She's in Charming far longer than she had ever planned. Back when she left all of those years ago, she vowed to never step back into this cesspool of a town. Yet here she is, sitting in her father's run down house whilst Evie sits in front of the television engrossed in Paw Patrol wondering why in actual fact she is here.

Her father clings to life with the tips of his fingers and stubbornly refuses to embrace death. Their conversations are awkward and stilited and the resentment of him choosing alcohol over his daughter flares up every time she visits him, yet she bites her tongue like the good daughter she pretends to be.

A part of her doesn't want Evie to know the man. For so long in her mind her father has been the helpless drunk who passed out on the front garden for everyone to see. Even as he wastes away before her eyes, Tara can't find it in herself to forgive him for the lonely childhood that he gave her. His one decent act of parenting was pushing her to go to college and get out of this damn town, but it still doesn't make up for the fact that Tara raised herself.

Yet she brings Evie with her everyday to the old man's bedside and watches with mixed feelings as her father tries to get to know his granddaughter.

He's your father, she has to remind herself every time he looks at her with sad uncertain eyes as though it's her fault that there's this distance between them. He pushed her away when his beloved wife died. He chose to give up and to love the bottle more than his own daughter.

Still.

She can do this one last thing for him, even though she's itching to get back to Chicago and her life and far away from Charming and Jackson Teller as possible.

It's almost a week after her confrontation with Jax that she catches him sitting at her father's bedside, his rough voice too quiet for Tara to hear what he is saying. Unconsciously hugging Evie tighter to her side, Tara watches as a pained laugh escapes her father, his lips curling into an expression she has only seen on his face when Evie is at his side. Her father hasn't had much to smile about for the past thirty years or so, but his haggard face lights up around Evie. Despite being two years old, Evie's innocent charm and her bubbly personality is able to make even the hardest man melt.

She's almost decided to turn back the way she came and to avoid those cold blue eyes before they break her heart again when her father notices her in the doorway. Damn you, she curses him silently. Even on his deathbed the man still manages to cause her grief. Squaring her shoulders, Tara takes three steps further into the room, her face slipping into the calm mask she perfected years ago. "Hello Tara," John Knowles says, his once strong voice now worn and gravely.

Jax tenses in his seat, his eyes cold as he meet her gaze. Tara narrows her eyes in reaction, her nerves giving way to absolute fury when she realizes that he wants to continue with his bullshit.

So what if he hates her. It meant fuck all to her.

(It meant everything.)

John's eyes flick back and forth between his daughter and Jax nervously as he realizes that this isn't going to be a happy reunion between the former high school sweethearts.

Jax's eyes land on Evie, and she sees something flash across his eyes before it's gone. Tara tenses, a snarl on her lips and poison words on the tip of her tongue, ready to be thrown at the Prince of Charming (King of the bikers be damned!) if he even has the audacity to so much as look at her daughter in the wrong way-

"Hi!" Evie squeals oblivious to the tension in the room, her smile as sweet as pie as she looks at Jax with dancing eyes. Tara watches Jax carefully, not believing her eyes, Jax's eyes soften, his mouth curling into a gentle smile as he stands and steps closer. Those beautiful blue eyes of his take in Evie, the emotion in them enough to break her heart all over again as he grins at her daughter.

Really, she shouldn't be surprised at the fact that her daughter has the ability to charm hardened criminals. With her gorgeous brunette ringlet curls and big green eyes, Tara's daughter is the most beautiful toddler that she has ever seen. Perhaps she's biased, but in her eyes it's true.

Despite his hatred of her, Jax clearly doesn't feel the same way about Tara's daughter.

"Hi Princess," Jax drawls out, ignoring Tara completely. Evie grins in delight, her little teeth on full display at her delight of being called a Princess. She points a chubby finger at herself. "Evie," she says simply but clearly, her smile proud at finally being able to say her name right after much struggle.

Her heart melts just watching them as Jax grins widely, his eyes almost dancing as he points at himself and says, "I'm Jax."

Evie tries to repeat his name but it comes out something like Chax which has her in a fit of giggles and has Tara's mouth twitching into a reluctant smile as she notices Evie's flushed cheeks.

Her daughter's just as charmed by Jax Teller as her mother.

Evie twists in Tara's arms, eager to be set down but Tara clutches her tighter, her breath frozen in her lungs as Jax's eyes flick up to hers and for once they're not looking at her as though she's the spawn of satan-

A haggered cough comes from her father, and just like that the spell is broken as she watches that horrid blank expression cloud over Jax's face and then he's looking away from her as though he can't bear to look at her.

Not for the first time, Tara curses her father.

She can feel John Knowles's eyes on her as Jax turns to her father and quietly says goodbye. Tara ignores him, her eyes fixed firmly on Jax as he gives a small smile to Evie who is looking at her new friend as though he's the best thing since sliced bread. "Bye Princess," he says, his voice warm and gentle despite the chill radiating from his very being.

"Bye Chax!" Evie says brightly.

Look at me, she begs silently. Pathetically. Don't act like I am nothing to you-

Jax leaves without sparing her a glance.

You fucking bastard.

She can feel her eyes pricking with tears, and perhaps if her daughter wasn't in her arms and her father's eyes weren't fixed on her then she would have been a crying mess on the floor.

So Tara purses her trembling lips and meets her father's gaze. "What was Jax doing here?" she asks to break the awkward silence.

"He stops by sometimes," her father replies rather unhelpfully.

"You hate him."

For a long moment John Knowles considers his words carefully. "I hated the boy who would have kept you in this no good town. You deserved better than the life he would have given you, but look at you now." He pauses. "He's a good man, under it all."

Tara wants to argue, but just because Jax is a dick to her doesn't mean that he's an awful person.

Once she had known his heart. She knows that the goodness in him far outweighs the bad.

"Give him time Tara," her father says softly. "You caught him off guard. He just needs time to wrap his head around you being back-"

"It doesn't matter," Tara replies stiffly, bending to put Evie down in the chair hopes of the stubborn man giving up the subject.

He doesn't get the hint. "He's lost a lot over the last year. That kid you both used to hang about with, Opie. It twisted him up." Tara feels her heart clench. Oh Opie, she thinks. What happened to you?

"How?" Tara breathes.

John shoots a pointed look at Evie, and whatever happened to her childhood friend is clearly too grim to repeat for young ears. "It happened when they were inside," he says softly. "Jax watched it happen." Oh Jax. Her heart breaks for him. "Not long after that Clay died."

Good. The man was a toxic piece of shit and she hoped that he got the painful death that he deserved.

"All I'm saying is that you should give him a chance to work through it-"

"Leave it alone," Tara finally snaps as her patience runs out.

John watches her with identical eyes, sad and regretful. "I just want you to be happy Tara."

Despite her frustration, Tara forces herself to bite back her rage and simply replies, "I am happy."

Tara shakes herself from her thoughts as she hears the doorbell. Taking a few seconds to calm her racing mind, she gets up and peers through the peephole, her nerves fading as she sees a familiar blond head taking a seat on the porch step. Letting out a breath, Tara runs a nervous hand through her hair and opens the door. Mindful of her sleeping daughter, Tara closes the door gently behind her and takes a seat next to Jax, careful to keep space between them.

She had spent many hours sitting on this same porch step as a teenager, waiting for her sweetheart to come roaring down the road on his bike to come and whisk her away from her depressing home.

When it's clear that Jax isn't about to speak, Tara suppresses a sigh and breaks the awkward silence. "Why are you here, Jax?"

"I'm sorry," he says softly. "Earlier.. I was an-"

"Absolute asshole?" Tara snaps. "Yes, you were."

Jax looks away from her, his jaw clenching as he pulls a box of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket. She remains silent as she watches him light one, his movements slow and methodical as his cheeks sink inwards at his first drag. Smoke curls from his lips and Tara watches mesmerized as he offers the cigarette to her. With a trembling hand, she takes it, her eyes never leaving his as she inhales slowly, watching as his eyes take in her every movement. She hands it back to him, feeling like she's fifteen again and sneaking out of the house to drink and smoke with the most dangerous teenager in town.

"A couple of years ago I looked you up," he says slowly, each word carefully chosen. "Things in Charming were going to shit, and Abel-" he cuts off abruptly, his jaw clenching at whatever memory that plagues him. "It doesn't matter. I just wanted to know that someone that I cared about was safe. When I found out that you were a doctor, I was so fucking proud, you know? I knew that you were better than this town, better than me.

"But when shit settled down again, I found myself on my bike one day and I just started driving to Chicago. It took me two days, and not for one second did I stop and think that I was doing the wrong thing." He pauses, his eyes meeting hers once more. "I went to the hospital you work at, all big and fancy, asked around for you and then I saw you coming down a corridor in your lab coat, your belly so big that you looked like you were going to drop the kid out right there." His lips twitch into a bitter smirk. "I could have got passed that, all I wanted was a conversation, proof that I didn't ruin the lives of everyone that I love. But then I saw you smile at some guy, the smile that you used to give me and then you were hugging him and you looked so fucking happy, and it broke me. I was so fucking angry Tara, you have no idea."

Tara sucks in a sharp breath. Oh Jax. She opens her mouth to explain that he's got it all so, so wrong but no words come out. There's never been anyone else, she thinks. It's always been you. But she can't say that to him. It means explaining everything to a man who cannot bear the sight of her and her fragile heart can't take another knock back from Jackson Teller.

"I had no right to barge my way into your life," Jax continues, oblivious to Tara's inner turmoil. "You have a family, and whilst I'm glad that you're happy, I don't want to see it Tara. I don't want to see you. So please, when your Dad is gone, please leave and this time don't come back."

She sucks in a harsh breath at his words, his eyes hard and tight and sad as he looks at her, begging her to just leave him be. Tara's hands tremble as she wraps them around her waist as Jax turns away from her, his expression twisted into a frown as he gets up and heads to his bike without looking at her.

"His name was Mark," Tara says softly into the night, unable to meet his gaze as it snaps back to her. She swallows against her dry throat, her heart pounds against her chest as she forces out the words that she can't bear to speak to make him understand. "He was my mentor." Tears prick her eyes as she thinks of his wicked smile and warm grey eyes. "He was my friend."

In the first few years of their friendship, they fooled around because it was easy, and though they had loved one another, it wasn't a love built to last. Tara's heart belonged to a man that she had left in a small town in California, and Mark's heart belonged to a dead woman. He was the one person in Chicago she trusted, her dearest friend and her biggest protector. He was there for her all throughout her pregnancy, even wanted to claim Evie as his own. He held her when her nightmares became too much and he was by her side during Evies birth, his smile blinding when he held her for the first time looking every bit the proud father that he wished to be. "You did great, kid," he had whispered to her, his eyes glued to the baby in his arms, and just for a moment, Tara believed that she could actually do it. Be a mom, have a family with a man that loved her daughter more than anything in the world.

She doesn't say any of this though.

A sob lodges in Tara's throat but she swallows it back. "Two weeks after Evie was born Mark was in a car accident. Died right on impact." She finally looks back at Jax, her heart clenching when she sees his immovable expression. Pushing herself off of the step, she steps back until she's against the door.

"That little girl is the only family I have Jackson," Tara says softly. "I wouldn't change a second of my life because it means that I wouldn't have her. But don't you dare throw my supposed happiness in my face and use it as an excuse to run me out of town."

Jax watches her with that same damn expression for a long moment before he quietly demands, "And Evie's father?"

Tara's lips curved into a grim smile as she simply replies, "He's dead." He watches her carefully, and whatever questions he has for her she doesn't have the energy to answer them. "Goodnight Jax," she says softly before she heads back inside.

That night she dreams of blue eyes instead of the dark ones that usually haunts her sleep.