I can never say thank you enough…but Sherry and Paige, thank you! I could not do this without you two!

"The other night dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms

But when I awoke dear, I was mistaken

So, I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away."

-Jimmie Davis-

EPOV:

"Beth, we can't just leave him behind. How's that going to look to him?"

I pause and put the bottle down so I won't be detected. I can't help but to eavesdrop on on their conversation, it's not like my mom ever wants to communicate with me about anything.

"Carlisle, we can't keep coddling him. How much trouble does he have to get into before you see that? I don't want to allow him to ruin our vacation. He has an attitude problem everywhere we go, and I'm not going to put up with it this time."

"You really want to leave him behind? You're so worried about him getting into trouble, but you want to leave him here with the whole house at his disposal? Which one is it, Beth?"

"Don't give me that look, Carlisle, you know what your son is like."

I roll my eyes at mom's tone. She always calls me 'dad's son,' whenever she's fucking pissed at me for something. When is she not fucking pissed about something though? It seems like it's all the fucking time now. She's never really been nice to me, but now she doesn't even try to hide her disapproval. I suppose I have been a shit lately and I did just get another suspension for fighting. I wish they would just fucking expel me already. It seems imminent at this point. It would save me time, having to go back to that hellhole school.

"I know he's been a bit much lately, but leaving him here isn't going to help a single thing. I think you know that, Beth."

"You're always defending him. We can't have a nice time without you bringing him up."

"How can I not bring him up? He's our son!"

"I just need a break, Carlisle. I think I deserve that," Mom says sweetly, changing her tactic.

So, they're leaving me behind. I can't say I'm fucking surprised, or sad about the fact. It will give me a nice break from them. Growing bored of their conversation, I saunter back toward the kitchen and pick up my Dad's bottle of Jack. I pour the contents in a black coffee mug and throw the bottle in the trashcan in the garage, hiding it under mountains of trash bags. Thank God, my parents don't hover. With Seth at practice and my parents arguing in Dad's study, I have the house practically all to myself.

I smile as the whisky burns its way down my throat. The taste of Jack has always been so fucking comforting. I jump onto the couch and flick on the TV. I can hear dad coming up the stairs, probably to apologetically tell me what's going on. Whatever. I don't care about going. I don't care about anything.

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I pull up to the coffee shop to find my dad's car is already here. I'm so fucking thankful he was available to meetup with me so soon. With work and a messy divorce, I know he's been a busy man. He sounded incredibly tired on the phone, but also happy to hear from me. I don't think he expected me to call him at all, let alone so soon. When he first told me about Esme, I was dead set on avoiding him, but now my feelings have transformed into something else.

Today, he appears to be more collected and at peace with the situation. It would be a stretch to say he looked happy, but he sure as hell didn't look so agitated. He smiles when he sees me, and stands to greet me. I'm surprised when he pulls me into a hug. He's acting as if he thought I was going somewhere. Maybe he did. He lost Seth, I know he would be destroyed if he lost me as well. Him knowing that I was alive and just didn't want to speak to him, would be indescribable.

"How's it going, dad?" I awkwardly ask, taking a seat across from him.

"Do you want anything? I can order you a coffee?" He sounds breathless, so excited that I'm here he goes into 'dad mode'.

I chuckle at him. "No, dad, I'm fine. I just wanted to talk to you. Apologize for how I behaved the last time we spoke."

"Don't apologize. I understand completely. Your reaction was better than the one I had expected. I knew my situation would be brought to light sooner or later...I just hadn't expected you to find out so soon. When I heard your voice on the phone that night, I knew something was wrong. I originally thought I was just being paranoid, because I had just started seeing her again, but that night when you met me for dinner, I knew that you had some idea about what was going on."

"How recent is this thing with her?"

"Very recent," he assures me. "I asked your mom for a divorce and moved into my own apartment, and about a week later Esme came back into town, wanting to settle down here."

"Do you think she came for you? Was that her reason for settling down in Washington?"

He stares at me, his blue eyes burning with conflict. Is he fucking lying to me? Why the hell is he looking at me like that? Something is wrong, I can just feel it. There's something he's not telling me. Last night I felt fucking sorry for my dad, and now it seems like he's holding out on me. I shake my head in disbelief and feel my anger starting to rise.

"Edward, all I wanted was to protect you," he begins, reaching out to take my hand.

I pull away from him. "Protect me from what?"

"I didn't want you to feel any different," he rambles on, unfazed by my sudden change in demeanor.

"Stop being so fucking vague and tell me, dad," I utter quietly, not wanting to draw attention to our conversation. Suddenly, meeting at a quiet coffeehouse on a weekday didn't seem like a good idea. I hadn't realized we would be airing our dirty laundry.

"She came back because she knew you were here."

What the fuck?

"That day you said you ran into her, I asked her about it and she had no idea who you were."

I feel my entire body shutdown as he utters the words. I feel fucking paralyzed in my seat. I should have known. I should have fucking known! She felt so familiar and I couldn't see why. Mom, Elizabeth, had been cold to me for all of those fucking years. Never, had she shown me an inkling of something resembling love. I had brushed it off, told myself it didn't matter, told myself she was defective and couldn't love me right...but all of this fucking time...I just can't believe it. I can't believe my dad would do this to me. I'm shaking, I can hear the chair rattling beneath me, as every muscle in my body tenses. I want to punch something, someone, I just want to release all the fucking pain I feel.

"Edward? Son?"

A tear rolls down my cheek before I can stop it. My entire life has been a fucking lie. "That woman is my mother?"

With a clenched jaw and watery, bloodshot eyes, dad nods. Before I can stop myself, my fist slams on the table, knocking off my dad's cup of coffee and shattering it on the floor. All I see is fucking red, I don't listen to my dad, I don't listen to anyone. I storm out of the restaurant with hot, angry tears rolling down my face. Fucking pussy! I need to feel better, I need something. I turn toward the brick wall of the coffee house and slam my fist into it repeatedly…until blood stains the bricks. The pain feels fucking incredible, it distracts me from the pain that's burning inside.

How could she leave me? If that woman is my mom, how the fuck could she leave me behind? Why wasn't I good enough for her? I fall to my knees and catch my breath. I'm sure I look fucking crazy, but I'm too pissed to give a shit. I hear the chimes of the coffee house door from my spot on the sidewalk.

"Son, let me talk to you. Please let me explain. I did it to protect you, it was the only way."

A dark laugh escapes my lips. "You protected me by lying to me? Here, I thought I was pissed about you having an affair. I could forgive that though, because I fucking loved you. But now? Now you tell me that the woman I thought was my mom, isn't my fucking mom? That instead, it's a woman I met one fucking time!"

I want to ask why he would do this to me, but why waste my fucking breath? I want to attack him, and I want him to hold me like he did when I was a kid. The second thought sets me off. I don't need his comfort, I don't need anyone. I stand up and walk off, leaving my car and him behind. I walk and walk, too angry to see where I'm going. I let my body led the way. I end up at a dive bar and throw open the door, letting the light shine in on the dark bar with no occupants. There's a bartender that comes from the back as soon as he sees me taking a seat. He tries to make small-talk, probably wondering why I look like fucking shit. I cut him off, ordering a whiskey, straight up before slouching over the bar top.

As soon as I get it, I down it. The burn is a welcome one and I feel like I've been greeted by an old friend. That good feeling doesn't last long, and it is quickly replaced by the burn of regret. Angry tears fill my eyes and my entire body clenches in anger and frustration. The bartender asks me for something, but I quickly tell him to 'fuck off,' causing him to return to the back, muttering curses under his breath. I slap my face once, and then a second time even harder. What the fuck have I done?

I just let everyone down. I let Charlie down. I fucking promised him I would never do this again. I told him I would be a good daddy and look at me now. I don't stop the tears as they trail down my face. I reach for my phone, wanting to hear the voice of the one person I know will make me feel better. She answers on the second ring.

"Edward?"

Her voice causes my entire body to relax. She's the cure to any ailment I could possibly have. I close my eyes and allow myself to calm down to the sound of her breathing.

"Edward, what's wrong? Baby, you're scaring me!"

My heart drops. She would be so disappointed if she knew where I was. I've never felt so fucking ashamed of myself in my entire life. I was doing so well and now I fucked it all up. Just like I fuck everything up.

"Edward, where are you? I'll come there."

"Bella," I finally gasp, sounding just as cowardly as I feel. "I messed up."

"Edward?" Her voice raises an octave. "Baby, just tell me where you are and I'll come get you. We can talk about this when you're home."

"I messed up really bad," I tell her with a shaky voice.

"I understand, babe. You need to tell me where you are."

I hear Charlie's cries in the background and I wish I were there. I just want to hold him. I just want to go home.

"I'm at a bar," I tell her, feeling fucking repulsed.

"Okay, Edward. We're coming," she says without judgment in her voice. "Just tell me which one."

I saunter outside and look at the sign. Bella quickly says she is on her way.

"I love you, Edward. We'll be there soon."

She still loves me. Oh, thank God.

"I love you, Bella. So much," I tell her before hanging up.

I return to the bar and throw some money down for my drink, leaving a large tip for cursing the man out. Slowly, I make my way back outside and take a seat on the sidewalk, putting my head in my hands. It was so easy to pick up that drink again, and that thought is fucking frightening. What will happen if I lose control again? One bad choice could ruin my life. I can't allow myself to do anything that would jeopardize my relationship with Bella or Charlie. I would be so incredibly lost without them.

As I sit in the sun, I think of Esme, my mother. I wonder if deep down I knew there was something distinctive about her when I first saw her. I thought she looked familiar, but perhaps that was because I've looked at my face millions of times in the mirror. Our features are similar, so similar that I can't believe I didn't recognize it before. Then again, I hadn't thought there was a possibility of my dad lying to me my entire life. He said he did it to protect me, but protect me from what? What was so bad that he needed to lie to me for so many years?

Bella pulls up to the bar and I can't even look at her. I feel too ashamed. I can never allow this to happen again. Bella gets out of the car and I can feel her walking toward me. I keep my eyes on the sidewalk, not wanting to see the ashamed look that must be on her beautiful face. I wanted to make her fucking proud of me, I don't want to look curled up and pathetic in front of her, like I know I do now.

"Babe, do you want to get going? Why don't you sit in the backseat with Charlie? He's missed you so much today."

She offers me her hand and I take it. With my eyes cast down, I walk to the car and slide in the backseat. Charlie squeals when he sees me and kicks his legs in excitement. A small smile twitched on my lips, and I reach out to give him my finger to hold on to.

"Da da!"

Charlie is my light when I feel like I'm surrounded by nothing but darkness.

A/N: I'm seriously curious to hear your guys thoughts! So please review! Thanks for reading!

Song- "You Are My Sunshine" by Jimmie Davis. I am pretty sure Jimmie Davis wrote this song in the late 1930s/early 1940s…. but I like the Johnny Cash cover WAY better. Cash sings with such emotion and puts a totally different spin on the song. I might be biased because I love Johnny Cash, but you can check out both versions yourself. The Cash version has the emotion that I thought was fitting for this chapter.