"So where exactly is this change of scenery then?" asked Blake as both she and Negan walked along the dimly-lit hallways of the Sanctuary, side-by-side.

"Well, Christ, Peaches," hummed Negan beside her, letting out a low chuckle, as he swung Lucille from his hand between the pair of them. "You've really got no fuckin' patience have you?"

Blake gave a scoff, her green eyes darting his way, as she gave a small smirk.

He could be so annoying sometimes.

"I'm just curious is all. Is that a crime now?" she swiped back.

But Negan just raised his dark eyebrows.

"No, but you know what curiosity did to the fuckin' cat, Darlin'," he said, leaning his tall form in towards Blake slightly, causing her to roll her eyes, tutting.

This back and forth between them reminded Blake of how it had once been, back when she had first arrived here…long before Mia…or her return to Alexandria…long before she and Negan had been, well….anything.

They turned a darkened corner, as Negan dragged a hand over his bearded chin, giving a heavy sigh.

At this, Blake eyed him carefully.

"Have you actually slept since you got back from the outpost?" she asked questioningly, her gaze roving across his long and tired-looking features.

She knew that Negan wasn't really one for getting much sleep anyway….but he looked far more worn-out and exhausted these days than he had before Blake's birthday….as though everything now was weighing heavy on him.

Perhaps just the same as it was weighing heavy on her….

Blake hadn't really considered that perhaps she wasn't the only one lying awake at night, tossing and turning, unable to sleep.

But Negan grimaced a little, shrugging his broad, leather-clad shoulders easily.

"I'll sleep when I'm fucking dead, Doll," he muttered with a small scoff, striding along on his long legs.

But Blake narrowed her eyes gently.

"At the rate you're going that'll probably be sooner than you think…" she murmured back, pursing her lips a little reprimandingly.

But Negan just licked at his lips, giving a grin and turning to face her. "That a threat?"

Blake rolled her eyes once again.

"You know what I mean," she tutted, nudging him affectionately with her hip.

As much as she pretended not to, Blake really did care for Negan. A lot.

Nothing would change that. Not now. Not after everything.

The pair of them turned another corner as Negan looked her way for a brief moment, before nodding over towards a rickety-looking metal stairwell at the end of the long corridor up ahead.

The two of them had already made it up to the sixth floor….a space full of disused dusty rooms, barely frequented by anyone. So Blake didn't quite understand what would be yet another level up from this.

"Up there?" Blake asked, glancing at Negan a little warily, as the pair approached the staircase.

But Negan just gave a nod, coming to stop at the bottom, his chocolate eyes peering up at the small wooden door, covered in peeling paint, at the very top.

Blake watched as the dark-haired man chewed on his lip, grinning.

What was he up to?

She narrowed her eyes in his direction yet again, before grasping the railing beside her and stepping forward.

If he was planning to kill her he'd have done it by now...so this wasn't some elaborate plan to send her to her death at least…

But what the hell else would be all the way up there?

But there was only one way she was going to find out.

And so, taking a steadying gulp of air, shoving past Negan as she did so, Blake climbed the set of metal steps one at a time…before reaching the door at the top.

She brushed down the back of her shorts, her eyes moving down the door before her….raising her other free hand to the rust-covered door handle.

But before she could make a move to open it, Blake suddenly jumped out of her skin, as Negan, suddenly let out a harsh sigh from behind her.

"Jeez, Darlin'! You really gonna take all fuckin' day with this? I've got shit gettin' cold up there," he said in a loud, teasing voice.

Blake twisted her head around, eyeing him a little bemusedly over her slender shoulder.

At this their eyes met for a second, and Blake felt her entire body warm, her breath catching inside her throat.

How the hell was she ever going to get over him at this rate when he still made her feel, well….like this…

She turned back around, letting out a small huff of her own, before slowly shoving open the door….

…her eyes suddenly widening at what was on the other side…as she took a step forwards before she could stop herself, walking out onto a small flat rooftop.

It was dark up here, but a small kerosene lamp sat in between what looked like two camp chairs, on a small wooden crate that had been tipped on its side to create a low makeshift table.

But the lamp wasn't the only thing on the crate…for next to it, was a plate piled high with homemade pizza as well as a six-pack of dented beer-cans.

Blake stared about, parting her lips in sheer disbelief. Just as their came a sudden voice, low and growling into her ear.

"A change of scenery, Doll," uttered Negan, nudging her shoulder with his, as he pushed gently past her, causing Blake to stare up at him, titling her head.

She couldn't help the butterflies that were currently swarming inside her stomach right at this moment, smelling the musky scent of leather and whiskey and oak on the air as he passed her…

…and it didn't take him a moment, to ease himself down into one of the low camp chairs with a heavy groan, setting Lucille down at his side.

He cocked a sudden eyebrow up at Blake, smirking arrogantly.

"You gonna join me, Sweetheart?" he quirked, his chocolate eyes twinkling in the reflection of the lamplight.

And Blake couldn't help but smile for a second, biting down upon her bottom lip, before walking slowly over towards the set of chairs.

Had Negan set this up for them?

Blake certainly didn't see anyone else around.

She lifted a hand to her face, self-consciously brushing dirt from her cheek, feeling ever so-slightly dirty and underdressed for this, still in her denim shorts and vest, with her flannel shirt tied around her waist.

But why?

This wasn't a date, right? What did she even have to feel silly about?

This was just two friends…eating pizza together….that was all.

Although she didn't know the last time anyone else had done anything like this for her, ever.

In fact, over the short couple of months that she had known him, Negan had done more things to make her feel special than David had ever done in their entire six year relationship.

The caramel blonde woman chanced a glance over to the dark haired man to her right who had already picked up a piece of pizza and taken a huge bite, before dropping the slice back down onto the plate beside him.

But he obviously felt her stare, as not even a second later his gaze flickered to hers, a grin sliding its way across his long features.

"I just thought, considering you spend so much of your fuckin' time so low to the fuckin' ground these days," he said in a growling voice. "You might wanna enjoy a different view tonight."

The dark-haired Saviour lifted his eyes skyward monetarily, causing Blake to do the same, her eyes drifting up to the now-darkened sky above their heads.

She let a gulp slide suddenly down her throat, seeing a deep indigo sky, dusted with shreds of pink and purple tinged clouds.

It truly was beautiful and Blake felt her heart pound…her mouth going dry.

She didn't deserve this….

She didn't deserve any of this…

Blake looked quickly back at Negan…but she was no longer smiling now, her eyes sad, as she parted her lips gently, making to speak…

But before she could say even a word, she stopped suddenly, to find Negan already looking back at her…the same subdued and pained expression now painted across his own features, talking suddenly before she even had the chance to.

"Listen…all that shit with the kid…." the dark-haired man suddenly began, blinking hard. "…with Mia…hell, all that is on me. And I can't tell you how truly fuckin' sorry I am, Peaches. From the bottom of my fuckin' heart."

His words were earnest, as his eyes dropped from her face momentarily, sucking in a deep breath before continuing.

"When I sent her away, I thought I was doin' the right fucking thing," he said, lifting his eyes skyward once more. "I mean, this goddamn hell-hole ain't no place for a kid like her. But I was wrong…and I regret it every fuckin' day."

He paused again, his eyes meeting with Blake's as a lone tear drifted its way down her cheek before she could stop it.

"I could see how much bein' without her was killing you, Darlin', and yet, back in those fuckin' woods…I pushed you the fuck away…and I am so fuckin' sorry for doin' that…." Negan finished, a deep frown littering his brow now, as he shook his head, looking angry at himself.

But Blake rubbed her lips together for brief second, her eyes never leaving Negan's face.

"I'm sorry too…" she murmured, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke. "I-I was hurting and said things that I didn't mean that night...I just…I-I loved her…and I thought that she was my only chance to have a something I could take care of….to have a baby girl…who I could love…."

She trailed off, as two more tears slid their way down her face.

"...when I had those miscarriages…all those years ago now…..I don't know, I thought maybe it was my fault….like I'd done something to deserve it…." she said in a quiet voice, shaking her head, hurting so much right now. "…so maybe Mia…it was my fault too….karma for killing David-"

But Negan's frown darkened upon his brow now as his dark eyes roved across her upset features.

"Peaches, do not for one fuckin' moment regret what you did. Shit, I saw those goddamn bruises on your arms the moment you strolled into my life. I could see that you were fuckin' hollow inside, ground down to shit by that son-of-bitch, day in and fuckin' day out. You never shoulda' been his…and my biggest regret, above anything fuckin' else….….it's that I didn't find you sooner, Peaches."

Blake wiped at her face now, giving a small sob as she stared up into Negan's eyes...so earnest….so regretful.

And she agreed with every word that he said.

She wished that her life had been different.

That Negan had found her years ago…back when the world went to shit...maybe even before that. Long before the bruises and marks appeared on her skin….long before the cruel words scarred her from the inside…

Blake chewed on her lip, willing the tears to stop falling now…as she spoke gently.

"You've made this place my home, you know that, right?" she uttered shaking her head.

And Negan suddenly dropped his eyes to his lap, nodding slowly.

But Blake faltered for a brief moment, her eyes falling, too, down to her hands that were clasped over her bare thighs, feeling yet another few tears swim from her eyes, landing on her knees.

He was her everything and she truly wished she could tell him how she felt. But all this.

She couldn't have happiness again. Not like she had all those weeks ago with him and Mia…

A life like that was a pipe dream for someone like her.

Negan had people here he needed to protect…he had his wives…people he had to be there for…

And so Blake…as much as she was grateful to him….she knew that all this…it could never be more than just a hope…a day-dream of a life she had imagined herself having.

She was the woman with the abusive ex…the woman who had come here and become a queen…once upon a time at least...…

But if Negan had wanted her to become anything more than just one of his wives…he would have told her so, a long, long time ago….

And so perhaps this was just the way it was meant to be.

"You've given me everything, Negan…and I'm so thankful to you for that….I always will be…." she gave a gulp now, painful and hard, before nodding and sucking in a deep breath, swiping away the tears that lingered on her cheeks hurriedly. "But now…"

Blake steadied herself slightly.

"…..I am gonna eat this pizza, and look at the stars…and hopefully I can manage more than one of those beers without getting too tipsy tonight."

She gave a small encouraging smile, as Negan gazed up at her.

He was silent for a brief moment….a sad kind of tension still clinging to the air…before his face softened slightly once more, and he let out a small appreciative chuckle.

"Sounds good," he sighed out, shifting down further in his seat and clasping his hands over his torso, lifting his eyes skyward once again.

Blake's green gaze roved across his features now.

He did look tired….but certainly that weight seemed to have shifted off his shoulders since their conversation just now.

This was hard for both of them…and Blake ached.

She couldn't help how much she wanted to feel him close to her right now. Feeling his body, tight against hers. To feel his lips pressing hot kisses to her burning skin. To hear him whisper things into her ear she been dying for him to say for oh-so long.

But she tore her eyes finally away, giving an consigned inward sigh, before taking a slice of pizza from the plate and taking a huge bite…..

….as her eyes drifted, once again, up to the starry sky above….

More coming soon. We'll be back to teasing Negan and Blake next chapter.

I hope that was ok? Angst is angsty I'm afraid, but *hopefully* something nice and fun will come soon.….if you'd all like that?

Thanks to xojade, nfarrell1995, sreid045, CrimsonSurvivor, ElysiumPhoenix, Hmc09, Guest, rissbenzo, CLTex, Hannah, angelvoice15, SimplyxXxMeraki, Guest, Moonlightchaser, Guest, JasminJW and Zombae1 for commenting.

Someone recently asked me if I had a Negan and Blake playlist. Anyone have any songs in mind that remind them of this fic? Just thought I'd ask... :)

Please review, if you get a spare moment to. I'd appreciate it so much.