These are not my songs. Remedy by Adele; I See You by Missio.

Rachel sat in class, head in hand, her attention everywhere but the teacher and the riveting lesson on the War of 1812. Puck was doing community service, something he conveniently forgot to mention until the last minute, and LJ and Tori were both sick after drinking spoiled milk. Santana and Quinn were with Sue in the gym. Though the two weren't really involved with the Cheerios, they were the best Sue ever had, and the woman was struggling with the new batch of cheerleaders. Brittany was mysteriously absent from school as well.

Honestly, Rachel had no idea how her siblings missed the expiration date, but it was said and done. So, she, being the star student that she was, went to school to avoid being stuck watching them vomit all over the place. Leroy was stuck at home, having kept the meeting with his lawyer to himself, and was playing nurse for the time being.

Rachel, without Santana or Puck in class, meant she was forced to sit next to new people. One of them being…

"Hey, I was thinking we could hang out later?"

Rachel glowered. She turned to Kurt and said, "My answer hasn't changed from the first time you asked."

"How can I get the chance to prove I'm still your friend if you won't let me?"

"Who said I wanted you as a friend?"

Kurt sighed. "Look, after Finn died, I realized I was being a complete jerk. I want to start over. Plus, you didn't even give me a chance to prove myself. You went straight to Santana and Quinn, even though I did nothing wrong."

"I think you're remembering my arrival a little differently," she said wryly.

"All I'm asking for is one night. You, me, Tina, and Mercedes. We can have that girls' night we've always wanted to do. It'll be fun."

Rachel looked Kurt in the eyes. Part of her knew he was being genuine, but the other half just didn't trust him. Hell, beyond her family, Rachel was having a hard time putting her trust in anyone. Kurt, no matter what he said, would always be a memory to her.

"My answer is still no."

"Why?" he asked angrily.

The bell rang.

Rachel shrugged and stood up. "I don't trust you," she said. "I wish I could, but I can't."

She grabbed her things and left the room.

For the rest of the day, Rachel avoided Kurt. He chased her down the hall, and she used every trick in the book to not get caught. But he apparently decided to change his methods. At the end of fourth period, Rachel had her head down, trying to zip up the jacket she stole from LJ's closet, so she missed Kurt standing in front of her. She missed the two massive cups in his hand. She missed the sudden silence in the hall. All Rachel remembered was looking up and getting hit with 24 ounces of straight ice water. It wasn't as vicious as a slushy, but it still stung like a-

"Bitch," he spat. "All I've ever done is have your back. I cleaned you up after every slushy. I listened to you whine and moan about Finn, about Puck, about Quinn, about Jesse, about Santana, and about your fathers."

Kurt threw the second cup. Rachel lost her breath. Kurt tossed both cups on the ground.

"I was there for you after Jesse kicked you out of his house after you whored yourself out for a fucking solo. I was the first person you came out to and I watched you get drunk and run off with some rando in some sick sense of gay panic. I took you to the clinic to get tested. I've done EVERYTHING for you, and you turn your back on me for what? For two sluts and a prison junkie. Not to mention the two PSYCHOpaths you call siblings."

Rachel stood there, frozen. Not because of the water. Not because of his words. Not because of the silence in the halls. She was furious. Red hot rage pulsed through her veins. It was like she was back in the diner. Back outside of Puck's house with Brittany. Rachel couldn't calm herself down. Not that she gave it much thought.

She opened her eyes, ignoring the sting of the water, and clenched her fists. Several students stepped back as she started to tremble. Not only had Kurt outed her secrets, but he also insulted her family. She didn't scream at him. She wanted to, but she didn't. Something inside of her broke. She laughed.

Kurt's face shifted into confusion. Rachel tipped her head back and laughed so hard she felt it in her stomach.

"Dude, I think you broke her," someone whispered.

"She was already broken, fucking psycho," someone else muttered.

That snapped Rachel out of it.

She glared at the student and hissed, "I was never broken. I was hurting. I was embarrassed because you and the people of this town seem to think that if someone isn't a jock or a cheerleader, they're a loser and should be treated as such. You all think you know the story, know what happened that night, but none of you were there. None of you heard what he said. None of you saw what he did. But the moment a good enough reason gets whispered in your ears and settles in your tiny brains, you run with it like the group of Forrest Gumps you are. So don't FUCKING push me, because I promise that if you want to end up like the man in the diner, I can arrange it."

The student paled and wet himself in the hall. Rachel turned her eyes to Kurt, who was standing there, stock-still. He tried to step away, but Rachel was faster. She kicked out legs. He dropped to his knees. Rachel snaked her hand through his hair and held on tight. He winced.

She whispered in his ear, "Once word reaches the two sluts, the prison junkie, and the two psychopaths I call my siblings, you'll be tied to the flagpole with your dick in your mouth."

She leaned up and looked Kurt in the eyes. She released his hair and he took off on a dead sprint. Only to run right into a wall of red and white.

"Let him through," she said to them.

The girls parted very hesitantly, but their angers turned to concern when they looked over Rachel's shoulder. She sighed. She already knew who it was.

"I assume you want to see me in your office?" she asked.

The person placed their hand on her shoulder and said, "Actually, I think it'd be best if you just went home, Miss Berry. I'll let your fifth and sixth period teacher know."

Rachel shrugged off Figgin's hand. She made her way through the parted crowd and didn't break her stride when she saw Sue and Emma standing in the front office. Santana and Quinn tried to catch up but she didn't stop for them.

"Rachel?" Sue called out. "Rachel! Where are you- what the hell is going on?"

There was a pause.

"What happened to her?"

"Kurt threw ice water on her. She...snapped," Quinn said.

"I think you all better let her go," Emma said.

Rachel pushed so hard on the doors it echoed. She walked straight to her car and drove. She passed the new house Leroy managed to find, where her siblings were recovering. Rachel drove past Hiram's house, her childhood home. She drove past the church, past the diner, past Emma and Sue's house. She just drove and didn't stop, until she reached the park outside of town. She parked and got out of the car. She made her way into the clearing and sat down on a bench.

And she screamed.

Leroy found her an hour later. He told the rest of them to wait. He knew where she'd go. It was where she went when things got too much. He walked through the grass, bag in hand, and he sat on the opposite side of the bench. Rachel barely lifted her head, but she grunted an acknowledgement. He unpacked the pasta, the breadsticks, and the salad. He fixed her food the way she liked and sat it in front of her. He pulled out the wine, poured a healthy amount in two glasses, and waited.

Sure enough, she lifted her head and started eating. He nodded and ate as well. The two ate in silence, not a word was spoken, and when she finished the wine, he refilled her glass.

"I thought you didn't want me drinking," she muttered.

"We both know you're as much of a lush as I am. It would be fruitless to stop you," he said.

Rachel snorted. They went back to silence. Leroy finished off the breadsticks and reached back down into the bag. He placed a large slice of chocolate cake between them and placed her fork on her side of the table. He wasted no time in eating. Rachel ate with him until there was only icing left. Leroy grimaced and threw the rest in the bag. She and her father shared the love of cake but hated the icing. Rachel wiped her mouth. She tapped her fingers on the table and sighed.

"When I was sixteen, I had sex with Jesse so I could win a solo. Kurt was the only one who knew."

Leroy said nothing.

"Two weeks later, I came out to Kurt. He took me to a bar that was notorious for letting underage drinkers in, I panicked about being a lesbian, and let some random guy take me home. I ended up having to get tested a few days later and was diagnosed with an STI. It cleared up fairly quickly, and that was the end of it."

Leroy just raised his eyebrow, but still said nothing.

"I'm in love with Santana and Quinn, but I'm having a hard time fitting into their dynamic and they're having a hard time adjusting to mine."

Leroy drank from his glass.

"Puck's father is a sick and twisted individual that I dream of killing."

Leroy inclined his head. Everyone knew that.

"I hate you."

That was what he was waiting for. He sighed and put his hands on the table.

"You took away my voice," she said. "You stopped singing with me. You let him take your voice away and in return, you took mine. You stopped coming to my rehearsals, my recitals, and you stopped taking me to see musicals. You stopped sneaking me downstairs at midnight to watch a movie just because I couldn't sleep. You stopped playing the piano and trying to get me to guess the song. You TOOK MY VOICE FROM ME!"

Leroy reared back when Rachel slammed her palms on the table.

"I HATE YOU FOR LOVING HIM! FOR STAYING WITH HIM! I HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME GO TO SEATTLE! I HATE YOU FOR HAVING LJ AND TORI! I HATE YOU FOR NOT BEING MY BIOLOGICAL DAD! WHY-

She stopped and screamed again. Leroy rushed across the table and grabbed her. They fell into the grass, but it didn't matter. He just held her.

"Why couldn't you have picked me?" she cried. "You never picked me. It was always him. It was always him. You never stood up for me."

Leroy cried as he held her. He didn't know what to say. He had nothing to say. All he could do was hold her.

The sun was setting when Rachel shifted. Leroy was stiff and sore, but it didn't matter. Rachel looked at him with guilt and he shook his head.

"I'm not mad," he said. "I'm ashamed. I should have seen it."

"See what?" she croaked.

He brushed her hair from her face and sighed, "You. I kept seeing how strong you were, and I pulled away because I thought you could handle it. But I was wrong. I was so wrong."

"I'm always going to need you, Daddy. I've always needed you. You're the reason I sing," she said. "And you're also the reason I don't."

His heart broke at that.

"But you're also the reason I'm willing to try again," she said.

Leroy looked down at her in shock. "What?"

"I'll start singing again."

"You- you a-are?" he stammered. "But-

"Despite what I said, I don't hate you. I was angry. I am angry, but I'm tired of being angry. It's suffocating me. And if I don't move from it, I'll drown."

A beat of silence.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, baby girl. Okay."

Rachel smiled. "Cool." She sighed and added, "But you're going to have to help me with the other thing I mentioned."

"The Santana and Quinn thing?"

She nodded.

"That's easy. You three are trying to date versions of yourselves that don't exist. You're all seeing each other as the girls you were before you left. Your brains haven't caught up yet."

Rachel frowned. She opened her mouth but closed it. He was right.

"Thanks," she said. "That… unfortunately helps."

"You'll be fine. I never said the love wasn't there. But it's buried beneath past memories and past hurts. Understand who you all are now, and go from there."

Later that night, Rachel sat on the bed in her new bedroom. Her father promised to get her stuff from Sue and Emma's, but he had a surprise for her. The conversation came after the plan, but she was glad he did it. The piano was beautiful, expensive, and she wondered where he got the money. She would have to ask later. He was at Sue and Emma's. He dragged LJ and Tori with him, and Rachel was alone. Which is what she wanted. She needed to figure out how to handle Quinn and Santana, and it hit her later that she'd better do it the only way she knew how.

A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. She unlocked the door and moved to the side. Santana walked in first with Quinn behind her. She closed and locked the door once they were inside.

"This is…nice."

Rachel rolled her eyes goodnaturedly at Santana. "I know it looks like shit," she said.

"We can have a paint party this weekend," Quinn said.

"Fine, long as it's not pink," Rachel said.

Santana nodded in agreement. Quinn pointed to the piano.

"I thought Hiram sold your piano," she said.

"Daddy recently came into some money and bought a new one." Rachel glanced at Santana, who kept a straight face. Rachel added, "Whatever he did, I'm glad he did."

Rachel walked over to the piano and sat down. She pointed to the bed and they got the hint. Rachel had no idea what she wanted to say, but she figured a song would help. She played the keys and forced down that initial rejection that usually came with singing. Instead, she thought about the first time she knew she loved Santana. The song was nothing like she was used to, but she heard it while unpacking and knew it was exactly how she felt about Santana.

I remember all of the things that I thought I wanted to be

So desperate to find a way out of my world and finally breathe

Right before my eyes, I saw my heart, it came to life

This ain't easy, it's not meant to be, every story has its scars

Santana was her vicious one. Quinn was cold, but Santana was like pure fire when she was angry. She'd said so many things to Rachel that made her cry the night away, but Rachel knew when it was coming from hate and when it was coming from fear. Santana had a bad habit of hiding behind vitriol when she was scared. A habit Rachel was tempted to rip to shreds.

But when the pain cuts you deep

When the night keeps you from sleeping

Just look and you will see that I will be your remedy

When the world seems so cruel

And your heart makes you feel like a fool

I promise you will see that I will be

I will be your remedy

It was something Rachel understood. She did the same thing. But hers was distant, impassive, and it took her out of the emotions. Santana just fully twisted hers and gave in, saying things she knew would hurt the other and push them away so she didn't have to deal with loving someone who could be gone. Again.

It all stemmed from her mother.

Santana lost someone that meant the world to her. And her father refused to acknowledge the damage it did. Rachel glanced at Santana and saw the girl was frozen solid. Quinn looked between the two of them, and recognition dawned on her face. She simply looked at Rachel, and for the first time, Rachel saw that Quinn knew she understood.

Rachel turned back around and skipped to the end of the song. She slowed down the song more than it already was.

When the pain cuts you deep

When the night keeps you from sleeping

Just look and you will see I will be, I will be

When the world seems so cruel

And your heart makes you feel like a fool

I promise you will see that I will be, I will be

I will be your remedy

Rachel couldn't live without Santana, no matter how much she tried. In fact, Santana was the first one she fell in love with. She was her foil, but she was her strength, her peace, and her headache. Rachel was full-on ready to confess her undying love to Santana when the weirdest thing happened.

She saw Quinn. Not the HBIC, but the real, Quinn. The dork, the goofball, the sweetheart. She was the one who melted Rachel while Santana riled her up. They both made her weak in so many different ways. And then, she fell in love with her too. Her heart had split in half and went two separate ways, but came together in one single conclusion:

She couldn't live without either of them.

Rachel closed her eyes and changed the song. Her tears fell on her fingertips, but she ignored them. The song was hard to do without a drum, but Rachel had been playing the song for a while, just never performed for anyone. Especially not the person she arranged it for.

I see you when you're down and depressed, just a mess

I see you when you cry, when you're shy, when you wanna die

I see you when you smile, it takes a while, least you're here

I see you, yes, I see you

She let herself smile. Quinn was the enigma. The wild one. The one who dealt with never being good enough, but always being above the rest. She was the one who pushed herself to be the better person but tore people down to make sure it stayed that way. She searched for attention in everything, but Rachel saw her each time. She always saw her.

I see you when you hide, and when you lie it's no surprise

I see you when you run from the lie within your eyes

I see you when you think that I don't notice all those scars

I see you, yes, I see you

There was always that one flicker in Quinn's eyes when someone touched a nerve or touched a heart string. Always that desire to flee. Rachel cocked her head and lowered the pitch. It wasn't that she couldn't hit the note, but she always started crying when she got to the end.

Even when you cry and even when you're shy

You mean everything to me

Even when you lie and even when you hide

You mean everything to me

I see you

Yes, I see you

I see you

Even when you cry and even when you shine

Yes, I see you

Rachel stopped the song and exhaled.

"Oof!"

Rachel hit the floor hard with two bodies on top of her. She groaned as someone's elbow dug into her stomach. Santana's head popped up first, followed by Quinn. They were both crying, and Rachel felt immensely uncomfortable with the emotions welling up inside of her. She had hoped they would let her speak first, but that was obviously not the case.

"You sang," Quinn whispered.

Oh, that's why they were looking at her like that.

"I missed your voice," Santana said.

"Me too."

Rachel nodded slowly. "As much as I love having you on top of me, this position is painful," she wheezed.

They pulled her off the floor. She groaned and stretched out her back before she was unceremoniously pushed onto the bed. Santana and Quinn stripped off their hoodies and shoes before they climbed into bed with her. She wanted to ask about their day, but they weren't giving her a chance. The two wrapped around her. Rachel figured they needed the touch. Which was really sweet but also-

"Stop thinking so loud," Santana said.

"How did you know?"

"Because I can feel your heartbeat."

"And I can see your jaw clenching," Quinn said.

"You all aren't saying anything other than me sing-

"Baby," Quinn interrupted. "If you want our raw reactions, you're not going to like them. Okay?"

Rachel frowned but also blushed at the term of endearment.

"What Quinn meant to say was that you're not going to like them because we won't be able to explain ourselves afterward."

"Huh?"

"Just…hush and let us hold you. Please?"

"Fine."