A/N for 2019-06-20: A bevy of thanks to my beta Eeyorefan12 for the many hours she puts into editing this story.
The scene with the woman at the daycare actually happened to me last year. It was cathartic to write it out here!
It means a lot to hear your thoughts in response to this tale.
~ Erin
Not for the first time, Bella wondered what Mrs. Cho's neighbours thought. Or the people walking their dog, passing by the fence. Or anyone whose route took them by the unassuming little house at this early and sunny hour of the morning.
"NO!" Joshua shrieked, pulling at his jacket while attempting to kick off his shoes. "NO!" He punctuated this by rocking his stiff body back and forth in Bella's arms.
"I know, I know," she said quietly. "We can take off your jacket inside."
"NO!" he answered, still fighting her hold, his clothes, and the direction they were moving in.
Meredith waited calmly by the gate, kicking at the dandelions sprouting in the grass.
Sweating from the effort, Bella hoisted Josh up closer to her shoulder.
Mrs. Cho was waiting, lollipop in hand.
"Hi Josh!" she said.
"NO!" Josh roared back to her.
She held the lollipop up higher, so he could see it.
Josh kept screaming his singular word.
Meredith skipped ahead to the toys in the room off the entranceway. Bella deposited Josh on the tile floor as gently as possible. "Do you want me to take your jacket off?" she asked, aiming for a calm tone, but keeping her voice loud enough to be heard over his screaming.
"OFF!" he choked out, crying.
Once he was free of the jacket, he turned over, sobs making his little body shake. Then he uttered a hoarse, "Man."
Bella sighed. She'd hoped to see Edward before work, but he had called to let her know he had roamed a bit further than he'd planned, following a lead on Victoria with Jasper. The trail had dissolved at the water, leaving them far from home, and far from where he wanted to be—by her side. At the time, she'd told Edward that she had everything in hand. And she had . . . then. "We'll see Man later, okay?"
The sobs only intensified.
"Go," Mrs. Cho said, smiling, rubbing his back, "S'okay. He be okay."
Bella had every confidence in Mrs. Cho. Normally her children were happy to arrive at her home and sad to leave, but some days there was no convincing Josh of arriving in anything but a distressed fit.
Nodding, she blew Meredith a kiss, and then said to both of them, "I love you. See you later." As she closed the door behind her, she took a deep breath, telling herself that her children would be fine.
They would be fine. More importantly, they would be safe.
Glancing around, she wondered where her current bodyguards were keeping themselves. She'd have to ask them later. The day's clear skies meant they would need to be carefully concealed.
At the gate, a woman had paused, cigarette dangling, eyeing Bella. When she went to walk past the stranger, the woman mumbled something.
"Pardon?" Bella asked, patting her pockets, wondering if she'd dropped something.
"That make you proud?" the woman repeated.
With a sinking feeling in her stomach, Bella asked, "Does what make me proud?"
"Dragging your child in there like that?"
The air hissed in through Bella's lungs along with a vibrant wave of anger. She stared at the woman, who took another drag of her cigarette, and stared right back.
Bella considered, in this tense moment, the many different words she could use to answer this woman.
But you are a teacher, the voice of reason said, and those words could get you in big trouble. You're also a mother, and your children might be watching.
And finally-you still have a file with the Ministry for Children and Family Development. It was this last point that made her reach for one of the many coping mechanisms she had been taught.
Taking a deep breath and then slowly letting it out, Bella growled out, "You don't know anything about my life or my children," and then walked quickly back to her car.
Once inside, she watched the woman move away, and then burst into tears.
"Fuck," she muttered, punching the seat with her good hand. "Fucking judgemental people."
These gratifying words dispensed with, she wiped her eyes, jammed the key in the ignition, and began her drive to work.
She was late.
And there had been a staff meeting. In her distraught rush from the building on Friday, she hadn't checked her letterbox.
She kept her epithets to herself, grabbed the agenda for the missed meeting from her mailbox and hurried to class.
The final bell rang as she got to the door. Letting the students in, she chucked her jacket and bag on the desk and began scribbling the agenda on the board.
"Rushed morning, Bella?" A female voice asked.
Turning around, Bella saw the vice principal, Lisa Murdoch, standing in the doorway. The woman was dressed in her customary three-inch heels, navy skirt suit, and pound of fake pearls. It was early, so the woman's makeup hadn't begun to crack. Yet.
"Uh, hi," Bella all but stammered, startled by the woman's sudden appearance. "Yeah. A bit."
"Mm," Lisa said. She dusted something invisible off of her immaculate jacket before fixing Bella with a cool stare. "I know you're new. Perhaps you aren't aware that staff meetings are mandatory?"
"My apologies. I do know they're mandatory, I just wasn't aware of the one today. I'm normally in earlier, but this morning was a bit busy at home."
"Kids?"
"Yes," Bella sighed, hoping she'd understand.
"Ah." Lisa pressed her lips together in a semblance of a smile but it was more predatory than warm. "I raised two on my own. I know how tough it is, but it's no excuse not to do your job."
Bella's stomach lurched, first in consternation at the reprimand, then in apprehension.
"Can we speak privately, for a moment?" Lisa asked.
Eyeing her students, who were pulling out books and starting to read the assigned pages listed on the board, Bella nodded, following the vice principal reluctantly into the hall. The door to the outside had been propped open for some reason, and Bella shivered, curling her arms around herself.
"You're new to the profession here, yes?"
"Not really, no," Bella said, a little defensively.
"Then you understand you're a role model in the community."
A fresh wave of nausea rippled through her, adding to her growing unease.
"I do," she said carefully.
"Good. Perhaps, then, you can explain to me why you were engaged in . . ." Lisa pursed her lips as she seemed to search for words before continuing, ". . . a very public display of affection during your class on Friday afternoon?"
The colour flamed up Bella's cheeks.
Shit.
Scrambling for an explanation, Bella almost didn't register Grant's voice behind her. "Morning."
"In the middle of something here, Mr. Wilson," Lisa snapped.
"I can tell," Grant said, coming over. From the set of his jaw, Bella knew his folded arms had nothing to do with the morning chill.
Please don't make this worse, she thought.
"Are you addressing concerns about Ms. Hamilton's performance or conduct?" he asked.
"This is a private conversation," Lisa said, her jaw tight.
"It's in the middle of the hallway, so it's hardly private. Have you informed her of her right to have a staff rep present?" he asked evenly.
"We're just having a chat, aren't we, Bella?"
Bella looked at Lisa, who was watching her expectantly, then at Grant, saying nothing. Was the man throwing her a lifeline?
"If she's criticizing your performance or work in any way, then you have the right to have a staff rep with you," Grant said. If there was judgement in his tone, Bella realized with relief that it wasn't directed at her.
"Then I'd like one," Bella said.
"Good, you got one." He pointed his thumbs to his chest. "Go on, Lisa, you were saying?" He raised his brows in mock innocence as he looked at her.
"You were engaged in an inappropriate display of affection at your place of work. In front of minors."
Grant snorted. "Is that what you call it, Lisa?"
"I'm sure you'll call it something else." Her mouth formed into a thin sneer.
"Yeah, I would. Someone walked into the building and assaulted a staff member. Of course, even if they hadn't, kissing someone is hardly immoral behaviour." He turned to Bella. "Has she gone through your health and safety orientation yet?"
"My what?" Bella asked, gobsmacked by his defense.
"Health and safety. Orientation. Lisa's department."
Bella couldn't remember anything about an orientation. "No, I don't think so."
"We have a two month grace period on those, and you know it." Lisa said petulantly.
"I do," Grant smiled. "Which is why you can't fault Bella for not reporting this intruder, because you haven't reviewed the safety procedures with her."
Feeling like she was dodging a bullet, Bella leaned away from the two of them, watching the very polite, but unmistakable acrimony unfold. Neither of them raised their voices, but the air was thick with their animosity.
Lisa ended it by turning back to Bella, and uttering another, "Staff meetings are mandatory. Every second Monday of the month."
Bella accepted this silently, watching her march away, the clack of her heels marking an impressive pace for the restrictive circumference of her skirt.
"Steer clear of her and always get a staff rep if she insists on talking to you," Grant said.
"Thank you," Bella said. "I appreciate the help. A lot."
"It's what I do," he said, shrugging. "And it's why we have a union: making sure prima donnas like that don't haul people over the coals wily nily." He paused, putting his hand in his hair. "I was really rude on Friday. I'm sorry. I didn't even think to check that you were okay."
"I am, and I was." Oh God, how did she explain this? "He was an ex—"
A loud crash made Grant gasp, blurt out, "Shoot—sorry, gotta run," and then turn and bolt back into his classroom. His voice boomed out rapid instructions to the students there.
Their conversation over for now, Bella moved back to her own class where, bless her students, they were still reading quietly.
Then she turned to face the board, where someone had stuck a printout of a picture. Of her and Edward. Kissing. Drawn around it was an ornate pink chalk heart.
That's a really nice picture, she thought. And it's the only one I have of the two of us.
She stared at it for a bit, and then, tired enough of being the butt end of Monday's jokes, walked up to the board and added a large, block letter, "MWAH!" above the heart.
A few snickers erupted from the front row, and then some full belly laughs from the back. Bella let her own chuckle join her students' and then told them to pull out their notebooks.
- 0 -
Grant disappeared somewhere at lunch, and left right at the bell after last period.
She was disappointed, for sure. She'd really hoped she could at least explain, and that they could be friendly colleagues, if not true friends.
"Tomorrow," she mumbled, sifting through her paperwork.
Rounding the corner to the parking lot, she was fishing in her purse, searching for her keys, when she looked up to find Edward leaning against her car. When their eyes met, she was rewarded with his genuine grin, and as she got closer, a very welcome embrace. This morphed into an even better kiss, a pleasant lightheadedness washing over her as her blood forgot how to circulate for a few moments.
"Hi," he said softly.
"Hi yourself," she sighed back, not letting go of him.
It was rest, and joy, and thrill to be in his arms.
"Long day?"
"You could say that." She pulled away reluctantly.
"Maybe I can drive? You can tell me about it?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes, playfully landing a soft punch on his arm. "Love my Honda that much, eh?"
He obeyed the speed limit as he drove them to the daycare. She wasn't sure if it was because they were in the city, or because it would make her nauseous if he did otherwise. She told him about her day.
Edward's head turned abruptly toward her when she mentioned the photo, which she'd tucked in her purse. She felt herself flinch a little.. She should have remembered that photos were a problem.
"Don't worry about it," he said, squeezing her fingers. "Some pictures are inevitable these days."
After picking up the children from daycare, where Josh greeted Edward with a rare but fierce hug around the neck, they arrived back at home. The kids wandered off to play as Bella followed Edward into the kitchen but he immediately waved her off. "Go sit. Better yet, put your feet up."
Bella laughed. "What, you're making dinner?"
He glanced around, as if checking for little ears before pointing a wooden spoon at her. "Supernatural ability and the food network can't go wrong."
Bella thought otherwise, but pressed her lips together, and sat down at the table. She put her feet up on one of the chairs and decided that sitting felt very nice indeed.
Ingredients she didn't recognize were appearing on the island. "Did you go shopping?" she asked incredulously.
He didn't say anything, but his self-satisfied smile was impossible to miss as he started to chop up some vegetables.
She watched him as she mulled over her day and listened to Josh and Meredith, who were looking for Bubbles. She was pretty sure she'd let the big black cat outside when they left for daycare that morning, but she wasn't quite sure. Cursing her pregnancy-addled memory, she got up, rifling through the large pantry cabinet behind her.
"I'm sorry, I didn't consider that you might need a snack before dinner. Can I get you something?" Edward asked.
"No, I'm looking for the cat treats. I can't remember if Bubbles went outside. I was going to see if I could call her in."
There was a moment of silence before he spoke. "She won't come, Bella."
At his pronouncement, she turned to look at him.
"Why not?"
"Animals run from us, with good reason." He paused to let her consider this and frowned a little. "She must have been stressed of late with our being so close. Surely you'd seen something of that?"
Crud. She'd thought the cat had been disturbed by having other people in the house. She hadn't considered the effect of vampires on the family pet. "Right," she sighed, sitting back down. "I'll . . . " The words trailed off.
"What?" Edward asked, his eyes still focused on her, but continuing to chop without looking at what he was doing. Mesmerized, she watched him work for a moment before realizing he was waiting for a response.
.She met his gaze directly. "Well, I was wondering when I could get the cat to come back inside."
There. She'd found the nerve to bring it up. She had been thinking about this related topic since they'd spoken the day before. What would it look like, their being together? His presence had been almost constant since Friday, and if he really was going to stay—she sucked in a breath, just thinking of that—they should talk about logistics.
"Right," Edward said. "I can find her and bring her back, if you want, but I have to warn you, she'll be upset."
A small smile crept up her face. He was such a pragmatist. "I wasn't really talking about the cat."
She watched the realization blossom on his face. "Ah." He put the knife down, and wiped off his hands before he came to sit beside her. He took her hand in his. "What were you thinking?"
"I'm wondering what this will look like, how it will work, because I honestly don't know. I mean, I'm assuming you're going to be around, or at least I'm hoping you will, but I'm not sure—" her glance stole towards the living room, where she saw both Mer and Josh looking under the couch, still calling for the cat.
The phone rang, making Bella start a little.
"I got it!" Mer yelled.
"Wait," Bella called, moving to stand, but Mer had already picked up the handset.
"Hamilton residence," she chirped politely.
"Charlie," Edward mouthed to Bella.
"Hi Grandpa!" Mer squeaked from the living room. Then, "Mommy, it's Grandpa!"
"Press the speaker button, please, Mer." Bella called out and Charlie's voice filled the room.
"Hey kiddo, how're you doin'?" Charlie asked.
"Good! Josh and I are looking for Bubbles."
"Oh yeah? Well, I'm sure you'll find her. What else is new?"
Meredith needed little encouragement to talk. She seemed to naturally compensate for her brother's taciturn nature. "Alice and I are making a dress for me!"
"Alice, huh. One of your preschool friends?"
"No, Edward's sister."
Bella closed her eyes, and cringed. This was not how she wanted Charlie to hear about this. Edward gave her hand a little squeeze of what she took as encouragement.
Charlie was silent for a moment. "Making a dress. That sounds like a big project for a four-year-old."
"Yeah, but she's teaching me. And I'm almost five. It's gonna be ready for my birthday party."
"That's right, that's coming up soon."
"Two weeks!" she squealed.
"Your mom planned that yet?"
"No, but we're going to send invitations this week. You're invited, Grandpa."
"Oh good," he said, with just a little less than the expected enthusiasm. A small-enough deficit to remain unnoticed by a near five-year old, anyway.
"Maybe I can talk to your mom?"
"Okay!" Meredith said, running into the kitchen.
As Mer handed the phone to Bella, she asked, "Edward, can I have a cookie?"
Bella turned off the speaker and walked out of the kitchen, throwing Edward an apologetic look. She knew she'd have no privacy from Edward, but she wanted, as much as possible, to be alone for what was coming. "Hi Dad," she said, closing the guest room door behind her.
"Hi yourself," he said. "Did I hear that correctly? Alice and Edward?"
"Yes."
She heard him huff out a breath, and gritted her teeth, waiting for whatever was coming.
"You okay, honey?"
The relief was followed by a surge of guilt. "Yeah," she husked out, blinking back tears. "I am. I'm actually . . . better." She'd expected anger and judgement, and a string of warnings. Not his concern. She chastised herself for doubting him. He'd been there through her worst times.
"Good." It was a sigh. "You seeing your psychiatrist?"
Another piece of guilt twisted her stomach. Technically, she was, but she'd rescheduled her last appointment. "Yes."
He either bought it, or was being selective with his battles. "Edward's there right now?"
"Yes."
"I'm guessing not in a medical capacity."
It was like being shrunk back to her teenage self. She cleared her throat. "No. We're seeing one another."
She didn't catch what he muttered, but she doubted it was flattering of Edward.
Figuring she might as well tell him everything, she rushed out the next words. "There's something else I need to tell you, Dad."
"Oh?" His voice cracked over the syllable.
"I'm three months pregnant."
Silence.
Finally, he spoke, a choked and querying, "Congratulations?"
She chuckled. "Matt would be happy. He'd always wanted more—"
Then she realized what Charlie must have been thinking.
He'd been counting.
"Dad, get your head on straight."
He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I got it. Sorry, I'm just—you and Edward. It's thrown me."
"You and me both."
"How . . . uh, long?"
"Friday."
His exhale made the phone vibrate with static. "Bella, I love you, so please hear me out. You've been through a lot, and a lot of it pretty recently. You're pregnant, and things must feel—"
"There's no ambiguity about how I feel about Edward, Dad. There never was. I know you have . . . strong feelings about him because he left—"
Charlie's snort interrupted her. "Strong feelings," he mumbled.
"I still love him, Dad."
His reaction to that wasn't audible but Bella pictured him rolling his eyes during the silence that followed. She waited for him to break it.
"He, uh, know about the baby? Of course, he does." Charlie asked and answered his own question as he mumbled something about Edward being her doctor and wasn't that convenient.
She ignored the background commentary. "He does."
"And he's okay with it? With all of that? Another man's kids and all . . ."
"Are you coming to Mer's birthday party?" It was the first thing she could think of to cut off Charlie's line of questioning. Things were too new between her and Edward and she wasn't sure she had answers for her father yet.
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." Her Dad could be very perceptive when he chose to be.
The conversation slipped into more normal realms then, encompassing subjects such as preferred colours, ponies, and aromatic felt-tip markers.
When Bella emerged from the guest room after taking a few minutes to breathe, she noticed the appetizing aroma emanating from the kitchen and found Edward on the floor with Josh. They were running cars down a short two-by-four angled against the couch. "See, the car goes," Edward said quietly.
His little face squished together in concentration, Josh produced two awkwardly consecutive words. "Car . . . goes."
Slapping her hand to her mouth, Bella held in her tears. Just.
"That's right," Edward said, smiling, getting up. "I'll come back in a bit, okay?"
Nodding enthusiastically, Josh returned to running his car down the piece of wood.
"He talked," she whispered to Edward. "He actually said two words together." Now the tears were streaming freely.
Edward smiled, cupping her face with his hands and brushing away her tears with gentle strokes of his thumbs. Then he pulled her into a hug.
"That went okay?" he asked.
"Well, he wasn't here to try and shoot you," she mumbled into his shirt.
Laughing, Edward kissed the top of her head. "We all have our different measures of success."
Tilting her head back, and looking at Edward, Bella couldn't find a measure with which to quantify the rightness she felt with him. It wasn't simple, but it was good, and for now, it was enough.