Cosima feels tense, in a constant state of alert. Her body and mind refuse to relax in the days that follow her meeting with Delphine, and the feeling only grows, despite the amount of weed she smokes. She has tried to impair herself, forcing her mind to shut down, her body to loosen, but as soon as the effect of the herb goes away, she's back to where she started, if not worse. Days go by too fast for her liking, the date for her next appointment at DYAD approaches quickly and the closer it gets, the worse Cosima feels.
For a moment she wonders if it's the secondary effect of the inoculation, but dismisses that thought when she remembers that this is the first time it's happened to her. She has never felt this way in the few days preceding her scheduled consultation, and the only valid explanation she finds is the information that Delphine has given her. Apparently, waiting to voluntarily inject more poison into her bloodstream is something she doesn't feel quite comfortable with.
In these past days, Cosima has given a lot of thought to what her former doctor said. Part of her feels guilty about judging Delphine so harshly. If it's true what the human has said, and if, in fact, she had no knowledge of the full extent of the effects of the inoculation, then she is as free of guilt as Cosima herself. But, on the other hand, the vampire's instinct tells her that Delphine wasn't entirely honest with her; that there's more to it than what the doctor has shared with Cosima, and that is something she can't forgive. If there's more, and Cosima is certain there is, then that was the perfect opportunity for Delphine to tell her, to disclose everything she knows, and instead, she made the conscious decision to keep it from Cosima.
Cosima could consider this decision in light of what Delphine has revealed about her personal life. The vampire is well aware that the victims of the attacks by her species are not just those who lost their lives to satisfy the hunger. Those who are left behind to pick up the pieces of shattered lives are not left untouched by the violence. Or those victims of failed attacks, usually carried out by inexperienced vampires, who, blinded by their thirst, with their senses dulled by the ecstasy, have left their victims in the brink of death, but not quite past it. The reports of said attacks are numerous and, while in the previous eras they were easy to disguise, in a time when technology reigns supreme and every move is watched, this is not so easily covered up.
Whichever situation Delphine experienced, it would've been traumatic, but that's no reason for the blonde to keep what she knows to herself. Not if she's comfortable enough to work in a field where she's surrounded by the same species that attacked her; not if that didn't prevent her from telling Cosima what she did. And definitely not when, even after Cosima had shown the doctor a glance of the beast that lays within her, Delphine still had the strength to push back.
No, there's something different about Delphine. She's no victim, or she refuses to label herself as such. But she isn't one of the bad guys either, at least Cosima doesn't think so. The vampire believes Delphine to be somewhere in the middle, taking no sides, choosing no allies, and in the world they live in this could be the most dangerous position to be in. She should know; Cosima herself sits in that same position. However, there's a significant difference: Cosima has abilities that Delphine's doesn't. Being a vampire, and an old one at that, has granted her a sort of immunity from blatant attacks, keeping undesired attention away. Delphine's is human, there's nothing keeping however feels like it from going after her. The doctor is in a much more vulnerable position than Cosima with no weapons of her own.
This may explain her decision not to tell Cosima all she knows. Information is Delphine's weapon, the only thing she can use to her advantage. Was not telling Cosima a way to protect herself? It could've been, although the vampire doesn't know what she did to cause the doctor to be suspicious of her. It was obvious that Delphine is not intimidated by the old vampire, unafraid to stand her ground and push back when she felt she should. Delphine doesn't feel threatened by Cosima, but she doesn't trust her either. That's the only reasonable explanation the vampire finds for the doctor's actions.
Their previous meeting consumes Cosima's thoughts. Between trying to make sense of the doctor's actions and the information she was given, the vampire had little time to think about her own investigation into the activities of the elders. Not that there's been any new developments. Felix, despite remaining in touch, has said nothing regarding Shay's suspicious getaways. While Alison's contact has only called the nervous vampire trying to arrange a new way for them to "meet up and pick up where we left off", to which Alison has politely declined with an awkward laugh.
The day of her appointment, Cosima makes herself leave the house in the afternoon, after delaying as much as she could, intent on continuing her treatment, despite what Delphine has said. After all, the doctor had painted an ugly picture of what would happen if she missed it.
She stands in front of the imposing building, watching patients, like herself, come and go and she hesitates. Cosima walks in the direction of the front door only to step back and return to the sidewalk on the other side of the busy street.
Half an hour later, she's walking away. She can't, in good conscience, keep doing this to herself; not after what she knows. Cosima has been fighting one addiction for two years now, something that's essential to her survival. The beast inside her is demanding, and it's never been easy to keep herself from caving to the bloodlust, even with the shots. They keep her alive, but do very little to quash a hunger that is always present, waiting for a moment of weakness to come out and control her. Surely, this won't be worse. If Cosima can fight against her nature, she can also fight against a need that's been artificial created.
Delphine continues to have problems finding her space within her own research team. They look at her sideways with a depreciating frown at every suggestion she makes in order to improve the formula and find success.
It's a weird balance, and she doesn't know how long she can sustain it. If it's true that she doesn't believe in the work she is involved in, it's no less important to continue to show interest for it, being the only way to maintain the position she is in now. Despite the fact that there are several teams working on different projects, they are not self-contained. If she justifies it, Delphine can have access to other projects, even if heavily redacted, all because of her newly appointed position.
She feels incredibly frustrated with this whole situation, but it isn't until she gets home that she allows that frustration to come out, for no one to see. It doesn't get better when Ferdinand is starting to breathe down her neck. After she was given the promotion, he's been more demanding. He wants access to all the projects, all the formulas, information on all personnel involved. And while she has been able to give him information regarding her own project and team, the others have been proven difficult to obtain. Not surprising, security is tight, making it impossible for Delphine to waltz out of DYAD with such sensitive information.
She had agreed to work for The Company as a means to an end. It was the easiest and fastest way for her to infiltrate DYAD, knowing that with them in her corner she would rise quickly. However, in her eagerness, she'd misstepped, hadn't considered what they would require from her. She was thoroughly convinced she could stay out of the petty rivalry between DYAD and The Company, she had no horse in that race. Delphine didn't consider that in using one to infiltrate the other, she was already taking sides in a battle she would prefer to see them both lose.
She's bent over the microscope, observing another failure, the vampire's blood cells being vaporized by yet another improvement to the formula that's proven too strong, when one of the security guards of the floor calls her name on the other side of the table.
"Dr. Bowles has requested your presence in her office," the massive man says without another word.
"Did she mention what for?" Delphine asks, snapping off her latex gloves, hiding her concern.
"On the top floor, Dr. Cormier," he states mechanically and turns around.
It's not the fact that Marion wants to talk with her that is unusual; Delphine talks with her superior daily. It's where that leaves her uneasy. Marion, for the most part, spends her days in the basement lab with the other scientists, supervising their work, and making herself available for any questions they might have. The only time Delphine's been to the upstairs office was when she was offered the promotion, nearly one month ago.
The same redhead woman is sitting at the desk in front of Marion's office smiles at her, one of those well practiced smiles that manages to reveal absolutely nothing.
"Go right ahead," the secretary says in a pleasant, low voice. "Dr. Bowles is waiting for you."
Delphine thanks the woman with a forced smile of her own and knocks on the door twice before letting herself in.
Marion's sitting behind her desk and raises her head to look at the other woman, gesturing with her hand for Delphine to take the seat on the other side of the table. The blonde does so and waits while Marion finishes reading whatever is in front of her and signs on the bottom of the page, closing the folder after and crossing her arms on top of it.
"Delphine, it has come to my attention that you've been experiencing some… difficulties working with your colleagues," Marion starts in a clear, disciplined voice.
Delphine takes a short moment to decide what to say. If she lies and denies it, it would be easily disproved, especially when it's obvious that someone has already spoken with Marion. But, if she confirms it, it could very well mean the end of her short promotion, her boss is not about to dismiss everyone who's worked in the project for so long in favor of its junior member.
"There have been some issues regarding the road to take," Delphine admits, playing it down. "But it's something I'm sure it's due to my adaptation to the team," she adds immediately. "I'll be more careful in the future."
Marion sits back and crosses her legs. "I don't know if I want that," she says in the same calm voice. "Far be it for me to be the one who's going to censure your work. It would be silly, you see, there's a reason why there are several people working on the same research and not only one. Different perspectives means a wider vision of the problem," she continues, the palms of her hands up on stretched arms. "Besides, we want our collaborators to thrive, and censoring different ideas is not a good way to run any sort of business, let alone the type of work we do here, where divergent opinions can be proven very fruitful."
Marion stops and her eyes land with intensity on the young doctor, waiting some sort of response. It could be a trap, Delphine reasons, a set up to see how far she's willing to go in the way she disagrees with her co-workers. Or maybe Marion's being candid, she certainly sounds that way and her arguments are compelling.
"I agree." Delphine takes a calculated risk, nodding her head slowly, her stare holds the other woman's. "But I also know that it can create unnecessary friction and, if that's the case, I'll start keeping my opinions to myself."
Marion chuckles softly and shakes her head. "No, no, no… I appreciate the offer, but that won't be necessary," she says, reaching for a stack of folders on the left side of her desk. "In fact I want just the opposite."
She slides the folders until they rest in front of the blonde, who looks at them with a curious raised brow. "According to several reports, you've expressed the need to explore the possibility of tackling the problem taking in consideration the…" she moves her eyes to the computer screen, "individual conditions of each patient", she reads.
Delphine sits more on the edge of her seat. "That's correct," she says. "I believe, that considering the heterogeneous quality of the group, we shouldn't be studying them as a whole."
Marion's lips twist up in a small smile. "Basically what you're implying is that we should design a cure for each of our subjects individually," the woman puts it blatantly. "Now, as you're probably aware, you won't find many advocates for this position. For one, it would be an impossible task. Even if we only consider those who've been registered on the databases around the world, we are still talking about tens of thousands of individuals." She points out, not in a dismissively way, but exposing the problem that they face. "And on the other hand, this would be economically unviable, the number of scientists involved in such a massive project would make it extremely expensive. The government is willing to spend money to solve this problem, but there is a limit."
"I'm very well aware why this idea would sound so unappealing," Delphine says, allowing some of her irritation to show.
"Quite!" Marion sounds decisive for a moment, but in just a split second something changes in her expression and it becomes more affable again. "And yet, I do see merit in it. And while it doesn't present us with a long term solution, I think it's something worth exploring."
Marion lowers her eyes to the folders she has parked in front of Delphine. "Those are the files of patients I'm leaving to your care, seven in total," the older woman continues in her strong voice. "If your research shows promising breakthroughs, we'll widen the net and I'll put a couple more scientists working with you, under your supervision, but for now you're on your own."
Delphine looks suspiciously at the pile of files, but she doesn't touch them. "And I answer to no one but you?"
"That's right! In fact, I would prefer if we keep this between just the two of us for now. I'll talk with your team and inform them that you were assigned to another project," Marion explains and then, seeing the young scientist hesitating, she laughs freely. "Relax, Dr. Cormier! This is good news for you! If you succeed we can use your research in the future and if you fail… well, it won't come as a surprise to anyone."
Delphine cocks her brown, still not entirely convinced. "And I'll have all the access to these patients?" She finishes by tapping on top of the folders.
Marion nods. "You'll need their blood samples, of course, and I'm also giving you all the information we've collected since they've come to us, as well as the steps of their treatments." She says persuasively, a large smile on her lips as she notices the blonde finally convinced. "This will be your project."
The older woman guides Delphine back down to the laboratory floor, the blonde carries the files in her arms, close to her chest and places them on the top of the table in the small corner space that she'll call her office from that moment on. Other scientists on the floor observe the movements, some openly showing displeasure, but no one dares to question what's happening, not while Marion Bowles is the one leading the young doctor.
Eyes are still on Delphine when Marion leaves and she curses under her breath for the absence of doors and walls that would guard her from those snide stares, while she sits on the ergonomic, white leather chair behind a big white desk. She looks at the folders still stacked on top of each other and that Marion has made abundantly clear that are not to leave the institute premises, and she decides to give them one first glance before she has to leave for the day. She wants to know how long these patients have been in the program, thinking that the longer the better and also needs to know who she has to talk to in order to obtain the blood samples.
As promised, there are seven of them, the thickness of the folder vary, depending on how long they have signed into the program. Dirty yellow, with a white label on top of the front of the folder, their identification number is scribbled by different hands. Three of them are familiar, former patients of Delphine when she first started to work at DYAD, but her eyes remain pinned on one alone. 324B21.