The notion was fleeting, the doubt lasting but a second. Of course, he wanted her.
He needed her.
But how healthy was that?
Dossier Ch. 15
Relena stood in the doorway, politely nibbling on her American-style cheeseburger.
He dipped a frite into a miniature container of mayonnaise, allowing the mild condiment to fully coat the tip of the fry.
He sat in his favorite arm chair in her home office, the stiffest one directly across from the door. The one most strategically placed should an intruder force an entry. Next to the chair sat a modest potted plant that hid a small handgun in it's potting soil.
She didn't budge from her spot, supporting nearly all of her weight on one foot, with her hip up against the door's frame. Her hair was frizzy, with pieces clinging to charged particles in the air. It created a wonderful, golden halo. Her outfit was obviously mussed, with her shirt half untucked and buttons undone. The sight was incredibly electric, and he couldn't find the nerve to look away.
Relena entered the office, and pulled a bottled water out of the minifridge she kept under her desk. She retrieved another, pointing it at him.
"I'm good." He grunted. He crunched onto the frite in all its mayo-ed, salty goodness.
She placed the burger onto her desk, still half in its wrapper and far away from a pile of paperwork.
She sat in front him on the floor, allowing her legs to cross, and push up her skirt a bit. He saw her blush instantly and move to make herself more decent. He could feel the growl well within his throat in response- he missed the view. But then, he sobered. She was starting to mentally reflect on what they had done, he was sure of it. And she was trying to pull herself together for tomorrow. Her inner monologue was surely debating herself in circles.
He smiled at the thought. Of Relena debating herself. What a sight that would be.
She cleared her throat. He straightened in his seat.
"Are you comfortable sitting like that? We can switch." she shook her head.
"It's against your protocol to have your back facing an open door when I'm in the room remember?" She spoke softly, lips raising in an apologetic smirk. Ah, she was jumping right in with protocol. It was time to have that conversation.
He nodded in agreement. He needed a clear view of the doorway. He was still her bodyguard, after all.
He looked down on her, hair mussed in the cutest places, lips pursed, eyes dilated. She was a young woman at this moment, trying to figure out what her hookup was really thinking.
"So." Heero chanced.
"..So." She sighed.
"We finally had sex." He announced. As if the room itself would congratulate him. He let himself smile a bit, and he was surprised to notice he didn't have to give it much effort. He needed to cut the nervous energy she was giving him.
She leaned back onto her palms, letting her neck tilt slightly to the side, letting out a small breath through her nose. Instantly he could see her calm.
"What should we tell Zechs tomorrow." He decided to just go for the meat of it. She pressed her lips into a thin line, but didn't lose that growing peace within her.
"What do you want to tell my brother, Heero?"
He sat back a little bit to muse. She deflected the decision making to him, something she didn't do often. Her eyes were searching his for an answer.
He pulled another frite from his bag and shoved it sans-mayo into his mouth. Maybe he could mumble his way out of this with teeth full of potato.
"I want to tell him a lot of things..."
"Be nice!" she chuckled, and the sound was so welcome. Immediately, the tension lifted.
"I want to tell him, that I'd do anything for you. Even if it meant losing my job... or even my rank."
She stilled for a moment, leaning forward, trying her best to read him.
"Are you sure about that Heero?"
He nodded, reaching for another frite, dipping it into mayo, and offering it to her. She accepted it and placed it slowly into her mouth, allowing it to hang from her lips like a cigarette.
"I want to be with you. I want that more than... anything." He exhaled, the words sounding like they came from somewhere else. He hadn't given them much thought.
Her teeth flashed in a satisfied smile. Yes, she had finally broken him. He finally admitted it, that he wanted to be with her, that he wanted to be hers.
"I..." she started, frite dangling between smiling teeth. "I want that too. I've wanted it for a long time..."
"So maybe... let's just be honest with him."
"With who?"
"With your brother."
"How honest are you suggesting?" Heero saw her skin pale, nervousness crawling back up her neck.
"Not that honest..." he smiled, appreciating her reaction. "... I am going to tell Zechs that I want to be with you. Simple as that."
She mirrored his smile, and in a flurry of what he could only describe as lightning-quick clumsiness, she threw her arms around his neck.
Heero lay with eyes wide open that night. To his right, Relena slept deeply, again bathed in the blue light of the monitors nearby.
Why would he deny himself another night at her side? Especially considering the threat of his happiness being squashed by the government loomed over his head.
A global government who controlled who loved who.
He chuckled at the thought, until he realized he had let himself muse on that word yet again.
That 'L' word.
But a dark realization stirred within him.
How could he let himself think about love, or rather, deserving of hers, when he would betray her in the morning?
He had managed to take shots of several key, classified pages of the Mars file before Une's meeting. Before he returned to his office to find Relena waiting for him.
Before they gave themselves to each other.
He turned on his side to stare at the bedside drawer that housed his cell phone. The untraceable burner phone that housed the classified photos of the file lay unassuming next to his subcompact Glock 27.
In just a few hours, would he get up to make the trip? Was the idea of another sibling, of any more knowledge about himself worth risking everything? Risking her?
"Mary and I are going for a walk"
The flower between his forefingers was hotter than he could have ever imagined a flower could be.
He couldn't remember the last time anything ever burned his finger tips.
He looked up and saw her, the girl he had killed years and years ago. Back when he was a terrorist, back when he was just a boy. A child soldier.
A murderer.
She was holding her clenched fist over him, positioned directly over the flower. He couldn't quite make out her expression, but he felt frozen. He could see her muscles straining against her skin as she clenched.
He looked down at the flower, and it was bright red.
Immediately he realized that it was her blood burning his fingertips as it slowly oozed down the flower's stem. She had clenched her fist so tight that it had drawn blood somehow.
He looked up once again, only to see she was gone, and he was completely drenched in her blood.
His eyes blinked open slowly, straining against the steam emanating from his shower's floor.
Now what?
He had come to in his own shower, the water cutting him with tiny jetstreams on its hottest setting.
He was naked, and half sudsed from whatever soap he had chosen.
As he moved to steady himself against his palms he winced, and saw that he must have clenched his fists so tight that his nails left imprints against his skin.
He sat for a moment to let the water wash him on its own before he made his exit. He immediately noticed a fresh work outfit folded up on his sink, with his burner phone neatly placed on top.
Heero let his hand hover over the phone before he reached for it, unlocking its screen with his thumb.
0:400... the time he had been planning on being out the door to meet this other Clark.
If anything, he could use the meeting to gain intelligence on what they knew. He didn't have to give up any information.
He pulled up Relena's home security system on his phone, and watched the feed of her sleeping in the next room.
It seemed all too familiar, the paper cup of hot Americano, the chill in the early morning air.. the lack of bodies in the cafe, save for the occasional suit gearing up for their daily grind with a cup of caffeine.
It was already passed five a.m. Whoever this other Clark was, they were late.
By Five-thirty, Heero was ready to leave, a contradictory mix of both relief and reluctance welling in his chest.
He reached for his pea coat and gathered up his unread newspaper, when the sound of giggling distracted him. A group of school girls, at least ten of them, flooded the cafe, like a stampede of loud animals.
Heero felt a small hand grab at his wrist as he shrugged into his coat, immediately he recoiled, turning to see a small Asian teenager in a European school uniform.
There was something eerily familiar about her, Heero decided.
"Nice to see you again Duo. Or should I say... Odin."
Heero wanted to tear his cup in half.
A girl he had never expected to see again was sitting across from him, fully coherent, speaking fluent English.
His tour guide from his time in Japan, the girl he rescued from a perverted old grandpa in a noodle stall.
"What are you thinkin' about Odin?" Heero shuddered, he didn't appreciate how casual she was being. How she spoke to him like she's known him for years.
"Don't hold out on me. Don't you want to know who I am?" She leaned forward onto the table, no doubt garnering the attention of concerned cafe patrons.
Heero stayed silent.
"Want to play a game? You can ask me three questions, and I will answer only one." She said while retreating back into her seat.
He leaned back, crossing his arms and studying her. What could she possibly know? Or perhaps, this persona of hers was all an act. Perhaps she'd known who he was for years, even during his time in Japan.
She seemed harmless at first glance, but there had to be something more. She wanted details about Relena's Mars project. What kid would want that?
"Oh are you thinking about her? Tell me... what is she like?" Her eyes dilated, star struck.
She was freaking him out.
"Who are you?"
She smiled, resting her chin against her knuckles.
"Next question please."
"What is your connection to me." Heero forced.
"And last question?"
"What do you want, exactly?" She raised an eyebrow at his last request, and brought her hand to the table, drumming her fingers on the surface.
She seemed to muse over his questions, mulling over which one she'd answer.
"What kind of questions are those?" She laughed. "You already know the answers to them all."
His hands tingled. He decided his comfort threshold had been met.
Heero thrust his arms through his pea coat sleeves in a single, fluid motion— and made for the door.
What was he thinking even making that trip?
If he "already knew the answers", then what the hell... was... he thinking.
He could go down for this.
He booked it for his Preventer-issued SUV, parked several blocks away from the coffee shop. He almost stopped in his tracks when he realized he had made the trip to Boom in government property. What if someone had spotted him? What if the Clarks were watching?
He hopped in the driver's seat and engaged the clutch.
He reached for his burner phone to delete the snapshots of the Mars files, but soon felt his blood run cold.
His burner was gone.
—next chapter starts here—
Heero clutched his steering wheel, knuckles white.
His burner phone was gone, and with it, access to three snap shots of classified data. Not to mention countless apps and emails. How could he have become so careless? When did this happen?
He paled.
Access to the briar rose protocol was on there as well. With one click any hostile could remove Relena from the network. Heero would be unable to track her location via phone GPS, and she would lose access to any computer or device.
That would be multiple times in one week he'd be undone by his own protocol.
"What... an asshole." He mumbled aloud through gritted teeth.
But wait.
Perhaps the day wasn't lost.
"My security locks..."
His phone came with a standard fingerprint lock, programmed with several of his own finger prints (should he ever lose a finger) as well as an optional secondary retina scan he himself had equipped for a tighter garrison.
He had initiated that second scan before he left Relena's, he was sure of it.
But there was an unknown variable. Could a half brother, or sister, break through his retina scan? He knew breaking the print hack could be done, he'd done it several times before.
But could a sibling retina scan fool his script?
He had to make a choice. He had to get in touch with someone.
He reached for the red call button on his dashboard, and dialed the number.
The satellite connected them with a friendly ping, and soon Trowa was on the small screen.
"Commander Yuy." He said with a knowing smile and sarcastic nod of his head.
"Trowa. What do you already know?"
"I know that you're looking at a few decades behind bars if you don't play your cards right."
"I'm on my way in. Get to Relena's office as soon as we hang up and call my car from there. Do it now."
Heero gunned it for Brussels, weaving in and out of traffic, and occasionally throwing on his rarely-used emergency lights. The droning sirens made him more uncomfortable by the second, and immediately he felt all eyes on him.
He was trying to put out his own fire before it was too late.
He arrived at HQ at 07:00, choosing the stairs over waiting on the elevator.
He was trying to manifest the image of Relena seated at her desk into being. Hoping beyond hope that whoever swiped his phone wasn't about to use it against him.
He slowed his steps.
He was acting insane.
Even if the Clarks had taken his phone, it wasn't Relena they'd be after.
They were using him for information. They were playing a game of quid pro quo.
They had sold him information on his past, and he hadn't yet paid up.
But how valuable was the newly-discovered fact that he possibly had a brother and sister?
He stood in front of Relena's office door, feeling like a child. Trowa had never called him, which didn't bode well. He reached for the door's handle, but was met with air.
"I'd half expected you to be here sooner, Yuy." Zechs greeted him through gritted teeth. He stepped to the side to let Heero through, narrowing the space just enough for the two of them to collide briefly at the shoulder.
Trowa sat, legs crossed in an open chair. Relena sat next to him, hands playing with her braid. Zechs had made himself at home at her desk.
"Before we get started with today's internal affairs investigation, Barton here has me waiting on baited breath on some information. Information he refuses to discern without you present."
Heero glared at his so-called friend from the doorway, who met him with a less-than-amused shrug of his shoulders.
"Do you want me to tell them or shall I let you have the floor?" Trowa offered.
"I'll handle it. You're dismissed Gamma." Heero nodded, never breaking his glare.
Trowa exhaled and took his leave, allowing Heero to take his place in the empty chair on Relena's right.
"Out with it Yuy." Zechs snarled. Heero could see Relena cross her arms from the corner of his eye. This was it, he was about to betray her trust.
"I was... doing intelligence work for Operation Excavation..." he started, gripping the arms of his chair as if he'd fall out of his seat any moment.
He felt Relena stir, sitting up straighter.
"My phone was stolen in the process. A burner, with... classified information on it. As well as several Preventer apps, namely... Briar Rose."
"Okay. Looks like I have a two for one special today..." Zechs grumbled as he pulled out a tablet from an unseen bag.
"This info leak might take precedence. What else was on that phone Yuy." the officer glared with snarling teeth, eyes darting between the two lovers in front of him.
"What are you getting at Zechs?" Heero started.
"Just what are you suggesting?" Relena interjected.
"There better not be any compromising images of my sister on that phone Yuy." Zechs nearly roared. Heero couldn't help but smirk, and then instantly felt like an idiot. He was about to confess to some low-key espionage, treason against the unified government, double-dipping without consent. Whatever you wanted to call it.
"There were several... photos of classified Mars data on the phone."
"They weren't classified. That file I gave you was cleared for the public by my PR today." Relena interrupted. "Remember Heero?"
Zechs sat back in his chair. Heero chose to remain silent.
"Yuy you will tell me which pages of that information you had snapshots of. For now, I'm more concerned about Briar Rose. The excavation operation is between you and Une." Zechs made a few swipes on his tablet screen until he pulled up a user interface.
"I'm accessing your 'burner phone' right now." Zechs muttered.
"I see no activity. You had your secondary security on, you're an idiot but at least you remembered to do that."
Heero sat back in his chair, dumbfounded. The stars were aligning for him, but it didn't shake the immense guilt he was feeling. He was in the clear, it seemed, but he had still acted against Relena's wishes and threatened her trust. He was ashamed.
"Yuy, do what you have to do with this." Zechs handed Heero the tablet, which revealed access to his burner phone. The fact that Zechs was capable of accessing it from his tablet scared him. He had underestimated the government, they had probably been watching him for years.
With a few deliberate swipes and some typed in code, Heero disabled the phone remotely, deleting every file in an instant. Whoever had his phone now was likely throwing it against a wall in frustration. Why he hadn't thought of doing this from his car earlier, he couldn't be sure.
He chanced a look to his left at Relena, who had been sitting back, studying him. Neither of them knew what the other was thinking, and the idea terrified him.
"One problem down. Next problem." Zechs retrieved the table from Heero's sweating palms and swiped the screen.
"Commander Heero Yuy, of 'special projects', how long have you been screwing my sister, Foreign Minister Relena Peacecraft Darlian?"
Heero shuddered. It was going to be a long morning.
Not sure if you can tell, but I definitely struggled with this chapter! Which I have been writing for months... During this past year, I got engaged, had emergency surgery, and started grad school! It was the reviews that pushed me to dive back in. I can't believe I let this story go for this long without an update! Thanks for your support, and for not giving up on me!
~murshmallow