Well, it's a little late, but here we are. I'm going to try to stick to that 2-week updating schedule as much as possible but some things have changed in my life. The biggest thing is that I met a very sweet, amazing guy for the first time in too many years...three months before I move out of the city we've both been living in our entire lives. Life is funny like that, I guess. Anyway, I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with him before I leave at the end of May because a long distance thing isn't an option. And while he makes me very happy and I have a lot of fun, it's not very conducive to writing. I feel like that's a weak excuse but hopefully y'all can understand. I love this story so much but I'm trying to enjoy the time I have with him because I have a feeling that it's going to go by too quickly.
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Please let me know how I'm doing and enjoy!
Sage woke quite early the next day. She shuffled downstairs to throw some coffee on, staring out the window at the dark sky. Soon, she heard the sounds of the coffee pouring into the container and poured herself a mugful.
"Morning," came a voice from behind her, startling her from her thoughts. She turned, seeing Sirius striding straight towards the coffee maker. Sage moved out of the way quickly.
"Morning," she muttered, taking a sip of her coffee. "Sleep well?"
"Not particularly," Sirius said, shrugging. Sage watched as he added cream to his cup.
"Want to talk about it?" She asked.
"Not really," he said, taking a sip once he deemed it perfect. They stood in silence for a moment, sipping their coffees. "You know, that was quite a speech." Sage's eyes flickered to Sirius, who was looking at her with a soft smile.
"Thanks for having my back with Mum," she said.
"What you were saying," he paused for a heartbeat. "It was brave. You deserved the same in turn."
"Brave?" Sage laughed quietly. "Oh yes, very brave to stand up to my mother, who would have backed down eventually."
"I think that was especially brave," Sirius replied easily. "Your parents are, well, bloody amazing. But they still keep to those stupid ideas. Standing up to them when you're not used to it, that's bravery."
"That's where we're different. You stood up to your entire bloody family. That's way braver."
Sirius shrugged and took another drink, eying Sage closely before speaking. "Maybe. But there's only so much stupidity you can take before speaking out."
"Wow," Sage mused sardonically. "You just summed up what it's like being around you lot all the time." Sirius made an indignant noise as she winked.
"Coffee!" Came a groan from the doorway. The two looked to see James shuffling straight to the coffee maker. He poured a cup and drank it down in half. "Only six more months of this," he grumbled, refilling his cup.
"Then you've got Auror training," Sage reminded his slumped form. James let out a tortured groan but was spared from answering further by the arrival of Mrs. Potter, who shooed them out of the kitchen so she could start breakfast in peace.
The journey to Platform 9 ¾ was uneventful and soon, the three had spotted their friends and loaded their trunks. Sage had to pull James away from Lily (who he was snogging as if he hadn't seen her a mere 24 hours before) to say goodbye to their parents, Sirius at their side.
"Have a good term, you three," Mrs. Potter said, hugging each of them in turn. "And stay out of trouble."
"C'mon, Mum," Sage started, hugging her father as well. "Your warnings haven't worked for seven years; it's not going to change."
"Well, you can't blame a mother for trying," Mrs. Potter murmured. She spotted something over Sage's shoulder that made her eyes narrow in intense dislike for a moment. Then she grabbed Sirius' face in her hands and said, "And if you change your mind, just let us know."
Sage ignored Sirius' reply and turned to follow her mother's gaze. She saw Walburga Black surveying the family with a stony face. As the wretched woman's eyes landed on her, Sage straightened her shoulders and gave her the hardest glare she could muster. She could see Black's eyes narrow in her direction but she kept her glare steady, only breaking out of it when she heard Sirius' voice close to her ear.
"She's not worth it," he breathed, and Sage looked at his face, far too close (and not close enough).
"Maybe not," Sage answered. "But it makes me feel better." Sirius gave her a grin and threw his arms around her shoulders, leading her to the train without a backward glance at his mother.
"You don't want to get on Walburga Black's bad side, Sagey," Sirius warned half-heartedly.
"Maybe she doesn't want to get on mine," Sage answered, ignoring the butterflies erupting in her stomach at his touch. "Oh wait, too late." Sirius let out his signature barklike laugh and ushered Sage onto the train.
They wandered down the corridors like that, Sirius' arm around Sage's shoulders, until they passed a compartment in which Marlene and Alice sat with a group of sixth-year Hufflepuffs with whom Sage had been friendly during their Herbology classes. Sage ducked out from Sirius' arm and returned Alice's enthusiastic grin and wave timidly, ignoring Marlene's glare. She refused to look at Sirius all the way to the way to the compartment where the rest of the Marauders and Kylie sat, catching up.
"You two took your time," Kylie said genially, leaning against Remus' embrace.
"Sage was too busy glaring holes into my mother's face to notice the train leaving," Sirius replied, plopping down on the only empty seat beside Kylie. Sage shrugged and settled herself against her brother's legs, who looked sullen.
"Mother is a very generous title for that waste of flesh," Sage muttered darkly, before changing the subject. "Bee in your bonnet, Jamie?" She asked playfully, learning her head almost completely in James' lap to look up at him. He shrugged and continued to look out of the window.
"He's upset because Lily said she was going to sit with her friends since she's been ignoring them," Peter explained from his spot, splayed out on two seats, with an eye roll. Sage reached back to pat James knee in solidarity before changing the subject, yet again, to the party. Peter went on a long-winded explanation about how the fifth year Hufflepuff entertained him, leaving out the gritty details when Sage let out a squawk of protest. It ended with him explaining that she would be accompanying him at the next Hogsmeade weekend.
"So what about you?" Kylie asked Sage, eager to change the subject yet again. "Did anything interesting happen after we left?" Sage wasn't sure what knowledge Kylie hoped to obtain, especially since the rest of the Marauders, and more importantly James, were in the compartment. It wasn't like she, Sage, could exactly speak freely in front of them.
"Nothing much," Sage shrugged.
"Except Sage standing up to Mrs. Potter about the Courting," Sirius interjected, eyeing Sage beadily. Sage avoided his eye and began picking at the carpet.
"Courting?" Kylie asked in confusion. Sage was saved from answering by Remus, who explained the concept as if he was reciting from a book. And, as he was half-blood, he probably was.
"It's a common tradition for pureblood witches who come of age to be paraded around in hopes of finding a pureblood husband." Kylie gaped, looking back at Sage.
"And your mum is going to make you do this?"
"Not anymore," Sage grumbled. "But we had the conversation right before she left for the Prewett's holiday party."
"Is that why—"
"I was well on my way to being drunk when you got there?" Sage finished. "Yep."
"But she basically told Mum to shove it," James said proudly, patting Sage a little too roughly on the head. "I've never been so proud in my life."
"Thanks," Sage grumbled, rubbing the top of her head. Just then, the compartment door opened and Lily popped her head in.
"James? It's time to patrol the train," she said, flashing everyone a smile. James hopped up, knocking Sage's head aside with his knee.
"Oh right, see you lot later," he said, bounding towards the door.
"Remember, you can't see much with your lips fused together," Sage called grumpily, cradling her head again as she slid up into his seat. James made a rude hand gesture behind his back as he followed Lily into the hall. Sage settled into the seat, pulling her legs up to rest beside Peter's. She caught Sirius' eye, who hastily looked away.
The rest of the journey back to Hogwarts passed without incident, unless you counted the moment when James stormed into the compartment just after the trolley passed, and threw himself on the floor in front of Sage's seat, glowering at the fact that Lily still maintained that she needed to spend time with her own friends.
Soon, they were on their way back to their dorms after dinner. Sage and Kylie entered to find Alice and Marlene changing into their pajamas.
"Have a good holiday?" Sage asked pleasantly to the room, walking to her own trunk and pulling a pair of fuzzy pajama pants from it.
"Oh, it was nice," Alice answered happily, trying to defuse the tension seeping through the room. "I had tea with Frank's family on New Year's Eve."
"How did that go?" Sage asked, pulling on her pajamas and ignoring the silent figures of Kylie and Marlene.
"Quite well, I think," Alice answered. "His dad was very sweet but his mum was intimidating. I think she came round in the end."
"You must know all about intimidating mums, though," Marlene interjected harshly from her bed. "With you glowering at Sirius' all over the platform."
"Well, yes," Sage replied slowly. "His mum is a right piece of work. I'd do the same for anyone of you." Marlene made a disbelieving noise.
"Oh don't you start," Kylie said nastily. Marlene sat up quickly, as though preparing for the fight. Sage felt her shoulders slump with exhaustion.
"I think I left my knapsack downstairs," she muttered, quickly leaving the room. She hastened downstairs and found a spot on an armchair by the fire in the deserted common room. She curled in it and stared into the crackling logs, stroking the leg of her fuzzy pants mindlessly.
"Marlene at it again?" Sage jumped at Sirius' voice. She watched as he moved around the chair to slump in the armchair in front of hers.
"Yeah," Sage confirmed listlessly.
"I'm sorry," he muttered, looking into the fire. Sage squinted at him but he didn't elaborate.
"For what?"
"Had I known what would happen when I spurned her—"
"This is not your fault," Sage interjected firmly. "You did nothing wrong. I did nothing wrong."
"But if one date-" Sage slid off her seat to kneel in front of his chair. Sirius refused to look at her and she placed her hand on his arm.
"Sirius, look at me," she waited until his eyes landed on hers. "You are not an item to be passed around. You are not responsible for other people's actions. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this."
"Isn't there?" he asked softly, vulnerably.
"You are only responsible for your actions," Sage answered firmly. "And you're worth more than this."
"Than what?"
Sage smiled. "Than putting your own wants and needs after your family. It's not unloyal to take care of yourself first. We want you to be happy and whole. But you have to do that for yourself." Sirius stared at Sage for a moment, mouth slightly agape, then nodded almost imperceptibly. Sage removed her hand and stood. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Sirius mumbled. Sage turned on her heel and went up to the dorm, which was, blissfully, silent.
She slid in between her covers and stared at the ceiling of the four-poster bed, thinking of Sirius. Their relationship didn't have to change because of the kiss; she could still be there for him, as a friend, and teach him the things she learned from her parents.
Sage admired his loyalty, but she knew it came at a hefty cost. Sirius wasn't shown how to be a healthy person by his parents. He was all or nothing, black and white. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing; after all, it's what got him out of the hellhole he was born into. But the world wasn't that way. There were shades of grey that allowed him to stand up and be the man he is, while still ensuring that he didn't burn himself out.
But she, with the help of those who also love him, his real family, could teach him the art of nuances. She could show him the layers of grey that can save him.