It had been a cold and gloomy day at the Sanctuary, and even by the time late evening came around, the storm raging outside did not seem to be relenting.
A hard rain lashed at the high factory windows, and Saviours of all ages had huddled together in the large food-hall long after they had finished with what little dinner they had been able to earn. All of them wanting to keep warm and be with one another on a night like this.
It had been the same all afternoon too, with a strange sense of community filling the normally-bleak Sanctuary…
….also helped by Blake's presence.
The tall, blonde woman had spent the last few hours walking around, chatting and catching up with people, some she knew from the gardens, and some she only recognised in passing, all of which had been happy to stop and talk with her as she handed out inch-squares of chocolate brownie pieces to some of the children who had shyly thanked her.
Some of the younger girls and boys had even asked her to join in a game of duck-duck-goose they were playing, which she had happily obliged them for a little while as the kids ran around her shrieking, tiring her out completely.
The whole place really did feel like home to Blake these days, and even on a dark stormy evening the building felt far more of a place she could give her forever to, far more than Alexandria, or even her apartment back in the city with David, ever had.
The large canteen tonight, as the hours had ticked by, had been frequented by almost everyone….
…even Tanya and Frankie had come down here for a time, catching up with Blake a little, enquiring interestedly about her hurt foot and how much trouble she had gotten into after they had left her with Negan the other night…but even then, they had only lingered for a short while, Tanya eagerly taking a square of brownie, before heading upstairs once more…
She had seen almost everyone tonight…
…all apart from Negan and his higher up lieutenants that was, who seemed to be nowhere to be found this evening. Their often looming presence around the hall a grateful absence tonight, as everyone seemed a little more buzzing with excitement and spirit than they normally were.
Perhaps Blake would try and convince Negan and the others to loosen up on these people a little.
Once upon a time she would have doubted that she would have any influence on their regime at all. But now, after everything, these last couple of days, Blake well and truly felt like top of the pack.
She was liked around here by the majority of the Sanctuary residents, but she could hear in their voices a certain level of respect they seemed to hold for her…treating her like royalty.
But that definitely wasn't what she was. She was just a normal woman.
Back in reality…in her past life…. she had worked in an office doing admin work and had gone home each night to her crappy apartment in the bad side of town.
Back then she had been grey and hidden in the crowd. Nothing special. Just…no-one.
But here and now, she was more than that.
She was a golden light to Negan's pure darkness, shining through, bright and clear, for all to see.
Not that Blake would have ever have painted herself in that way. Her cheeks flushing a bright pink colour the moment anyone spoke to her with even the slightest amount of reverence in their voice.
All she wanted to do was to make this place good, and self-sufficient, so that she, and Negan, and all these people here, could live out whatever they had left of their days happy…well, happier than the last couple of years had been anyway.
It was late now, and having said goodbye to the folks downstairs in the dining hall, Blake, still in his pretty floral dress, clutching the almost empty tray of brownies to her, slowly made her way up the winding staircase.
She had already been past her room…past Negan's room too….and yet there still was no sign of the dark-haired Saviour anywhere to be found.
There was only one other place she could think to look for him.
And so, skimming her slender fingers along the railing, Blake reached the landing to the sixth floor, shoving open the door at the top and heading down the long and gloomy corridor alone….
Just ahead of her, a shaft of warm yellow light shone out from a crack beneath one of the doors, where low muffled voices could just about be heard.
Blake gave a sigh now, as she finally paused outside the large oak panelled door, brushing down her dress once again to make sure than any flour that stull might have lingered there was gone, before lifting her hand and giving a gentle knock.
A second or two seemed to pass before a loud and gruff-sounding 'come in' was heard, Blake recognising the growling voice immediately as Negan's.
God, how long did these meetings of his take? She knew of course that he was a busy guy, but even so…
But Blake did as she was told, turning the handle and opening the door slightly, peering curiously inside.
And there, within Negan's 'office', housed with a large wooden desk that she immediately spotted that the Saviour himself was sat behind, and three rickety wooden chairs facing it, which today held, Simon, Arat and another lieutenant named Gavin (that Blake had had very little to do with until now).
All four of them looked up at her as she entered, Negan himself giving her an almost award-wining smile, as he leaned back in his chair easily.
"You alright, Peaches?" he asked in a low and drawling voice, his chocolate eyes flickering over her face questioningly.
He had obviously not been expecting her, but looked far from annoyed by her presence that was for sure.
But Blake merely nodded, giving a small smile and lingering by the door.
"I'm not disturbing you am I?" she enquired gently.
But Negan merely gave a wave of his hand, beckoning her over.
"Not at-fuckin'-all, Darlin'," he uttered, lifting his bearded chin slightly, as Blake smirked in return, padding over towards the four Saviours, each of them looking more rugged and haphazardly thrown together than the last.
"Good," she murmured in reply, ignoring Negan, knowing of course that he would want nothing more for her to go over to him and sit on his knee like a good little girl in front of his loyal lieutenants. But instead, she hurriedly moved over to the desk, placing down the tray of dessert and removing the crinkly foil from the top. "Because I saved you all the last pieces. One for Arat, Simon, and lastly Gavin."
And with that, Blake glanced up at the three awaiting generals' show all sat up in their chairs a little looking excitable, but knowing full well how much of a rise her last comment would get out of Negan. But she barely acknowledged him now, teasing him on purpose as they always manged to do to each other.
Simon was the first to reach for a square.
"Wowee," he said with a wide grin, his moustachioed face lighting up. "Now these look delicious!"
Arat and Gavin each took a piece too, muttering words of appreciative glee as they did so, just as Blake chanced a glance at Negan who had his dark eyes narrowed and fixed on her bemusedly.
But before their gaze could linger upon one another for too long, Simon made a noise.
"Mmmmm, god, now that is fucking good!" he said tossing the last of the dessert into his mouth and making an appetising face. "You make these?"
And as his words, Blake just smiled, placing one hand to the rear of Simon's chair and putting her weight onto one hip.
"Mmhmm," she murmured in a drawn out voice, as Simon looked up at her, giving a small smiling nod of his own, opening his mouth to speak.
"Look, I know that you've turned him down and all," he said with a fleeting nod over at Negan. "…but y'know, if you ever wanted to become MY wife…I mean the offer is there…"
Almost immediately and without even glancing his way, Blake new for sure that Negan's eyes were now dark, his tongue dug deep into the side of his cheek staring daggers at his right-hand man.
But Blake just gave a simple smile, wrinkling her nose. Almost delighted that she wasn't the only one here with the ability to wind the dark-haired man up.
"Y'know I think I'm gonna have to pass," she said in a sarcastic voice, pretending to wince a little as Simon gave a chuckle of approval. "But thanks anyway."
But not a moment later, before Simon had even finished with his laughter, Blake felt a strong hand suddenly wrap itself around her wrist, and with a sharp tug, the hand had pulled Blake backwards around the desk…
She knew of course who it was, the pouting leader of the Saviours letting out another giveaway growl from behind her.
God, jealousy really was not his strong point was it? First Danny this morning and now Simon…
But now Negan, who had obviously gotten to his feet to grab for her possessively, sat back down with a huff, tugging Blake backwards into his lap, with a squeak leaving her lips at the contact.
She gave a pout, turning her head towards him a little reprimandingly…of course ending up where Negan had wanted her to be all along…
…but Negan threading his leather-clad arms easily around her waist, now addressed his men, and Arat, as though Blake wasn't even there.
"Right, so we all fuckin' know the plan for tomorrow," he barked curtly. "We get in, take what's ours, and any trouble, you bring the culprit straight to me, we clear?"
Simon, going back to looking straight-faced and obedient in the blink of an eye, gave a certain nod of understanding.
"Crys-tal, Boss," he muttered in reply, as Arat and Gavin each gave their fearsome leader a nod of their own.
Blake pursed her lips together, readjusting her position upon Negan's knee slightly as she gazed over her shoulder at him, giving a small questioning frown. But she didn't utter a word, merely a receiving a stern glance from him in return, as he lifted his gloved hand at his men, waving them away.
"Good. Then alright then were fuckin' done here. I'll see you in the mornin' bright an' early," he said with a dismissive tut in the direction of his lieutenants as they took the hint, getting to their feet and slowly filing out of the door one-by-one, before Gavin finally pulled it closed behind him with a gentle snap…
…leaving both Negan and Blake alone.
And it barely took a second for Blake to shift around on Negan's lap, shooting him a dark look.
"So what is the plan for tomorrow, hmmm?" she asked suspiciously, her hand sliding around Negan's leather-clad collar.
But the dark-haired Saviour merely pressed his lips together into a thin line, staring up at the blonde woman with a hint of something less-than-telling in his brown eyes.
What was he keeping from her?
But there was only one place that Negan was sure to try and lie about now. Only one place that he knew full-well would hurt her to talk about…
"You're going to Alexandria, aren't you?" she murmured in what was barely a whisper, her green eyes roving across Negan's bearded face now.
But the dark-haired man gave a guilty-looking nod in return, his eyes flickering down to her middle for the briefest of moments before he stared back up at her.
"Shit, Sweetheart," he confessed in a low voice. "It's the monthly offerin', and if we don't go-"
But Blake cut across him before he had the chance to say another word….
"It's ok," she murmured in a soft voice, wetting her lips gently with her tongue and staring down at him with earnest eyes, her fingers trailing up to the nape of his neck and threading themselves through his dark hair. "Really it is…"
And Blake was telling the truth.
She knew Negan had a job to do. And she had seen first-hand at the Hilltop how important it was to keep things running smoothly. That way, no-one had to get hurt.
And even now, Blake had not been able to forget what her people back in Alexandria had done…accused her of lying about David….lying about being abused….and to her that was unforgivable. Especially considering the people here in contrast had been oh-so welcoming to her. So when comparing the two groups of people, it was strange to think which of them she automatically wanted to side with these days…
Negan just gave a sigh now, his calloused fingers skimming around Blake's waist, holding her in place.
"You wanna come with? Have a bit of a blast from the past?" Negan asked her in a questioning voice, parting his lips as he took every inch of her in.
But Blake almost immediately shook her head, wrinkling her nose as she did so.
"I don't really think it's a good idea," she said, her eyes drifting away from his face now, looking a little distant. "I'd rather not see those people again if I can help it."
She gave a heavy and sorrowful couple of blinks feeling slightly bitter as she thought of those folks she once considered friends back there in Alexandria….Tara…Aaron….Eric…
"That fair enough," said Negan, taking in every hint of sadness that seemed to linger upon Blake's face now, reaching up and running his gloved thumb over her cheek and causing her to look his way once again. "But hell, if you change your mind, Darlin'…you an' me make a fuckin' good team, and you know for a fact that Rick'll be shittin' his pants if he saw you strollin' on in there, lookin' like a goddamn badass."
At his words, Blake couldn't help but smirk, rolling her eyes now as she turned her head towards the desk, spotting the tray of brownies.
She reached over and pulled them towards her yet again, easing out the very last square that remained. Of course she had saved one final piece for him.
"Hmmm, well as tempting as that sounds," Blake mused in a coy-sounding voice. "I think I'm good…for now anyway…"
And with that she held the final square of brownie to Negan's mouth, as he took it from her fingers, showing off his wide white teeth as she did so, in a grin.
Blake felt her entire body warm now, as she leaned into him, hearing him gave a groan of pleasure at the taste of the morsel of dessert she had fed him.
"Mmmhhhmmmm," Negan purred out. "You truly are my fuckin' dream girl you know that?"
Blake felt the tops of her cheeks redden slightly, as his chocolate eyes drifted over her face, gazing at her almost awe-struck by her appearance.
"Not only are you hot-as-fuck, have a tongue that gives me the best head I think I've ever fuckin' had," said Negan with a devious grin dancing its away across his bearded mouth. "But you are also a goddamn amazing cook."
Blake gave a small tutting laugh at his words now, her entire face brightening.
"Nice to know I have some great qualities that really define me as a person," Blake uttered in a voice dripping with sarcasm now, as she slapped Negan's shoulder scoldingly.
But he just grinned, jiggling his knee slightly, causing her to scowl down at him playfully, looping both arms around his neck.
There two of them fell silent for a long moment or two, merely enjoying this rare time alone together.
If Blake was honest, despite it being only a few hours that they had spent apart, she had kinda missed him.
God was she crazy for that?
But she was almost past caring now. Feeling totally and utterly, more in love than she had ever felt with anyone, ever.
This wasn't the unfulfilled, hopeless love and devotion she had felt for David.
This was something new for her. Something that tugged at the back of her stomach, causing her to ache when she awoke, finding him beside her each morning…the feeling of happiness flooding every inch of her as he pressed scratchy kisses to her cheeks….
This was love.
Dangerous and world-encompassing.
And Blake only hoped than one day, Negan might feel the same.
He of course had never told her how he felt about her….never quite managing to get the words out that Blake oh-so wanted him to say.
But it almost hurt her to think that, in this world, perhaps Negan had no time for love.
Perhaps he, like she had, had lost too much for that. To make that gesture now, after everything.
"You coming to bed?" she asked after a second or two had slipped them both by.
And Negan paused for the smallest of seconds, before letting out a long carrying breath and nodding.
"Yeah, sounds good," he replied, skimming his hands down her sides now.
He looked more tired than usual, and Blake knew that they could both do with an early-ish night after their long day.
And despite pair of them always seeming to have a great fizzling sexual tension, Blake knew that it wouldn't hurt to have a night without sex.
And so, reaching down and grasping Negan's hand in hers, getting silently to her feet, Blake pulled the dark-haired man from the chair and over towards the door, pausing momentarily to allow him to snatch up Lucille from her position near to the window.
And it didn't take the pair of them long, hand-in-hand, laughing, flirting (as always), to make it back to Negan's room….without even a single word to each other about where they were headed, both of them just...knowing.
"…how the hell did you get by with just three pairs of shoes, Negan?" she scoffed, as they entered the room, flicking on the light-switch, as Negan almost immediately settled himself with a stiff groan down onto the edge of his bed, bending down to ease off his biker boots, as Blake chanced a bemused glance his way. "I get not having many these days, but back then…?"
But now it was Negan's turn to roll his eyes.
"Well shit, Darlin'! I had better things to be worryin' about than how many goddamn pairs of shoes I had in my fucking closet. One pair of boots for every day, one for weddings and dinner an' shit, and one pair for work. An' let me guess, you were the type of gal with one of those walk-in closet's full of 'em stacked up high."
But Blake shot a frown his way now as she padded into the bathroom.
"I wish. No," she murmured, disappearing out of sight. "But I probably had about twenty pairs of shoes. Mainly high heels for work and stuff."
Negan gave another carrying scoff, that Blake was sure to hear, hearing the faucet switch on now and the sound of running water as she clattered about inside the bathroom.
"Jeez, Peaches, I wish I'd have seen you in your fuckin' heyday, wigglin' down the street in a tight skirt and high heels, looking like a million goddamn bucks. Mmmm hmmmm."
But Blake reappeared after a second or two around the door, a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth, pulling a face.
"And what?! I don't look like a million buck now?!" she asked in a goading voice, her eyebrows up in her hairline, staring at Negan expectantly. "You're such a charmer, you know that?"
Negan gave a chuckle at her attitude, shrugging off his jacket, as she disappeared around the bathroom door yet again.
But a minute later she was back, in just her underwear now, crossing the room towards the dark-haired Saviour, who was now in bed, naked of course, running a hand over his tired eyes.
The caramel-blonde woman, giving a tiny yawn, flipped off the main light and moved to the bed, lifting the cool sheets and climbing up into the plush big bed beside Negan, who barely relented for a second before tangling his arms around her and pulling her close to him.
In the dim quiet of the bedroom, with the only sound filling the room now, being the rain, lashing hard against the windows, Blake felt Negan press a kiss into her hair, his fingers gliding their way over her smooth skin.
"I'll probably be gone by the time you wake up tomorrow, Peaches," he murmured in a grizzly voice.
But Blake merely let out a soft purr, as her fingers drifted up to Negan's hair-smattered chest, coming to rest there gently. Comfortable.
"Wake me to say goodbye," she said in a just whisper. "Please."
And Negan didn't even bother to reply, merely tugging her just that little bit closer to him now…
...holding onto her tightly, almost as though he never wanted to let go.
Thanks to rissbenzo, Guest, booboo, CLTex, Guest, Jam86, angelvoice15, SassyPrincess14, Hmc09, WickedlyMinx, fearthewalkingdead15, Nedstark39, Guest, Guest, angelstuffing and Guest for reviewing.
So I'm going to admit something, after a receiving a couple of hurtful and crappy reviews this week on here, and on tumblr, I've not been very up to updating. It's hard to find motivation when you know there are people out there who find so much fault, are actively disappointed in your writing, and dislike your fics so much, that they would leave a review telling you about it. I know that I should take criticism on the chin, but it's hard. And right now I just want to give up entirely.
Yes my fics are cliché and often cheesy, but I like that. I like writing that silliness and predictable shit we all really want to read. Like I want Blake to be a baddass. I want them to get Mia back. I want her to be a Mom one day. Is that so bad….I dunno….probably.
*sighs* Yes I use the same old tropes and lines to describe my characters. Yes she has caramel-blonde hair. I'm sure that does get annoying and I'm sorry. But she is a made up OC. She's medium-build, tall, with green eyes and tanned Caucasian skin. I like to be pretty vague when describing OCs because people like to identify with the character, some even often picturing themselves as that OC. But I'm sorry if that's a bit crap and lazy of me. I'm not a professional.
And finally, yes, my storylines might have gone downhill. And I'm really sorry about that. I've tried to pump out at least three chapter a week since April/May (I think), and I'm trying my hardest. Sometimes fillers are needed and I want Negan and Blake to fall utterly in love. It's a slow burn.
I really can assure you that there are FAR better Negan/OC writers than me on tumblr and on this site. This was my first TWD fic and it was really never meant to be more than 20 chapters. And I do have some good ideas on the horizon, I promise.
So I'm sorry, to everyone.
Perhaps I should give up. Perhaps start on something els, another fic in another genre…go back to Deadpool or something I'm probably better at writing.
But perhaps I'm just tired….
And I'm sorry if this chapter was rubbish. I've been trying to write it since Monday and just feeling too down to.
But thanks to those who have left really positive reviews lately. I'm probably just being stupid but I've had a shit few months and seeing a couple of hurtful reviews have made things spiral downhill a bit again for me.
Nevermind. Hopefully I'll be able to get out another chapter soon. I'm just not sure if and when I'll feel up to writing it.
Anyway, I adore you all. And thanks to those who have made it this far. I really appreciate you reading along. (And I'm so so sorry that my rant was almost longer than this entire chapter!)