Thank you Sherry and Paige!

"I am good, I am ground

Davy says that I look taller

But I can't get my head around it

I keep feeling smaller and smaller

I need my girl

I need my girl.

Remember when you lost your shit and

Drive the car into the garden

You got out and said I'm sorry

To the vines and no one saw it.

I need my girl."

-The National-

EPOV:

I'm not used to things running so fucking smoothly. The past few days have been strangely perfect. So much so, it makes me fucking paranoid. Whenever something goes right, I just sit around and wait for something else to go exceptionally wrong. Meeting Bella's dad went perfectly. He accepted me right off the bat and explained that he trusted the decisions his daughter made. I was fucking thrilled! I was so worried he wouldn't like me, that I didn't know how to react when he did. He's actually a lot cooler than I'd originally imagined. I was fucking shocked to see he had a tattoo of his own. A beautiful, black and grey tribute to his late wife on his back. It's smaller than my tribute to my brother, but it's just as beautiful. It's a large hyper realistic rose with his wife's name, Renee, in a cursive print.

We didn't become fucking chummy, or anything like that, but there is a mutual respect there…or at least I hope there is. It turns out, Bella's Dad and I have a good deal in common. Not something one would expect from a police chief and a former druggie, but somehow, we do. Hopefully one day we'll be able to become close. I could tell that Bella was upset when her dad left to return to work. I promised her we could fly out to Virginia to visit him, no matter how tough the trip would be with a baby.

Now that the holiday is over, I can finally fucking relax. As well as it went, I'm relieved it's over. I didn't realize how on edge I'd been until things returned to normal. I'd been alone for so long, I'd forgotten how hectic the holidays were. When it was just me traveling through Cali with my friends, we barely knew what day it was. I only had my days straight when I was actually working, but it was so easy for me to bounce from job to job due to my vices. Eventually, I ended up pawning shit and day laboring to get some cash. The holidays weren't something any of us gave a shit about. Of course, I really didn't have anything to care about back then. Now I've got so much to care about and I never knew my heart could feel this fucking full.

It's been a few days since the chaos and we've all gone back to our normal lives. I know that Bella is going to be glued to her sister now that she's expecting. I'm happy that Charlie will have another friend to play with. I suppose her being with her sister will give me time to work on the other relationships in my life. I can hang out with Paul, Emmett, and the other guys from work. As much as I love Charlie, it's nice to have another adult to be around. Luckily, the guys don't mind having my son around and understand that I can't afford a babysitter when all my other options are busy. Paul is the only one who acts weird around Charlie. It must be because Charlie is looking more and more like Seth every day. To Paul, Charlie would be a constant reminder of the friend he lost. I know that it's fucking hard, because it was hard for me at first, but I really hope Paul will manage to get over it and love Charlie just as much as I do. Just as much as Seth would've wanted.

Today, Bella will be shopping with Alice, and Charlie and I will be hanging out with Paul. I thought it was kind of earlier to be baby shopping—Alice isn't even two months pregnant yet—but Bella told me that no time is 'too early' for her sister when it comes to shopping. Maybe I just don't fucking get it. Nonetheless, I'm happy to have a chance to hang with one of my friends today. It's something I rarely do since I want to spend all my free time with Bella. There's just nothing like coming home to my beautiful girl after a long, hard day of work. It usually takes her making plans without me, for me to drag my sorry ass out. I don't know, I guess I've always been a loner and I never really grew out of it.

"I'll see you tonight, babe," Bella says as she grabs her keys and kisses me quickly on the lips.

"Tonight? Will you be back for dinner?" I'm going to fucking miss her, as pathetic as that sounds.

"I'm not sure," she says with an apologetic smile. "Alice usually spends forever at the mall and then insists that we go out afterward to discuss our purchases."

The way Bella says this makes me laugh. She couldn't sound less enthusiastic if she tried. I know Bella hates crowds just as much as she hates being dragged around to try on clothes. I don't blame her, I don't try anything on when I shop for clothes. It seems like such a fucking waste of time. I just cross my fingers and hope it fits. I do the same when I buy Charlie's clothes. Luckily, he has a lot of growing to do. Otherwise there would be a ton of shit I own that he'd never be able to wear. It looked promising when I bought it. I just always forget how small he still is.

"Well, have fun, babe. You know I'll be texting you."

I can't help it. Even when I'm having a good time with the guys I still want to text her. She always sends the funniest shit and loving messages. It makes me want to check my phone every second when I'm away. I know that on a day like today, she'll be texting me whenever she can. It'll be for the sake of her sanity. As much as I love her sister, I've seen her at the mall and she's as jumpy as a crackhead. And I say that in the nicest fucking way.

"I love your texts," she says with a smile. "Have fun with Paul today. Hopefully you guys can get out of this apartment."

"Yeah, I was thinking we could go to the park or something. I want to give Charlie some time outside before it gets too fucking cold."

Bella's phone begins to ring and she rolls her eyes and throws me a smile. "Alice is impatient. I've got to go, babe. I'll see you tonight."

She gives me a long kiss goodbye, before crouching down to where Charlie is playing on the floor to give his cheek a quick kiss.

"You be good for your daddy."

Charlie laughs at his mom before he goes back to playing with his stuffed animals. I grab Bella for one last kiss before I'm sated and let her go. I'm always sad to see her leave, even if it's only for a few hours. I used to hate those couples that seemed attached at the hip, but now I can understand them. Our relationship is still so new, so perhaps that's the reason. Although, somehow, I know we'll be like this after twenty years of marriage. I couldn't imagine a day where I wouldn't fucking burn for her.

"You ready to see uncle Paul, buddy?"

Charlie giggles and flips onto his back, reaching out to me before trying to stuff his foot into his mouth. I'll take that as a yes. I reach down to grab him, intending to get him ready to go, but he's so fucking playful and happy today. I end up spending a half hour on the floor with him and his toys. Every time we play together, he spends the majority of the time trying to climb all over me. That inspired me to play that 'airplane' game my dad used to do with me when I was little. Charlie fucking loves that shit. He'll scream and laugh until he is a hiccuping mess and if it were up to him, we'd never stop playing. It's times like these, I really don't want to go anywhere. I just want to stay inside and cherish the time I have with my son while he's still a baby. He'll be one soon and I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I don't know what I'll do when he's walking, talking, and challenging me. All I know is, I want to enjoy this time while I still have it. I know all too well how valuable a single moment can be. It can feel so irrelevant until it becomes a memory.

When Charlie's sweaty and worn out from playing, I know it's time to get going. As much as I want to stay here, I made a promise to Paul and I know I can't flake. I quickly change Charlie into an appropriate outfit for the late November weather, before heading out. Paul and I decided on chilling at a nearby park before getting some lunch in the area. He didn't seem to mind when I explained Charlie would be with me, and I hope that today will be the beginning of him seeing my son in a new light. I know that Seth's death has been as hard on him as it has on me, and he hasn't really had the chance to spend time with Charlie since then. I just hope shit changes because I truly believe it will be beneficial for Charlie to have his father's best friend in his life. Maybe one day Paul and I can tell him all about Seth. I know it'll hurt, but I want him to know his real parents. I want him to know how much they loved him before they passed away.

Thankfully, traffic has gone back to normal since the holiday is over. I'm impatient enough as it is, you don't have to add bumper to bumper traffic to the fucking mix. I play radio Disney for Charlie's sake, and as much as I hate the music, it's pretty entertaining to hear my son babble along to the melodies. Paul's car is one of the only ones in the parking lot. I notice him sitting at a picnic table near the playground. There aren't many kids, but the ones that are here are extremely loud and jarring for Charlie. I jump out of the car and get Charlie before walking over to greet Paul, who is looking bored as fuck as he stares at his phone.

"Hey, man!" I holler at him.

His entire expression changes as soon as he sees me. A giant grin appears on his face as he waves me over. I pull him into a quick hug, patting him a few times on the back, before letting go.

"Thanks for meeting me, man. I thought we could walk around a bit before getting lunch. I want to enjoy Washington before it's freezing," I joke.

"No, I totally get it. It's nice to be out of the office for a little bit. It can get so unbearable," he says with a laugh.

We head down one of the parks trails, enjoying what's left of the multi-colored leaves before they disappear for the winter. Charlie is babbling away, incoherently. It's so fucking funny to listen to, because he sounds like a little drunk person. Come to think of it, all babies kind of act like little drunk people. They shit themselves, throw up everywhere, and babble nonsense no one understands. I grin at the thought. Charlie is without a doubt the cutest baby on the fucking Earth.

"I've never seen him talk so much," Paul chuckles.

He's probably right. Last time he really hung out with Charlie, he was super little, not even six months at the time. Now that he's almost one, he's talking constantly. Of course, hardly any of what he says makes sense…but, it's cool nonetheless.

"Yeah, he loves to talk to himself. Sometimes I try to figure out what he's saying, but I really have no fucking clue."

We both laugh as we watch Charlie continue to babble.

"His newest word is 'no'. So that's definitely a trip."

Paul throws his head back and laughs. Looking more relaxed than I've seen him look in a long time. "That's awesome, man. I'm sure he'll learn 'yes' soon enough."

"Da da!" Charlie interrupts, grabbing my face between his chubby, little hands.

Paul's body tenses at my side. I frown, but I understand why he's fucking uncomfortable. This is another reminder that Seth isn't with us. I truly hope that Charlie calling me 'dad' doesn't make him too uncomfortable. His real dad isn't here and I know I probably seem like a poor fucking substitute. I push my self-esteem issues aside, because I know that's not what Paul's fucking thinking. Hell, he'd never think something like that. I know he's just said that Seth is gone. It hasn't even been a year since his passing and the wounds are still so fucking fresh for us both.

After a moment, Paul's smile returns and his body relaxes. He doesn't say anything and I know better than to comment. I don't want to bring up anything heavy today. Instead, I want to focus on positive energy and moving forward. Seth would have wanted that. I know my brother and he couldn't stand when anyone around him was unhappy. Even when we were both little he'd always be there for me when I would cry, even if it was just some trivial shit. He would swoop in and save the day. That's just the type of guy he was. If he could see us now, he'd want us both to be happy and in the moment.

"How's Bella doing?" Paul asks, all awkwardness gone completely.

"She's great! We're actually moving in together. Well, we live together in my apartment now, but we've found a house we're interested in buying."

A big grin appears on Paul's face and he gives me a proud slap on the back. "That's incredible, man! You're going to be a homeowner!"

Seth would flip! Paul doesn't say this, but I know he wants too. Seth would be so fucking proud of me if he were still alive. I could imagine the smile on his face right now. It would be a lot like Paul's actually. While they look completely different, they're practically fucking twins when it comes to their expressions and mannerisms. It's so fucking uncanny at times. That's why it fucking hurt to hang out with him when Seth first died. Paul was a fucking mirror of my older brother and it was hard to be around that. However, now that I've reached some level of acceptance, things are getting easier. I'll always carry my brother in my heart, but with each day I grow stronger and it becomes less painful.

"Thanks. I'm so excited. I never thought I'd want all this, but now that it's happening I'm really happy."

"Well, I'm really happy for you and Bella. Let me know if you need any help moving in."

An idea springs into my head, and I blurt it out before I can think too long about it. I don't need to think, because I can feel that this is the right decision. "I know this is really random and out of nowhere, but Bella and I are getting married soon and I need a best man. Since Seth isn't here, I really want it to be you. I know it's a lot to throw at you, but it would really mean a lot to me."

Paul hesitates for a moment, and an emotion appears in his eyes that I can't fucking name. It's fleeting and before I can analyze it, he smiles and looks away.

"I'd love to do it," he answers.

All my previous thoughts fade away because I'm so fucking happy. Everything in my life seems to be falling into place and I can't believe it. With Paul at my side, that aspect of the wedding won't be so fucking bleak. As happy as I've been, I was dwelling on the fact that my brother wouldn't be there to watch me get married. He'd think I was fucking shitting him if he heard I was engaged. Knowing him, he'd want to be part of my wedding in a huge way. He'd plan an amazing bachelor party, give an amazing speech, and would tease me relentlessly about my past. I know I'll have him there in spirit, though. Even with all the shit that's happened with me, Paul has always been like my brother. Therefore, I'm fucking honored and thrilled to have him as my best man.

"The wedding isn't planned yet and I'm not sure what Bella really wants to do, but I'll keep you up to date," I go on to explain, with a huge fucking grin on my face.

"Just tell me when and where to show up, and I'll be there," he smiles back.

As we leave the park and make our way to lunch, I reflect on how fucking awesome it is to have my friend back. I forgot about how awesome Paul is and I can't believe I shut him out at first. Now that we're friends again, it's like I never left for Cali. It's like we're back in high school with Seth, just dicking around. Memories of my brother still come crashing back when I look at Paul, but now it's no longer painful. Now I can look at those memories and smile, appreciating the time I had with my brother. We had so many awesome times together and I smile, knowing Seth lived an amazingly full life in the time that he had. Sure, it was too fucking short, but he lived more in his twenty-eight years than some do in an entire lifetime.

A/N: It's good that Edward has another friend! I have a poll in my Facebook group (The Highlander Princess's Clan) asking what you want to see for the next outtake. It's going to be an outtake in another character's point of view! So, please hop over there and vote!

Song- "I Need My Girl" by The National. An amazing band.