Giant thanks to Paige and Sherry for being amazing betas! Also thanks to each and every one of you that have showed your support by reviewing, following, and favoriting this story! It's still crazy to me that so many people are reading this story! I am so thankful for you guys! You make me want to write every single day!

"Come as you are, as you were

As I want you to be

As a friend, as a friend

As a known enemy

Take your time, hurry up

The choice is yours, don't be late

Take a rest as a friend, as an old memory."

-Nirvana-

EPOV:

Jasper makes me feel like my old self, the boy I was before the boozing, fighting, and whoring around. When I was much younger, before I hit high school, my life was a lot simpler. I stayed in my room and read comic books and pretended I was anywhere but home. My life wasn't perfect, but I hadn't been old enough to fuck it up.

Looking back, things had never been that great for me. I thought since I hadn't been physically abused or severely neglected, that my childhood hadn't been so bad. In many ways it was fine, and I did have some great memories with my brother and father, but it was never anything extraordinary. I had been depressed for a while, I can remember that. I never admitted it at the time, but something inside of me never felt quite right. Everyone would be smiling and laughing around me, and I felt as if I were just there, existing.

Having Jasper as a reminder of what my life had once been, makes me look at my childhood with a more critical eye. Had my mom ever been really nice to me?Had she ever shown me any emotion, other than indifference, when it hadn't benefited her? I can't answer that question. Mostly because I don't want to believe the truth. I can't think of one instance where she was ever really warm toward me. When my dad was around, of course she would show affection, but when he wasn't…. she barely even talked to me. I felt like the odd man out in my own home.

I think Seth picked up on it, because he had always made sure I was alright. And when she had shown him affection in front of me, he always looked uncomfortable and almost apologetic. He saw the coldness in our mother, even though he never had to deal with it firsthand. Perhaps that is why he gave me Charlie, because he knew that past my rough exterior and my questionable life choices, I would be able to love his son, the way a child should be. I can give Charlie the love and guidance he deserves.

One particular memory has stuck with me from my childhood. It is random, but I had always remembered it. When I was around six years old, I went with my mom to one of my brother's plays in elementary school. I had been so excited about it, seeing my older brother, who had been my idol, acting on stage with all of his friends. I wanted to sit on my mom's lap, but she wouldn't let me because she was holding the camera. I remember feeling sad, but I had been quickly distracted by the play. Halfway through, I had to go to the bathroom, but mom didn't want to take me because she would miss some of the play. "Go ahead, Edward. You know where the bathroom is."I went off by myself and found the bathroom, but it had two exits and I got mixed up and went out the wrong one. I hadn't recognized my surroundings and I had cried because I was so scared I wouldn't see my brother ever again. Eventually, some nice older woman found me, and I remember her yelling at my mom when we finally found her. As scared as I had been, all I remember was how frightened I was that I would never see my brother again.

Looking back, I can't believe my mom let me go off by myself. I couldn't imagine letting Charlie go anywhere alone. Just the thought of him walking around empty halls with tears running down his face, makes me want to throw up.

"You okay man?"

Jasper pulls me from my thoughts and I give him a tight smile. I hate how weak memories of my past make me feel. I feel as though I was still the same helpless, confused little boy I once was. It's times like this, I wish I could drink. The cool taste of a hoppy IPA would really hit the spot right now…

"I'm fine, just thinking."

One of the things I like about Jasper, is that he is great about knowing when to not ask me questions. It's as if he can sense my emotions or some shit like that.We've only hung out a few times, but we already get each other and he is so accepting of me in his sister-in-law's life.

"Do you think the girls are having fun?" I ask, steering the topic away from me.

Jasper snorts and takes another drink of his soda. I feel bad that he can't drink around me, but he insisted."Well, they're at the mall...so at least my wife is having fun."

Alice insisted that Cyndy and Bella go with her to the mall for a 'girl's day.' By the look on my girlfriend's face, she didn't want to go, but I think she wanted to give me some time to chill with Jasper and Charlie and decided to go along with her sister's plan.

"Bella doesn't seem to be too big on shopping," I say, as Charlie begins to stir awake in my lap.

He stretches his arms and his mouth forms into a little "o," before he opens his eyes and stares up at me with a toothless smile. He yawns again, and then reaches his little arms toward me, indicating that he wants to be picked up.

"Naw, she isn't, but my wife is. I'm just happy Bella is willing to go with her. God knows I love Alice, but I can't stand to spend more than an hour at the mall," he chuckles.

Charlie is resting on my shoulder, happy now that I'm holding him close to my chest. "Da da," he says, as if testing out the word, "da da, da da, da da."

Jasper smiles and I explain, "It's the only thing he knows how to say."

"Hey, every boy loves his father. I can't wait until Alice and I have another, I've always wanted a son."

I want to correct him, and say that he isn't technicallymine, but I keep my mouth shut. Even though I'm not biologically his father, he is mine.

"I'm lucky to have him, I never thought I would be a father," I say instead.

"Well, you're doing great dude! You're a natural."

I smile at his compliment and look down at my son. "Well, he's pretty cool and doesn't give me too much grief," I laugh.

"I was thinking," Jasper says after a while, "Alice and I can babysit sometime if you want. I know you must want some alone time with Bella."

My mind reels with possibilities. I haven't had a night to myself in so long and with the way our relationship is progressing, I know a night alone with my girlfriend is long overdue. I've taken things slow with Bella, not wanting to ruin our relationship by allowing things to get too physical, too fast. I want Bella desperately, but I want our first time together to be special. I don't want to just fuck her like some asshole. That was my past. I couldn't imagine the old me, fucking a girl like Bella. I'm not that guy anymore. Bella deserves the absolute best, that is, if she wants to move forward with the physical side of our relationship. If Bella would agree to have sex with me, I would make sure it was the most incredible and loving experience of her life.

"That would be great, man. I could take Bella out on a real date and we could… see how the night progresses."

Jasper laughs at me and I know I'm being dumb. He obviously knows what's on my mind. "Well, good luck to the two of you."

I don't need luck.God, that thought makes me laugh. If I'm going to plan the perfect date for my girlfriend, I'm definitely going to need all the luck I can get.

A/N: Just a bit of a warning...this story will finally be earning its M rating soon. I'm super excited! Please review :).

Song- "Come As You Are" by Nirvana