"What are we going to do?" Lina groused as she sat with Gourry, Zelgadis and Amelia in the upstairs parlor. "I mean, at least we have so much space we can get away from her easily. But once our students arrive…"
"She can't stay here." Gourry said, "Unless we want to start watching our backs in shifts. I can see her canceling that spell to come up here while we sleep and recasting it when she goes back down."
"Well if we catch her when she does that then we can throw her out the window…" Lina mused.
"What are things she really dislikes?" Amelia asked Gourry.
"Well, she's allergic to cats," Gourry said as he scratched his cheek.
"We could get a cat!" Lina said excitedly, "We can get ten cats even! We can fill this manor with cats!"
"I wouldn't do that." Gourry cautioned.
"Why not?" Lina asked.
"She'd drown them." He said.
"Don't tell me…" Zel said.
"Then don't ask." Gourry replied.
"Wow." Lina said.
"Lady Inverse," Jeeves said as he walked in, "Your family has come to visit you. They are in the front parlor."
"Thanks." Lina said as a new sort of anxiety settled in her stomach. On the one hand, Luna might have an idea for how to get rid of Guloisa, but then Lina would have to have her nose rubbed into the fact that she hadn't thought of it first. Besides, Luna was more likely to rip her apart for painting herself into this corner in the first place. "Well, why don't you two come down and meet my folks?"
"We'd love to!" Amelia said, and the four of them stood up and walked down the stairs and to the parlor.
"Mom, Dad!" Lina said as she walked in and hugged her parents. "What do you think of the place?"
"It's huge!" her mother said as she patted her on the back, "How do you not get lost in here?"
Lina chuckled a little as her mother pulled away to kiss her on the cheek before she walked over to hug Gourry, and the look of relief on his face at her mother's gesture of acceptance did not go unnoticed. "You two taking care of each other?"
"Of course." Gourry said, "It is good to see you again."
"I see you have guests." Her father said.
"Yes, these are some friends who helped us, Amelia and Zelgadis." Lina said.
"Princess Amelia of Saillune?" Luna asked.
"Yes." Amelia said, "It is good to meet you."
The Inverses bowed, and it was a surreal moment for Lina. She could never recall showing obeisance towards Amelia. "Let's keep it casual. We're not in Saillune right now." Amelia said.
"These are my folks," Lina said, "My parents, Han and Leia, and my sister, Luna."
"Congrats on your marriage." Luna said.
"Thank you."
"Let's take a seat everyone." Lina said.
As soon as they sat down Leia said rapidly, "Please tell me those bracelets mean something!"
"That Gourry has good taste in jewelry?" Lina quipped.
"Lina!" her mother said.
"Relax, we're engaged. Happy?"
Her mother sprang up to hug them again, "Welcome to the family!" she said to Gourry.
"I see you finally drummed up the courage." Her husband added as he clasped Gourry on the arm.
"The Queen will be pleased." Luna said as she pulled out a book from her bag, "I brought this just in case. Details for you to yay or nay."
"But we haven't even set a date yet." Lina said.
Luna waved her hand dismissively, "The Queen would prefer sooner rather than later. It makes you two running a school together a bit less illicit."
"Oh." Lina said as she felt the control of her life slipping once again. But then, she'd been practically living with Gourry for years, so aside from making it legal it wasn't as though much would change.
"Now that I'm here the party can start." Guloisa said as she strode into the parlor in a grass green gown and clutching a large, matching purse. Lina groaned.
"You must be Lina's parents." She said as she stopped just before Han and Leia, who stood up.
"Yes," Han said, "Han and Leia Inverse."
"I am Baroness Guloisa Gabriev, Gourry's mother."
"It's good to meet you." Her parents said, looking a little surprised and curious.
"I'm Luna, Lina's sister." Luna said as she walked over to Guloisa and extended her hand, obviously sizing her up, and Lina started to wonder just what Luna had in her file on Guloisa.
"What charming names your parents bestowed upon you." Guloisa said, "You must tell me the story behind that."
Lina groaned as Leia explained, "I have a sister, and growing up we looked so different people didn't think we were related. So I gave them sister names so people would know that they are related."
"How quaint." Guloisa said.
"Hey," Lina said, wanting to get her folks away from Guloisa before anyone said anything about the Blast Sword, "Why don't I give you a tour? Wait till you see my bathroom! It's as big as your store!"
"Yes, I'm dying to see more!" Leia said as she stood up with the others.
"I'll just stay here. My old knees can't take those stairs. Luna, could I have that portfolio?" Guloisa asked, "I'd like to leaf through it, offer my input."
Lina went crimson at her audacity as Luna said, "No."
"But I'm the groom's mother!" Guloisa protested.
"Your point?" Luna replied coolly.
Guloisa's eyes narrowed as Gourry tried to usher the Inverses through the door, "Why don't we head on up and work this out later?"
"My point is that I am a much better candidate to evaluate the wedding plans than you." Guloisa stated.
"Wedding planning is in the domain of the bride's family." Luna said firmly.
Guloisa clucked, "Because you're a respectable lot."
"Meaning?" Luna asked as the air seemed to chill.
Guloisa opened her purse and, to Lina's horror, pulled out a projector. A very familiar looking projector. Lina felt her hair stand on end as the color drained from her face as Luna went red as Guloisa said, "Well I've certainly never had nudes displayed in the main agora."
"I'm sorry!" Lina screamed as she ran for the door, "Gotta go!"
But Luna barely noticed her sister's exit out of the room and up the stairs as she advanced on Guloisa as she whispered menacingly, "Give me that!"
"Lina!" Gourry said as he found her crouching beneath her desk in her upstairs library.
"Gourry," Lina said seriously, "I always wondered if you would really lay your life down for me. Now we will know that truth."
"It can't be that bad!" he said as he knelt beside the desk, but given his height and build there was no way he would be able to squeeze in there with her, "What was that thing anyway?"
She grabbed his hand and suppressed a shudder as sounds of the fight below wafted through the room, "Look, I was a stupid kid. Money was tight. It was always tight, but because I had so much potential my parents were doing everything they could to see I was properly educated with the Sorcerer's Guild. I swear my mom wore the same dress for a year every day, and we were still close to starving. Sis used to joke about having to dance to bring in some cash even if it would be embarrassing, and I didn't understand it was a joke and felt bad that she was thinking of doing that. We were learning about making projectors at the guild, devices that project an image. So I captured an image of her in the bath and sold the projector to some boys in town."
Gourry's jaw dropped, "You did what!?"
"Shh!" Lina said as the sound of raised voices picked up from downstairs.
"They are tearing each other apart!" Gourry said, "We have to go down there!"
"After your mom tore this wound open!?" Lina screeched, "You have no idea what Sis did to me when she found out!"
His eyes widened, "What did she do?"
Lina shuddered, "Nevermind, I don't like to think about it."
"But you've moved past that, haven't you? She already got her revenge." He said.
"Yeah, but this is one of those things where every time it gets brought up she decides to punish me again!" Lina explained, "Some stupid childhood mistake that keeps coming up to bite me every few months…or years now that I've been away!"
"Miss Lina!" Amelia said, as she ran in red faced and breathless, "You have to get down there!"
"No I don't!" Lina said, "Sis will kill me!"
"Right now the only one who looks like she will get killed is Guloisa! She just told your parents about how you two are sleeping together and that they've done a great job raising two…" Amelia blushed a little, "I don't like using that word."
"Well what are we supposed to do!?" Lina asked, "We can't evict her!"
"Too bad this manor doesn't have a dungeon." Gourry muttered.
"That's harsh, especially coming from you." Lina said. And then she smacked her palm with her fist, "Can we lock her in her room? JEEVES!"
As always, he seemed to magically appear as she called, "Please tell me there's a way we can lock these doors from the outside."
"Yes," Jeeves said.
"Perfect." Lina said, and then she looked at Gourry, "Let's do this. Jeeves, be on hand to lock her in as soon as we get her in her room."
"Yes, my lady."
Zelgadis was staring at the carnage, his face as stony as it had been when he was a chimera, as the Inverses shouted at Guloisa who, even though it was three to one, stood nose to nose with them and shouted right back. At some point it looked as though Luna had gotten ahold of the projector as it was now broken and lay scattered to bits on the floor.
Lina looked at Gourry, who nodded, and together they ran, grabbed her by an arm, and then dragged her kicking and screaming to her room. Between the two of them they managed to get her in there fairly effortlessly, and Jeeves quickly locked the door behind her. Lina and Gourry sunk down against the wall as Guloisa pounded at the door and screamed from inside the room.
After a moment they got up and dusted themselves off and headed back to the front parlor, where Luna was glared at her accusingly and Lina shuddered, "Does it help if I apologize again?" she asked.
"How did she get that projector?" Luna demanded to know.
"How the hell am I supposed to know?" Lina asked. "I thought you'd gone into town and rained your wrath on the kids who bought it and destroyed that thing years ago!"
It didn't seem possible, but Luna appeared even angrier. Lina gulped as Luna bellowed. "And why the hell haven't you shown her the front door?"
"Because she cast a bind spell on herself!" Lina replied, "We even put her in the haunted room. She told the ghost 'boo!' and went back to sleep! That woman is a nightmare!"
"You need to try harder!" Luna said, "She can't be here when you start receiving students."
"I know that." Lina said, "But unless you know a spell to remove a bind, then we're stuck!"
"Then strip her room of comforts, burn her bed, give her rags to wear and let her live off coarse bread and water and never let her change her chamber pot!" Luna said.
"She may be a nightmare but she's still my mother!" Gourry protested, "I can't let her live like a criminal."
"According to the file I have on her, living like a criminal is exactly what she deserves!"
Gourry reddened a little, "I still can't let her live like that."
Leia rubbed her temples and took a deep breath, "Give them a bit of slack, Luna. It is a delicate situation."
"This is a woman who if you give any slack she'll use it to build a noose."
Lina suddenly wondered just what was in Luna's file on Guloisa, but decided that it was not the time to ask.
"Well," Amelia said, "Perhaps the solution is not to make this place inhospitable, but to make a different place appealing."
"Meaning?" Luna asked.
"In Saillune, we provide sanctuary to nobles who are willing to give us the dirt on what is going on in other kingdoms, and gossip seems to be what Guloisa trades in. I'm sure she'd find a place in court more appealing than a home in the middle of nowhere tormenting her son and daughter-in-law a bunch of students."
"She would." Gourry agreed.
"But if she's at court, I'd have to deal with her." Luna said.
"Just put certain stipulations. She's not allowed to gossip about the Inverse family or she'll be sent to dungeons." Amelia said.
"Someone that slimy will find a way out of it." Han said.
"Do you have a better option?" Amelia asked.
"Fine." Lina said. "Gourry, Amelia, Sis, we're going to the lion's den. Everyone else, stay here."
Lina took a deep breath and opened the door. Guloisa looked at them mutinously as they filed in. Lina was so focused on Guloisa and what she was going to say that she didn't notice the flash of silver until it was too late. Suddenly it was though a blanket of pain was surrounding and compressing her. She cried out in shock as she started to fold in on herself. It had been a long time since she had suffered through this!
"Lina!" Gourry said in surprise, and then he grabbed Luna's arm, "Stop it!"
Luna did, and then she turned to Guloisa as Lina took a moment to compose herself, "Want a taste of it? Cancel the bind spell and leave Zeferia, otherwise you're next."
"But Miss Luna…" Amelia said.
Guloisa, meanwhile, smiled at Luna, "Do your worst."
Luna smirked, and then held her knife at Guloisa and channeled her will into it, surrounding her with the same painful energy she had just given Luna. But Guloisa stood still as a statue as she continued to grin. Lina felt her jaw drop a little. Since leaving home Lina had been battered, beaten, stabbed and charred, but Luna's punishments still ranked at the top of the most painful things she had ever endured.
"Is that the best you can do?" Guloisa asked as Luna lowered her knife, obviously stunned. "We Gabrievs are made of sterner stuff!"
"I see." Luna said as she put her butter knife in her pocket and sat down on the couch. A tense silence filled the room until Luna finally asked, "Baroness Guloisa, how would you like a position in the Zeferian Court?"