I couldn't quite believe that it was Halloween already. My first few weeks at Hogwarts- at least, the first in this life- had been consumed by incessant paranoia, relieved only marginally by my new friends. Almost all of the spare time I could find was spent watching Harry from the shadows relentlessly, fearing that he could be attacked any moment. On top of that, I had weekly meetings with Dumbledore, drawing up numerous plans for scenarios in which Hogwarts was compromised and Harry was kidnapped or tortured or killed. I would check Hogwarts' security every night before bed, adding layer upon layer of enchantment, and even when I retired to my dorm I could never sleep for long, instead jolting awake with the lingering fear that I had forgotten something, or that someone had managed to break in during the time I'd been asleep. On the few occasions that I managed more than an hour's sleep, I was plagued by nightmares. My dreams had worsened gradually over the years, but now they tormented me regularly with the deaths of Harry, myself, and, even on occasion, Tom.
Being back at Hogwarts was more painful than I could have imagined. The castle had always held memories for me- both good and bad- but now I was constantly struck by the awful nostalgia it prompted. The Slytherin common room, where Tom and I had often hung out. The hallway where the Room of Requirement was, that we had often journeyed down. The dining table, the lake, the grounds- they were all steeped in my memories of Tom. I missed it, I realised. I missed my life as Evangeline Chambers when it had just been me and Tom and our friendship.
Aristomache was suddenly more of a comfort than ever, and I began consciously making the effort to visit her more often, bringing her snacks and just staying in the Chamber to talk to her. Her surliness was strangely reassuring, and I knew that under her prickly exterior, she genuinely cared about me.
What surprised me the most was my instant friendship with Draco Malfoy.
Initially, I'd decided to befriend him- and the other children of Death Eaters- in an effort to essentially be an undercover spy. I'd reasoned that if there was a plot to destroy Harry, I had a fair chance of discovering it if I was close to the Dark families. With those thoughts in mind, I'd contrived to bump into Draco in Diagon Alley, and subsequently initiated a friendship. I had only thought of how I could use him to my advantage- and unfortunately, I was very good at doing just that.
And yet, as we spent more and more time together, I found myself unconsciously growing to like him. He wasn't Tom- no-one could ever replace Tom- but he was funny and quick and we never seemed to have trouble talking. There was this spontaneous, mutual chemistry between us, something that was rare, at least for me. He was arrogant, to be sure, but this did not make his company less appealing to me; I was by far the more arrogant one, and my arrogance somehow seemed to cancel out his.
The other Slytherins I was less acquainted with, but they seemed alright when I spoke to them. Sly, conniving and proud, with a healthy dose of ambition. And utterly enthralled with Draco and me.
Draco and I were natural attention seekers and leaders. It was hardly surprising that we attracted the attention of our yeargroup. We had all the traits required to be popular- and infamous. Charisma, beauty and no small amount of meanness. Being mean was an easy escape, at least for me. It distracted me from my crippling paranoia and took my mind off Tom.
Harry, thankfully, seemed blissfully unaware of my cruelty, and was always ready to grin at me when we passed in the corridor. I could not say the same for his Gryffindor friends.
It was the night of the Halloween Feast. Everything was normal. I was sat at the Slytherin table, chatting to Draco whilst keeping one eye on Harry at all times.
"Thank God that Quirrel's not here," Draco said through a mouthful of mashed potato. "I'm not sure I could stand watching him quiver and witter all night."
"He's probably holed up in his chambers, hiding under his duvet," I replied, gesticulating with my fork. "I swear, if you so much as breathed too loudly in his direction, he'd die from shock."
Draco chuckled. "Fancy testing that theory?"
"Yes please," I said, laughing. "It might actually provide us with some excitement for once."
Just at that moment, the man in question burst into the great hall as if summoned by our words. His face was deathly pale and he was shaking even more than usual.
"Troll!" he wailed, flapping his arms dramatically. "Troll in the dungeons!" Then he proceeded to faint.
"You just had to open your big mouth," Draco muttered to me. I elbowed him in the ribs.
Dumbledore stood up instantly, with a quick glance in my direction. "Prefects! Lead your houses back to your common rooms immediately!"
I glanced at Draco uneasily as the entire room rose to their feet and started shuffling off amid much noise and clamour. "So no-one's going to point out to him that the Slytherin common room is in the dungeons?" I whispered.
Draco shrugged. "I don't think he really cares if Slytherins get mauled to death by a troll, so long as the golden Gryffindors are safe."
"Fair point," I conceded, glancing over to the Gryffindor table. To my horror, I noticed Harry and his ginger friend- I couldn't be bothered to learn his name- sneak out of the hall in the opposite direction to the rest of his house. "You go ahead," I said to Draco distractedly. "I'll catch up with you I a minute."
"Wait, where are you—" Draco began, but I ignored him and slipped away in order to follow them. As I left, I passed Quirrel's unconscious body, still on the floor and in sever danger of being trampled. I stepped over his legs considerately, intending to pass him by when I was suddenly overcome with an aching sense of nostalgia. Something about Quirrel felt oddly familiar, like an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. But I ignored the strange sensation, intent on following Harry.
I trailed him down several corridors, and contemplated invading his mind to see what, exactly, he thought he was doing. Before I could make up my mind, however, we were confronted by the sight of a very large, very ugly troll.
I had spent the past weeks speculating on every possible attack that could be launched against Harry. Needless to say, a troll had not made it onto the list.
I arrived just in time to see the troll slouch through a doorway and Harry to slam the door shut on it. Apparently, Harry and his ginger friend had had the abysmal idea to lock it in the girls' bathroom. Which, by the sounds of screaming coming from within, was in fact occupied.
Both Harry and ginger yelled "Hermione!" at the same time, before preparing to barge into the bathroom.
"What the hell do you two think you're doing?" I asked cuttingly from behind them.
They both turned to look at me in shock.
"Zara!" Harry cried in recognition. "You have to help us, Hermione's in there with a troll!"
"I can see that," I replied calmly, as the screaming from inside the bathroom intensified. "I sincerely hope you weren't thinking of going in there."
"We have to save her!" Harry's ginger friend insisted.
"That's all very well," I said, "but it is a girl's bathroom, and there could well be scantily clad females in there." Both Harry and ginger went slightly red. "Best to let me handle this," I concluded, smiling insincerely and reaching for the door handle. "Neither of you move," I warned, before pushing the door open and entering the bathroom.
The stench of the troll was almost unbearable, so I decided not to bear it and just kill the thing as quickly as possible, which turned out to be surprisingly easy. As soon as it was dead, I cast a helpful air freshening spell. It helped, but didn't quite cancel out the odour of mouldy socks.
Carefully, I stepped around the troll's carcass and the debris of the bathroom to see a girl- Hermione, I presumed- huddled by the sinks in fear. She gazed up at me with red eyes wide in shock. I looked down at her calmly.
"Get up," I said.
"Dubois?" she whispered, her voice trembling.
"The very same," I replied. "Now get up and go outside. Your two idiot friends who tried to rescue you are waiting out there."
"Who?" she asked. "I don't have any friends."
"Well, apparently you do," I said coldly. "So suck it up and go speak to them. They were fully prepared to die for you."
Just as she was getting to her feet, Severus, Minerva and Quirrel burst in. The first two I knew from my days in the Order. It was strange now suddenly being so much younger than them. Minerva was white with fear and rage, while Severus bent over the troll's corpse. Quirrel, meanwhile, simply blanched and sank down onto a toilet. I felt that strange surge of familiarity again, like an invisible bond between us, but the feeling subsided and I decided that it was just my imagination.
Harry and the ginger peeked their heads guiltily around the door.
"What on earth were all of you thinking?" Minerva hissed, her face brimming with suppressed anger. "You could have been killed!"
"As could every student in this school if the troll had been properly dealt with by the faculty," I replied smoothly, inwardly seething that something like this had happened on my watch. Minerva was right. Harry could have been killed- and it was all my fault. I was angry at the staff, yes, but I was mostly angry at myself. "How the hell could this have been allowed to happen? I thought Hogwarts was supposed to be secure. I can tell you right now that the governors will be hearing about this from my parents. If this school is incapable of dealing with threats like this, then I recommend that new safety measures are needed."
There was utter silence, and I realised that I was probably not behaving like the average eleven-year-old would in this situation. I supposed it was too late now to go back.
"Now," I said briskly, before anyone had a chance to speak, "my classmates and I will be retiring to our dormitories while you figure out how your staff managed to be so incompetent as to allow a troll to break in, and work out how to prevent such events occurring in the future."
And with that, I dragged Hermione from the bathroom and left with my nose in the air.