Thank you, Sherry and Paige! I couldn't do this without you two!
"For the love, I'd fallen on
In the swampy August dawn
What a mischief you would bring young darling!
When the onus is not all your own
When you're up for it before you've grown
From the faun forever gone
In the towers of your honeycomb
I'd a tore your hair out just to climb darling
When you're filling out your only form
Can you tell that it's just ceremon'
Now you've added up to what you're from."
-Bon Iver-
EPOV:
His stern expression fades away, and he gives me another once-over before a small smile tugs on his lips. He looks at me and then his gaze fell on my little Charlie, who seems eager to meet him. Maybe Bella's dad isn't so bad after all, or maybe the small smile he's giving me is stirring up too much hope on my part. I've never had someone like me right off the bat, so I doubt I can expect that from my girl's dad. I mean, I asked his daughter to marry me without his consent for fuck's sake.
"Hello, Edward," her dad finally says, with a hesitant, but seemingly nice smile. "It's great to finally meet you."
"It's great to meet you too," I say, closing the distance between us to shake his hand. I give him a smile, look him straight in the eyes, and give his hand a firm shake before pulling away. I don't want him to think I'm going to be a giant pussy about meeting him today.
"This is my son, Charlie," I tell him.
Little Charlie reaches out and grabs Bella's dad's finger, giving it a little shake of his own before trying to stuff it into this mouth. He laughs at this and pulls his finger away before tousling my son's hair.
"Nice name," her dad jokes.
What the fuck should I call him, 'Big Charlie' or something like that? Maybe their shared name will warm him up and it'll be smooth sailing all day long.
"Do you want to hold him?" I suggest, happy to have his attention on my adorable son instead of on me.
Even if he does like me, I know he'll still ask me a barrage of questions and all that shit. Isn't that the natural thing to do when your daughter brings home the man in her life for the first time? Fuck, even my family members would ask me a string of intrusive questions every time they saw me when I was growing up. I guess that's what happens when you don't know what the fuck else to talk about. However, that doesn't mean every single one of those types of questions isn't extremely uncomfortable. It just feels like you're being judged with every answer you give. I always hated that shit growing up and I hate it just as much today.
Bella's dad is more than happy to hold my son and his whole demeanor seems to change as soon as he has Charlie in his arms. He looks like such a tough guy—he is the chief of police in his town after all—but when he's holding a baby that tough guy exterior fades away. I look at my girl and she seems to be thinking the same thing. Her dad is a softie! When it comes to babies at least. It looks as if I'm finally catching a break. It's fucking fantastic because I'd really like one thing in my life to not be such a struggle.
"He's a cute kid," Charlie comments, giving his daughter a smile before returning his attention to my son.
"He's turning one next month," I tell him with a proud smile. "Bella and I are planning a party for him."
Charlie doesn't answer, he's too busy playing with my little Charlie. I look over to Bella, who nods her head toward the kitchen, because her dad seems pleasantly distracted, so I follow her. Before I can ask her what's up, she closes the distance between us and crashes her lips against mine. Her body is crushed against mine and her hands are everywhere. Apparently, me getting along with her dad is a real turn on. I return her kiss with just as much enthusiasm before I have to pull away to catch my breath.
"What was that for?" I ask with a laugh.
"I'm just happy to see you two getting along," she explains.
"Did you have your doubts?"
She shrugs her shoulders, before giving me a thoughtful look and shaking her head. "No, I suppose I didn't. I thought he would like you."
I can't tell how honest she's being, but I'm happy that she's happy. I'm thrilled that she believes he likes me. It's not like we really interacted, so I guess I haven't given him a reason to hate me so far. However, I know my looks can be a bit off-putting for some people. Not every dad wants to see their little girl with someone like me. It seems that Charlie is able to look past this. Hopefully, he'll be just as cool when it comes to looking past everything else. My past is fucking rough and he's a cop. I know he's not going to like the fact that I was into drugs and alcohol, even though I'm currently in therapy and going to AA meetings every now and then. I hope he can see the progress I've made in my life. Of course, I'm not going to bring that shit up today. Honestly, I wouldn't mind him never finding out, but I know that I really need to be honest with everyone in my life. Today, I'm just going to focus on getting to know him and having a good time with my family. Hopefully this will be the start of something good.
"Can you hang out with my dad while I finish getting ready?"
I look at the towel wrapped around her head and pray that it won't take her too long. I know I fared well when we were all together, but I wonder how her dad will act once she's no longer in the room. Although, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Hide in the bathroom with her like a coward? It'll be fine, Cullen. Stop fucking stressing.
"Yeah, that's fine. I got this under control," I assure her.
She gives me one last kiss before bolting in the direction of her bathroom. I return to the living room—which has been turned into an improvised dining room—and find Charlie sitting at the table with baby Charlie comfortably in his arms. I hear my son giggling, and I know everything's alright. I'm happy, if not surprised, that my son's taken to his future granddad so quickly. Babies are good about sensing good people, at least I've heard they are, so maybe this is a very good sign.
"I hope he wasn't too fussy while I was gone," I say, conversationally.
Charlie looks up at me for a moment, before lowering his gaze back on the baby. "He's great. Bella talks about him all of the time."
"So, you two talk on the phone a lot then?" I ask, taking a seat across from him.
"A fair amount. I'm busy, so I call my daughter when I can. She hadn't told me about her engagement though. I didn't find out until I arrived this morning."
Fuck. I hope he isn't upset about this. I know how much dad's like to be a part of this type of stuff. It's traditional for the guy to ask for the girl's hand in marriage, but it wasn't like that was a possibility for me at the time. Fuck, it had been so random anyway and everything happened so fast. I'd been so nervous about asking her in general, I hadn't even thought about talking to her dad first. I mean, I didn't even know her dad, so it would've been weird for me to randomly ask for his number and call him. 'Sir, you've never heard about me and we've never met, but I'm in love with your daughter. We've been together for a while and I've never really asked about meeting you. However, now, I kind of need you. I'm going to ask her to marry me. You don't know me and you don't know about my past, and I'm also a single dad, but I think I'm good for her.' I would have been a rambling fucking mess if I called him. I feel sick just fucking thinking about it.
"Sorry about that, Sir." I feel like I need to be formal all of a sudden. I mean, it couldn't hurt. "It was a spur of the moment thing. I just love your daughter so much."
"I see that," he says, giving me another once-over.
"We haven't dated long," I go on to explain, "but I fell in love with her right away. I just want you to know how much I respect your daughter. I'll cherish her for the rest of our lives."
Maybe I'm overdoing it, but fuck, I really want him to like me. I want him to approve of our engagement as well. What should I do now? Should I ask for her hand? I don't know, it all feels so fucking cheesy to me. I'm not used to expressing my emotions to strangers. I barely talk about my emotions period. Howell had to pry my thoughts and feelings out of me. It took several sessions for me to feel comfortable enough to speak about anything sensitive.
"Well, that's comforting to hear," he gruffly states.
His tone makes me smile a little. It seems as though he doesn't like discussing his emotions either. We have more in common than I'd imagined. Even though he doesn't comment, his face has a small smile on it as well.
"I know it's late, but I would still like to formally ask for your daughter's hand." It sounds fucking awkward when I say it. Nonetheless, I'm happy I managed to get the question out.
He looks at me for a moment, really taking me in, before he finally says, "Edward, I don't know you, but I trust my daughter. If she loves you and she said yes, then I'll go along with her. You can have her hand." He pauses for a moment, smirks at me and adds, "With that being said, if you ever hurt her, don't think for one minute that I'll hesitate…I know where you live, Edward."
I gulp, because how the fuck can I not, and give him a shaky smile. Okay, then. That went better than I'd thought. "Thanks, Sir. I won't let you down."
"Let's hope not."
There's a knock at the door and Charlie begins to cry at the sound.
"Da da!" He wails, reaching for me.
I reach across the table and take him into my arms, patting his back to comfort him. His cries soon turn into hiccups, as I walk toward the front door. There's another loud knock, before I finally pull the door open and find Bella's sister and her family standing there. Fuck, did Bella tell everyone to get here super early? I thought she still had to bake.
"Hey, Edward!" Alice says, before bouncing up to kiss my cheek. "Hey Charlie," she says to the grinning, yet temperamental, baby in my arms. "Happy Thanksgiving!"
Alice ventures into the apartment before I can so much as step aside, and Jasper gives me an apologetic smile. He looks fucking exhausted, and is holding his young daughter in one arm and a container filled with food in the other.
"I'm going to have to make a few trips," he tells me as I help him inside. "There's a lot of food left in the car."
I help him start setting up the food on the dining room table, when Bella finally comes out, looking absolutely gorgeous with her curly brown hair pulled up in a ponytail. She looks incredible, but I'm fucking confused. That style is usually what she goes for when she doesn't have much time and she was just in the bathroom doing her hair for half an hour. When I look at her, and she blushes and looks away, I know what's up. My girl was eavesdropping. For some reason, this makes me smile. I can just imagine her standing on the other side of the wall, listening in as I profess my love for her to her father. I'm not going to embarrass her, so I don't bring it up. Instead, I just smile at her and wink, before offering to help Jasper.
"Cyndy, do you want to play with Bella and the baby while daddy and Uncle Edward go get the food?" Jasper asks his daughter.
Cyndy's face lights up as she looks at baby Charlie, who is staring back at her with wide eyes and a small smile.
"Yeah, daddy. Me play with baby!"
I hand Charlie off to Bella and Jasper sets his daughter down on the floor.
"You can play with him while I finish up baking your favorite pie," Bella tells the girl as they walk toward Bella's old bedroom.
Always feeling nervous about leaving the baby alone, I look toward Bella's dad and ask, "Can you keep an eye on them?"
Charlie gives me a small, but warm smile and nods. I follow Jasper to his car. It turns out that Alice made enough food to feed a small army. I can't complain though because it all looks fucking delicious. It's definitely a 180 from the Thanksgiving dinners I'm used to. Elizabeth fucking hated cooking. So, when Thanksgiving rolled around, she never made anything. Instead she would order food from a restaurant and have it delivered. I never complained, but it always felt so impersonal. Those days make me think of my brother, because he was mom's favorite growing up—which I now can understand why—the meals always centered around him. He would carry on the conversation and Elizabeth would sit back with a huge smile on her face and listen to his every word. Dad never minded this, and neither did I because it meant I didn't have to contribute anything to the conversation. Elizabeth would want to hear about all of Seth's ventures and would have him tell the same stories over and over again. She loved hearing about how popular and successful he was. Seth was the star athlete and an amazing student. I liked hearing his stories as well, but I always felt embarrassed for him because I knew he hated having to tell them so many times. He would always humor our mom though, he loved her a lot and she always supported him in everything he did. Fuck, I miss him so much. This won't be my first Thanksgiving without him, but the years I'd been away were different. Even though we were apart, he was still living. Now, I'll never see him again and I fucking wish I could've changed the last few years I had with him.
I took so much shit for granted. I should've come home for the holidays, I should've wanted to be around my family instead of doped up at some friend's house. There are so many things I wish I could've done differently. I'd give anything to be able to turn back time and change it. I honestly didn't know how fucking difficult the holidays would be without him. The littlest thing reminds me of him and it fucking guts me. This will be my dad's first Thanksgiving without Seth, too. Jesus Christ, he's going to be in so much pain. Fuck!
Jasper must sense my unease because he puts a hand on my shoulder and asks, "You okay, man? You got really quiet all of a sudden."
I shake my head, unable to speak. I just want my brother. Will this fucking pain ever go away? Just when I think I've gotten better and that I've begun to accept it, something will happen that reminds me of him and I fucking regress to my depression and anger. I want to talk to Howell, but I know he's spending the holiday with his family. I'll just bottle it up and try to have a good time. Today is an important day for me, it's the first holiday we are all spending together as one big family. I hope that's enough to keep me going.
"I'm fine," I finally manage. "I was just thinking about my brother," I tell him, knowing that I should be honest.
Jasper frowns and his eyes fill with sympathy. "I'm so sorry, man. I know the holidays must be the hardest times. I'm here for you if you need to talk."
I smile at him, because his words are more comforting than he probably knows. "Thanks, man. Let's get this shit inside."
I need to distract myself. If I'm in a room filled with people, maybe I won't dwell on my brother. However, part of me fucking doubts this. Thankfully, I'm surrounded by people who care about me. I have Bella, Charlie, my dad and now my amazing mom. I've lost a lot, but I've gained a lot too. That's life I guess.
It takes us two trips to carry all the food inside. There's turkey, ham, and more side dishes than I've ever seen. There's also a few trays of cookies, as if Bella's pies weren't enough. How the fuck does she expect us to eat all this? Jasper just laughed and explained that his wife is usually pretty enthusiastic about the holidays, and is just happy that this year she has more mouths to feed. By the time we're finished setting everything up, Bella is done with her pie and places it on the cooling rack with the others. As soon as we're done, I go to get Charlie, because during times like these, I can't be away from my son for long. Minutes feel like hours when he's gone. He's still 'playing' with Cyndy when I find him. She's showing him all her toys, but he's too busy gnawing on the ear of one of her Pooh dolls.
"Ew," Cyndy cries as soon as she notices my son is slobbering all over her toy. "He get it wet!"
"Hey, buddy. Let's not do that. That toy isn't yours." I carefully take the toy away from him, and Charlie instantly starts crying.
"Da da!" He cries, as he tries to grab the stuffed bear.
"Here you go, Cyndy. Charlie's sorry," I apologize.
She frowns at my son and looks at her toy. "No cry Carlie," she says, mispronouncing his name. "He have toy," she tells me, giving me the bear back.
I'm surprised by this. It's such a mature thing for the little girl to do. I don't know much about kids, but I know I sure as hell didn't do this when I was her age.
"Thank you, Cyndy. That's so nice of you," I tell her with a smile. I'm going to have to get her a new toy now. What a great kid.
"No worry," she shrugs. "He be happy now."
"Look, Charlie! Cyndy is giving you her toy," I say, as I wipe away his tears and hand him the bear.
It takes him a second to realize what I'm saying and he continues to cry as he holds onto his new bear. Cyndy frowns again, before crawling over to him and placing a small kiss on his forehead.
"No cry, Charlie," she tells him.
Charlie's cries slow down and eventually stop completely. He hiccups, smiles at her, and then puts Pooh's ear back in his mouth.
"He loves you a lot, Cyndy," I tell her, as I pull Charlie onto my lap.
"I love Carlie," she smiles before returning to her toys.
My parents arrive promptly at one o'clock. I didn't get the memo about inviting everyone over crazy earlier, and as soon as they knocked on the door, I was fucking relieved. My mom looked more than happy to be here, and came into Bella's apartment with a glowing smile and a pumpkin pie in hand. My dad on the other hand, looks absolutely exhausted, and although he's smiling, his eyes are sad. This day is affecting him just like it is me. It's a twisted and cruel reminder of what we've lost. At least we've got each other and Charlie, of course. He's the only part of Seth we have left.
"Thanks for coming, mom-dad," I say before giving them both a hug.
I hear mom gasp as I say 'mom'. Tears fill her eyes and she gives me a watery smile. She looks so fucking happy hearing the simple title. I guess she's been wanting to hear it for so long. Every time I say it, she seems to always take a moment to allow the words to sink in.
"Thanks for inviting us, Edward," Mom says with a bright smile.
She gives my dad, who is quieter than I've ever seen him, a sad, sympathetic smile and squeezes his hand. I'm glad he's here, I'm glad he's strong enough to come. This Thanksgiving is a stark contrast from his last. His son has died along with his daughter-in-law, he's divorced from Elizabeth and I've returned home. Nothing about today resembles what his life once was. Change is hard enough, but once you throw everything else into the mix, today would be traumatic and fucking devastating for anyone to face.
I wrap my arm around my dad's shoulder and usher them inside. Everyone's already seated at the dining room table ready to eat. There are two seats open for my parents to sit next to me. I wanted to make sure I was close to my mom since it's my first Thanksgiving with her since I was an infant. I quickly introduce my parents to everyone and they're more than welcoming. Bella's dad stands up to shake my dad's hand and says a few words before sitting back down and waiting to eat. Although Bella's dad is quiet and gruff, I can't help but fucking like the guy so far. Alice insists on a quick prayer, before we all dig in. Charlie's sitting on my lap, playing with his new Pooh toy I couldn't get him to let go of, and throughout dinner I try my best to feed him whatever food I know he can manage to chew on. Everyone besides Alice is pretty quiet during dinner. They're too focused on shoveling food into their mouths to really have a conversation. I talk to my mom for a bit, who's so happy to be here I can barely believe it. I try to engage my dad as well, but while he smiles and says what's appropriate, I can tell he wants to keep to himself.
As dinner comes to a close and we get ready for dessert, Alice speaks up and explains her family tradition. "Every year we like to go around the table and say something we're thankful for. It's something we've done since our mom passed away," she explains, giving my girl a sad smile.
I reach for Bella's hand and hold it firmly in mine. With her on one side, my parents on the other, and my son in my lap, never have I felt more surrounded by love. I have so much to be thankful for. Everyone at this table has lost someone incredibly important to them, in one way or another, and it's astounding that we can still fight through the heartache and find something to be thankful for. Even with all the shit in the world, we can still find something beautiful.
"I'll start," Alice says with a humble smile. "I have so much in my life to be thankful for. Every day I find something new. However, one thing I'm especially thankful for is the man who has made my sister so happy." My eyes widen as I take this in. I knew Alice liked me, but I didn't know she felt this strongly. "My sister has been alone for so long. Thank you, Edward, for making her so happy."
I nod my head, too shocked to know what to say. I'm not used to this type of attention, and Bella knows this, so she grasps my hand to give me support. Alice looks to her husband, telling him that it's his turn.
Jasper smiles, takes a deep breath and says, "I'm thankful for a lot of things right now as well, but today, I want to say that I'm incredibly thankful for my wife and the fact that she's giving me another child."
Bella gasps and reaches across the dining room table to grab her sister's hand. "Alice! You're pregnant? Why didn't you say anything?"
Alice smiles and wipes a tear from her eye. "We just found out last week," she says with a smile. "We wanted to tell you all at once."
Bella's dad is speechless, but looks incredibly happy as well. As taciturn as the man is, I know he's a big softy for kids. It's kind of fucking hilarious to see this Burt Reynolds type man fawn over a baby.
"Congrats, Alice," I say with a huge grin.
"You're going to have another grandbaby," Alice says to her dad.
"I can't believe it," Charlie chuckles. "Congratulations, sweetheart."
As soon as the table has calmed down, the attention shifts to Cyndy as she tries to think of something she's thankful for.
Finally, she says, "Thank for Carlie," she says, smiling at Charlie in my lap.
"Aw, baby. Charlie is a good friend, isn't he?" Alice asks her daughter.
"Yeah, mommy." She smiles.
It's Charlie's turn, and he's quiet at first. Finally, he says, "I'm thankful my wife gave me two beautiful daughters before she died. I can never thank her enough for that."
Alice and Bella both reach for their father's hands. I rub Bella's back as she comforts her father. I hate seeing her in pain, I just want to carry the burden for her, because all I want is for her to be happy. After a few moments of silence, we move on to my father. I cringe at the thought of him having to say anything. I can tell this is so fucking hard for him. I can feel his pain from a mile away.
"You don't have to say anything, dad," I quietly mutter.
His eyes are pained as he looks at me, and he gives me a small, tense smile before saying, "It's fine, Edward. I'm thankful for my son. He's become a wonderful father and I'm so proud of him." His voice is raw and so fucking sad. Yet, it's filled with so much love as well. Even I can hear that.
"I love you, dad," I tell him.
He smiles at me and while it seems he can't find the strength to say it back, I know in my heart he loves me just as much as I love him.
The attention turns toward Esme, and she smiles at me, reaching for my hand and says, "I'm thankful for my son as well. We found each other recently and I'm so thankful for that. He's such a wonderful person and he surprises me at every turn."
My cheeks heat up with embarrassment. While I'm so fucking happy to hear this, I'm not used to hearing people sing my praise. I've never experienced it while I was growing up, it's so fucking odd to hear right now. Of course, my dad would compliment me every now and then, but the attention was always on my brother and I took a backseat. I was never jealous, because I loved my brother and I honestly didn't envy the attention, but I would've liked some recognition every now and then. Having so many people praise me now causes me to feel like I'm in the fucking Twilight Zone. Now that it's my turn, I'm happy to talk about something else.
"I'm thankful for my son and my beautiful fiancée. I never imagined a girl like her would ever marry a guy like me," I say with a smile that makes my cheeks ache.
Alice gasps and reaches out for her sisters left hand. "How did I not notice that!? I can't believe I was so distracted today I missed your engagement ring. Bella! It's so beautiful. It's perfect for you," Alice says as she gushes over the humble ring on Bella's ring finger.
Bella chuckles and says, "I'm surprised you didn't notice as well. Edward and I wanted to make a formal announcement sometime during dinner, but this way works as well." She grins and throws me a wink.
"Congrats, guys," Jasper tells us with a huge smile.
As Bella talks to her sister, my mom turns to me and says, "I'm so proud of you, Edward."
I smile and nod, not knowing what to say. I'm just not fucking used to all this positive attention. If I got attention in the past it was usually because I fucked something up or got into trouble. As the chatter dies down, it's finally Bella's turn, and I'm curious to see what she'll say.
"Does Charlie have anything to say?" She asks as she reaches down to quickly tickle his stomach. "Charlie, are you thankful for anything?"
Charlie squeals with laughter before screaming, "Ma ma!" He laughs some more and lets go of his new toy for a minute to grab my finger. "Da da!"
He's thankful for us. I'm sure he doesn't understand what he's saying, but it's nice to hear nonetheless. The whole table laughs and awes at his response, before they quiet down so Bella can speak.
"I've got so much to be thankful for. This last year has brought so many changes to my life. I thought I was really happy before, but I didn't really understand happiness until Edward and Charlie came into my life." She looks at me, her eyes filled with happy tears, and says, "I'm so thankful that I have my own family now. I'm so thankful I have a man in my life who loves me more than anything, and a son that I adore. I'll never forget how lucky I am."
Ignoring the room full of people, I crash my lips against hers as soon as she's finished speaking. When she's around, the whole world seems to fade away. I love her so much, it's fucking scary at times. I pour all my love into our kiss. I pull away to stare into her eyes, still completely captivated by her.
I have so much to be thankful for, but above all, I'm thankful I've been given a second chance. Bella and Charlie have been a fucking blessing. My life has completely transformed and I'm thankful that I've had the strength to not fall back into my bad habits. I'm thankful that before he died, Seth believed in me enough to give me his son, therefore giving me this second life. I have so much to be thankful for, I'll do everything in my power to never fuck it up.
A/N: So, what do you guys think? Big Charlie isn't as bad as a lot of you thought ?. Please review! I love reading your thoughts after every chapter!
Also, I have an entry in the Biggest Dick Ever contest, so if you haven't done so yet, please check it out! Voting ends tomorrow night. It's my first contest, so I definitely know I won't win…but, I would love your support nonetheless.
Song- "Towers" by Bon Iver…one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite bands. Also, it's one of the first songs I learned to play on guitar!