Time didn't matter anymore.
He felt sick. Zuko forced himself to watch the healing process, confronting it. He had brought this danger on Kiyi; he had let the darkness grow unhindered in Azula.
Zuko had no idea how much time had passed, or how long Katara had been crouched over his tiny youngest sister's face. It was dark, the flames burning in the wall sconces were the only source of light but the oil inside had burned low.
Kiyi had fallen into a fitful slumber, having long ago exhausted herself from screaming and crying. He knew the feeling too well.
It hadn't been lightning that burned her, but it had been a sustained, fierce flame held to her flesh for several seconds, tearing through layers of skin, fat and muscle.
He knew, It was almost exactly the same as the burn that had caused his scar.
He couldn't really remember the pain of his own burn, when he tried it was a white hot blur of anguish and devastation… but he knew he'd screamed. He remembered his own voice growing hoarse between bouts of restless sleep as Uncle's healers had applied rancid poultices and strong-smelling ointments. It had taken months to heal, and the skin had hardened and tightened across his face in a terrible, fearsome scar.
The scar that had become such a huge part of him and had been taken away by a waterbending enemy in the caves beneath Ba Sing Se. Sometimes he almost missed it, wasn't that sick? He'd hated the scar when he'd had it- it had been proof that his own father had found him unworthy, dishonourable. A visible reminder that the first time a medic had been allowed to treat him was when he'd been taken to a ship by Uncle Iroh. He hadn't realised until much later that it was also proof that he was his own man, not the perfect son Ozai had wanted who would burn the world for the glory of the Fire Nation.
Kiyi's burn held no such symbolism. It was a senseless act of cruelty that only served to remind her of an accidental blood tie with a maniac.
He thanked the spirits that Kiyi had Katara to heal her. He looked up from Kiyi's ruined face to the water bender, who was breathing hard, face flushed with effort. She was trying hard to get as much done whilst Kiyi was sleeping, he knew. In the darkness, lit mostly by the blue-green glow of her own water, she looked like some sort of benevolent spirit. Her face was leaner than it had been in Ba Sing Se; the baby fat that had padded out her cheeks had given way to pronounced cheekbones and a defined jawline.
She was doing her best.
The rush of gratitude he felt for her almost brought tears to his eyes but it was tinged with bitter resentment and he hated himself for it. It wasn't Katara's fault that he'd been wrong about Azula.
He turned back to Kiyi, to her blistered, blackened, reddened mark and felt his stomach churn. This was on him. This was his fault. He'd underestimated Azula and let her hurt someone again.
"Where is Azula?" He asked, but no one answered. "Mother?"
"I don't know," Ursa whispered hoarsely, staring down at her youngest child with an expression he'd only seen once before, on his Uncle's face, when he'd been a boy of thirteen. "Lai?"
The head of staff bowed and Zuko realised for the first time that the room was almost completely empty. When did that happen? "Lady Azula has not yet been found," She said flatly, sparing no time on letting him down gently. "General Iroh has taken charge of the search party, but no one has seen her."
The candles in the wall sconces flared and Zuko fought to regain his control.
Breathe.
Think.
Where would she go?
He tried to think logically, tried to fight past the brewing storm of emotions that threatened to cloud his judgement.
Why would she do this?
He'd tried, he had. He'd tried so hard.
He fought against the tears that threatened to spill and stood up, releasing Kiyi's hand. Ikem and Ursa looked up at him, their pale, shaken faces shifting in the light of the candles.
"They won't find her," He said bitterly. Katara broke her focus to look up at him, a warning expression on her face. He deliberately didn't meet her eyes, focusing instead on Lai. "I'll go and help. Can you make sure they have everything they need?"
Lai nodded solemnly, eyes calculating. "If she comes back-..."
"I'll send the guards in," Zuko said firmly. "I have to go."
"Zuko."
He didn't turn at the sound of Katara's voice. "Focus on helping Kiyi, Katara… please. I need to do something."
He was somewhat reassured to see the pale, tense, attentive faces of his guards outside Kiyi's room. They snapped to attention when he opened the door and he nodded to them. "I need coverage of the room inside and outside the doors and windows," He instructed. "Azula's on the loose and we can't guarantee she won't be back-" The words thickened in his throat and he fought another wave of nausea. "Bender and non-benders at all entry points if possible."
"Is your sister alright?" One of the guards asked.
For a moment, Zuko wasn't sure which sister they meant.
Whichever sister they meant, he wasn't sure that he had an answer. "I hope so."
"Do you need an escort?" Another guard asked.
He shook his head, it was better not to involve more people than necessary. "No thank you, you're needed more here."
"Good luck."
Uncle Iroh was leading the search for Azula, but he didn't know the palace's secret passageways and hiding places like she did. Even when they'd been young, she'd always bested Zuko at hide and seek, almost instinctively finding the pressure points and hinges that went unnoticed even by the keen eyes of the palace cleaners.
No one knew the palace like Azula did.
Iroh would not find Azula if she didn't want to be found so Zuko did not go to find his Uncle. He headed straight for his room.
The Fire Lord's chamber's were darkened, silent. Here, he couldn't hear the sounds of the soldiers searching for Azula, he couldn't hear the last of the courtiers being ushered from the palace. He was alone with the faint sound of crickets, and his own harsh breathing.
He sat on the edge of the bed and waited.
She didn't keep him waiting long.
"Did you like my handiwork?" Her voice was a thousand glass shards, slicing across his heart.
Zuko had never felt like this before. His heart hammered in his chest and sweat pooled in his palms, he could feel fire thrumming through his veins. He barely kept his voice from trembling. "How did you get in?" she hadn't come from the door, the window or the passage that led to Katara's room. His skin crawled.
His sister, still dressed for a royal party, slunk from the shadows, eyes glinting viciously in the candlelight. "Oh, Zu-zu… I know all the ways in and out. I know four ways into this room that have never even occurred to you."
"That's true," He said stiffly, not moving from the bed. Azula crossed the room, silvery moonlight catching the embroidered flames on her hem. "You always knew the best hiding places."
"Years of playing hide and seek."
"I never won, you'd always find me."
She stopped, a shaft of pale light crossing her emotionless face. "You could never hide from me," She said, though without the smug undertones he would normally expect. "Not in the palace, not in Ba Sing Se."
In the dark, she looked like their father.
"Why did you do it, Azula?" He asked, forcing himself to remain still, to give her the illusion of his defeat. "Why?"
"The letters? Or the burns?" She flashed her teeth in a grotesquely perfect smile. "Why not?"
Why not?
Zuko felt sick. Was it really nothing to her? Was she the sort of monster who could burn off a child's face without any sense of the weight her actions carried?
When she'd burned her own soldiers at Boiling Rock, he'd thought it was because she wasn't well, but the Azula of recent weeks had been lucid, sane. Maybe there had never been any hope for her at all.
"Azula, come on," Zuko didn't have to fake it anymore; he felt defeated, truly. "It's just you and me. What are you trying to achieve?"
"Don't you know? I'm a monster. I..." The smile slipped from her face and for a heart-stopping moment she didn't look like their father anymore- she looked like an uncertain child playing dress up. Like La-la, the annoying little sister who had kicked over all of his sandcastles on the beaches of Ember Island.
It's not fair.
"What do you want?" He asked, barely above a whisper in the dark.
"I-" But she didn't seem willing or able to finish her own train of thought.
"How can I help you?" He asked desperately. "When you keep pushing me away?"
Azula's face hardened. "I'm not," She hissed. "I'm getting rid of them."
He stared at her. "Who?" He asked, not understanding. "Why?" She burst into laughter, light and melodic like she hadn't a care in the world. It sent shivers up his spine but he repressed the urge to shudder. "Azula, you burned your sister- she's just a child."
In the darkness, her face twisted into a sneer that was so familiar it made Zuko's chest ache; it was so like the face his father had worn the last time he saw him on the day of his Agni Kai. "Do you think it will scar?"
Zuko couldn't help the lick of flame that came from his mouth, but Azula didn't acknowledge it. "Is that what you want? For her to have a scar like I did?"
Azula's eyes skimmed the left side of his face and her fingers twitched. Zuko fought the urge to turn away. "I suppose it doesn't matter if the bloodbender can heal the brat or not," Azula said eventually. "I just want her gone."
She wanted Mother and Kiyi gone? He asked, confused. "But…" That wasn't right; Azula had wanted to find their mother just as much as he had. She'd led them to Hira'a after all.
"Don't be so stupid Zu-zu," Azula snapped, reading his mind. "Our mother is noble by ancestry and by marriage- it's the foreigners and lowborn that don't belong. Don't you get it?" She crossed the room, approaching him like a panther cat stalking prey and he fought the urge to shuffle back, away from her. "You may have gotten some… ideas, when you were banished. Letting commoners of good character attend court, letting your little girlfriend have a room in the palace… but you're the Fire Lord now, Zu-zu. You need to remember what's important."
She towered over him, self-assured and smiling. He glared up at her for a long while in silence before, finally giving in. "What's that, Azula?"
Azula rolled her eyes and crossed the room, heading over to Zuko's dresser.
Zuko released a breath he hadn't realised he was holding and scowled; she still scared him.
He watched as Azula traced pale fingers over the mother-of-pearl inlay and picked up a small portrait of their mother from years ago, painted with just Zuko and Azula as a child and toddler. Before either started bending, before their father's treatment of them changed.
Azula lit a small fireball in one hand and Zuko jumped up, ready to fight her but she just looked at the portrait, holding the flame at a safe distance, her thumb moving gently across the protective glass of the frame almost reverently.
"What do I want…" Azula murmured softly.
The rage and fear in Zuko seemed to deflate as his sister stared at the portrait. In it, she was a tiny toddler with a wide smile as her mother held her still, cradled close to her. All he felt now was grief.
"You know, Kiyi looks a lot like you at that age."
Azula didn't respond, just ran her thumb over the glass, back and forth, back and forth, like a caress.
"Kinda acts like you too, sometimes, which is a bit scary," His mouth was dry, and he had to force the words out. "Remember how you used to chase me around? How you used to want to show me everything you learned? Kiyi likes to do that too."
Azula glanced at him over her shoulder, the light of her searing blue fire backlighting her, showing only her profile. "I'm not like that anymore," She said, voice flat.
"No," Zuko's heart was hammering in his chest. He wished it didn't have to be this way, he wished he could have saved her. "We can't change the past, Azula."
She set the portrait down on the dresser, gently, so gently.
"No," She agreed, the fireball in her hand swelling. "We can't."
.
Time didn't matter anymore.
Katara was exhausted. She lay her head down on the soft coverlet beside Kiyi's sleeping face and fought to keep her focus as she infused the child's face with healing water, channeling it into the girl's muscle and nerves to slowly reconnect them with minimal discomfort for the patient.
She may not be a master healer like Yugoda, but she was a master waterbender and a quick learner. Countless healing sessions of herself and her friends had paid off, thankfully. Kiyi's healing session wouldn't be too uncomfortable.
"Master Katara, you need to rest," Lai rested a polite but firm hand on her shoulder and Katara opened her eyes. When had she closed them? Ursa and Ikem were crouched over Kiyi, tearstained faces pale and intent on their daughter's recovery.
"I can do more," Katara protested, struggling into an upright position..
Ursa's eyes snapped up. "But I thought… Can't you heal her completely? You did it for Zuko…" Her voice was hoarse, pained.
Katara nodded, eager to help even as her eyelids gre heavy. "I can- it might take a little while, that's all…"
Lai's hand on Katara's shoulder tightened. "Healing requires significant focus and energy," She said, sounding deferential but with an undercurrent of defensive steel. "I have sent for the Royal physician to attend to your daughter, Lady Ursa, but Master Katara will be able to do more when she is fully rested herself."
Ikem and Ursa exchanged a concerned look and Katara could understand why; their daughter's face was still burned and bloodied. It looked raw and painful.
"She's not in any pain," Katara reassured them. "I numbed the nerve endings."
"We'll apply poultices and dressings to help fight any risk of infection," Lai reassured them. "And we can call for some valerian root to help her sleep through the night."
"But-" Ursa looked down at Kiyi, eyes lost.
Ikem's hand ran up the length of Ursa's arm. "Katara's doing a wonderful job," He said lowly. "But it's been a long day for everyone. The guards are here, Lai's sent for the healers… Katara needs rest and so do you."
Ursa began to shake. "Azula did this," She said quietly. "My Azula…" Her beautiful face creased and she began to sob. Ikem glanced to Katara and smiled sorrowfully.
"Thank you Katara- for all you've done."
He pulled his wife into a firm embrace and ran his hand over her back. Katara allowed Lai to pull her to her feet and followed the older woman past the silent guards and into the hallway.
Normally, overnight, the hallways of the Fire Nation palace were silent and dark. Tonight, despite the darkness outside, the hallways were all brightly lit and the clanging of armoured feet echoed off the walls. It felt anything but peaceful.
"They haven't found Azula yet, then," Katara muttered darkly.
Lai said nothing, simply led Katara through the uncomfortably bright hallways.
Katara reached up to fiddle with her hair, feeling self conscious. "Thanks for what you said in there," She started. "I- uh, you didn't have to."
Lai sniffed haughtily, not looking at her. "No point letting you exhaust yourself and risk mistakes."
"Thanks," Katara grimaced. Her head felt foggy after… however long she'd been focusing on Kiyi's facial burns. Time had slipped away. "I appreciate you looking out for me anyway, I know you don't like me very much."
She regretted saying it as soon as it slipped out. She was tired, drained… she'd lost her filter. To her credit, Lai didn't even blink at the slip of the tongue. "My apologies, Master Katara, if I've made you feel that way."
Katara stared at the ground, mortified. "Sorry," She blurted. "That was rude."
"You've had a trying day, a little slip of the tongue is understandable."
They passed a corridor where soldiers were searching guest rooms for traces of Azua, the sound of moving furniture and controlled firebending were unsettling; like the palace was under siege. She supposed it was. "I'm not very welcome here, am I?" She said, defeated. "There's never going to be a- correct way to integrate me into Fire Nation high society. They look at me and they just see a..." A peasant, a Water Tribe slut, an unworthy woman with no virtue. "We should have waited."
"For how long?"
Katara blinked. The sound of firebending and scraping of furniture seemed to be getting louder as they walked but Katara was too tired to pay attention. "What do you mean?"
Lai kept her hands clasped in front of her, chin high and proud. "How long would you wait? And what would you wait for?" Lai's eyes, piercing and bright, slid to Katara. "Seems to me you've already waited too long. As for whether you're welcome…" Her eyes returned to the corridor ahead. "People don't like change but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing."
"Katara!" Aang was approaching from another corridor with Iroh. "Can you hear that? What's going on?"
Katara blinked blearily at Iroh. "Where is Zuko?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed together. "Is he still with his sister?"
"He went to help you search for Azula…" Katara frowned, looking between everyone's confused faces with growing unease. "Didn't he find you?"
"No…" Iroh said, very seriously. "How long ago did he leave you?"
Katara looked to Lai. "Not quite an hour ago, my Lord."
The scraping and crashing of furniture continued in the background. They should really be more careful whilst searching… Katara thought vaguely. It sounds like a fight.
Through the haze, she barely registered the alarmed look Iroh and Aang exchanged before they darted off in the direction of the noise. Katara turned to Lai, whose face had paled. "Do you think you can fight?"
Katara could finally place the source of her unease; it wasn't the sound of furniture being moved or firebending to find hidden passages… It sounded like two firebenders tearing into each other.
"Yes," She gasped, adrenaline flooding her veins and with it, clarity of thought. Zuko had not gone to help with the search; he must have known Azula wouldn't be found unless she wanted to reveal herself and who could tempt her out but the brother who'd stolen her destiny?
Katara's vision narrowed as she hurled herself down the corridor, round corners, navigating the twisting path to the Fire Lord's bedroom with ease.
She was running towards the open door of Zuko's rooms when a bright blast of orange fire crashed into the opposite wall. Katara fell back, lifting an arm to shield her face from the heat even as her heart lifted with hope. If the fire was orange, there was a good chance Zuko was still fighting.
She poked her head around the door jamb and squinted against the brightness. Blue and orange clashed together and her heart stuttered, reminded too keenly of the day of Sozin's Comet.
Everything was on fire. The great, canopied bed had licks of golden flame blackening the antique, stained wood, the plush silk covers were smoking terribly, the wall hangings were aflame, with pieces of paper and tapestry falling off in bright, burning chunks.
The smoke stung her eyes, her nose. The air was dry and Katara felt terribly exposed and vulnerable, having used the last of her own water on Kiyi's healing.
"Azula! Stop!" The voice was faint, but she was sure it was Zuko's. "I don't want to fight you!"
Azula's shouted response was lost in a roar of blue flame and Katara cursed the fact that she couldn't see.
She could vaguely see the outlines of four people fighting in the large antechamber and tried to place who was who. Aang was easy enough to identify- he sprang high and brought up a column of earth to protect him from a fierce, blue blast of fire.
Quickly, keeping low, Katara slipped into the room. Maybe if she could make it to the bathroom she could get some water…
A streak of blue fire halted her in her tracks, but it wasn't aimed at her. In the middle of the firefight, Iroh gasped in pain and fell to the floor. "Uncle!" Zuko's voice was hoarse and panicked.
"Azula, you have to stop!" Aang's voice, clear and young, carried over the fire. "You're destroying everything!"
Azula's lip curled in contempt. "I am saving everything!"
Katara squinted through the fire to see Aang crouched over Iroh, grey eyes wide with concern. Zuko threw himself between them and Azula, beating his chest with one hand. "Come on! You want to fight me? Fight me!" He shouted. "Stop hurting everyone else!"
"Can't you see?" Azula demanded, looking furious. "If they were gone everything would be how it was supposed to be! You, me and Mother."
"That's never going to happen," Zuko sounded heartbroken. Azula stared at him for a long moment and Katara was surprised to see tears in her eyes. She faltered and for a second Katara thought she was going to relent but instead, Azula's eyes narrowed and brought her hands close to her chest, circling them around her core deliberately with fingers pointed.
Lightning.
With a determined growl, Katara brought herself up to full height, rising up behind the flames of battle. She lifted her arms to grasp for Azula's blood…
But couldn't.
Her focus was too weak, her exhaustion was bone-deep. She had just enough influence over Azula's blood to catch the firebender's attention.
It was an awful, echoing repeat of last time. Zuko's eyes followed Azula's and his eyes widened in naked, transparent fear.
"No!"
And again, Katara had put herself in the firing line.
Azula aimed.
Zuko launched himself in front of her, reaching for the lightning bolt that crackled at the edge of Azula's fingertips.
There was a white-hot explosion.
Azula was sent flying backwards into Zuko's dresser and slumped to the floor, unconscious.
With the immediate danger gone, Katara couldn't help it. Her eyes slid shut and she fell into the dark.