Aaaand, it's been another two months. With a Total Rewind Island chapter in between :3
This may have taken a while but it's here! And 21 contestants will become 20
Euro-Drama Scholarised - Episode 2, Part 2 - Scary Irish Lady
"Now that we have our idea, who wants to play the lead?" Isak asked.
"Oh, me, yeah," Calvin said, raising his hand. "I've been doing theatre club a good decade."
"Pardon?" Lidika cupped her ear.
Calvin shook his head, "Thee-at-ur cl-uh-b. I do it."
"Okay, okay," Lidika put up her hands in defeat. "Anyone else?"
"What? What's f**king wrong with me?" Calvin protested.
"No offence, but I can't understand you half the time. Just not sure you're the right pick," Lidika said.
"Huh? Come on! The rest of you can understand me, right?"
"I actually have a bit of trouble too," Os agreed. "I mean, I can hear some words, but others I can't 'cause they sound too different from what I'm used to."
"Ugh, this is some f**king bulls**t," Calvin scowled. "Okay, fine. I can make you understand…I can do some limey accent…ahem…welcome. Please scan your first item. Insert cash or select payment type."
"Haha, that was pretty good," Isak chuckled.
Maeve was howling with laughter, "Was that meant to be one of those Tesco checkout things?"
"I could understand every word," Lidika said. "Can you talk like that all the time?"
"And commit treason? Not a f**king hope," Calvin said, returning to his regular voice.
"Okay, so Calvin is our lead. Who wants to do the supporting roles?" Isak asked, rubbing his hands.
"I volunteer as tribute!" Maeve shouted, raising her hand. She then added, "I used to do speech and drama until I was, like, 12. Then I switched to dancing and the rest is history."
"What the heck? I'll do it too," Raquel-Maria said.
"Good, good," Isak nodded. "Now, we got tons of other jobs for people to do. Camera-people, makeup, editors, prop designers – a film takes a well-oiled people machine."
"Team Wallonia!" Tomas cheered. "I'm up for doing the props. Ain't doin' any of that gay makeup."
"Hey, not cool," Maeve frowned, gesturing towards Calvin.
"Ah, lighten up. 'Tis all just a bit of banter," Calvin shrugged.
[Confessional: The first scene of this chapter occurred before the last scene of the last chapter, hence Samson's last confessional
Maeve (Ireland): I'm not sure what to think of Tomas so far. He's like your textbook Trump supporter.
Calvin (United Kingdom): People are so easily offended these days. One of my exes broke up with me 'cause I showed him a 'Poland can't into space' comic. I wish I was making that up.]
"…me-me-me-me!" Brook squeaked
"That sorts that out," Henrik chuckled as he sat with a pen and paper, and sported some black hipster glasses. "Who else wants to do a part?"
After a couple seconds of silence, Ximo raised his hand, "I'll do one. Why not?"
"Good, good," Henrik nodded. "Anyone else?"
The rest of the team looked at each other, nobody else keen to put their name forward.
"Oh, I have a brilliant idea!" Brook exclaimed. "How about Ximo does the main part, and I do all the supporting parts? They'd have to give us points for creativity."
"But the whole point is that it's about an Australian who doesn't know it's summer," Henrik pointed out.
"I'm no good at accents," Ximo added.
"Oh," Brook sighed. "Well…it doesn't have to be Australia. It could somewhere else in the south. Somewhere that speaks Spanish like Argentina or Chile. No offence, I know you're Catalan."
"None taken. My first language is Spanish anyway," Ximo shrugged.
"Okay, we'll go with Argentina I suppose," Henrik said, continuing to scribble. "But there's loads of jobs for the rest of you. Nobody's gonna slack off today."
Yoana and Robert shot each other confused looks.
"Ooh, I call special effects!" Sandrine exclaimed, waving her hand.
"Not sure where stink-bombs fit into a holiday story," Yoana remarked.
"Hey, I can do much more than stink-bombs," Sandrine frowned. "I could do sound effects for a plane crash."
"Plane crash," Henrik repeated slowly as he wrote it down.
"Sign me up too. That sounds like my kind of job," Kees added.
"Alright, got it."
"I'd like to do the camera," Robert said. "And…I think Stefanija should join me."
"W…" Yoana began but she quickly stopped herself.
"Okay," Stefanija shrugged.
"That leaves Haleme, Yoana and Samson," Henrik said.
"I can do costumes," Haleme said brightly. "I've done a little sewing."
"I don't know if we have time to do many costumes from scratch, but that's good to know," Henrik nodded. "Editing. We need someone to edit."
"I wouldn't know the first thing," Yoana admitted.
"I've used Camtasia," Samson said confidently.
"I'll help with the costumes, I guess," Yoana added.
"I'm going to assume that's an editing program," Henrik nodded. "Okay, for now Brook and Ximo can help me with the script. Everyone else get to work."
Everyone else dispersed, leaving just the three of them at the table.
[Confessional: Where have I been?
Ximo (Spain): I'm not fully fluent in Catalan. I can hold a conversation but I just don't know the words for some things. It's easier to pick up English since the internet is mostly in that language.
Samson (Belgium): I hope I didn't make Henrik disappointed. He's made it clear that he doesn't like technology.
Yoana (Bulgaria): What is Robert up to? [shrugs] It's probably none of my business.
Calvin (United Kingdom): [sighs] Henrik looked so good in those glasses.
What? I'm a free agent.
Stefanija (Croatia): Spending the afternoon with a Romanian wouldn't have been my first choice, but I'll take it.]
In the costume department, Haleme threw about some outfits while Yoana carefully browsed clothes hangers.
"So, what are we looking for again?" Yoana asked.
"I don't know. I'm just trying to find some mittens. But I guess we need winter gear," Haleme replied from within a pile of clothing. "Shoot, I dropped one of my oranges."
"You carry those everywhere?"
"Sure," Haleme replied, her head popping up. "They're my gimmick. It would be like you not saying anything mean."
"Mean? I…" Yoana protested. "Okay, I get your point. There's a winter jacket here, we can use that."
Haleme emerged from the pile she made, holding a hat and scarf. "No luck yet."
Just then, Ebba and Lidika ran in.
"Stranded on a desert island. What kind of costume do we need for a guy stuck on a desert island?" Lidika asked aloud.
"Well…I'd go with some sort of tourist outfit, but make it raggedy," Ebba stated.
"A tourist outfit. Like…a Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts?" Lidika suggested. "Calvin wears cargos anyway so that's half the job done."
Ebba giggled, "I'm not sure if we'll find a Hawaiian shirt, but you've got the right idea."
[Confessional: Come on, 21…WRITE!
Ebba (Germany): Lidika is a useful shield, but the question is…do I enjoy her company as a person? Because I'm not really sure.]
Stefanija groaned to herself as she tried to fiddle with the tripod, while Robert stood behind her with a handheld camera.
"Ugh, nothing I try works," she groaned.
"Let me have a go," Robert said, stuffing his camera into one of his hoodie pockets. "Try this knob here."
"Hmm…oh it works. Thanks," Stefanija grinned. "So, why did you ask me to help you?"
"Because I wanted a chance to talk to you," Robert replied. "My parents were Croatian, you know."
Stefanija gasped in delight, "Oh my, God, really!? Why didn't you say so before?"
"Didn't get the opportunity," Robert shrugged.
"Oh, this is awesome!" Stefanija squealed. "Can you speak any Croatian?"
"No, sorry," Robert sighed. "The orphanage beat Romanian into us at a young age."
"That's a shame," Stefanija said. "But you could do a lot worse than Romanian."
"How so?"
"Like Hungarian. You live in Romania, so you must know some."
"Yes. I…uh…know a few."
"Hungarians disgust me," Stefanija began to rant. "They spent centuries suppressing so many different cultures – Slovaks, Czechs, Croats, Slovenes…but now they refuse to integrate with other countries. They build their own schools, live in segregated communities, it's just…awful. I'm surprised they haven't been expelled."
"Some…um…ethnic groups are like that," Robert nodded. "Like those Icelandics…"
[Confessional: Robert's name is meant to have an acute on the 'o' but I got lazy
Robert (Romania): [furious] I may be Hungarian by blood, but Romania is still my home. How dare she say I should be expelled! F**K THAT B**CH!
Stefanija (Croatia): Nice that someone's interested in the truth. Yoana may be my Slavic sister but she's so judgemental all the time.]
Meanwhile, Os and Soren were setting up the camera for Team Wallonia.
"I don't know where to start," Os admitted. "I just went with this 'cause I didn't know what else to do."
"That's okay. I know my way around a camera. Me and my friends like to make movies sometimes," Soren replied.
"What kind of movies?" Os asked.
"Usually spy or superhero movies," Soren said. "Though once I filmed my friend doing amateur porn."
Os' mouth dropped open, "You filmed porn? How old are you again?"
"16," Soren grinned. "My friend was 19 though. Not sure about the girl."
"Ugh, I hope she wasn't underage," Os winced. "That'd be f**ked up. You heard about what happened to Rikard and Anton, right?"
"Yeah. Some fan snuck onto Lara's farm and found their sex tape," Soren sighed. "And then they uploaded it to the internet. Like, what is wrong with some people?"
"I know. Did Intern #3 ever get in trouble for trying to steal it?" Os asked.
"I don't know. I heard she disappeared. Nobody's been able to track her down since last season ended."
[Confessional: Does this format work?
Os (Italy): Jesus, he's 16 and he's filmed porn? I thought I'd seen s**t
Soren (Denmark): [sighs] I still have a lot to compensate for.]
Tomas and Taras entered a room full of random objects.
"Do you have the list?" Taras asked.
"Yeah," Tomas answered, holding up a sheet of paper. "Isak is way too specific with some of these."
"We'll do our best," Taras shrugged. "What's first on the list?"
"A suitcase, preferably rectangular with wheels," Tomas read.
Taras looked around, "Huh, I don't see…hmm?"
His left hand tapped his right hand.
"Oh, Pravo has found one," Taras said as his left hand pointed to the left.
"Nice," Tomas commented as Taras dragged out a shabby brown suitcase. "It's not exactly what we're looking for, but it will do."
"Well, as papa always said, na bezryb'ye i rak ryba," Taras shrugged.
"What does that mean?" Tomas asked, adjusting his cap
"Literally it's 'when there's no fish, a crayfish is a fish," Taras explained. "But it basically means 'beggars can't be choosers'."
"Yeah, my pappy uses them sayings a lot," Tomas said as he began rummaging through one of the piles. "Like 'Kas nedirba, tas nevalgo', which means 'he who doesn't work doesn't eat'. I wish that was the case. You get so many people in my country who don't work and live off our taxes. It's sick."
"Can you speak Lithuanian?" Taras asked.
"Yep. My pappy speaks it around me and my brothers," Tomas replied. "It's nice having a language that nobody else can understand."
"I wish I could say the same," Taras sighed. "I live close to the Caucusus, so a couple of my friends have their own languages."
He pulled out a metal pole, "I found a pole. Wasn't that on the list?"
Tomas had a look at the list. "Yes, it is. For some reason."
"Maybe it's meant to be part of the tractor," Taras suggested.
"Huh," Tomas said. "Now that I think about it, half of the things on the list are meant to…ARRRRGGGGHHH!"
Tomas let out a high pitched scream as a loud boom came from the other side of the room.
"Plane crash sound effect is an undoubtable success!" Sandrine announced, and she and Kees high-fived.
"What the frick? Have you guys been there the whole time!?" Tomas screeched, his arms in the air.
"Just say f**k, dude. Nobody cares," Kees chuckled.
[Confessional: YOU FRICKS!
Tomas (Lithuania): Taras is cool. Probably my best friend on the team so far. The Russian and the American making friends – this'll make headlines on the mainstream media.
Taras (Russia): Pravo is great at finding stuff. Meanwhile I can't even recognise people's faces]
"What are we supposed to find?" Kees asked as he rummaged through one of the cupboards. "Henrik didn't give us much direction."
"No," Sandrine agreed. "So, the whole story is a guy from Argentina goes to somewhere in the north?"
"Yeah."
"Maybe we should deal with the plane. Like, should we build a full-sized one, or maybe make a model?" Sandrine asked.
"A model one would be quicker. For the inside we can just use some chairs," Kees said.
"So what? A paper aeroplane?"
"What? Hell no!" Kees exclaimed, grabbing a large piece of cardboard. "We'll make one out of this."
"Will it take long?" Sandrine asked.
"Fifteen…twenty minutes. It'll be simple enough," Kees said.
"Alright. I'll keep looking for more props," Sandrine shrugged.
Kees sighed in delight as he went to the table against the wall and grabbed some scissors and tape.
"Ugh, I used to have loads of model aeroplanes when I was a kid," he said. "I had, like half a dozen hanging in my room. My friends and I used to play 'World War 3' with them."
"Aw, that's cute," Sandrine said as she crawled under another table. "My room was full of science stuff. Like chemistry sets and science magazines. And I had this plastic skeleton called Oscar."
"Chemistry sets. That must have been a gateway…"
"ACTION!" Taras screamed in Kees' ear.
"ARRRGHHH!" Kees yelled, dropping the tape.
"Haw-haw, that was awesome," Tomas laughed in the background.
"At least I don't scream like a girl," Kees shot back.
[Confessional: Because 'os' is the French word for 'bone'
Kees (Netherlands): [sighs] Those were good times. Before we went to war, I'd make all my friends take a pledge for the queen. [laughs] I was such a dork.]
Isak and Ilana sat next to each other at one of the tables in the foyer.
"Okay, we're on a roll. We're on a roll," Isak nodded in satisfaction. "So…what to do after he hotwires the tractor?"
"Hmm…wait, how does he hotwire the tractor?" Ilana asked.
"With the paperclip."
"How do you hotwire a tractor with a paper-clip?"
"You can't. The whole point is we're making fun of prison break movies."
"Oh, that's right!" Ilana exclaimed in realisation. "I'm sorry. I drifted off there."
"It's okay. It happens," Isak shrugged. "Maybe the tractor could dig under the island, and that'll bring Calvin to dry land."
"That's…good," Ilana commented. "But if we're making the escape as BS as possible…the tractor could have special tyres that float on water."
"Brilliant," Isak chuckled, writing the idea down. "But how are going to make the tractor float on water?"
"If we had some blue sheets of paper. Or we could take some white ones and paint them," Ilana suggested.
"Or we could make them green – and then we could add water using the video editor."
"Like a green-screen. Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Ilana asked rhetorically. "We're so winning this."
She did a little dance with her chest, sending her boobs back and forth. This made Isak's eyes go wide. He looked under the table and sighed.
[Confessional: *insert Ben Shapiro's sister meme here*
Isak (Sweden): I have a good feeling about this challenge. Ilana and I work really well together – her ideas are the breast…I mean, best! [his face goes crimson]]
Henrik sat at a different table with Brook and Ximo.
"So…how are we going to make this into a story?" Henrik asked.
"Hmm…what kind of places would you go on a summer holiday?" Brook asked. "There's the beach."
"The swimming pool, the zoo, theme parks," Ximo listed with his fingers.
Henrik continued to write. "…zoo…theme parks. I guess he'll go place to place, get sweatier and sweatier."
"And then he dies!" Brook blurted out.
"Okay, why not?" Henrik chuckled.
"Maybe Brook should be lead after all," Ximo suggested. "If it's going to be a comedy I feel you'd pull it off better."
"Can you handle all the other roles?" Brook asked.
"Definitely," Ximo smirked.
"Okay then," Brook shrugged.
"So we're back to Australian," Henrik nodded.
[Confessional: Tagging everyone who liked his post proved his point. Not sorry
Henrik (Iceland): I'm not really that creative, but a good leader learns to adapt. Brook and Ximo are good at this though.]
"…yeah, not really much you can say about the Swiss," Stefanija concluded.
"I need to go the bathroom," Robert said. "I'll back in a minute."
"Okay," Stefanija nodded as Robert dashed off.
As soon as Robert was sure Stefanija was out of sight, he took the camera out of his pocket and pressed stop.
Then he hit play.
"Ugh, nothing I try works."
"Perfect," he grinned, and he walked away.
"And done!" Kees exclaimed.
Sandrine popped her head out of a pile of props.
"Oh my God. That's so good!" she squealed.
Kees had made a cardboard aeroplane with wings taped on the sides and windows drawn with marker.
"So, how are we doing with the rest of the props?" Kees asked.
"There's some things we can use," Sandrine said. "A parasol, some skis…"
"Hey fellas," Robert greeted as he entered the prop room.
"What's up, Robert?" Kees greeted back. "Are we filming yet?
"Not quite," Robert replied. "I need to show you something."
"What is it?" Sandrine asked.
"Well, remember how I said Yoana told me that Stefanija was racist?" Robert asked.
"Yes," Kees replied.
"Wait, what!?" Sandrine exclaimed in surprise.
"Well, I now have proof," Robert said. He took out the camera and pressed play.
…
Kees and Sandrine looked bewildered as they listened to the camera. Taras and Tomas looked up every now and then, but they couldn't really hear it so they didn't pay much attention
"Hungarians disgust me," Stefanija began to rant. "They spent centuries suppressing so many different cultures – Slovaks, Czechs, Croats, Slovenes…but now they refuse to integrate with other countries. They build their own schools, live in segregated communities, it's just…awful. I'm surprised they haven't been expelled."
"Some…um…ethnic groups are like that," Robert nodded. "Like those Icelandics."
"I actually don't mind Icelanders," Stefanija admitted. "They mostly mind their own business. Though they've totally drank the social justice Kool-Aid. Did you know that they banned porn and strip clubs?"
"No," Robert replied.
"They're among the better Western Europeans though," Stefanija said. "Just look at the UK, Netherlands, France, Spain…they spent so much of their history destroying the cultures of other countries. It's kind of funny seeing them getting cucked by immigration and refugees."
"Immigration," Robert repeated.
"Yeah, they decided to just open the border and let in millions of fighting age men. In Sweden they have over 100,000 and now they're the rape capital of Europe," Stefanija continued. "And you can't speak out against it or you get arrested for hate speech because you can't hurt people's feelings. Just look at France. I bet thousands of French guys and girls applied to be on this show, and who do they choose? That frumpy camel who went home last night. All for the sake of diversity or something."
"Uh-huh," Robert said. "But, you know, there's many countries in the east, like Azerbaijan."
"I'm fine with Azerbaijan. I mean, they're not my Slavic brothers and sisters but they're okay by me," Stefanija shrugged. "And besides, they kicked Russia's ass after the Cold War. And Russians are so dangerous."
"Say what?" Taras said aloud.
"Really?" Robert asked.
"Yes! Do you not know any history? After World War II they took over all of Eastern Europe and put in all these communist governments. See, communism is so rubbish that you can only force people to live under it."
"Oh yeah, of course. Romania had that revolution in late 80's," Robert remembered.
"You know all about that I see."
"What do you think of the Swiss?"
"They're okay. They mind their own business," Stefanija replied. She then started to laugh, "It's kind of sad that it took Switzerland to send a real French girl like Sandrine."
Robert managed to muster a laugh in response.
"Yeah, not really much you can say about the Swiss."
"I need to go to the bathroom," Robert said. "I'll be back in a minute."
Robert pressed the stop button and looked at Kees and Sandrine, whose jaws were agape.
"Oh my God!" Kees exclaimed.
"How could someone say those things?" Sandrine gasped. "Especially her. Like, I've hung out with her and I never would have guessed…"
"You're Hungarian, right?" Kees asked.
"I thought he was Croatian," Sandrine said.
"I made that up just to get her to talk," Robert admitted.
"You look traumatised. You need a hug," Sandrine offered.
"Uh…" before Robert could protest, Sandrine put her arms around him and squeezed the life out.
"Don't worry, we'll vote her out. Nobody gets away with that stuff," Kees assured him.
"Yeah, I'll talk to the girls," Sandrine added.
"Thanks. I better head back," Robert said, scratching his beard. "She might get suspicious."
"Just tell her you did a number two," Kees suggested.
[Confessional: Back and forth, back and forth
Robert (Romania): Hi, Stefanija. I just back from taking a shit
[puts on a high pitched voice] Wow, shit is disgusting. But not as disgusting as those filthy New Zealanders!
Kees (Netherlands): I don't know what to say after that. Stefanija is f**king revolting.
Sandrine (Switzerland): [her face is red] I am Swiss! Not French. Vendredi is French, and Stefanija's bigoted beliefs aren't going to change that.]
Calvin, Maeve and Raquel-Maria hung out in the Team Wallonia common room.
"…so I went tumbling down the flowerbeds, getting mud all over my sister's dress, and I lay there for 10 minutes before my friend came to help me up," Raquel-Maria concluded.
"And you were definitely sober?" Calvin snorted.
"Shush," Raquel-Maria hissed, giving him a nudge.
They both looked at Maeve, who was twitching and taking shallow breaths.
"Everything alright, love?" Calvin asked, adjusting his sunglasses.
"I…just…I'm…there's a challenge going on, and everyone else is doing jobs and creating an outcome…and I'm just stuck here doing nothing!" Maeve screamed. "It's driving me crazy!"
"What's so bad about that?" Raquel-Maria asked. "We get to chill out for a bit."
"Chill? We already chilled in the morning!" Maeve cried. "I just…I can't take this."
"Besides, we have the most important role of all," Calvin reminded her.
"You. You have the most important role. Me and Raquel are just supporting roles," Maeve pouted.
"Having a small role isn't so bad. You can't be held accountable if we lose," Calvin shrugged.
"But what if I didn't do enough? People could still hold that against me."
"Woah, calm down. Nobody's going to vote for you," Raquel-Maria assured her.
"Now's a good time to socialise," Calvin said.
"How is socialising any good?" Maeve complained. "Are you suggesting an alliance?"
"No!" Calvin exclaimed. "I mean, I wouldn't mind an alliance, but I want to keep my options open, like."
"He's in an alliance already," Raquel-Maria smirked.
"Wha? What do you mean?"
"I've seen the way you stare at Isak. You're totally gay for him," Raquel-Maria giggled.
"No I'm not!" Calvin said defensively. "Okay, maybe I am. But it's nothin' official. I don't even know if he's gay."
"He is gay," Raquel-Maria stated.
"Really? How do you know?" Calvin asked.
"I just got a gay vibe off of him," Raquel-Maria said. "The way he dresses and also his mannerisms. I think we've got ourselves a hook-up."
"Maybe," Calvin said. "Well, I'll make sure first. Wouldn't want to be awkward."
"Trust me, he is. And I think Ebba is too," Raquel-Maria said.
"Ebba?" Maeve repeated.
"Yeah. I thought she was a boy before I heard her talk," Raquel-Maria admitted.
"Really? Okay, I guess she kind of does from a distance…" Maeve replied. "We're going to get killed when everyone watches this."
"Oh yeah, if Isak isn't into me, I f**king hope he never watches my confessionals," Calvin groaned.
[Confessional: Seeing you brings back so many bad memories, and none of them are your fault
Calvin (United Kingdom): Could Isak legit be gay? I guess time will tell
Raquel-Maria (Portugal): [giggles] I might be completely wrong, but it's fun to guess
Maeve (Ireland): Talking to Calvin and Raquel was nice. Got my mind off not doing anything.
[closes her eyes and takes a deep breath] It's okay, Maeve. Isak's got this. This is movie-making. That's his whole shtick.]
"So after the teacher is done talking to me, she tells me to call in Aurora," Robert said as he and Stefanija sat on the ground, having long finished setting up the cameras. "I have no idea who Aurora is, so I walk back in, look ahead and shout 'Aurora' at the top of my voice. Everyone pissed themselves laughing. My friends went on about it for weeks."
"Oh my gosh, that's so embarrassing," Stefanija giggled. "There was this one time I…"
"We're all set!" Henrik announced as he walked in with Brook and Ximo. "Where are Kees and Sandrine?"
Robert looked like he got an electric shock just from the mention of their names.
"They're organising the props, I think," Stefanija replied.
"I thought they'd be set up by now," Henrik said, looking around. "What have you two been doing for the last two hours?"
"We figured out the cameras, and then we took a break," Stefanija replied.
"Oh my God," Henrik groaned, putting his hand to his cheek. "You know what? It's okay. We have time. Can someone fetch them now?"
"I'll do it," Ximo said, raising his hand and walking off.
"Thank you," Henrik nodded. "Brook, why don't you do some test shots?"
"Okay!" Brook exclaimed, clapping their hands excitedly, and skipping over to Robert and Stefanija, who had switched on the cameras. "Make sure you get my good side. Hee-hee."
"What side?" Robert muttered.
[Confessional: Congratulations on escaping me
Stefanija (Croatia): I cannot believe my luck. Robert is smart, funny and he has a great sense of humour. I wouldn't date him though – dating another Croat would be like dating myself. My ideal boyfriend would be Bosniak, or possibly a Slovene. And maybe a Serb – we may have had our differences but they're our brothers all the same.
Robert (Romania): The sad thing is that Stefanija is fun to talk to when she's not spewing hateful bulls**t
Henrik (Iceland): Did it not occur to them that they should be doing something? Hopefully Robert will shape up a bit once Yoana is gone.]
"That's unbelievable. She said all that?" Ximo gasped as he walked back with Kees and Sandrine. They were all carrying props in plastic bags, though Kees had kept one hand free for his cardboard aeroplane.
"Yes," Kees nodded. "But keep it low-key for now."
The three of them arrived back in the room, and put the bags on the ground. Kees and Sandrine got to sorting them out while Ximo went over to Henrik.
"Haleme and Yoana are on their way," Ximo told him, pointing his thumb at the door.
"I didn't even ask for them. Good job," Henrik beamed.
Haleme and Yoana walked in the door next, each carrying outfits on hangers
"Special delivery!" Haleme exclaimed as she handed a costume to Brook.
Brook laughed as she took the jacket and trousers. "I am going to melt in these."
"Like a shrimp on the Barbie," Haleme added in a bad Australian accent.
"Oh stop it," Brook snorted, giving her a nudge.
"Now, let me just touch up your foundation," Haleme said, whipping out a powder puff.
[Confessional: Will anybody really read these?
Haleme (Azerbaijan): The challenge has been fun so far. Yoana's not so bad once you get to know her. She has great taste in clothes too.]
Samson jumped a little as there was a knock at the door of the computer lab.
Sandrine walked in, and Samson turned to face her.
"Hi, Sandrine. What brings you here?" Samson asked with a smile.
"Henrik asked me to check on you. Just see if you're managing things fine," Sandrine said.
"Yeah, things are going well. I have the hang of this editor," Samson told her.
"Oh, good. Have you made anything?" Sandrine asked.
"I don't have footage," Samson reminded her. "But I did try some stuff out by making stickmen on Paint."
"Can I see?"
"Oui," Samson replied, clicking the mouse a couple of times.
"You speak French?" Sandrine asked.
"I live in Wallonia," Samson replied in French with a smirk. He then played a choppy animation of a stickman proposing to a stickwoman only to for the stickwoman to grab his arm and hurl him away.
"Haha. This is funny," Sandrine giggled. "You must use these editors a lot."
"Mostly for Instagram videos," Samson replied.
"You must give it to me after the show."
"Yes. Of course," Samson said.
[Confessional: Dante Colle (ok emoji)
Samson (Belgium): [scratches his neck] I, sort of, deleted my Instagram. After I broke up with my girlfriend, she convinced the rest of our friends to ignore me and…people are just garbage sometimes]
"No, no, let me show you one more time," Raquel-Maria giggled as she held a rubber ball between her knees. "Just bend over…and gently grab it."
"Gently…grab it," Calvin repeated as he tried to catch the ball with his knees. As soon as he touched the ball, it slipped out of Raquel-Maria's grip and fell on the floor. "Ah f**k me."
"What's taking Isak so long?" Maeve asked, looking at her watch.
"What will it f**king take for you to calm down?" Calvin chuckled.
"I'm serious!" Maeve exclaimed. "We've been here for more than two hours."
"It's called the creative process, love," Calvin insisted, folding his arms.
"I think we should go over. Just to see how they're getting on," Maeve suggested.
"You know what? I'm bored enough to do that," Raquel-Maria shrugged.
"Aye, could use a change of scenery," Calvin agreed.
Isak and Ilana were both laughing their heads off when the three actors walked over.
"Hello, Isak," Maeve greeted.
"Hi guys. You won't believe what idea Ilana just had," Isak said.
"Are you going to be much longer?" Maeve asked.
"I'm not sure. What time is it?" Isak asked.
"It's nearly half 12," Maeve replied.
"Oh s**t," Isak groaned. "I didn't realise we'd been here for that long. We can start now. We have plenty of ideas."
"Perfect," Calvin grinned.
[Confessional: Tulsi for VP
Isak (Sweden): I don't know what happened. I must have got distracted [his face is crimson]]
Soren and Os were setting up props when Isak, Ilana, Maeve and Raquel-Maria walked in.
"Hi guys," Raquel-Maria greeted.
"Oh, hello," Soren replied as he walked over. "Taras and Tomas dropped some stuff over a while ago. They said they're still working on the tractor."
"I'm glad they figured it out," Isak said, putting a finger to his chin. "I probably should have specified."
"Where's our star?" Os asked, also walking over.
"Calvin's on his way. I told him to get Lidika and Ebba," Isak replied.
"Hello governor!" Calvin exclaimed in a cheery English accent as he marched in. He was wearing an orange and blue Hawaiian shirt and his trainers were replaced with flip-flops.
"F**k, that is perfect!" Isak laughed, shutting one eye and making a square with his fingers.
"The socks with sandals are a nice touch," Maeve stated.
"Wait till you see what you're wearing," Ebba grinned at her, holding up a green plaid shirt and a straw hat.
[Confessional: I hate all the uncertainty
Maeve (Ireland): This is it. Now I get to actually play a part!]
Stefanija turned the tripod to Ximo and Brook, who were sitting on chairs, one in front of the other. Brook was dressed in the winter gear and Ximo was wearing a pilot shirt and cap.
"Sounds like a plan," Ximo said, using a Frisbee as a steering wheel. "I hear the weather is fine this time of year…I mean good. Oh, [Spanish swear word]."
"It doesn't matter. You don't have to stick to the script," Henrik assured him.
"Yes, yes, of course," Ximo nodded. "Will we do it again?"
"Try and talk normally, mate. You sound like you're reading the lines," Brook advised him.
"Alright! Got it!" Ximo exclaimed.
"We're rolling!" Stefanija confirmed. "Action."
Brook walked over to the chair and sat down behind Ximo.
"Hola, mi amigo," Ximo greeted.
"Hi," Brook greeted. "I just can't wait to get to Spain!"
"I agree. It is my home," Ximo replied. "What do you plan to do?"
"You know, definitely lots and lots of sight-seeing!" Brook exclaimed. "Hit a couple of amusement parks, maybe go skiing."
"Skiing?" Ximo repeated.
"Yes. I'm taking a day trip up to the Pyrenees."
"Hmm, I suppose you could get a little snow in one of the taller ones," Ximo shrugged.
[Confessional: Leave your tears at the altar
Ximo (Spain/Catalonia): Challenge was stressful. I forgot what to say. It wasn't on stage. That was good.]
"You can get me out of here? Oh please, I beg you!" Calvin cried.
"Certainly," Maeve nodded. "Let me show you."
She grabbed Calvin by his arm and dragged him away.
"Cut! Cut!" Soren exclaimed.
"And that's a wrap!" Isak announced as he went over to the tripod and unscrewed the camera. "Time for us to edit."
"That was the ending?" Lidika asked.
"No. We already shot the end," Isak reminded her. "We did this last because it's in a different location."
"Right. I'm not paying attention at all," Lidika giggled.
Isak and Taras went inside the computer lab, where Samson was already working away.
"How long have been here?" Isak asked.
"All day," Samson replied, turning around. "But Kees brought me the cameras half an hour ago."
"Damn it, we're still behind," Isak groaned.
"It's okay. We have an hour and a half," Taras assured him. "We can do this."
Isak held his hand up for a high-five, but Taras didn't notice and headed straight for the computer.
"Poo," Isak pouted, but he followed behind.
[Confessional: You're clearly searching his recent posts
Isak (Sweden): He completely left me hanging! [folds his arms] Not cool
Taras (Russia): I'm enjoying this challenge. I have two jobs and Pravo does most of the work while I take all the credit.
[his left hand slaps him in the face] Oy!]
Now that the filming was over, everyone on Team Flanders was busy cleaning away the props and the costumes.
"How do you think we'll do?" Haleme asked as she and Sandrine stacked chairs.
"I don't know. Team Wallonia has Isak and this is sort of his thing. But we have a chance too," Sandrine replied. "Did Robert come into you?"
"Sorry?"
"I'll take that as a no," Sandrine said, then she spoke in a lower tone. "Robert came into the prop room, and he played us this recording of Stefanija. She's secretly racist."
"Oh my. What kind of stuff did she say?" Haleme asked.
Sandrine tried to recall, "She said she hates Hungarians because they destroyed other cultures, and she said the same thing about all the countries in Western Europe. She said that Russians are evil because they spread communism, and…that's all I can remember for now."
"Did she say anything about Azerbaijanis?" Haleme asked.
"Yes. She actually likes Azerbaijan. Something about kicking Russia's ass," Sandrine replied. "But that's not the point."
"Of course," Haleme nodded. "Damn, that is just awful. What should we do about it?"
"We need to vote her off next time," Sandrine answered. "Kees convinced Ximo to join us, and we've already Robert and…"
"Who? Who are you voting off?" Henrik asked as he came up beside them with a sweeping brush.
"It's rude to eavesdrop," Haleme frowned.
"We're voting for Stefanija," Sandrine told him. "She said that…"
"Aw no, not this again," Henrik groaned. "Yoana made all that stuff up to save herself."
"But Robert showed me and Kees a recording," Sandrine said. "She said all these awful things, like she called Vendredi a frumpy camel."
"She said what?" Haleme gasped.
Henrik shrugged, "It was probably Yoana pretending to be her. Nothing about this adds up."
"Yoana was with me all day. When would she have had the time?" Haleme asked.
"She could have done it during lunch," Henrik pointed out.
"But Robert came to us in the morning," Sandrine said.
"Yoana did take a bathroom break in the morning," Haleme remembered.
"A-ha!" Henrik exclaimed.
"How long was she gone?" Sandrine asked.
"I don't know. Not that long," Haleme replied. "I didn't think 'What's taking her so long?"
"The video Robert showed us was at least five minutes long," Sandrine said. "So it would have taken them at least five minutes to record it, and more time to go from place to place."
"Maybe she was gone for that long, but I didn't really pay attention," Haleme shrugged.
"That sorts that," Henrik said. "Stefanija's being framed."
"But it sounded like Stefanija," Sandrine protested.
"They do sound pretty similar. Stefanija's just more high pitched. She could have impersonated her," Henrik pointed out.
"Hm," Haleme mused.
[Confessional: Get it while it's hot. Get it while it's hot
Sandrine (Switzerland): It did sound like Stefanija, but Henrik brought up some good points. I don't know what to believe
Henrik (Iceland): Yoana, you have gone too far!
Haleme (Azerbaijan): I went into Samson and asked if I could listen to the recording. If it was Yoana, her impersonation was spot on
Samson (Belgium): What the f**k did I listen to? Stefanija, you are scum!
Isak (Sweden): [throws his hands in the air] Taras and I finished just on time. I've got a good feeling about this!]
The twenty-one contestants sat in a classroom, with Team Flanders on the left side and Team Wallonia on the right side.
"Contestants!" Carla announced. "You've planned, you've filmed, you've edited, and now you face the judgement of our judges."
"Top line delivery," Hanne remarked. "We randomly selected four former contestants – two countries from each team, and we have a special fifth judge who will be guest starring."
"I hope it's who I think it is," Calvin grinned from the front row.
"Time to introduce our judges," Carla said. "First things first, we had to disqualify Johannes because, let's face it, he's not exactly unbiased, but we do have…"
"Sanna."
The Danish girl wheeled her way in. She hadn't changed much, but she did sport some red lipstick for the occasion.
"Hi everyone," she said. "It's great to pass the torch onto the next generation. And Soren, I hope you win, even if you're a smug dick about it."
"Can do," Soren smirked.
"Eloise."
The French model walked in. Her hair was shorter and she looked a bit more muscular.
"Bonsoir," she greeted. "Looking forward to judging this event. Hope you all gave it your best shot."
She got applause, though not as much as Sanna.
[Confessional: Mon Dieu may or may not be a real French phrase depending on who you ask
Eloise (France): The last year has been great. I finally came home to my parents, and I've been doing a lot of hiking and church-based stuff. I need hobbies to keep my mind off lying about being raped and everything that came before.]
"Estrella."
Estrella blew a kiss as she walked in. Her hair was now dyed bright blue and she wore lipstick to match.
"Someone's got taste," Brook grinned.
"Hola," she greeted. "Ximo, win this!"
"És clar," Ximo replied, giving her the thumbs up.
"Shay."
Shay let out a sigh as he walked in and gave a polite wave. He had gained a bit of weight back but was far from obese. Nobody clapped as he walked in. Taras held up his right hand but his left hand pulled it down.
[Confessional: Computing until I realise fearmongering about Muslims generates more views
Estrella (Spain/Catalonia): It's a shame Beni isn't here too. But I'm also happy Rikard isn't here because he and Beni had a falling out that I'd rather not get into
Shay (Russia): [groans] This show ruined my life.]
"And finally our guest star judge. You all know and love him. It's…" Carla announced.
"Me!" Mirzo exclaimed as he walked in. His hair was shorter (though not as short as season 1) and he had gained some muscle back.
A few of the contestants clapped but Carla and Hanne did not look impressed.
"Where's Marios?" Carla hissed.
"Marios? I was told I was joining the cast," Mirzo replied innocently.
"Cut the crap. What did you do with him?" Carla frowned.
"I haven't seen him in a year. What are you on about?" Mirzo added.
Carla sighed, "I can't deal with this right now."
"In a turn of events, it looks like Mirzo is our guest judge!" Hanne announced.
"I hope Marios is okay," Sandrine said in concern.
"Now that that's out of the way, it's time to watch the film from Team Flanders," Carla said. "Their key words were aeroplane, mitten and summer."
Team Flanders all applauded as the film played on the projector.
'Sweaty Holiday' by Team Flanders
The film opened with a shot of Kees' model aeroplane dangling on a string in front of some crudely drawn clouds.
It faded to Ximo, who was dressed a pilot's outfit and holding a Frisbee like a steering wheel. He wore a curly black wig and fake beard.
Brook entered the scene and sat behind Ximo. They wore a winter jacket, a woolly hat, and a pair of mittens.
"Hola," Ximo greeted. "What brings you to Spain today?"
"I'm just in the middle of my winter holiday," Brook replied. "I'll do a lot of sight-seeing, visit some theme parks, go skiing…"
"Skiiing?" Ximo repeated.
"Yes. I booked a day trip to the Pyrenees," Brook told him.
"I suppose you could do it on one of the taller ones," Ximo shrugged. "We should be landing soon. Sit tight."
The projector faded back to the cardboard aeroplane, which was dropped nose-first onto the ground. (Explosion effects courtesy of Sandrine)
The next scene took place outside. Haleme, Stefanija and Sandrine hung out in the background, all dressed in summer clothes.
"Huh, it's warmer than I expected," Brook said as they trudged around, only to hold up their mittens. "But I better keep these on. There could be a snow-storm soon. Time to start sight-seeing!"
Brook looked left, and a paper castle popped up.
"Oh look, a castle!"
Another one popped up on the right.
"Look, another castle!"
The first castle disappeared and another one appeared in its place.
"This one has a moat. That so pretty!"
Another castle appeared on the right.
"I'm sure the Eiffel Tower is around here somewhere."
The next scene also took place outside.
Brook walked up to Robert, who was wearing a white shirt and a nametag.
"One ticket for the tea-cups, please," Brook said, handing Robert some play-money. Robert gave them a piece of paper and gestured them towards a small roundabout, where Ximo was already sitting. He was no longer wearing a wig, and he wore sunglasses and a t-shirt.
"Hi there, I'm Alex," Brook greeted.
"Fernando," Ximo replied, shaking her hand.
Brook huffed as they wiped sweat off their brow with their mittens.
"Maybe you should take those off. It is 30 degrees," Ximo advised them.
"But it's the middle of winter. I could get frost-bite," Brook protested.
The roundabout started to spin, and Brook and Ximo both held onto the railing.
"Weeee! This is fun!" Brook cheered.
"Sí," Ximo replied, throwing his hands in the air.
After a few seconds of spinning, Brook groaned, "Ugh?"
"Are you okay?" Ximo asked.
"Yes, I'm totally…bluh!" Brook turned their head to side and made vomiting noises. The camera faded to glop hitting the ground and splattering everywhere.
[Confessional: RIP the last Munchkin :'(
Kees (Netherlands): [has a plaster on his forehead] Stefanija and I were spinning it from underneath, and I [sighs] hit my head
Maeve (Ireland): What secondary school has a playground? Isn't that asking for trouble?]
Brook's face was dripping with sweat (actually water) as they dragged their feet towards Ximo, who was now wearing a blonde wig and a Santa Claus beard, and had his sweater back on. He was standing in front of some steps outside, which had a green rug drooped over it.
"H-hola," Brook huffed. "I-I…ugh."
They cleared their throat, "I'd like to go skiing. Can you take me?"
"Of course!" Ximo beamed. "We barely get visitors at this time of year. Right this way."
Brook gasped and wheezed as they followed Ximo from behind, taking three seconds with every step.
"Are you alright?" Ximo asked, only for Brook for collapse.
"Oh my gosh!" Ximo exclaimed, bending over and turning Brook onto their back. He felt for Brook's heartbeat.
"Jesus Christ, they're dead!" Ximo cried. He then stood up and shrugged, "Charles Darwin was right."
The screen faded to black, and the credits scrolled across the screen
Alex - Brook
Pilot/Fernando/Ski Instructor - Ximo
Script – Henrik, Brook, Ximo
Props and Special Effects – Kees, Sandrine
Camera – Stefanija, Róbert
Costumes – Yoana, Haleme
Editor – Samson
Everyone clapped once the film ended.
"And that was Team Flanders' film. We will give the judges a minute to write down their thoughts and scores before we move on to Team Wallonia's film!" Hanne announced.
The members of Team Flanders looked at each other, satisfied with the final product.
[Confessional: I wanna get away, get away
Sandrine (Switzerland): That turned out so well! My favourite part was when the plane crashed. It's one of my more basic explosions but I think it worked.
Ximo (Spain/Catalonia): We had to redo so many scenes because I accidentally said 'he' or 'she'. I'll get the hang of it eventually!
Calvin (United Kingdom): [squeaks] Charles Darwin was right.]
"Times up judges. We'll hear your scores and comments after we've seen both films!" Carla announced. "Next we have Team Wallonia's film. Their key words were island, tractor and paperclip."
Team Wallonia presents, 'An Englishman Escapes an Island Using a Tractor and a Paperclip'
The film began with a close-up shot of Calvin's face. It zoomed out to show that he was lying on a shag carpet with an inflatable palm tree.
"Wh-where the bloody hell am I?" Calvin asked in a fake English accent as he sat up and scratched his head.
The camera showed a panorama of the sky, and then went back to Calvin, who was now outside (though the camera was angled to hide the concrete ground)
Just then, Maeve came trudging over with a walking stick. She was wearing a long grey wig and wore a plaid shirt and ripped jeans.
"How's it goin'?" she greeted in an old-lady voice.
"Hello, ma'am," Calvin greeted.
"Oi, I have a name!" Maeve shouted, waving her walking stick around.
"Dearest apologies, what is your name?"
"Scary Irish Lady!" Maeve cried.
"Uh..nice to meet you, Scary Irish Lady. Do you happen to know where I am?" Calvin asked.
"I don't know," Maeve shrugged.
"What do you mean you don't know?" Calvin frowned.
"Long, long ago, I was a little girl, and me mammy told me to get some mackerel for supper. So I went out on me currach, when this huge ass wave came and knocked me out!" Maeve began to ramble. "I've been out here ever since."
"Good grief!" Calvin exclaimed. "I'll never get home. I'll never see my mummy and daddy again! Or my darling Elizabeth – she's 9 months pregnant! I'm stuck here forever!"
"Era, it's not so bad," Maeve assured him. "I never had to go back to school or get a job, and I can live on all the stupid fish who come to the shore. And all the lads who wash up here keep me company."
"You mean there's more people stuck out here?" Calvin gasped.
"Oh no, no," Maeve replied. "They got back to dry land safe and sound."
"You can get me out of here? Oh please, I beg you!" Calvin cried.
"Certainly," Maeve nodded. "Let me show you."
She grabbed Calvin by his arm and dragged him away.
They arrived at a cardboard tractor.
"What is this?" Calvin asked, slightly irritated.
"It's my magic tractor!" Maeve exclaimed, starting to dance around it.
"Your what?"
"My tractor. It has this magic ability to float on water – it's saved tons and tons of stranded folk before you."
"But…it's a tractor. It will sink!" Calvin protested.
"Didn't you hear me? It's a magic tractor. It worked before, it will work now!"
"But…no…how do you still have it if it's helped other people?" Calvin sighed.
"It's a MAGIC TRACTOR!" Maeve screeched at the top of her voice. "After it helps someone, it returns to me in order to help the next person."
"You are…I can't…I have nothing to lose," Calvin sighed.
"Good, just step in there," Maeve said as Calvin climbed in the side away from the camera.
"Where are the keys?" Calvin asked.
"There are no keys. Do you happen to have anything metal?"
"Hmm, let me see," Calvin replied, searching his pockets. "I do have this paper clip."
"That will do," Maeve shrugged. "Stick the paper-clip into the key hole, and push down hard on the clutch."
"This is crazy…oh blimey! It works! It works!" Calvin gasped.
"Of course it does. Now come on, into the sea," Maeve said, clapping her hands.
"Alrighty, alrighty," Calvin nodded slowly as the tractor slowly moved forward. (Sound effects provided by Tomas)
"I don't have all day, young man!" Maeve screamed.
Calvin suddenly found himself floating on top of waves of water. You could see some specks of green but it overall didn't look too bad.
"I'm floating! I'm floating!" Calvin cheered as he continued to move across the water. "Dry land! I can see dry land. Thank you Scary Irish Lady!"
The scene cut to Calvin and Raquel-Maria. She was in one of the beds in the girls' dorm.
"Oh Elizabeth, darling Elizabeth! I thought I would never see you again," Calvin sobbed as he hugged her tight. "I love you."
"I love you too, William," Raquel-Maria said sweetly in an equally fake English accent.
The two were about to lean in for a kiss when Isak said off-screen, "Madam, the baby is almost out."
Raquel-Maria let out a scream only for it to suddenly cut to credits.
Cast
William – Calvin Bransfield
Scary Irish Lady – Maeve McQuillen
Elizabeth – Raquel-Maria Carnacho
Crew
Director –Soren Rosdahl, Isak Rudberg,
Screenplay – Isak Rudberg, Ilana Smolenski
Prop master – Tomas Kelis, Taras Melinkoff
Sound effects - Tomas Kelis
Mounted Camera – Osvaldo Scarpelli
Moving Camera - Soren Rosdahl
Costume Design – Lidika Capek, Ebba Keter
Editor – Taras Melinkoff, Isak Rudberg
Once again, everyone clapped as soon as it faded to black.
"Crediting yourself three times. That's modest," Calvin remarked as he turned to Isak.
"Shut up," Isak snorted, giving him a nudge.
[Confessional: Behindthename is down at the worst possible time :-(
Os (Italy): Soren is a director, but I'm only credited as cameraman? Sure, he and Isak were giving most of the directions while I was mostly behind the tripod…okay, I get it now.
Tomas (Lithuania): [sighs] Yes, my last name is Kelis. If I had a dollar for every time someone sang [mimics] 'My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...']
"We've seen all the scenes, the judges have judged, it's time for the results!" Carla announced. "All the judges have already written down their scores so they can't cheat. We will start with Sanna. What do you give Team Flanders?"
"Team Flanders," Sanna repeated, looking over her score-sheet. "Your movie was hilarious. My favourite bit was the 'Charles Darwin' line at the end. I think Ximo's acting could have been a bit better but no complaints other than that – 7."
Most of Team Flanders looked reasonably satisfied with that.
"What about Team Wallonia?" Hanne asked.
"Team Wallonia – that was amazing!" Sanna exclaimed. "I was laughing from start to finish. You all acted it really well. I'm only taking one mark off because the effects weren't great – 9 out of 10."
Team Wallonia all cheered at this.
"Good start for Team Wallonia, but there's four judges to go. Shay, what did you think of the second film from Team Wallonia?"
"The second film," Shay nodded. "I agree with Sanna. It was pretty funny. The bit at the end where Raquel-Maria screamed was a highlight. 8."
"And Team Flanders?"
Shay shrugged, "It was okay. Didn't really laugh out loud at any of it. 6."
Team Flanders sighed at this.
"So far Team Wallonia have 17 points, and Team Flanders have 13," Hanne said. "Estrella. What did you think of Team Flanders?"
"Loved it. Was laughing from start to finish. I don't care what Sanna said, Ximo is a great actor!" Estrella exclaimed. "9."
Ximo grinned at this.
"And for Team Wallonia?"
"Good, not great," Estrella shrugged. "6."
"Oh come on, she's totally biased!" Calvin protested.
"Hush," Carla said to him. "Now there's a one-point difference, with Team Wallonia still maintaining their lead."
Henrik had his eyes shut and his fingers crossed.
"Eloise, what did you think of the second film from Team Wallonia?" Hanne asked.
"I found it really funny," Eloise said. "Best line without a doubt was Maeve saying 'My name is Scary Irish Lady'. Calvin may have been the lead but she was the real star. 8."
Team Wallonia all clapped. Maeve in particular looked pleased with this.
"And the first film – Team Flanders?"
"Yes, yes," Eloise nodded. "I didn't really like it. Watching someone suffocate made me feel a bit nauseous. Some of it was funny but not enough. 4."
"Aw," most of Team Flanders said in unison.
"The score is now Flanders 26 against Wallonia 31," Hanne said. "It's all down our…"
She sighed.
"…guest judge, Mirzo!"
"Finally," Mirzo said. "Who do you want me to start with?"
"Team Flanders, please," Carla said.
Mirzo sighed, "I hated it. I found the plot stupid and none of it was funny. I wanted to shout 'Take off your coat! Take off your coat!' It was frustrating. 2."
Groans and murmuring followed in response.
"Hold it just a second!" Hanne shouted. "And what do you give Team Wallonia?"
"It was kind of silly, but otherwise not too bad. 6," Mirzo replied.
"The final score is 28-37, which means Team Wallonia win for the second time in a row!"
Team Wallonia all burst into applause. Taras and Tomas double high-fived, Maeve and Raquel-Maria hugged each other, and Isak and Calvin shared a smug fist-bump.
"As for Team Flanders, you will be sending another person home. The ceremony takes place at 21 hours. And Team Wallonia, don't forget to give us your predictions."
Henrik shook his head at this revelation.
[Confessional: It takes to, too, two
Tomas (Lithuania): My prediction is that freakshow from Australia. I don't know how he made it through yesterday but there's no way he'll make it again
Taras (Russia): Stefanija. Please God, Stefanija. Nobody smears Russians and gets away with it
Confessional: Yes they can. Give it a few months
Lidika (Poland): I don't really pay attention to the other team. I'll pick Robert. He's a creep from what I've heard.
Raquel-Maria (Portugal): Who will leave next? Heck if I know. I'll just close my eyes and pick…
[she closes her eyes and runs her finger over the voting sheet] Stefanija it is
Ebba (Germany): I noticed Henrik and Yoana arguing this morning, so likely one of them. Henrik seems a bit stuck-up so I'll pick him.
Ilana (Israel): I don't know. Which one said his parents were dead?
[looks over the sheet] This guy, Ex-emo. He could be an orphan.
Maeve (Ireland): Robert [shudders]
Os (Italy): That Robert guy is freaky. I can't imagine he'll last long
Calvin (United Kingdom): Might be an unusual choice but I pick Samson. He's quiet and stays in the background, so he could be a target.
Isak (Sweden): I vote for Ximo. Sanna said his acting wasn't great and people are going to find any reason to vote someone off.
Soren (Denmark): Haleme is the one with the oranges, right? Yes, she has early boot written all over her.]
Brook swung their arms as they entered the boys' dorm of Team Flanders.
"Robert, I am not dealing with this any longer!" Henrik shouted, wagging his finger at the Hungarian. He was at least a head taller than him so it looked like a father scolding a child.
"Ugh, you are so self-righteous!" Robert screamed at him, before stomping off. He didn't even look at Brook as he went past.
"Is he okay?" Brook asked.
"Yes, he's just throwing a tantrum," Henrik sighed, rolling his eyes.
"You don't have to patronise him," Kees frowned, sitting at the end of his bed.
"What's going on?" Brook asked.
"Robert showed me this recording of Stefanija making all these racist remarks," Kees explained.
"Oh my. What kind of stuff?" Brook asked in concern.
"Let's see, she said that Western Europe destroyed loads of cultures, and she finds it funny how they're being 'cucked' by Muslim immigrants. She said that only Switzerland sent a real French person and called Vendredi a camel…or something."
"A frumpy camel," Samson piped up. Henrik rolled his eyes at this.
"Jesus…Stefanija said all that?" Brook gasped.
"I don't think she did," Henrik said. "I think it was Yoana pretending to be Stefanija. She almost got voted off last time, and now she's using Stefanija to…you know…take the blame."
"As a scapegoat," Brook phrased it, and Henrik nodded.
"It sounded like Stefanija," Kees protested.
"Yoana could be good at impressions," Henrik shrugged. "I'm voting her off and that's final."
He headed for the bathroom and Kees and Ximo looked at each other.
"I'm going to talk to the girls," Brook said, and he headed for the door.
"What should we do?" Kees asked Ximo.
"I don't know," Ximo sighed. "You convinced me that Stefanija was the racist, but Henrik did, kind of, make sense."
"But the recording sounded serious," Kees said. "And if it was Yoana, then they would have had to stop every time someone laughed or hesitated. Where would they have found the time?"
"That's a good point," Ximo nodded as he stroked his beard.
"I'm going to stick with Stefanija," Kees said. "It just seems more plausible."
"Okay. I'll trust you on this, since you're my friend," Ximo smiled. "But I think we should give 2 to Yoana just in case."
"I can deal with that," Kees replied.
[Confessional: We built a house on a rock
Samson (Belgium): [groans] I can't deal with all this drama. I'm going to vote for Yoana. The recording was convincing but Henrik's my friend so I may as well side with him.]
In the girls' side of Team Flanders, Haleme, Sandrine and Stefanija were chatting in a clump, while Yoana lay on her bed playing some sort of funeral song on her violin.
"I'll be right back. I have business to do," Stefanija said, and she got up and walked to the bathroom.
"Phew, the coast is clear," Yoana smirked. She got up and made her way out.
"I don't know what to do," Sandrine groaned.
"Me neither," Haleme agreed, shaking her head.
"What's up, girls?" Brook greeted as they skipped into the room, and then stood against the wall.
Sandrine gestured for her to come closer.
"We need to tell you something," she said.
"Is this about the recording?" Brook asked.
"Yes. Do you know about it?" Haleme asked.
"Henrik and Kees gave me all the details," Brook sighed.
"We don't know whose side to take," Sandrine admitted. "We've both heard the recording, but Henrik is right. It's too convenient."
"I'd rather get involved at all," Brook stated. "I'm voting Henrik off."
"Why him?" Sandrine asked uncertainly.
"I feel like he screwed up," Brook explained. "He was leader in name only. Ximo and I had most of the ideas."
"Hmm," Haleme said thoughtfully.
"I think that's the worst thing we could do," Sandrine said. "Keeping both of them would be worse than getting rid of one of them. At least then the drama would end."
"It wouldn't though," Brook pointed out. "I was just in the boys' dorm, and Robert and Henrik were yelling at each other."
"Should we vote one of them off then?" Haleme asked. "They're the ones being the most open about it."
"I think being low-key is worse," Sandrine said. "At least if…"
She was interrupted when Stefanija came back out.
"Hello, Brook," Stefanija greeted. "What are we talking about now?"
"Oh, you know…" Haleme replied nervously.
"The challenge was a lot of fun, even though we lost," Sandrine interrupted suddenly.
"You can say that again," Stefanija agreed. "I liked getting to hang out with Robert."
"Robert scares me," Brook admitted.
"Yeah, he sort of scared me too, but he's actually pretty awesome," Stefanija replied. "He's a fellow Croat like me."
"Oh, really?" Sandrine asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, he said his mother and father moved to Romania before they died," Stefanija explained. "So, what was it like? You and Kees doing props?"
"That was pretty fun," Sandrine replied. "Kees put so much work into the aeroplane…"
[Confessional: To be fair, the deadline was short and he has a full time job
Sandrine (Switzerland): [her mouth is shut tight, but she is screaming relentlessly]
Stefanija (Croatia): I wonder where Yoana went. Oh well, we can catch up after the ceremony. Though I'm worried she won't get through this time.]
Yoana walked outside the dorm to see Robert sitting on the steps.
"Hey girl," she greeted, sitting down beside him. "Why the long face?"
"Henrik is being so unreasonable," Robert growled.
"What happened?"
"I recorded Stefanija being racist, and I showed it to Kees and Sandrine, and Henrik thinks it was you pretending to be her," Robert sighed.
"You did what?" Yoana gasped. "You've been telling people about what I told you?"
"Yes. Do you have a problem with that?" Robert asked in confusion.
"Of course! Snitching is the worst thing you could do. Great, now everyone thinks I'm trying to frame her," Yoana groaned. "I didn't ask you to be my knight in shining armour."
"What the…" Robert's confusion turned to anger. "Why are you making this about you?"
Yoana looked taken aback, "Well, I just thought you were…you know…trying to impress me."
"Excuse me!?" Robert snapped, standing up. "You think I did this all for you!?"
"I…I guess that's what I just said…" Yoana said hesitantly.
"How are you the victim in any way?" Robert growled. "She looooves Bulgarians! Hungarians like me are the scum of the Earth. She made things personal. That's why I did all this!"
Yoana's mouth dropped open. She was at a loss for words. "Y-you're right. I shouldn't have said that. I feel stupid."
"No," Robert said, sitting back down beside her. "You're not stupid."
Yoana hung her head and put her arm around Robert's shoulders.
"Woah, you don't have to get dramatic," Robert chuckled. "Or you can, I suppose."
He pulled her in tighter, "It's okay. And…I promise that you'll still be here in an hour from now."
"Thanks," Yoana muttered.
[Confessional: Her throne was wobbled
Yoana (Bulgaria): [sniffs] I'm such a bitch. I shouldn't have accused Robert of just trying to win me over. It just came to mind after what we talked about last night…
Robert (Romania): I will admit, if it was the other way around and Yoana was a nationality that Stefanija hated, I would have done the same thing. Maybe I was trying to impress her at first…but the stuff Stefanija said was so horrible that I forgot all that.
3 points to Stefanija, 2 to Henrik, and…1 to Sampson. All he does is follow Henrik around!]
The ten members of Team Flanders sat at two of the tables in the hall. Kees, Ximo, Robert, Yoana and Brook on the left, and Henrik, Samson, Sandrine, Haleme and Stefanija on the right.
"Contestants, there are nine marshmallows on this plate!" Carla announced. "When I call your name, take a marshmallow. The person with the most votes will not receive a marshmallow and is out of the contest. Only one person did not receive any votes tonight…"
…
"Haleme."
…
"Yay!" Haleme squealed as she stood up to collect the first marshmallow. Soren couldn't help but groan at this.
…
"Sandrine."
…
"Ximo."
…
"Kees."
…
"Brook."
…
"Robert."
…
"Samson."
…
The trans-guy smiled as he stood up, though he showed concern for Henrik, who was still sitting down. The Icelander looked reasonably calm, though that changed when the next name was called out.
"Yoana."
The Bulgarian girl gasped in shock.
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed as she stood up and grabbed the second last marshmallow.
"This is the last marshmallow!" Hanne announced as Carla held it before Henrik and Stefanija. "Tonight's vote was…near unanimous. Seriously, this has been the biggest landslide since season 1."
Robert and Yoana both smirked at this.
"The last marshmallow goes to…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"Henrik."
Henrik took a deep breath of relief after his name was called out.
"Nice one," Samson smiled as Henrik stood beside him. He had a troubled look on his face as he ate his marshmallow.
"Sorry, Stefanija, you're out," Hanne said.
"Damn. I guess it had to be someone," Stefanija sighed as she got up from the table. "Goodbye everyone."
She walked over to Yoana and gave her a tight hug, "I'm going to miss you so much!"
Yoana slapped her on the back several times until she let go.
Next, Stefanija went over to Robert, and put her hands on his shoulders.
"Promise you'll win this for us Croats," she grinned.
"I'm not Croatian," Robert smirked. "I'm Hungarian."
"What!?" Stefanija shouted, taking the rest of the team by alarm. "You tricked me!"
"You did this to yourself," Robert growled.
"I should have known. Hungarians are always trying to target Croatians in this game," Stefanija snarled. "Just like Dani did to Alma."
Henrik's mouth had dropped open.
"Just get out of here," Yoana said, rolling her eyes.
"Bye," Stefanija snapped, grabbing the suitcase that Tia brought over and marching out of the automatic doors.
"And that's that!" Carla announced. "The rest of you are safe. Head back to your dorms."
The two teams headed their separate ways.
Henrik caught up Robert, "You were right. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Robert assured him. "She was pretty unbelievable."
Suddenly, a faint screaming could be heard, "Mmmmm! Mmmmm-mmmm!" Most of the contestants stopped in their tracks.
"What is that?" Haleme asked.
"Oh no. I'll bet it's…" Sandrine replied.
"It's coming from one of the closets!" Hanne exclaimed.
A few of the contestants ran over to open them, but it was Isak who hit the jackpot.
"Marios!?" he gasped in shock.
The former Greek contestant wiggled his way out. There was duct-tape over his mouth and more wrapped around his arms and legs.
"How did this happen?" Kees asked.
Everyone turned around to see Hanne stomping off, "MIRZO!"
[Confessional: Predictable, yet suspenseful
Raquel-Maria (Portugal): Yes! I got it right! Not trying works again.
Taras (Russia): Finally, that little witch is gone!
Ebba (Germany): [shrugs] Henrik was in the bottom 2. I was close enough
Sandrine (Switzerland): I really wasn't sure what to do...until Stefanija told us that she thought Robert was Croatian. That's when we realised that without a doubt that the recording was real
Kees (Netherlands): [scratches his hair] Yeah, Sandrine told me what Stefanija said. Robert actually recorded her.
Henrik (Iceland): [sighs] I feel awful now. I actually yelled at Robert because of all this.]
Votes –
(^ denotes the contestant they predicted would get eliminated)
Brook –
3pts – Henrik
2pts – Stefanija^
1pt – Yoana
Henrik –
3pts – Yoana^
2pts – Robert
1pt – Sandrine
Haleme –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Henrik
1pt – Yoana
Kees –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Brook
1pt – Henrik
Robert –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Henrik
1pt – Samson
Sandrine –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Brook
1pt – Samson
Samson –
3pts – Yoana
2pts – Robert
1pt – Stefanija^
Stefanija –
3pts – Samson^
2pts – Kees
1pt – Ximo
Ximo –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Yoana
1pt – Robert
Yoana –
3pts – Stefanija^
2pts – Henrik
1pt – Brook
Stefanija – 21pts
Henrik – 12pts
Yoana – 10pts
Samson – 5pts
Robert – 5pts
Brook – 3pts
Kees – 2pts
Ximo – 1pt
Sandrine – 1pt
Nul points – Haleme
Predictions –
Calvin: Samson
Ebba: Henrik
Ilana: Ximo
Isak: Ximo
Lidika: Robert
Maeve: Robert
Os: Robert
Raquel-Maria: Stefanija
Soren: Haleme
Taras: Stefanija
Tomas: Brook
Immunity progress chart (3 in a row for solo immunity)
1 – Brook, Haleme, Kees, Raquel-Maria, Robert, Samson, Sandrine, Taras, Ximo, Yoana
0 – Calvin, Ebba, Henrik, Ilana, Isak, Lidika, Maeve, Os, Soren, Tomas
And Stefanija is the next to leave.
She was a very experimental character. I wanted to make a character who was mostly normal, but had racist tendencies and mostly kept it low-key. She's a parody of the sorts of people I would come across while exploring the comments section of political/mapping videos when I was 12-14. Unfortunately for her, she befriended the wrong people and her true nature got out way too soon.
I think she would have lasted a lot longer if she had been on Team Wallonia, since Lidika (another Slav) would have been much more likely to tolerate her remarks in order to gain an ally.
Review whatever your opinion and I will see you in...probably October let's face it :\