Here's the next chapter! I hope you like it. And please let me know what you think, it always motivates me to get reviews. And thank you for the ones I got for the previous chapter, you're awesome!
I don't own the characters or places.
The moment their lips touched, Albus thought that his heart was going to stop beating. Gellert's hand was still on his cheek and Albus would have loved to touch him as well, but his body wouldn't react. He was frozen – maybe in shock or because this was too good to be true – and the only thing he managed was to close his eyes.
Gellert's lips on his were incredibly soft. Albus had often imagined what it would be like to kiss someone and this was much better than everything he had ever made up in his mind. Apart from the hand on his cheek, Gellert didn't touch Albus. The kiss was hesitant and Albus wondered if Gellert thought that he didn't want this. That he would push him away.
He only realized his mistake when Gellert pulled back after a short time. Albus opened his eyes and his heart was racing now. Gellert looked at him with wide eyes and he thought that he could see shock in them – and maybe hurt? When Gellert had kissed him, Albus had not reacted at all. He had been too overwhelmed.
"Albus, I'm sorry –" Gellert whispered and wanted to take a step back. Albus panicked and thought that he would just leave. So he did the only thing he could think of now.
He wrapped his arms around Gellert and pushed him against the nearest tree. And then he pressed his lips against Gellerts'. He was still looking at Albus wide-eyed, but as soon as their lips touched again, Gellert relaxed. He wrapped one arm around Albus' waist and the other one was on his cheek again.
It was thrilling, kissing Gellert. The feeling of their lips moving against each other was still too good to be true. And now Albus ran a hand down Gellert's back and buried the other one in Gellert's hair – something he wanted to do for some time by now.
"I'm sorry." Albus whispered once they broke the kiss. "You surprised me."
"I should have told you this a long time ago." Gellert replied and smiled softly. "I was just worried…"
"That I would not feel the same?" Albus finished his sentence and Gellert nodded silently. "I thought that as well." Albus admitted. "That you would not like me… like this." He added.
Gellert chuckled. "Sometimes you can be very stupid. Who could not like you, Albus? You are a great person. You're kind and smart and very good looking… Who would not see all this when he looks at you?"
Albus cheeks began to burn. "I just see me. And I'm not a very special person. I don't do things others would admire. In school, I learned most of the time. And now I am busy with my studies. And I take care of my family. That's rather boring."
"I think you are a very interesting person." Gellert said with a wide smile. "And you are special, Albus. Trust me." Gellert hesitated. "I just thought that someone like me would be too… troublesome for you."
Albus couldn't believe what he just heard. Did Gellert really think that he was troublesome? "Don't say something like that." He protested. Their faces were still very close to each other and they were whispering. "You are not annoying or anything like that. And I don't want you to say this again. I already told you that you're a great person. And that I like you very much. I love spending time with you and our conversations are always interesting. You're very important to me, Gel."
Albus thought that the expression on Gellert's face was nervous. "That's not what I meant." He whispered. Albus raised his eyebrows and Gellert sighed. "You know why I am here. Not because I missed my aunt so much. What I did back at school… You know what happened, Albus. I am not a good person. And yes, I know that you would disagree. You said that before. But I am not sure how long I can stand all this. Don't get me wrong, it doesn't have anything to do with you. I love the time we spend together. But this kind of magic… the Dark Arts… they're fascinating. It's tempting, learning more about them. I am not sure how long I can resist. Right now, everything's fine. However, I fear that they might catch me again someday… Maybe not this year or in the next years. But what about ten years, or twenty? Or even more? No one knows what might happen… And I would still like to find the Hallows. I know we didn't talk about this for a long time and I'm sorry for bringing it up right now, in a moment like this. I truly am. I just want to make sure you know all this when we are together. That I can't promise you to stay away from this forever."
He said all those things with a sad expression on his face that nearly broke Albus' heart. There was this guarded look in Gellert's eyes, as if he was already preparing for Albus to pull away. To say that he didn't want this after all.
Albus wasn't going to do any of those things.
Gellert was looking down now and Albus placed a hand under his chin to make him look up again. He had known that this moment would come. The moment in which they would have to talk about all the things they had avoided for weeks. Albus wished that it wouldn't have come so soon. And especially not in a moment like this, after their first kiss. However, this was something that couldn't be changed anymore. There was this knot in his stomach again – the one which had been there after the accident with Gellert and Aberforth, when he had feared that Gellert would leave him. Albus knew that it was fear now. How could he make Gellert understand that they would make it through all this? And that a life without the Dark Arts was possible. Albus had to make him understand that they were bad and that it destroyed everyone who used them. He was afraid that Gellert might not understand it.
"Gel, look at me." Albus whispered when Gellert still avoided to look into his eyes. "I understand that this is difficult for you. And that this whole situation is probably the worst you could imagine. But –"
He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence. Suddenly, Gellert grabbed Albus' arms and flipped them around. Now Albus was the one being pressed against the tree and Gellert was standing in front of him, a stern look on his face. "Don't." He demanded. "Don't you ever say something like that again! How can you even think that I don't like this? That being here doesn't make me happy. Coming here was a torture, that's true. Being expelled from school and having to leave my home as well. But don't you dare to think that I do not like being here. All that changed when I met you, Albus. I am happier than I've been in my entire life now. Here, with you. So don't say those things again." Slowly, the anger in Gellert's eyes vanished and was replaced by a soft smile. "Ever since we met, I only wanted you." He was whispering now and Albus thought that he could hear his heart beating. "And I hope that it will never change." The last sentence showed Gellert's insecurity again. He was still pushing Albus against the tree and had his hands wrapped around his arms, as if he wanted to make sure that Albus wouldn't run away.
"Then don't let it." Was the only thing Albus managed to whisper in this moment. He was lost in Gellert's eyes, there was a conflict in them. Albus could see the anger and despair in them. But also something else – it was a much softer look. The one he always showed when he looked at Albus.
"It's not that easy." Gellert muttered darkly.
"Why not?"
He sighed. "You know me, Albus. When something comes to my mind, I can't let it go anymore. I just have to do those things, no matter what it costs. And all those dreams I had for years… They don't just vanish. Don't you know what I mean?"
Albus knew exactly what he was talking about. He had dreams as well and when they couldn't come true, it had nearly destroyed him. However, he wouldn't say that he would do anything to make them come true. There were more important things than wishes and dreams. The people you loved, for example. In the past months, Albus had learned that lesson.
"I understand your opinion about this." Albus began hesitantly. "And I know how important those things are for you. The Hallows, for example. Your excitement caught me too. And it's a really interesting story and I often wonder if it is true. But Gellert… the Dark Arts." He swallowed, not sure if he should continue. The patient look on Gellert's face gave him the courage to do so. "There is a reason for them being forbidden. They are dangerous and it has happened many times that people got lost in the power they give one. And it has never ended well… Most of the times, people died." The last sentences was barely a whisper and Gellert sighed.
He let go of Albus' arms and took a step back. "I know, Albus." He said simply and ran a hand through his hair. The troubled look on his face was back. "I know that very well." Albus wasn't sure, but he thought that there was pain in Gellert's eyes.
"What do you mean?" He asked slowly and frowned when Gellert started to pace in front of him.
"I really don't want to talk about it." The sudden change of tone in Gellert's voice made Albus flinch. Suddenly, his voice was cold and distant. Albus took a step towards him hesitantly and stretched out his arm towards him, but Gellert jerked back immediately. "Don't." He hissed and Albus stumbled back, surprised by the harshness in that word. The sudden change in Gellert's behaviour confused him. And there was something else too. He was hurt. A short time ago, they had told each other about their feelings and they had kissed. Now, Gellert acted as if he would be glad if Albus left him alone.
Apparently, the look on his face told Gellert much about his feelings. Gellert's expression softened a little bit, even if he still looked troubled. Or was it angry? "Give me some space, Albus. Please." Gellert said in a calmer voice and stopped in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he continued: "I said once that I will tell you what really happened when the time is right. Back in the garden, when I had the fight with Aberforth. Now seems to be a good moment."
Albus crossed his arms unintentionally. He had tried not to think about this in the past weeks because he really didn't want to know who hit him with the spell. He was too afraid that it was Gellert. And at the same time, he didn't want it to be Aberforth as well.
"Just promise me that you will not run away before I told you everything, alright?" Did he just imagine it, or was Gellert's voice shaking?
"Alright." He said slowly, not sure what he should expect.
"Promise me this, please." Gellert repeated more urgently.
Albus nodded. "I promise." At that, Gellert's lips twitched. However, the dark expression on his face remained.
"That day, you were too fast. I was too focused on Aberforth and I was just so angry… You have to understand that I really didn't expect you to stand between us. And without a wand. What a stupid idea… I don't know what I thought back then. Maybe that you would disarm us or a protection spell…" Gellert shrugged and ran a hand through his hair again, which was already a mess. "I never wanted to hurt you. You have to believe me, Albus. I could never hurt you." The pleading look on his face nearly made Albus' knees give in. He wanted nothing more than to hug Gellert right now, but he had asked him for space. He wouldn't get closer to him if Gellert didn't ask. At the same time, the numb feeling in his stomach got stronger and spread out over his entire body. He wasn't sure if he could move, even if he wanted it.
So Gellert's spell had brought him to St. Mungo's. Albus had already feared that.
The look on Gellert's face turned desperate when Albus just looked at him silently. "I didn't want to kill anyone. I didn't even plan to use that spell…" He began to pace in front of him again.
"Which one?" Albus was surprised by the calm tone of his voice.
Gellert just shook his head, but Albus repeated his question. He just needed to know it. Even if it broke his heart to torture Gellert like this. By the looks of it, he had beaten himself up because of the events for some time. "The Cruciatus Curse." Gellert whispered quietly.
"That's what I thought." Albus muttered and nodded more to himself. So his fears had been justified all the time.
"I'm so sorry, Albus. If I could make this undone, I would. I swear. I never wanted you to get hurt."
"Otherwise, it would have hit my brother." Albus said calmly and closed his eyes. "Gellert…" How cold he make him understand that they should just let those things stay in the past?
"I never wanted to use one of those curses. In the fight, I just stopped thinking…" Gellert made a step towards Albus but stopped insecure. There was a distance between them now. "I would understand if you don't want to see me again after this."
Albus sighed. "It would be awesome if you let me tell you what I think before you just assume that I'll hate you from now on. Because that is obviously not true. And never going to happen." At those words, Gellert's eyes widened. Albus chose his next words carefully. "It doesn't matter whose spell it was that sent me to St. Mungo's. And I know that you've been blaming yourself ever since. I want you to stop that. There is no need to feel guilty, Gel. It has happened and no one can change it anymore. And no one got seriously hurt. I am alright, you and Aberforth are fine as well. I could never blame you for this." Albus paused and let his words stay between them for a few moments. "Of course it's hard to hear that it was one of the unforgivable curses… However, you never made any attempt to use such spells again. We didn't even talk about the Dark Arts anymore or the Deathly Hallows."
"I've been trying so hard." Gellert whispered before Albus could say anything else. "I didn't think of those things in the past weeks. And I am still trying not to do it. It's not always easy, but I am doing it for you. For us. I am just not sure if I am strong enough to resist forever."
"I know that. And you are strong enough, Gel. I am sure of that."
Gellert shook his head. "Please don't say it like that. It will make it even harder when I lose control."
"That will not happen." Albus did his best to make Gellert believe him. Because he was positive that he could resist those things. Gellert was stronger than he thought.
"You don't know that." Gellert's voice was barely a whisper and Albus could hear the insecurity in his tone. Gellert looked at him sadly. "As I said. It might work now. But in a few years?" He shrugged. "Right now, everything is fine. I am happy. However, it won't stay like this forever. And maybe then old dreams will be tempting enough to make me change my mind?"
"You forget one thing." Albus threw in calmly. When Gellert just frowned at him, he smiled slightly. "You are not alone in this. Whatever happens, I'll be by your side. And together, we can get through this. No matter if the times are good or bad. I won't leave you, Gel."
The sad expression on Gellert's face told Albus that something else was bothering him. "What is it? You look like there's something else."
"I had a dream. A few nights ago." Gellert began hesitantly. He had told Albus about his dreams a few times by now. Sometimes, they even came true. But just as often, Gellert was plagued by nightmares and they were just normal dreams.
"What was it about?"
Gellert closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Why did he look so scared again? "It was about us. We were much older. You were a teacher at Hogwarts, Albus." While saying that, Gellert opened his eyes to smile slightly. "And I was… well, I don't know where I was, to be honest. It seemed to be a meeting. An old building made of stone, people were sitting all around me. Witches and wizards. And there were Aurors. I don't know what I was doing there, but apparently, the people were listening to what I said. And then a fight broke out. Most of the people escaped, but a few Aurors were killed. And then there was a man. A young wizard with red hair and a suitcase. He tried to fight me, along with a few others." Gellert paused. "A few could escape, the man with the red hair as well. Most Aurors didn't survive the evening." Gellert ran a hand through his hair again. "It didn't look like we were standing side by side then. More like they asked you to fight me."
Albus didn't know what to say. He hoped that this was just a normal dream. A nightmare; something people had once in a while. He knew one thing. He could never fight Gellert. No matter what happened. Probably not even if he tried to conquer the world.
"It was just a dream." Albus said calmly and thought about hugging Gellert now. "Nothing of importance. You had a nightmare, Gellert."
He didn't seem to be convinced. "It felt different." He muttered and Albus shook his head.
"Just listen to me. You might have those dreams that come true once in a while. But that doesn't mean that every dream has to be like that. And let us just assume that you saw the future, which I do not believe. What makes you think that it really has to come like that? Isn't there a chance that we can still change it? Nothing is settled now, the future at least."
"I don't want those things to happen." Gellert admitted quietly. "It was terrible to think that we could stand against each other in the future. And that I might be the one responsible for it. Because that is what will happen if I lose control and give in to the Dark Arts. Or the Hallows."
"You won't lose control." Albus said firmly. "I won't let you."
Slowly, Gellert's expression softened. "Albus…" He whispered, but he shook his head.
"I will never let you lose control. And now I will promise you something. I will never leave you, Gel. I haven't said it before because I always thought you knew that. We will go through all this together. No matter what happens."
Gellert had a shocked expression on his face. "You still want to be with me?" He asked and it sounded as if Albus was completely insane. "After what I did? And what I told you…?"
"I already said that it should stay in the past." Albus said calmly and couldn't stop the small smile from appearing on his lips. "And the future isn't set. We can make it through all those things. Together. If you want to have me by your side." He hesitated. "You know what I think of the Dark Arts. And that I could try to prevent you from fulfilling your dreams. It is your choice, if you want to have me with you then."
Gellert shook his head slowly. "You're crazy. Of course I want you by my side, Albus. There's nothing I want more." He took a step towards him hesitantly, as if he was not sure that Albus would stay when he got closer. Slowly, Gellert reached out to touch Albus' cheek. They both leaned in slowly, but right before their lips touched, Gellert hesitated. So Albus closed the last distance between them and kissed Gellert.
The kiss was even more hesitant than their first one – the things they had talked about were still on their minds. However, Albus couldn't be happier than in this moment. When Gellert wrapped his arms around Albus, he noticed that they were fitting together perfectly. When they pulled back after what seemed like hours, Gellert smiled shyly. "Who knows, maybe my dreams are about to change?" He whispered and placed both his hands on Albus' cheeks. "A life with you sounds more tempting than any magic in this world can ever be."
Then he leaned in to kiss him again.