I just want to say that I'm so sorry to those who think I'm dragging this out (storyline/fic). I guess I just like a slow burn fic...and thought maybe you'd all prefer more chapters/'Nake' interaction rather than to get straight to the point with stuff. But I'm really sorry. I never want to make this boring for you all. :( But I do hope you have enjoyed it all so far at least?
Anyway, let's get on with the fic shall we?
By the time Negan had returned to his room later that night, he had found it be to be void of any trace of Blake, and the following morning, despite waking early by his standards, Negan had gone to the blonde's room down on the second floor, to find it empty, despite the bed having looked like it had been slept in.
Today, on this gloomy grey and misty morning, dressed in his usual leather jacket, black boots and grey pants, with a belt slung around his hips, Negan, with Lucille swinging from his hand as he went, had entered into the large dining hall. Only to see Blake sitting on a bench at the far end of the chaotic and busy room, with Mia sat up next to her, stuffing a piece of toast into her tiny, yet already full, mouth.
Negan dragged a hand down his bearded chin almost instantly, his heart dropping into his stomach.
He fucking hated arguing with Blake like this, and almost immediately after the blonde woman had walked out of the kitchens last night, Negan had regretted his words. Although he certainly did not think he was in the wrong here.
Like he had told her. He wasn't fucking blind, and he could see that she hadn't been herself lately.
And as gorgeous as she was, heavy bags lay under her eyes and her normally sparking orbs looked duller that normal.
But it wasn't just that.
To Negan, she seemed like she was holding herself differently. Looking like a porcelain doll, that if knocked over, would shatter into a million pieces.
He watched her now run a hand through her long tousled blonde hair, her elbow on the table as she smiled down at Mia who was, as always, babbling away at a million miles a second about nothing and everything all at the same time.
Fuck, he loved her. Blake.
But perhaps him showing his concern for her in that way last night was the wrong way to go about things.
But this needed to be addressed, one way or another. He needed her to be well….to be safe...
Because he knew that, after losing Lucille, he would not be able to take another loss in his life like that.
For after years of feeling like a man, broken, full of anger and hurt…..
...Blake had fixed him, healed his heart and made it whole again.
"You enjoy your lie-in, boss?" came a sudden voice just over his shoulder, causing him to blink, swinging his shoulders around to cock an eye at the questioner.
Simon was stood there now, blue shirt on and thumbs threaded through his belt loops, coming to stand at Negan's shoulder, surveying the room with him.
But Negan gave a scoff.
"Now what the fuck makes you think I have time for shit like that?" said Negan in a very unamused voice.
But his right-hand man paid no mind to Negan's tone, giving a sniff and nodding over towards the table at the far end of the room where Blake was sat.
"Just thought you were takin' it easy this mornin' seein' as your gals were up and out without you," the mustachioed man said in an easy voice. "Seven-foot Pete said she was up with the larks, cleaning up the kitchen floor before dawn. Said he got down there, to find her finishin' up. Said somethin' about makin' a mess last night."
Simon gave a grin, side-eying Negan.
"You two have some fun down there after hours, boss?" he said waggling his eyebrows.
But Negan gave a growl, suddenly rounding on his friend and lifting Lucille to Simon's chin intimidatingly.
"Did I ask you to stick your nose where it doesn't belong, Si?" he snarled.
Usually dealings with Simon never ended in the threats that Negan presented to his other lieutenant on occasion. But this morning the dark-haired Saviour was NOT in the mood.
But Simon, barely flinching and keeping his chin raised, shook his head.
"Apologies," he said in a clear voice.
Negan lingered for a long moment, before he backed off once more, letting out a long and tired huff.
He hadn't slept well at all last night.
The nightmares had only become worse. Blake's endless screams continuing on and on for what seemed like hours...with Negan waking in a sweat at least two or three time throughout the duration of the night.
And so taking a deep breath and knowing that something needed to be done about all this, the dark-haired Saviour, with Lucille hanging limply from his hand, paced slowly over towards the long table where Blake and Mia were sat. Leaving Simon where he was stood without another word.
The blonde woman quickly looked up upon seeing Negan approach, but to his dismay, she did not smile at him, Negan seeing a gulp trail it's way down her slender throat.
Shit, was she still pissed at him?
But Negan didn't have time to dwell on this now as he came to stop just in front of their table, his lips pressed into a firm line.
"Hai Eggy," said Mia sudden breaking through the awkward moments-silence. "I eatin' towst."
With that, the teeny girl, with unkempt messy hair today, sitting there in little pink smock and spotty leggings, brandished a floppy and half-chewed piece of toast up towards him.
Negan couldn't help but give a smile at this, his eyes twinkling at the toddler.
"I can fuckin' see that, Beansprout," he replied, his eyes drifting over the mass of crumbs that covered the table before her.
But Blake, turning herself slightly in her seat to face away from him, focused her attention on Mia instead, lifting the little girl from beneath her arms and pulling her onto her lap.
The caramel blonde woman was today in a pair of black jeans and a cozy-looking flannel shirt with her hair half up and half down. But she seemed to look at strained as ever, with hollow dark circles beneath her eyes.
"Come on, Sweetie," Blake said in gentle voice, ignoring Negan completely. "Eat you toast, then we'll go."
But as Negan gave a frustrated frown at her words, and as Blake stood, hauling Mia with her, the toddler gave a loud, crying wail.
"Noh, I noht reddy!" she squealed, kicking her legs out wildly, as Blake looked utterly forlorn, dropping the teeny girl back down onto the bench before her hurriedly.
Normally Mia acted like an angel around Blake, but today perahpsthe little girl was having an off day.
And from the looks of it, the same could be said about Blake too….
...as in the blink of an eye, as though in reaction to Mia's outburst, Blake had shaken her head, placing both hands to her face, dropping back down onto the bench beside Mia with a plop, and given a small sob.
Negan, his face filling with concern, moved hurriedly around the table to her, as several nearby Saviours looked their way, obviously curious what all the fuss was about.
Blake's head was now bowed low and her shoulders hunched, with both hands drawn down into her lap, her beautiful face awash with tears, as Negan came to crouch before her on his long legs, a frown lingering between his brows.
He took her hand gently, and to his relief she did not flinch away.
"Peaches, c'mon," he urged her in a low voice, of course knowing that his gentle affection for her had indeed gained the attention of most of the Saviours in the gigantic dining hall right now, with the room falling almost completely silent.
But Negan did not really care.
His focus now on one person, and one person alone.
He rubbed Blake's soft fingers with his own, as her tear-filled eyes finally met with his.
Right now she looked utterly lost and far from the Blake he knew and loved.
"Wot 'rong, Bwakey?" came a sudden voice from their right, Negan looking up to see Mia, clmering swiftly over Blake's legs, placing her tiny hand to the woman's shoulder. "I sowwy. I didn' mean ta make yew cry!"
And with that, Mia placed a sloppy kiss to Blake's tear-strewn cheek, causing the woman to give a small sniff and pull Mia close, cuddling her in a one armed hug, resting her head against the toddler's comfortingly.
"Darlin'," Negan uttered once more, drawing the blonde's attention back to him finally. "Go an' see fuckin' Carson...hell, I'll get him to come to you if you want."
Negan's chocolate eyes searched her face for an answer.
But Blake merely chewed on her lip, pondering his words for what felt like the longest moment.
It was obvious she knew that there was something wrong….and no excuses about her being tired would cover this one.
But even so, she tried to push his help away yet again.
"I've got to take care of Mia-" she murmured, shaking her head once more.
But Negan cut across her quickly, sucking on his teeth in frustration and need.
"I'LL take beansprout for the mornin'" he pressed in a firm tone and lifting his chin in seriousness. "And you're gonna go see Carson."
Blake opened her mouth hurriedly as if to speak, but Negan stopped her before she could do so.
"I ain't arguing' with you again, Sweetheart, we clear?" the dark-haired Saviour said with a frowning growl, digging his cheek with his tongue and looking from side to side, before he gazed back to her once more. "Look I fuckin' love you, Peaches. But I'm not against throwin' you over my damn shoulder and haulin' your ass over to the doc myself. So go."
With that Negan reached out, hauling Mia carefully into his arms, before getting stiffly to his feet.
"Beansprout an' I will be fine," he continued as Mia pressed her chubby little hand to Negan's bearded face with great interest.
And Blake, staring up at the pair of them, finally, to Negan's relief, gave a solemn nod, as though she was committing herself to a dreadful fate by agreeing.
But nevertheless, she stood too, looking as fragile as Negan had ever seen her.
But it made the tall saviour happy that she was finally agreeing at least. Which after their argument last night was something Negan never thought he would manage to corale Blake into.
But there was something different about her today. A resignation of sorts. As though she knew what was coming…
Like she knew what fate was likely to behold her behind Carson's door….
But Negan's eyes were still on hers now, as, jostling with Lucille and Mia in his leather-clad arms he managed to lift his free hand to Blake's face, still sticky with tears.
"I can come with ya-" he offered.
But Blake, cupping his hand with her own, shook her head.
"N-No, I'll go….." she said before pulling away from him gently, giving Mia's leg a gentle squeeze as she went, before leaving the room…
...Negan and Mia watching her as she went.
And it was only when her tall, leggy form had disappeared around the door on the far side of the room, did Negan stare about, realising now that almost everyone in the room was staring at him….
….as he stood there, with a concerned look upon his face, and Mia on his hip.
But Negan, cocking an eyebrow up towards the lot of them, leaning back on bended knees and surveying the room, suddenly spoke.
"Can I fuckin' help you all?" he said in a loud, carrying, sarcastic tone, as people suddenly began scurrying to and fro, getting back to what they had been doing before.
It took all of Negan's effort now, not to roll his eyes, as he hitched Mia a little further up onto his bony, belted hip and turned to her.
The pair were of course a huge contrast to one another, the teeny girl in her pink dress with chubby cheeks, still clutching onto her soggy piece of toast for dear life. And Negan, tall, dark haired and intimidating, a picture in black.
"Wher Bwakey gonn?" enquired Mia after a brief moment had passed, and after Negan had let out a short huff.
He mused for a second before answering. "Well Peaches, has got an urgent appointment with the Doc-"
"Peechiz…" repeated Mia in a whisper, gazing at Negan's mouth as though mesmerized by his words.
But the bearded man gave a chuckle at this.
"That's right," he said watching the toddler carefully. "So I guess it's just you an' me for a lil' bit, huh?"
Mia, her fingers fumbling with the collar of Negan's leather jacket gave a nod.
Shit, the kid was sweet, and even in the short time she had been here had taken on plenty of Blake's gestures and habits, staring at him doe-eyed, causing his heart to contract slightly.
"Well, good." he nodded, gazing about the room for brief second, before looking back to her finally.
"So, Beansprout, you wanna come with me an' make sure my empire is in tip top fuckin' shape?" he questioned, raising an wicked eyebrow in the toddler's direction. "Crack a few fuckin' skulls?"
And at this, Mia gave an excitable nod, obviously enthused at the prospect of spending the rest of the morning with Negan.
"Yesh. Bat wat cwakin skwuls meen?" she asked in curious voice, her mouth hanging open in a small o-shape.
But Negan gave another chuckle at this, knowing that Blake would kill him for teaching the kid shit like this, and so he didn't quite have the heart, or the balls to answer THAT question
So instead, reaching up with his free hand, he grabbed Mia's hand that had been holding the toast, lifting it to his mouth and taking a large bite.
Mia, at once, gave a squeal of laughter, causing many of the surrounding Saviours to look his way once more.
But Negan just ignored them.
"C'mon," he muttered with a mouth full of toast, finally turning on his heel and heading out of the room with a bemused grin plastered across his scrubby face.
But across the Sanctuary, far less happy was Blake, who stood in the long gloomy hallway, with one hand pressed flat up against the door in front of her, and her head hung low, staring at her shoes.
For she knew what this was…
What all of this was.
And inside, she had always known.
For days she had tried to fool herself that she must be wrong...praying that it was something else.
But Blake had had these symptoms before…
Twice before now, in fact….
And as much as she had tried to pretend that this was tiredness….exhaustion….lack of an appetite….
She knew almost for certain what it was. What she had feared would happen to her in this brave new fucking world….
And so, resigning herself to her fate, Blake lifted her head, letting out a long steadying exhale, before knocking on the door with a firm- RAT-TAT-TAT.
Swiping the newly-fallen tears from her cheeks as she waited…
Thanks to angelvoice15, rissbenzo, calh, Jokerlover13, AllieRoexxx. Masquerade04, AsToldByNi, LJH, michelleandjoe1234, Moonwolf27, CLTex, MJ, alliesmiley2, Nicole, JasminJW, Guest18, ElysiumPheonix, kagomesdance and dominantdemonbutler22 for commenting.
Please review if you can, I'd really appreciate it. I hope it was ok. :)