The First Spell

Tom arrives early enough to get a compartment all to himself. He sits next to the window and props Flamel's biography, The Alchemy of Life, open on his lap. He skips the first twenty chapters until he reaches his favourite: Mentoring the Dauntless Dumbledore. Tom knows the chapter by heart, but will never get tired of re-reading it.

One day, when Professor Dumbledore's biography comes out, there will be a chapter on how he mentored the Relentless Riddle.

His fantasizing of him and his Professor dauntlessly and relentlessly pursuing their enemies gets interrupted by a pointy blond kid opening the door. He strolls in like he owns the place, followed by four other boys that look to be about his age. Tom can tell they're rich at first glance – they move and talk and laugh all unlike him.

"Ugh, a mudblood, isn't it?" one of them says.

It's a mean word, Tom knows. He's heard it thrown at him around Diagon Alley.

"Hey, you," calls another one, "scram."

Tom raises his head and concentrates very hard on getting his eyes to twinkle. It either doesn't work, or the dim-witted kids have never met his future mentor, the greatest wizard alive, and don't recognize the warning.

"Kid's not too bright," blond and pointy says. "Bet you he'll end up in Hufflepuff."

Now, that's offensive.

"I'll be a Gryffindor," Tom declares proudly, "like Professor Dumbledore."

Pointy snorts.

"Of course you'd want to be like that mudblood-loving murtlap."

Tom's doesn't mind being a mudblood if that means he's loved by his Professor. But murtlap? Unforgivable.

He unsheathes his brand-new wand in a quick swish. He's never used his wand to cast – forbidden, Professor Dumbledore had explained, until reaching the Hogwarts Express – but he has no doubt he'll succeed. He's a genius, after all.

He casts a flippendo at him and the kid gets pushed to the ground, shrieking like Amy Benson at her worst. The rest of them gasp and take a step back. One reaches for his wand, but Tom disarms him easily.

"Come sit," he orders.

The First Pupils

Tom looks at the scrawniest of the lot, who's somehow drawn the short straw and is sitting by his side. The kid gulps, nervous. The whole atmosphere reminds him of the Orphanage, and Tom congratulates himself on his quick adaptation to the ways of the magical world.

"C'mon, Thoros. We've been over this."

"Professor Dumbledore is a Grand Sorcerer in Charms, Alchemy and Transfigurations," he answers hesitantly. "And he's most famous for the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon blood."

"Correct," Tom beams. "Abraxas, which scholarly journals has he published in?"

Blond and pointy fidgets, but he manages an answer. "Transfiguration Today, Challeneges in Charming and The Practical Potioneer."

Tom sighs.

"Those are only the most well-known... You've forgotten Advancements in Arithmancy, Trending Topics in Transfiguration, Modern Takes on Magical Theory and Annals of Alchemy."

These kids are unfit of being taught by the greatest mind of the century. Even Dennis Bishop – Dumb Dennis – has better memorization skills.

"Ertan, what's Professor Dumbledore's full name?"

Ertan looks like he would rather jump out the window than answer, and Tom prepares himself for yet another devastating disappointment. Just another proof of the Professor's greatness, that he has the skill and patience to teach this bunch of little brick-heads.

"Albus… Wulfric… Brian?"

"You forgot Percival," Argo corrects him, and earns a brilliant smile from Tom.

Smiles will have to do until he learns how to twinkle warmly.

"Good, good. And, the final question – What house do we want to join?"

"Gryffindor," the kids chorus all together.

Of course, after reviewing all of the Professor's life accomplishments, who wouldn't?

"I expect to see you all there."

The kids are looking rather pale. Must be nervous about the first day of school, Tom thinks. How childish.

The Chocolate Frogs

Argo Avery and Abraxas Malfoy have bought out about half of the Trolley Witch's trolley, and they hurry to offer Tom part of their treats. Tom's glad to see they've bonded over their admiration of Professor Dumbledore.

"Ugh," Abraxas complains, "Archibald Alderton again."

"That's got to be one of the worst."

"I've ten of him," Ertan Rosier adds. "I've only more of Dumbledore, mind you."

Thoros Nott sends Ertan a rather intense look, and he goes whiter still. Tom, though, is otherwise preoccupied.

"Dumbledore?" he asks.

"Er – yeah. His Famous Wizards and Witches Cards' card."

Tom eyes the chocolate frogs he's been ignoring in favour of salty treats. He takes one. Every boy in the tiny compartment is holding his breath. Tom has a hunch, though – him and Professor Dumbledore are fated. If someone's going to get his card on the first try, that's him.

"Oh," croaks Thoros over his shoulder, "Derwent Shimpling! That's a recent addition."

Tom's left eye twitches.

Well, if he finds it today, it still counts as in his first time eating chocolate frogs.

Glover Hipworth.

Dymphna Furmage.

Ethelred the Ever-Ready.

Xavier Rastrick.

If Tom eats another disgustingly sweet chocolate frog he's going to be sick.

"Here," he tells Argo as he hands him the next one to eat.

Lady Carmilla Sanguina.

Tom's eye twitches again.

The kids take a look at his face and all get their own frogs.

Twenty cards later, Tom tells himself that the best things in life one has to struggle for.

A/N: I add here a comment to the reddit prompt by u/sfinebyme (author BreezyWheeze on AO3, with their authorization) for extra crack. Not considered part of my story.

"Mr. Riddle, would you please explain exactly why there's a seventy-foot long basilisk, wearing darkened aviator goggles, residing in an unused classroom on the third floor?"

"Well, after Miss Warren accidentally died to it, I had to conjure the aviator goggles and black them out to prevent any further deaths."

"NOT what I was really asking, Tom, and I think you know that."

"Well, the basilisk is really only the first trial."

"First..." Dumbledore's face somehow turned even more baffled.

"Yeah. I snuck into the offices for the Ministry's Department of Education and stole copies of this year's upcoming OWL and NEWT exams for every subject. I then let the rumour get around about there being a treasure beyond value, and it being hidden behind a source of certain death."

"You wha...?"

"So then I set up a series of trials that any really competent and/or inhumanly lucky student could get through. After all, to get past the snake you just have hiss at it in a mimicry of Parseltongue and you can stroll right by.

"Then there's the Brazilian Paralyzing Sporepod Tentacles that will kill you in twenty seconds, but that's not really much of a trial since you can easily subdue it with fiendfyre. After that a relatively simple flying challenge that only requires successfully executing 23 consecutive Wronski feints, followed by..."

Here Dumbledore interrupted, "...fiendfyre...?"

"Yes, sir, please do keep up, we're already past that. After the demonstration of flying skill, you can move into the next room where you have to play a flawless game of Go on a 29 x 29 grid. Of course the standard is 19 x 19, but that seemed a little too elementary for magicals. And to give it some zest, you lose a limb for every point you lose the game by. After that is the room with the dragon which I... er... liberated from Gringott's, followed by a simple logic puzzle involving the Traveling Salesman Problem, all wrapping up with a room containing a boggart, Dementor, lethifold, niffler, nundu, and a dozen red caps. It's simple, really, you just have to get the niffler to give up the little golden orb containing the stolen exams without letting the nundu eat the red caps, or else..."

"MISTER RIDDLE! WHY ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE THIS?!"

Tom looked down, eyes beginning to tear. In a tiny voice he muttered, "because it seemed like something you would do..."