A/N: Thanks so much for all your wonderful thoughts.
Most characters belong to S. Meyer. The rest belong to me. All mistakes are mine.
Broken Ch 16
Standing and clearing my throat, I addressed our team, which was assembled in the conference room which had been our second home for the past few weeks.
"Good morning." I switched on the laptop monitor, and a world map with various pinpoints in three separate regions appeared. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be a morning briefing filled with much encouraging news.
"So, as you can all see, as of last evening, we have seventeen confirmed cases of H5N2 in the U.S. The cases are occurring in clusters, which further confirms the human-to-human transfer. Six are on the West Coast, four in the midwestern states, and seven on the East Coast. In addition, there are eighteen new cases in Asia. Early this morning, we received confirmation of six cases in Mexico, and the cultures of two more possible patients are currently being tested." I drew in a deep breath and exhaled it in one long gust. "You all know what this means."
From her seat at the round table, Maria was the first to verbalize the conclusion. "Confirmed spread from human to human and confirmed cases in three separate regions; it means we are officially in the early stages of a pandemic. Without a viable anti-viral, H5N2 will continue to spread rapidly and globally."
I nodded. "As issued under the rules of the International Health Regulations, this morning, our Director plans to speak with the Director-General of WHO to raise the level of influenza pandemic alert from phase two to phase three. This means they'll declare H5N2 a Public Health Emergency of International Concern, and thereby recommend that countries intensify surveillance for unusual outbreaks of influenza-like illness and severe pneumonia."
For a few moments, everyone was silent.
"That's not all," I said, raking a hand through my hair. "I got a call from Deputy Director Leann Polk this morning to let me know that in two days' time, she and the Director plan to schedule a meeting with the heads of the other health agencies to discuss activation of the Emergency Operations Center. Guys, we have forty-eight hours to figure out how to get the spread under control before this explodes into a national incident."
"Fuck," Collin spat. "All that could create a worldwide panic and bog us down in bureaucratic communications when we're so close to developing an anti-viral. Emmett, how are the latest cell cultures going?" he asked.
"Unfortunately, the latest cell cultures retrieved from our North American patients returned a low yield replication," Emmett said, to which the room at large replied with a collective groan.
"The strain has apparently mutated," I explained, "and the anti-viral in development won't work for all patients."
"But the good news is that we can still get ahead of this before it's declared a full-fledged pandemic," Emmett said. "All we need to do is come up with an anti-viral that'll fight all strains of the new virus before the Director and the other agency heads activate Emergency Operations."
"Is that all we need to do in the next forty-eight hours?" Bonnie asked with more than a hint of sarcasm.
"And how do we know any anti-viral we develop will work for all future mutations of H5N2?" Maria added.
I listened, observed, and brainstormed along with them. But the downside to having a mind which could focus on more than one issue at a time was that it could also wander down avenues it had no business wandering down, all while puzzling over what it was supposed to puzzle over. For example, while attempting to come up with a solution to the problem before me, I replayed everything I'd learned a couple of weeks earlier.
About her.
About…them.
They weren't married. I'd crossed off that tormenting possibility the very night I saw her. Lying in bed that night, I replayed every moment at the restaurant. Her hand in his…with neither she…nor he wearing a wedding band. I knew her well enough to know that if she were married, she'd wear a wedding band.
However, that didn't mean their relationship was casual. I'd come to that conclusion the following night. The way he held her hand was…not so much possessive as it was confident; secure in the knowledge that his touch was welcomed, as if he'd been touching her for a while. So, they'd been together for a few months, at least.
A few nights later, I accepted that it was a good relationship for her; a healthy one. As shocked and bewildered as she'd looked at the sight of me, her underlying expression had been one of peace; of contentment. There was an ease surrounding them, the sort of ease that resulted from being more than just lovers. So, they'd been friends before the relationship progressed.
And yes, she looked beautiful; there was that as well. Her skin glowed with both inner and outer health. She'd let her hair grow; silky waves cascaded further down her back than they had when I'd known her, when her hair was usually up in a ponytail. The elegant black dress she wore was different from the comfortable jeans and tee-shirt at the coffee shop or running tights and hoodie I remembered her wearing. Strange, how I would've given anything to see her in those jeans or running tights again. Most of all, she seemed…happy.
So, the question which had been torturing me for the past few days was how was it possible to be simultaneously happy for her, to be relieved she'd found someone decent who obviously cared for her, yet at the same time to feel as if my chest had been flayed open? It was as if every internal organ I possessed had been cast into a fire, charred to a crisp, and the only organ that remained…the one at the core of the mess was nothing more than a raw, bleeding carcass unable to feel anything beyond primal jealousy.
I had no clue how such a thing was possible, yet I was proof that it was.
And I was ready to end my self-torture, at least for the time being.
"Hold on, guys." I rubbed my jaw with the back of my hand as I thought through my words. "Maria said something a few minutes ago that I think is at the heart of the entire issue."
Maria's brow furrowed as she warily met my gaze. "What did I say?"
"You said that we need to develop an anti-viral that'll fight all strains of the new virus, those existing and all future mutations."
"Yes." She offered me an uncertain nod. "But the question is, how?"
"Well, by going back to the beginning, back to where things first went awry." I looked around the room and met everyone's gaze. "We stop this strain and all future versions of it from wreaking havoc in a healthy body by going back to the source and fixing the source."
"How?" Collin asked.
Emmett and I looked at one another.
"The virus's backbone," Emmett murmured, eyes growing wide. "All mutations will always have the same backbone."
"Exactly." I gave him a quick nod. "We alter the fucker at the starting point. Emmett, you're in charge on this one."
OOOOO
Early the following morning, I met Emmett at the CDC labs downtown, about a mile or so from New York's CDC headquarters.
"So, what we did was use a high-throughput mutagenesis and screening approach to identify mutations associated with high yield of H5N2," Emmett said excitedly. "Then, using reverse genetics, these mutant DNA libraries were used to generate virus libraries of variants possessing random amino-acid changes in one or several viral proteins. Based on Hong-Kong H5N2, we generated nine virus libraries, each associated with high-growth properties-"
"Em, hold on, hold on." Sighing, I straightened and pulled away from the microscope. "Give it to me in plain English, please."
Emmett chuckled, but when the chuckle faded, a grin remained, which was a good sign.
"In plain English, we're on the right track."
A ghost of a smile hesitantly played around one corner of my mouth. "How right of a track?"
"I'll need a couple more days to be sure, but-"
Groaning, I threw back my head and glared at the ceiling. "Em, we don't have a couple more days. Raoul, Leann's admin told me in confidence last night that Leann and the Director herself are flying out to Atlanta early tomorrow morning. They're activating the EOC, at which point, this becomes a national emergency, and coordination becomes much more difficult because every step we take we'll first have to run by about twenty different health organizations in a complicated chain of command."
"Give me thirty-six hours."
"You've got twenty-four," I countered. "I need to know, before Leann and the DD get on that plane to Atlanta if the anti-viral is a go."
"Pero mira que mucho jode este pen-"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm asking for a lot, I know, but if we're this close, if we have a viable anti-viral, and the EOC is activated, the bureaucracy of a long, complicated chain of command will only serve to delay the booster's production by months. You know that."
"Fine, fine." Emmett expelled a heavy breath through his nose, gripping his man-bun in one hand. "Twenty-four hours."
I nodded. "Thanks. I'll be in the office if you need me." I made my way to the sink, peeled off my gloves and scrubbed hard, but Emmett's question made me pause for a second.
"Ed, did you even go home last night?"
"Yeah, at about four. Then, I went for a run to clear my head, showered and changed, and here I am."
"So, you haven't you slept?"
Properly disinfected, I pulled off the lab coat and threw it in the proper bin. Then, I turned around and faced Emmett again, leaning against the sink and crossing my arms.
"I'll sleep when we've got this latest issue under control."
Emmett shook his head and scrutinized me. "Edward, you of all people know that a fucking jog doesn't take the place of actual sleep and rest. Now, more than ever, we need to keep our immune systems-"
"Emmett, I don't need a fucking lecture on how to keep my immune system up," I retorted heatedly. "In case I haven't been clear, we don't have time for bullshit. What I need from you is an answer, within the next twenty-four hours, of whether we've got a viable anti-viral. That's all I need you to focus on."
Emmett stared at me long and hard, and yeah, I felt like shit even as I spat out the words. Technically, I outranked him, but I'd never considered him…never treated him as anything less than my equal with different expertise.
"All right," he finally said, slowly and evenly before turning to face his many microscopes, slides, and samples. "But at the risk of wasting more time, I'm just gonna say one more thing, boss man."
"Emmett, I apologize."
"When this is over, Ed, regardless of how it ends, you need a break – and a long one. Take your ass to the Caribbean, to Europe; hell, go to the Antarctic and disconnect yourself from all this shit for a while. You've been nonstop for a hell of a long time, and while I suspect I know…" he sighed. "Anyway, vete," he said, waving a hand in dismissal, "and let me get back to work."
"All right. Uhm, thanks."
OOOOO
Ten minutes later, I arrived at the crowded elevator bank to the CDC's offices. Maria was at the front of the morning fray, standing next to a guy I recognized from the building, though he usually rode a different elevator bank. They were laughing, while she stroked his arm and he leaned into her ear, saying something which made her giggle more like Coffee-Shop Bree or TV-Journalist Serena than like Maria, the fellow scientist.
Unfortunately, when her gaze wandered, she spotted me and visibly startled. Her eyes grew wide, and her relaxed posture stiffened and straightened, which left the guy with who she'd been laughing and whispering with his head hanging in midair.
"Oh. Good morning, Edward," she said over the din of the crowd.
"Good morning, Maria," I replied pleasantly.
"I did not think you would be in so early since you were still here when I left last night."
"I wanted to take care of a couple of things before we all met for our morning briefing."
"Oh." With a nervous smile, she turned and faced forward.
I smirked to myself, and not because I gave a damn about the guy at her side, who she was now trying to ignore though he kept talking and smiling at her, but because it seemed all I did lately was embarrass women who'd moved on from any interest they might've once had in me. Then again, I couldn't blame either one. Her…I'd lied to her from our first moments together.
As for Maria, I'd flirted and raised the possibility of a date to Maria before I'd sprinted to a restaurant to pick up an order for our team, and when I'd returned, I'd pretended our second, thirty seconds of flirting had never happened. What was that saying? Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice…? Yeah, they also said the best way to get someone out of your head was to push 'em out by shoving someone else in there.
I hadn't even tried. I didn't want to forget her. Like a fucking masochist, instead of focusing on someone else, on someone who showed interest, I preferred to hold on to the memory of a one-year-old kiss, and to the more recent hint of a smile across a few feet, in a restaurant – while she was on a date with someone else.
When the elevator arrived, the guy next to Maria planted a kiss on her cheek before walking off to the FDA elevator bank. As the elevator emptied floor by floor, Maria moved to my side and looked up at me, face flaming as she offered me an apologetic smile.
"I got tired of waiting," she whispered.
The woman and I worked together. The last thing we needed, with the flu issue at hand, was the awkwardness which would most likely result if I told her that, other than for her expertise as part of our team, she was one of the last things on my mind these days.
Therefore, I smiled in return. "He seems pretty into you."
"He is," she giggled.
"Good." The elevator dinged on my floor. "So, I'll meet you and the rest of the team upstairs," I said. "I've got to make a couple of calls first."
She blinked for a couple of seconds, but then with a snort so quiet I was sure it was meant only for herself, she smiled. "All right, Edward. I will let everyone know you will be up in a few."
"Thanks, Maria."
OOOOO
"Raoul, we just need a half-hour of her time," I said over the office phone as I pulled out my hair. "Emmett is working on a new version of the anti-viral, and we think we're on the right-"
Raoul, Deputy Director Leann Polk's admin assistant cut me off.
"Edward, I'm sorry, but she doesn't have any room in her schedule for the next few days. I can probably squeeze you two in next Tuesday-"
"No. We need to meet with her now, Raoul, to talk to her about postponing her trip with the Director to Atlanta tomorrow to activate the EOC."
"Edward," Raoul snorted, "only an act of God will postpone that trip now. That's her top priority at the moment."
"Which is why we need to-"
"Edward, they've made up their minds. The EOC will be activated tomorrow at noon."
"But-"
"You've told her you still have no viable option-"
"That might change within the next twenty-four hours."
Raoul sighed. "Buddy, I want to help you; I do. But a "Maybe we might have something" ain't gonna change a damn thing. Unfortunately, this EOC activation business is gonna really ramp us up, which means Leann will be crazy busy, which means I might as well kiss the vacation I planned to take next month goodbye. But without a viable-"
"Emmett has promised to let me know by tomorrow morning if the latest round is viable. If you can at least schedule us in for the morning-"
"She's not seeing anyone tomorrow morning. She's prepping for the meeting with the other Health heads. I'm not even supposed to tell anyone she'll be in the office for a short while tomorrow," he hissed quietly.
I exhaled a breath of frustration. "Okay. Can we at least do this?" I pleaded. "If I get word from Emmett before she leaves the office tomorrow morning, can you squeeze us in-"
"She's not scheduling anything-"
"Don't tell her you're scheduling us!" I hissed. "Just check and see if she has even five free minutes. A bathroom break she can postpone. That's all I'm asking for."
Raoul was quiet for a few seconds. Finally, I heard him exhale.
"Fine," he snapped. "If you get confirmation from Emmett before Leann leaves for the airport, call me, and…" he sighed, "and I'll see what I can do, though it might mean my head."
I expelled a breath of cautionary relief. "Thanks, Raoul."
"I'm not making any promises, Edward!"
"Got it."
OOOOO
"Don't fall in love while you figure yourself out. Find yourself. Meet others. But don't fall in love. Your heart belongs to me."
"What if I do fall in love with someone else? What will you do?"
"I have no idea. I have no idea."
My eyes opened slowly to the dark bedroom. For a few seconds, I stared at the ceiling, while the old, recurring dream faded. Then, with a deep breath, I got up for the day.
I'd waited all night for a phone call from Emmett, but unfortunately, none had come. Finally, though I knew he would've called if he had good news, I sent him a quick text.
Any luck?
Not yet, Edward. Sorry.
Not your fault. I know you're doing your best.
I'll give you a call as soon as I know one way or the other.
Thanks, Emmett.
No problem, panita.
At the very least, I was glad he hadn't addressed me as "Boss man" again.
I went for a longer than usual run, but then again, that was the norm these days. I found myself running tracks I'd avoided for a year now, parallel with the river and with Lady Liberty front and center.
"You lied to me. Everything you said was a lie."
"Not everything, not the most salient fact of all."
I ran faster, trying to outrun the misfortune of having lost her when that one, most salient fact would be the most salient fact of my life. How fucking ironic was that? But strangely enough, a few minutes later, I found myself smiling as I recalled an old conversation we'd had while taking in the statue.
"Why New York though? I get you wanted more sunshine than you had in Forks, but why New York instead of someplace like California?"
"I don't really know why," she'd replied with a shrug. "I just know…I wanted to be here, in New York. I needed to be here."
For a moment, I considered how things might've been different had she and the fucker who was her husband at the time headed to California – to L.A., to San Francisco – instead of here to Manhattan.
Would she have ended up divorced? Jasper was a fucking bastard – emphasis on the fucking – regardless of the city or state in which he'd resided. He'd made it obvious to all of us, Alice included, regardless of the fact that she refused to admit it to herself, that she'd merely been an affair to him, not the love of his life, not a reason to end his marriage, but rather…a mistake he'd gotten caught doing – literally. So…eventually, more than likely, there would've been a divorce.
But then…had they gone to California, I would've never met her.
It was that thought which made me stop short.
The runner behind me didn't have time to swerve and knocked into me.
"Hey, dude, watch it!" he said.
"Sorry, sorry," I said distractedly.
I would've never met her. Despite the part of me that was never at ease while I knew her, while I knew I was lying to her, despite the constant yet dulled ache that had been my companion for the past year, despite the…more recent and fresher pain of the scene in that restaurant, it was the thought of never having met her which struck me like a physical blow. And at that moment…as I stood in the middle of that running track while the runners behind me all swerved around me, some sucking their teeth and some with outright curses, I knew…
It wasn't misfortune. In fact…I was probably one of the luckiest bastards to have ever existed because I knew her! I'd met her, spoken to her…once kissed her. How many people go through their entire lives without ever even meeting that one person? And if it meant even just knowing her, knowing she existed out there, knowing she was happy out there, this someone who in another life would've been perfect for me, it had all been worth it.
When my cell phone vibrated in my pocket, snapping me out of my epiphany, I moved out of the way as I answered the call.
"Edward, we're a go." Emmett's voice vibrated with excitement. "It replicated beautifully, wonderfully overnight."
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment. I wasn't followed my misfortune after all.
"Emmett, thank you, man."
"Don't thank me, panita. It was all of us – mostly you fucking pushing us to our limits all the time." He chuckled heartily.
I snorted. "All right, so how soon can you make it to the CDC building, so that we can meet with Leann."
"Ed, I can't leave right now. Bonnie and I are in the middle of documenting everything. You'll have to meet with Leann on your own."
I fisted my hair. "Emmett, there's no way I can talk the microbiology of it the way you can. And you know Leann is all about the microbiology."
"I'm uploading our findings and sending them to you right now. You got this, man."
I swallowed hard. "I got this. Okay."
OOOOO
In another stroke of luck, Raoul didn't give me another half-hour run around when I called him and told him we were a go, and I needed five minutes with Leann before she left for the airport.
"All right. So, she has a quick call that ends at seven-fifteen a.m., and at seven-twenty a.m., she's leaving for the airport."
I looked at my watch. It was six-fifty-nine. That left me no time to go home and shower, likely not even enough to shower at the CDC gym. I looked down at myself, in sweat-dampened shorts and a hoodie.
"Edward?"
"I'll be there."
"I mean it. Her calendar says, 'Seven-twenty: Leave for airport.'"
"Got it. I'll be there. Thanks so much, Raoul."
With rush hour traffic in full swing, the fastest way there was on my own two feet. By the time I made it to the CDC building, my clothes could've been wrung out, and although I kept a change of clothing in my office, it was seven-twelve a.m. when I hit Leann's floor on the elevator.
When I walked through the DD's waiting area, Raoul stood from his desk.
"Oh, thank God you made it. I would've wrung your pretty neck had I kept those five minutes open for you and then you didn't even show…wait, why are you in running clothes?" He leaned in and took a sniff, backing up quickly. "And you smell like sweat."
Meanwhile, I lay my hands on my kneecaps and tried to catch my breath. "Sorry. I went for a morning run, and by the time you called, I didn't have time to stop for a shower or change."
"Whatever. Get yourself together, dude. I'm going to go let her know you're here. Wish me luck," he whispered.
I merely nodded and waved him off as he opened the door to the Deputy Director's office. While I straightened, I heard him clear his throat and announce me.
"Uhm, Leann? Edward Cullen is here. He'd like a few minutes to discuss an important development regarding that flu booster he and his team are working on?"
Through the open door, I heard Leann's annoyed sigh. "Damn it, Raoul, I asked you not to let anyone know I was in the building. You know I have a flight to Atlanta to catch this morning."
"I know, Leann. I apologize, but Edward's promised to keep it to five minutes, and I thought…"
When the cell phone in my shorts pocket vibrated and interrupted my eavesdropping, I sucked my teeth and decided I'd check it later. But my Millennial hand instinctively reached in and pulled out the phone – a phone set up to scan my retina on the home screen and provide me with the first few words of my incoming messages, news stories, texts…
With the first few words of the incoming text, my heavy breaths instantly ceased. In fact, I stopped breathing altogether.
Hi, Edward. It's Bella. I know it's been a while, and I know the last time we spoke-
With lightning speed, I swiped a finger over the phone screen to open the rest of the message.
"Edward, you can come in. Leann's agreed to give you five minutes." Raoul appeared in my periphery, standing at the door to the Deputy Director's office, while before me appeared a text message in its entirety.
Hi, Edward. It's Bella. I know it's been a while, and I know the last time we spoke, our conversation ended badly. I've been wondering, however, if perhaps we could have coffee. There were-
"Edward?"
"Hold on," I snapped.
There were things you once wanted to tell me, and I think I'm ready to listen. I think if we discussed these issues, we could both get some closure. All right, let me know. Thanks.
"Edward, what the hell?" Raoul hissed. "The Deputy Director is waiting, and she's only agreed to give you five minutes."
"Tell him he's down to four!" the Director called out from her office.
"Did you hear that?"
With my heart now racing and my mind in a bewildered, disoriented, and off-kilter uproar, I took the only next step I could at that moment…the very last step I wanted to take. I repocketed the phone, took a deep breath, and walked into the Deputy Director's office.
A/N: Thoughts?
Just want to make clear that I've made up the entire flu scenario, from the name of the strain to the method of creating the booster, by very, very, very loosely following the outline of how the 2009 H1N1 Pandemic occurred. When H1N1 popped up in 2009, it was a novel (unknown) strain, and it's a pretty interesting (and somewhat frightening) story of how it all went down. Had they not found a way to stop the spread, we could all be dead right now.
Anyway, if anyone wants to read up on it, it's good reading. I took a bit from there and made up a whole lot, lol, since I know nothing on that front.
Chapter song rec: The Reason by Hoobastank.
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