Hey everyone! I'm so happy to see the reactions for this story! I'm so excited for this one! There is nothing I love more than a tattooed daddy. I really think you will enjoy this one. It will be entirely in Edward's POV, but I probably will throw in a few Bella outtakes. I just really want the main focus to be Edward and how he adapts to fatherhood and falling in love with Bella.
This story will be rated M for language, drug use (in flashbacks), and sexual contact (with Bella). Just a bit of a warning…if any of that bothers you, then maybe this isn't the one for you. But if not…I'm so excited you will be along for the ride!
Thanks BeLynda for helping me clean this up!
"In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That spilt the night
And touched the sound of silence"
-Simon & Garfunkel-
EPOV:
Reality is gone and my perception of time is lost. Around every corner is the unknown, and everything familiar is heightened. I float through the park with Vicky glued to my side, unaware that her moods are low. She's scratching her arm so hard that her white skin turns an ugly pink. I reach my arm out to stop her, but she shudders away and continues to scratch until she bleeds.
Her blood swirls as it interacts with the air, before flying off into the clouds. I chuckle at this, and I see her calls of distress. We fall to the ground together and stare up at the sky; I hold her hand to keep her still. But she continues as I stare off into space, entertained by the sights and sounds surrounding us.
A ringing floods through my ears and there is a vibration is felt against my leg, but I ignore it.
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It is odd being back at home; I feel like an intruder in my parents lives. I ignore Mom's iciness and concentrate on Charlie; little Charlie who has no idea what happened. He cries out, his big eyes searching for my brother, before they finally settle on me.
I'm a stranger to him; I never came home after he was born, too busy with my former life. But as I hold him, I regret not meeting him sooner. He is much smaller than I imagined. I've never been around a baby before; I never knew how small they felt. He can't weigh much; he is so little I am afraid to hold him for fear that I will cause some damage. When he is in my arms around mom, she watches me like a hawk, as if I will break her six-month old grandson.
I give him his bottle, fascinated with watching him suck on the rubber nipple. He watches me as I feed him, his large eyes filled with curiosity. I smile at him, with my first smile since I came home. My heart picks up as he grins back, before continuing to drink his formula. As cheesy as it sounds, I feel odd even thinking this, but I feel as if we just shared our first moment together.
"I'm going to take care of you from now on Charlie," I tell him in a quiet voice.
He stares up at me as if he knew exactly what I just said, and smiles again.
"I promise to do a good job buddy," I say with a tired sigh, "But first, we just have to find a place to live. Would you like that?"
Charlie giggles at me, and I smile in return. "Can I take that as a yes buddy?" Charlie giggles again.
When he finishes his formula, I bring him to rest on my shoulder and pat his back as I have seen women do on television. I wait, expecting some sort of response from the baby, and finally he burps.
"Was that good buddy?"
Charlie giggles and reaches out for me, and I hold him close. It's hard to look at him sometimes; he looks so much like my older brother. It's disconcerting, holding his son, knowing that my brother is gone. I've never been religious, but now that Seth has died, I hope there is some sort of afterlife. I would like to know he is watching over his son.
"What are you going to do now?"
I look up from Charlie and find Mom leaning against the doorframe, watching us. Charlie makes a few different sounds against my chest, as if he is trying to answer her.
"Well, I thought I would find a job and take some of the money I have saved up and buy a place for Charlie and me."
Charlie makes a few noises and stares up at me with a big grin. But Mom doesn't look at me with same contentment; instead, she looks as if she just tasted something sour.
"Edward, you can't be serious," she bites, before coming to stand before me. "Do you really think you can take care of a baby? Edward, you can barely take care of yourself. Do you think Seth would want his son with someone like you?"
Someone like me? I'm his brother. Nobody has experience at first anyway; we all have to learn somehow." I keep my tone neutral, not wanting to alarm Charlie.
"You're not the type to take care of a baby Edward," Mom says as if she were trying to help.
She doesn't even bother to mask her discomfort around me. She lost her son, but I lost my brother. Does she think that I don't feel pain? Am I not human as well? Perhaps to her I am not, to her I am just a fuck up. In her eyes, I am a tatted-up junkie.
"I love him already," I say quietly, unable to look at her. I don't want to see the judgement in her stare.
"If you love him, you would want what is best for him," she coldly reasons.
"Seth knew what would be best for his son," I confidently state, "and he decided to leave his son with me."
I wouldn't give Charlie up for anything. Now that he is with me, I will never let him go. He's so little and he needs me. But honestly, I need him as well. We can save each other.
A/N: So, what are you guys thinking? I know it is really early on, but let me know your thoughts! I really appreciate all that review! It means a lot to me! What do you guys think of an all EPOV story? I haven't done that before, so I am excited!
Side note…when Edward says he "see her calls for distress"…. some people experience synesthesia while being intoxicated on LSD.
Song- "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel