And the way Oliver popped that 'p' showed her that was exactly what had been tormenting him. The idea Felicity had moved on and (hypothetically) could have been carrying another man's child. "Obviously, in light of everything I know now, it seems extra moronic—"
"No," Felicity corrected, shaking her head, because stupid it was not. This, like everything else, was just a result of the tangled web of secrets she had created. "How were you to know it was impossible?" Despite her best efforts, the words sent a little curl of grief spiraling through her. "It's just…"
Was this the time for Felicity to confess that there had been no one in five years? Like, literally no one. Oliver deserved to know.
"It was a dumb idea before I knew," Oliver argued. "It was just my jealousy that got the idea stuck in my head. They would have never allowed a pregnant woman on a mission like this."
Oliver greatly underestimated ARGUS' desire to have her on this mission. But Felicity didn't say that. She chose to focus on him confessing how jealous he had been because that made her feel warm and fuzzy inside. It was by far the preferred emotion.
"And I knew you weren't seeing anyone," Oliver confessed in a rush. "I checked. Called in a few favors." Now he was blushing and it was adorable. "I didn't, you know, want to be blindsided."
Now Felicity knew she was grinning like a fool and she said, "Of course," because she was feeling magnanimous.
"So…I knew it was highly unlikely, but the thought kept, popping up, you know?" Oliver kept talking and Felicity was starting to realize just how much this had been bothering him, how much he needed to get it out. "What if you were in a secret relationship? It could be early in the pregnancy. I got some intel on this young forensic guy that you seemed to spend a lot of time with. How hard could it be to keep a secret like that in the CAVE?"
"Not too hard," Felicity chuckled, "given that Caitlin has been secretly dating that exact forensic guy for months."
Oliver's brow furrowed. That one clearly caught him off guard. "Our Caitlin? And that Barry guy—?"
"Barry Allen. Yup." Felicity nodded. She still couldn't believe she hadn't known. "Though she had better not be pregnant because if she accepted this mission and didn't tell me, I'm going to be so pissed—"
Oliver cut her off with a string of relieved laughter. He couldn't possibly still be thinking there had been someone waiting for her in the CAVE? Not after everything they had said and done in the last 24 hours?
But Oliver was smiling now, shaking his head like he couldn't believe how foolish he had been. "So…when you said 'baby' in the Temple?"
Felicity shrugged. She, honestly, didn't know why she said it. She didn't remember saying it. "I was having a flashback of Tikal. I assume it's the same thing we talked about before. It felt like I'd lost a child—"
"God." Oliver's face fell. "I'm sorry, I should have quit while I was ahead, not brought up—"
"Shh…no," Felicity interrupted, putting a finger to his lips. "As you said, this is your loss too." And, damn, if that didn't choke her up a little. "You can always bring it up." She was strangely okay with it. "Not talking about it brought me nothing but trouble. I think I'd like to try the opposite for a bit." Then…she grinned, feeling irrationally happy despite the topic. This honestly thing was like a drug. "Besides, I like the idea of you being jealous of some faceless guy. It's cute."
"He wasn't faceless," Oliver grumbled. His eyes were still smiling though.
Felicity laughed, reaching up to twine her arms around Oliver's neck. "Well, now you'll know what he looks like when Cait brings him to…" Oh, wait. Was this okay? "I'm sorry. Does that bother you? Because of Ronnie?"
"No." Oliver was shaking his head before the words fully left his mouth. "I'm thrilled for Cait. Ronnie wouldn't want her to be alone forever." He wound his arms around Felicity's waist and pulled her flush with his body. "The idea of you, on the other hand, having another man's baby—"
Felicity cut off his growl with a laughing, "Never gonna a happen."
Then they both seemed to realize how true that was at the same time and the smiles left their faces.
No. Nope. She had already decided this. And if Felicity wasn't going down the rabbit hole, she wasn't letting Oliver either.
Felicity put on her Sunshine face, grinning up at Oliver. "Besides, the whole thing makes me feel better about your Russian spy wife."
It worked. Oliver's eye lit up. "My Russian spy wife?"
Felicity nodded. Very seriously. "Uh huh. The one I made up on the plane to Cancun." That made Oliver laugh. Deep and rich. God, she had missed that sound. "She was quite beautiful and very sophisticated and I hated her."
Grinning ear to ear, Oliver brought the back of his hand up to Felicity's cheek and—
"Oliver, are you still holding the moonstone?" The mere idea of it sent prickles of anxiety skittering over her skin.
Oliver looked down at the stone in his hand, as if he had forgotten it was there. The stone that had just mind whammed her. What was he thinking!
"I guess I am."
Butterflies started to do a tap dance in her stomach and Felicity grabbed Oliver's hand, turning it over…very careful not to touch the cursed thing. "Are you okay? You didn't feel…weird? Floaty? Otherworldly-ish?"
Felicity got a half-smile, presumably from her eccentric descriptions, but Oliver seemed to be considering it, running his thumb over the pattern on the stone, which kind of made her want to snatch it away from him.
Oliver didn't look worried in the slightest. But maybe the stone was making him not worried and…
Finally, Oliver shook his head. "No, I don't think I feel anything different."
"Not high or—"
"Well, I am unusually happy, but I'm pretty sure that's just you."
Well…damn. This man and his right answers.
Felicity grabbed his face and pressed a kiss to his lips. If Oliver was going to be this wonderful, how was she to cope? "You are too perfect to be real, do you know that? No one has any idea."
Oliver gave her that melty love-sick look again. God, Felicity loved that look. "Because it's only for you, Sunshine." He dropped a kiss to the tip of her nose. Because, apparently, he needed to emphasize just how much of a sap he could be. "But really, I don't think the stone is affecting me at all. And I didn't feel anything back in Tikal when I took it off Caiden's wife."
"Cadmeal," Felicity corrected, but that was an excellent point. "I don't feel anything at the Temple of the Sun, either." At least, she didn't think she did. It had felt warm.
Holding up the moonstone, Oliver turned it over in his fingers. "Maybe it's a combination of things. Like you had to touch it. Or it had to be In the antechamber. Or in the presence of your reincarnation of the sun god."
Felicity rolled her eyes, just barely restraining herself from smacking Oliver. "Kinich Ahau is not the reincarnation of the sun god."
Oliver gave her a pointed look, eyebrows raised.
"He's not!" Felicity insisted. There would have to be such things as sun gods for there to be reincarnations of them.
Oliver just shrugged. His silent 'if you say so' clear as day.
"Regardless…" Oliver captured Felicity's hand and turned it palm up.
"What are you doing?" Felicity squeaking, instantly tense.
But Oliver was completely nonchalant. "Seeing if it still works for you."
Felicity curled up her hand and yanked it back, not out of his grip, but away from the stone. "No, thank you. I don't want to be whammied by that thing again."
But Oliver just gave her a gentle smile, insisting, "All it did last time was give us the information that saved us from HIVE and maybe kept that cat from eating us alive."
Wrinkling her nose, Felicity frowned at the bright blue stone Oliver held suspended above her hand. Goddamnit. He had a point.
"If it still works, it could tell us how to get to Kin Cuudad." Oliver's voice could have been wheedling, but it was more matter of fact.
And, frak, Oliver was right. They needed all the help they could get. Letting out a little whimper, Felicity muttered, "Fine."
Then she opened her palm and Oliver dropped it into her hand. Felicity felt the cool stone in her palm once again and…she really wasn't sure she wanted to do this.
"Just stay close," Felicity murmured, her eyes glued to the stone as it was gonna implode or something. Fraking hell. "And, I dunno, knock it out of my hand if I go all exorcist or something."
Oliver chuckled warmly, his hand moving to cup Felicity's from below.
"I'm not going anywhere."
And, really, wasn't that all Felicity had ever wanted?
Author's Note:
My infinite thanks to my three wonderful Betas and friends Ireland1733, Fairytalehearts, and imusuallyobsessed. Especially, Ireland1733 who has been pulling double duty lately with both fics and taking over my last edit so I can write more.
Thank you so much for reading (and kudoing and commenting ;-))
Happy Reading,
Emmy
(Emmilynestill on Tumblr and Twitter)