AN: So, like a lot of people with grade school aged kids, we've had to make some hard decisions about what to do school wise. Since all four members of my family are high risk due to disability, we're taking covid seriously and not taking any chances, so basically I'm homeschooling them. I feel more prepared then when I had to abruptly do it when covid struck, but my business initially took a hit with the transition to telehealth, and it has since recovered, so I am working at full capacity while homeschooling my kids.

Writing is an outlet I very much need, especially since so much of my time is spent caring for others. But realistically this is likely going to cut into my time, so updates will likely be slower. Anyway, take care and stay safe. One day at a time. Somehow this will end.

Naga had stayed in the castle for longer than she had intended to, healing mangled bodies, sponging off months' worth of grime and stink and feeding the liberated hearty broth. The work felt endless. As soon as she'd gotten one person healed, bathed and fed there was always another one waiting, even with the number of people they had devoted to caring for them. Naga heard that it was a similar story in the agora. Torture camps had been set up throughout the city to heal wounded Mazoku, and when the other kingdoms had liberated them they were similarly overrun with tortured souls. The work simply had not ended once the battle was won.

Nerys strode up to her, holding a clipboard and looking exhausted as she barked, "Maeve has ordered that we start taking shifts. She assigned you to C shift, so you can go and rest now. There's a sign in the hallway that tells you when to come back to work."

"There's too many for me to take a break." Naga protested.

"Everyone needs a few hours rest if we're going to keep this up. Who knows how long it will take to get the relief aide from the other kingdoms."

"Well you mere mortals may need a break, but I don't! I can survive off fumes!" Naga boasted to cover for the fact that she did not deserve the bliss of rest. Ever since Tesla had died, she had not believed that she deserved the bliss of anything. Tesla had died after Booley had mistaken her for Naga. The fact that she continued to live while her mother died in the attack that had been meant for her never left her, but usually she could bury it better. But tonight? She was too exhausted. And with each helpful action she took, all she could think of was how Tesla would have done it better.

Nerys's eyes narrowed, "You're not impressing me with that bullshit. If you don't get some rest now then you'll be too tired for when you're due back to be of any use and we'll have to carry your weight once more. Go. Now."

Naga reddened, "What is it with small redheads and…"

"All you're doing is wasting my time." Nerys said as she walked away, and Naga huffed and tried to hide how much her words stung. A waste. All she had ever been was a waste. She'd been a miserable excuse for a royal, too shy for navigating the politics of the court and easily outshone by her much younger sister. When she vowed to learn to overcome that shyness after her mother's death she'd decided to make her mark as a sorceress by defeating Lina. And it was obvious now how poorly that had panned out.

Naga shut her eyes for a moment to wish the shame away, and then she took a deep breath. She needed to find Moe. She looked over at the woman she had been feeding, who was staring at her through half closed eyes. Naga set the bowl down and pulled the blanket over her and said. "You can rest safe now."

"I don't think I'll ever feel safe again." She replied, even as her eyelids grew heavier. Given all she had been through she must have been exhausted. Indeed, keeping many of the citizens of Dils awake while feeding them had been a challenge.

"You are surrounded by the best warriors in the world, even if they are overbearing and bossy. Tonight, you can sleep safely."

Her eyes closed as her breathing became deep and even, and Naga stood up and started walking to the hallway. Many of the students had already set up bedrolls on the floor and were drifting off to sleep, but some were still up and whispering to each other. Hyacinth was more than whispering as she cried to Susan, "I'm sorry. I had no idea what was happening in Dils. There's no way you would have ever helped them…"

While it was tempting to lose her problems in someone else's, Naga kept walking until she found the hastily drawn schedule. She took a moment to note when C shift would start and then she decided to head to the main agora to find Moe. She tried to summon her usual bravado. After her mother's death it was easy to stop caring enough about potential embarrassment to be outgoing. But at the moment she felt so exhausted that she simply couldn't fake it. And if she wasn't so tired it would have been terrifying to walk around so unmasked.

Why had she even branded herself Lina's nemesis in the first place? What had she been thinking? She was a fool to think she could best someone like Lina. Lina had real talent, the type that someone with something to prove developed that someone born to privilege never could touch. And while she would bury the truth deep within her, at times like this it bubbled painfully to the surface.

Somehow she'd managed to do a good enough job that Lina had trusted her, somewhat, with her hard earned prestige. But despite her efforts with the golem, Naga wasn't sure that she had a future at Maninstit. And if she didn't have a future there, then where could she carve one out?

She crossed the bridge into Gyria City proper. Despite the late hour plenty of people were still out and about. Some were singing off key songs of celebration as they crowded around storefronts while others hurried about on business. Other than to assure herself that none of them meant her any harm she ignored them until one said, "Princess Gracia?"

Naga stopped and warily looked at who had addressed her. The city was well lit that night with dozens of light spells and before her she saw a man whose once nice clothes were battleworn. She didn't recognize him, meaning that he likely was a lowly count at best. She put her hands on her hips and tried to summon some of her bravado, but felt herself falling short as she said, "Yes?"

"Baron Verv." He said as his eyes shined eagerly. So he wasn't even a Count. But it soon became apparent what it was he wanted as he continued, "From Aqueia. We met back at Harvest Day some years ago."

"You must not have made much of an impression." Naga bluntly stated, hoping to dissuade him from continuing.

He moved close to her. A bit too close. "Oh, I was no one then. There was no reason for a princess of your ranking to look at me twice, even if you were too awkward to properly step into your role."

Naga blushed. But she couldn't deny that she deserved it as Baron Verv continued, "But now? Well I just lead the troops that liberated the southern camp. Dreadful business, but I expect to get a Dukedom for my efforts since the king's son wouldn't step up."

"Congrats." Naga said.

He took a moment to look her up and down, "I'm looking for a wife."

Naga had enough left within her to give her best laugh and ended it with, "I'll put a good word in."

"Don't be so coy." He said, "At the age you're getting, it's not as if you're going to get a lot of better offers."

"I got to be unmarried at this age because I had no interest in it." Naga stated, wondering at the gall of the young Baron before her to even suggest it. But then, was it really anything better than what she deserved? Because of her, Tesla was dead. Did she really deserve the happily ever after with Moe, teaching at Maninstit? Somehow, she would mess it up. Happy endings didn't exist for people living on someone else's stolen time.

Baron Verv considered her carefully as the idea took root. And he smiled as he added, "The Dukedom of Kanter is rich and prosperous. And I would appreciate a strong wife who can rule it."

Naga knew she should laugh and turn him down flat. But at the moment, she couldn't bring herself to cut off an escape route. All she could do was say with a resigned air, "Ask me tomorrow."

"I look forward to your reply. Now if you'll excuse me, I think we both need some rest."

Baron Verv's footsteps quickly faded away as Naga stood there and wondered what had just happened. And then she jumped when Moe said evenly, "I guess this was the inevitable outcome."

Where had he come from? And how long had he been listening? Naga turned to glare at him as she asked. "What makes you think I'm seriously considering his offer?"

"If you were going to reject him, why wait till morning?" he asked as Naga realized that it was possible to feel worse than she already had.

"Moe…"

"I get it." He said quickly, "I'm a peasant after all. I could never be more than a fling. Anyway, I'm going to get some rest. Good night."

Naga stared after him for a moment as she wondered how the day had gone so wrong on a personal level. She glared at the people singing a song of celebration and yelled, "Shut up!" They ignored her as she started to walk back to the castle to get some sleep, wishing the whole time that she had died instead of Tesla.

The clouds shown red as they passed rapidly overhead, causing the world to be bathed in a fierce amber glow as Lina laid the twins on a blanket. She looked to her right and saw Milina standing over them, arms folded and still as a statue. As always, she was present but distant. If she was moved by the sight of the twins she did not even so much as crack a smile. Luke, on the other hand, was grinning from ear to ear as he picked Midas up and said, "Well, you and Gourry made some cute babies. But the ones my lovely Milina and I would make…"

"Finish that sentence and I'll cut your tongue off!" Milina snapped as the reddish hue intensified as Lina reflected that not even death had drawn them together.

Luke gulped and started to cradle Midas as he said contemplatively, "I'd always thought I'd be a good dad. I mean, I'd be so cool and he'd want to be just like me!"

"Until he became a teenager." Lina quipped.

"Hey Lina." He said as the flesh suddenly melted from his bones. "Since you took my life, doesn't it seem fair that I should take your child?"

Lina shot up in bed, and put her hand around her mouth as she stifled a cry. The minutes dragged on as her heart raced and she gradually found her bearings. It had been a dream. Just a dream. Only, she'd not dreamt of Luke and Milina since she first settled at Maninstit. Why was she dreaming of them now?

Lina looked beside her at Gourry, who was still asleep. For all she knew he was getting important information, so she didn't want to wake him. She resisted the urge to cuddle up to him as she turned away from him and curled up and started to let her tears fall. Luke and Milina had had a life full of adventure. But they never had the happily ever after. And when Lina did take a moment to think of it, it seemed bitterly unfair. So she usually tried not to think about it.

Aurelia started babbling from her crib, the sound bittersweet to Lina's ears. Even after loss, there was the promise of new life. But only for those who had survived. Lina took a moment to listen to the nonsensical sound as she allowed herself some time to wonder why. But then she started to worry that Aurelia would wake Gourry. For those who had survived, life continued relentlessly.

Lina looked out the window and saw that while there was still a good hour or so before it was time to wake up, it wasn't really worth going back to bed either. So she dried her eyes and got out of bed and picked Aurelia up and smiled at her. "Good morning." She whispered.

Aurelia smiled at her, and Lina smiled back through her sadness. Luke and Milina would never meet the twins. And the twins would never meet them. That all four of them were such a big part of her life that would never overlap felt wrong. "You ready for some breakfast?"

"Gaa!" Aurelia cooed as she grabbed at Lina's mouth.

Lina stole a glance at Gourry and was amazed that he continued to snore softly. She quickly made the decision to further test their luck, and she quietly tiptoed out of the room with Aurelia. Aurelia snuggled against her, and her weight and warmth lit a beacon of warmth within her to help steer her through the sadness. Until she thought about how Luke, who had been so desperate for love, would never experience something like this. And how did she deserve to experience this comfort when she had killed her friend?

Luke wanted me to stop him, she reminded herself. It didn't take the sting away.

Lina was glad when she reached the kitchen. Nelly would likely be up already and preparing breakfast, and Lina longed for some conversation to distract her. But when she walked into the kitchen she was surprised to see that while two people were in the kitchen, neither of them were Nelly. The two women greeted her brightly, and once Lina got over her shock she said, "Mom? Sylphiel? What are you doing here?"

"It's been awhile since I got to cook a good breakfast. And since there are so few people here right now I decided to give Nelly a break and take over for a day." Leia explained as she stirred a bowl while Sylphiel kneaded bread as Lina sat at the table and got Aurelia to latch on. "Imagine my surprise when I got down here this morning and found that Sylphiel had been up with contractions."

"What!?" Lina exclaimed, "What are you doing down here then? Shouldn't you be upstairs in bed!? Has someone sent for the midwife?"

Sylphiel smiled as she shook her head, "They're not that bad and they've only just started to be regular, eight minutes apart. The past few nights I had some practice contractions that never went anywhere. So it's too soon to tell if these will progress into something to send the midwife for yet."

"Oh, okay then," Lina said, "Only why are you baking bread?"

"It's what women in Saillune do in the early stages of labor." Sylphiel explained. "It's calm and relaxing, it passes the time. And once the baby arrives they serve the bread in celebration. I may not be from Saillune, but I liked the tradition and decided to keep it."

Lina looked at Aurelia and thought about how they had been so preoccupied with ensuring that Xellos did not sprint her children away that there'd been no room for birth traditions. Not that Lina could see herself baking bread. She'd never made a loaf of bread in her life and had no interest in learning! But as she looked at Sylphiel, radiating calmness while bathed in a healthy glow, it was hard to not be envious of the tranquility of the moment that was definitely lacking when she had given birth. "Is that something they do in Zeferia?"

"No." Leia said, "But the men would stand outside the door and sing a song of welcoming and thanksgiving for a safe delivery once the newborn's first cries are heard."

"They did that in Sairaag as well." Sylphiel said as a cloudy expression suddenly darkened her face.

"What is it?" Leia asked as she put a hand on Sylphiel's arm.

"Oh, I'm fine. I was just thinking of what a fine voice my father had. He was a powerful tenor, and he used his voice so well in his work as a priest. I'd always pictured the song he would sing when I delivered my first child, but that will never happen now." Sylphiel said as her voice became strained, and Lina wasn't sure if it was with the heaviness of the emotion or from a contraction.

"I missed my parents when the girls were born." Leia said, "Times like these bring attention to the ones we've lost."

"My father. My mother. All of my friends." Sylphiel said as she wiped tears from her eyes, "I should be so happy right now, but then, it also doesn't seem fair."

Sylphiel's voice trailed off abruptly as if she dare not finish the thought she had. But Lina knew exactly where she was going. "You don't have to explain." Lina said as she stared at Aurelia and tried to figure out why she was feeling relieved. But then she realized it was because she was not the only one grappling with survivor's guilt. And then Lina understood why she had dreamt of Luke and Milina after so long. Talking with Maeve had stirred up some feelings so usually kept buried. "I'm grateful for my life, but it's hard not to question why we lived when so many people we cared about did not."

"Goodness, Lina," Leia said as she started to spoon the pancake batter on the pan, "It's better not to get lost in such questions! Life can be cruelly unfair at times. That's why you have to seize every bit of luck you can find and not question it. And Sylphiel, your father would have wanted you to survive. He survives through you, and through this child you'll bear soon."

"I know that." Sylphiel said, "But so many of my friends, they never had children. Who do they live through?"

"You, and the stories that you tell." Leia said. Sylphiel nodded resolutely, but given the way her lips pursed it was obvious that she was not convinced, that she simply did not want to argue.

"It's strange, because I was dreaming about some comrades of mine who had died, and thinking about how they never got to settle down and have children." Lina said. "I wondered why I was dreaming of them, until I thought of Maeve and how distressed she was after her victory. And for awhile, it was enough to me that the students were surviving. But now I wonder about the burdens they'll bear along the way. Because it seems like this survivor's guilt never fully resolves, does it? I thought the guilt I had over Luke had resolved, but suddenly, just like that, there I am dreaming about him again."

"Maybe there's something we can do, some way to help make it better." Sylphiel as she braided the bread.

"How can we do that for Maeve when it's so hard for us?" Lina asked. "I mean, I've moved forward. Obviously. But then something like this happens, and suddenly I feel like I did two years ago. And it's discouraging. I don't know that I'll ever fully leave that time."

"Well, life has a way of moving forward again even when we're wallowing." Sylphiel said as she put the bread on a wooden pallet, "I think my water just broke."

Leia gasped as she walked up and hugged Sylphiel, "I'll finish putting the bread in the oven for you."

"I think I'll be fine here for a bit longer." Sylphiel said, "This seems like a slow progression and…"

Sylphiel cried out as she grasped the edge of the counter and leaned forward slightly. Lina smiled to herself as she realized that Sylphiel's labor was picking up, and to distract her from the pain she said, "Have I ever told you about the time when Amelia nearly got us all killed when she preached justice to a cult worshipping Shabrangidu?"

Sylphiel took a deep breath as she straightened and looked at her watch, "Well, that got my attention. That was barely six minutes from the last one."

"Looks like you're little one is about to get moving!" Lina said, and then she smiled at Aurelia, "You're about to get a new friend!"

"Lina, take her upstairs and get one of the men to fetch the midwife." Leia ordered, "I'll take care of things down here and be up as soon as I can. I'll also send breakfast up."

Lina looked at Leia in alarm, "You want to leave me alone with a laboring woman!?"

"Thank you." Sylphiel said as she started to wash her hands. "And Dame Lina, there's still lots of time. I'm sure if you keep telling me about Princess Amelia's hijinks that will be all that is needed until the midwife gets here."

"Right." Lina said a bit uncertainly. Sure, she'd been through the whole rigmarole, but that didn't mean she was in any ways qualified to catch a baby or to help if something went wrong. But she could at least distract Sylphiel from the pain with her stories, "Come on then, we have six minutes to get you up those stairs."