Thanks Sherry and Paige! I couldn't do this without you ladies!
"You were a child
Crawling on your knees toward it
Making momma so proud
But your voice is too loud
We like to watch you laughing
You pick the insects off plants
No time to think of consequences."
-MGMT-
EPOV:
Cassandra and Devon, Kate's parents, have attempted to make contact with me over the past few days. I haven't tried to avoid them, but I've missed their calls and they've missed mine, causing the last few days to feel like a game of phone tag. I regret not contacting them sooner. Kate was their only child and I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to lose the one baby you were blessed with. My mind has just been all over the fucking place. I've spent the last month filing for all Charlie's benefits, which has been aggravating beyond belief. I had no idea when I started, that it would end up being such a nightmare. That stress, combined with my construction job, and the most difficult job of all, raising a baby, and I've had little time to think of anyone outside my own bubble.
As much as I loved my brother, I was never crazy close with his wife or her family. I liked Kate, I thought she was my brother's perfect match, but I had never been around long enough to really get to know her. She had always seemed to like me well enough. Hell, she must have liked me more than I originally thought since she left me her son.We became 'friends' through my brother, and sometimes she would play the 'big sister' role with me, which used to annoy the hell out of me. I only saw Cassandra and Devon once, at my brother's wedding. They seemed nice enough, but they never really talked to me. Then again, I had spent the majority of my brother's wedding at the open bar while my mother crowded him. I remember talking to Devon for a bit, but it must have been nothing of substance because I can't remember a single word I said to him.
This morning was the first time I have talked to Devon since the wedding. I was finally able to reach him during my break at work. He had gotten in touch for the reason I suspected, to see his grandson. I honestly wonder what he thinks about someone like me taking care of his only grandchild. His voice didn't really give his thoughts away, for it was extremely monotone. I couldn't tell if the tone was due to his old age, or the fact that he wasn't that excited to speak with me.
"My wife's birthday is coming up this weekend, and I know this is short notice, but she really wants to see her grandbaby."
I felt so shitty about having Charlie disappear from their lives for so long, so I agreed to drive down to Oregon over the weekend. I don't have to work and it will be great to escape this scenery and get a nice change for a little while. I don't mind being 'settled' now, but sometimes I do get a bit antsy. I went from everyday being spontaneous and having to constantly adapt, to waking up every morning knowing exactly what is on my agenda. A little road trip could be fun. It'll be my first adventure with my son. Although, I have to bring my girl along. I will definitely need some moral support on this trip. Thank fuck, she's an editor and can just bring her work along with her.
Devon seemed ecstatic when I gave him the okay. I honestly can't wait for him to see Charlie again. During our short interaction on the phone, it's obvious that the man loves him. I want Charlie to be surrounded by people who love him. He deserves to have a life filled with love and support. I never had that, and I want his childhood to be different than the one I endured.
I shoot Bella a quick text, trying to convince her to take the trip with me. I don't know why I feel the need to beg, maybe it's just my nervousness about this trip shining through, because Bella is more than happy to tag along. I hope that Kate's parents will be happy that Charlie has two new parents who love him. While Bella isn't his blood relation, she is a natural mother. Seeing the way, she is with my son only causes me to love her more.
As I make plans for the weekend, I pray to whomever is listening, that things will go smoothly. I want to assure Kate's parents that I've been a good fit for Charlie. For some reason, when I'm faced with new people I always feel like I have something to prove. I always have a list running in my head of different ways to defend my life choices. I wish I hadn't fucked up so badly in the past so I wouldn't have so much to explain and defend, but no matter how ashamed I am, I can't take anything back. I hope they see the man I am now and not the man I once was. If my luck is really good, they'll just focus on their cute, little grandson and not even pay me any mind.
Thank God for Bella, without her I really don't know what I would do. She is strong, so much stronger than I am, and I never feel weak when I use her shoulder to lean on. Perhaps I'll tell her my feelings soon...I just need to grow the balls to do so.
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"Is everything packed babe?" Bella asks, trying to take my mind off my nerves to focus on the matter at hand.
I don't know what my problem is, but I've been quiet all morning. I feel shitty about the way I'm acting, especially considering the favor Bella is doing me by coming along. I'm not sure if it's the idea of being judged by Kate's family that has me on edge, or the seven-hour drive to Bend, Oregon that is messing with me. All I want is a smoke. I grind my teeth, suppress the urge, and reach for my son. Just feeling his small body pressed against mine and hearing his steady breathing is enough to calm me down from just about anything.
"Yeah, everything is ready. Sorry I overslept," I finally answer her.
"It's fine." She waves me off. "You needed the sleep if you're going to be driving all day."
With how the day is going so far, we won't be in Bend until late and that means we won't see Cassandra and Devon until tomorrow, unless they insist on us having dinner with them. They're at least ten years older than my parents, so I don't know how late they stay up every night.
When we finally make it to my car, packed and ready to go, it's just past noon. I've had multiple cups of coffee, and I'm surprised my hands aren't jittery on the steering wheel. My girl looks fuck-hot in her running pants, sweatshirt, and pigtails, and I promise myself to take her on more vacations if she plans to dress like this. Bella has been an angel all morning. As I spent time pouring over the maps and looking for different routes, she entertained Charlie, gave him a bath, and got him all packed up and ready.
Charlie is babbling in the backseat, in what sounds like an attempt to sing along with the Radio Disney I'm playing. As much as I fucking hate pop music, particularly pop music that sounds like it was performed by kids, I can't exactly listen to metal with a baby in the back. Charlie heard my ringtone once when Bella called me, and cried for what felt like ten minutes afterward. Apparently, my little guy really hates Deftones.
I've been trying to expand his vocabulary all week. When Bella was away or out of earshot, I would try to get Charlie to say "ma ma." He's gotten so close on so many occasions, but he still stumbles around his words. He got extremely close to saying the title last night. Bella had fallen asleep on the couch and I sat at her side with Charlie in my lap as I quietly coached him.
"Come on buddy, try again. Try to say 'ma ma'."
I smile at him and make sure he is watching me as I pronounce 'ma ma.' His eyes are wide as he stares at me and he begins to move his mouth, as if he were trying to imitate what I was doing. He moves his mouth along with mine, and when I finally think he is going to say it, I stop talking and listen.
"Ma ah ah," he babbles before giving me a smile.
He's so close. I kiss his forehead and give him some praise, hoping that the parenting book I purchased will begin to pay off.
"Good, buddy! You're so close. Can you say 'ma ma'?"
I give him time to try, and as he begins to say it, Bella awakens at my side. She rubs the sleep from her eyes and gives me a lazy grin.
"Ma me ma!" Charlie screams, clapping his hands at his success.
Bella giggles at him, seeming to be unaware of what my boy is trying to say. "What are you two boys doing?"
I shrug my shoulders, feeling embarrassed. "Not much, just trying to learn some new words."
The memory of last night makes me smile as I start up the car and hear my GPS come to life. Charlie was so very close and I know that any day now, he'll be able to do it. I wonder how my girl will react. I hope it will make her happy, or at least not frighten her off. She's practically Charlie's mom already and if I'm lucky enough to have her as my wife one day, I would hope she would want to adopt Charlie. I know that she will never be Kate, but she loves him as if he was her biological son.
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I-90 is colorful this time of year. The warm reds, oranges, and mustard colored leaves fall from the trees and swirl around the cars as they go eighty miles per hour down the interstate. The sight takes my breath away, and soothes me as I carefully drive down the interstate in the slowest lane. I used to be one to drive fast and cut people off like an asshole, but with my little guy in the car, as well as my girl, I can't exactly take any chances.
As I pull onto I-82 the scenery transforms from beautiful trees to dead grass that lines the highway. This is going to be a fucking long stretch. Charlie isn't exactly enjoying himself in the back and I wish I had one of those cars with the DVD players on the back of the front seats. It would be nice to have a way to entertain him. When he starts to cry, I know I have to pull off. With the amount of times I've stopped for Bella to pee, I wonder if anything will be open by the time we make it to Bend.
At every Rest Stop, there is someone eyeing my girl. I don't get it. Can't they see us with Charlie and put two and two together? I stare every one of them down with a look that says, "She's fucking taken,"until they get the picture and look someplace else. I've never been possessive until I met Bella, but now every time a man looks in my girl's direction, I'm jealous. Thank God, my fighting days are in the past, because I would be tempted to lash out every time I see red, if that weren't the case.
Bella is quick to get Charlie out of his car seat. He's crying and his little face is all red and wet with tears. My heart breaks every time I see him like this.
"Da da! Da da!" He cries between sobs.
"I'll take him," I assure Bella. I see a group of guys talking around the bathroom and glancing in my girl's direction. I quickly catch up to her and say, "I'll be just outside, waiting for you," before shooting the men a glare.
I rock Charlie in my arms and kiss his wet cheeks. "It's okay buddy, daddy's got you."
Charlie's cries begin to slow down and his wails turn into hiccups. He looks at me as though he's surprised I'm still here, before reaching his arms out to hug my neck.
"Daddy loves you buddy," I whisper into his hair. "I love you," I say, practicing saying the phrase aloud. "I love you," I say again, now imagining I'm saying it to my girl.
Charlie relaxes in my arms, and I hold him close, absorbing this moment. My happy thoughts are interrupted by the very annoying sound of a man's voice.
"You're a very lucky man," the guy says, staggering toward me.
Jesus Christ, what is it with Rest Stops?
"Your lady there is so fine. I wish I could find me a piece of tail like that."
My jaw clenches and I have to stop myself from screaming at the guy. If I didn't have Charlie in my arms, this scenario would be playing out very differently. Instead of telling him to "fuck off," I give him a tight smile and ignore him.
Apparently, my response isn't good enough for the guy, and he continues, "Maybe I could borrow her sometime?"
This time, my smile is menacing and the man takes a step back. "Stay away from my family you sick fuck," I say through gritted teeth.
Bella comes out of the bathroom with a worried look on her face. The guy has the nerve to look at her, and because of that, I'm completely on the edge and about to lose my temper. I don't want Bella to see me like that. I haven't been that guy in so long. With my free hand, I grab her arm and walk her to the car without giving the men another look.
"What was that about?" she asks, as soon as we are a good distance from the group.
"It was nothing," I assure her, although I'm sure from the look on my face, it's obvious that it was anything but nothing.
I help my girl into the passenger seat before securing Charlie in his car seat. He's reluctant to leave my arms, and I don't blame him. We have another hundred miles or so ahead of us. When I agreed to go to Bend, I hadn't considered how a baby would do during a long car ride. I find some relaxing jazz music on the radio-which isn't usually my taste, but I need to cool off-and pull back onto the interstate.
My body relaxes as I drive and it seems the tension in the car has released as well. Charlie is taking a nap in his car seat, and Bella is reading some paranormal book in the passenger seat. She insisted on driving for a while, but I've been on enough road trips to be comfortable behind the wheel for hours on end. When we finally get onto US-97 S, I finally feel that I can breathe. I'm so fucking ready to eat some food that isn't prepackaged and from a gas station, and I'm also ready to pass out on a hotel bed.
It's around eight o'clock when we finally reach Bend. Charlie is awake and ready to get out of his car seat and Bella has finished her last bag of Bugles and is starving. We end up at the first restaurant I pass, which is a Pizza Mondo that is still busy for eight o'clock at night, although I suppose it is a Friday night. Bella practically jumps from the car as soon as I park.
"Why don't you run inside and get a table, baby?" I ask, trying not to laugh.
She gives me a cute smile before jogging to the front door of the restaurant. I watch her ass bounce with every step, before retrieving Charlie from his car seat. The restaurant is full and smells fucking incredible, my stomach groans in appreciation. Bella, as speedy as she is, already got a booth in the corner of the restaurant. The young hostess gives me a flirty smile before grabbing a highchair and walking me to the table. Bella is already looking over the menu, but that doesn't stop the hostess from explaining it to us, in detail as if we couldn't read, while staring at me the entire time. I have to try not to laugh, but I can't help the chuckle or two that escape my lips. As if snapping out of a trance, the hostess looks at me and then Bella, who is openly glaring at her, and blushes before quickly walking back to her hostess stand.
"Well, girls certainly do love you," Bella says, a bit miffed.
Now, I finally laugh aloud. "Bella, I go through the same thing on a daily basis. Men stare at you constantly. You wouldn't believe the amount of fights I almost got into this afternoon."
Bella blushes, a smile playing on her lips as she looks back down at the menu. We're so excited for warm food, we end up ordering three different pizzas; cheese, a white pie, and the clubhouse, because with crispy bacon and baked tomatoes it sounds like heaven on earth after the day I've had. The pizza is just as incredible as it sounded, and we eat until we are both full and on the verge of passing out. Charlie isn't as satisfied with his baby food, and stares at the cheese pizza as if it were the Holy Grail. His time will come soon enough, but until then, I know he will be fussy about his soft fruits and vegetables and canned foods.
After dinner, we drive around until we find a hotel within my price range. There are some amazing ones in the city, but I can't afford to stay at a place for hundreds of dollars a night. Finally, we come across a Holiday Inn Express and find a vacant room for just over a hundred dollars. As soon as we make it inside our room, I fall onto the mattress.
"Geez, babe," Bella says with a giggle. "If you were that tired, I could have driven for a bit."
"I'm fine." I wave her off.
Bella places Charlie on my stomach before walking off toward the bathroom to get ready for bed. Charlie is unfortunately wide awake. I've never let him nap like that during the day, so I can't imagine what this means for me getting a good night's rest. Charlie crawls up my body until he is right in front of my face and reaches to mess with my cheeks.
"Da da!" He squeals with a laugh. "Ma ma!"
My eyes widen in surprise. He finally fucking said it! He said 'ma ma!'I really hope Bella doesn't freak out about this. Considering we are meeting his real mother's parents tomorrow, I wonder if my decision to teach him the new word was a good one. If it wasn't, tomorrow might be uncomfortable. I say a silent prayer for smooth sailing. I want Charlie's time with his grandparents to be good, and I want to get through these next few days without feeling down on myself.
A/N: Midnightsun44 has done some amazing manips for this story! They are on my Facebook group (The Highlander Princess's Clan) if you want to check them out! They are exactly what I envisioned for Edward and Charlie.
Song- "Kids" by MGMT