Like a tiny miracle, it was as though Mia's presence in the small medical room changed everything.

The room felt brighter and warmer and far more full of joy and laughter than it certainly had been of late. Even if those smiles and that laughter came only from the little girl.

Blake had wept for a long while, hugging Mia close and listened intently as the toddler told her all about her last three days without her.

It was a wonderful thing for the two adults to have heard Mia's slip, finally calling Blake her Mommy. And Negan knew there definitely wasn't a better person for the job.

But as the minutes slipped by into hours it was very obvious that, as awake and responsive as Blake was, speaking softly back to the small girl sitting on her lap and crawling all over her legs, Blake's green eyes not seem to quite meet with Negan's.

But still, despite this, Negan stayed there, by their side, resuming his position in that chair at Blake's bedside, not saying a word.

For what could he say...he was at a loss. Wanting only to hug her and kiss her and hold her to him.

But with her avoiding his eye, this obviously wasn't the right moment.

Hell, perhaps she hated him...

Perhaps she blamed him….

But either way, he wasn't going anywhere. He would fight for her love it that was what it took.

He needed her. And any life without her, wasn't worth being in.

Negan sat there watching the pair as eventually Mia, her head nestled beneath Blake's chin, fell asleep, as did the blonde woman holding her.

And the dark-haired Saviour took this chance for his eyes to drift over Blake's beautiful features.

Shit, he loved her, with every fiber of his body, not caring about the bags that sat beath her eyes or the slimness of her face now.

She was every-fucking-thing to him. As was the tiny girl snuggled into her.

They were his family and after everything he had lost in his life, from Lucille, to the baby no longer with them, they were the important thing now. The thing he needed to fight for.

Negan blinked his eyes closed before he could stop himself, drifting off himself.

He hadn't slept in days and soon his thoughts and cares were replaced by a dreamworld…

Here he felt himself tied down in the blackness as he called their names….

...Blake…

...Mia….

...then a third name that he would not remember when he awoke. The name of his baby, the child he would never get a chance to meet.

But Negan found himself rooted to the spot, shackled, unable to move...looking down to his hand to find that his baseball bat wasn't there either.

He struggled to breathe, his chest tightening, as a sudden gunshot rang out.

Negan tried to twist his head but couldn't move, the darkness overwhelming him as he heard a child's voice, somewhere in the distance.

Or was it closer?

Suddenly, Negan jerked himself awake, his eyes snapping open as he stared quickly around, finding himself, to his surprise, back at the Sanctuary once more.

He could see that it was dark out now, afternoon having shifted into evening in no time at all.

Negan sucked in a breath, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, his chocolate eyes searching for the thing that had woken him…

...only to see Mia on the bed awake and wriggling about, beside a still-sleeping Blake.

Negan sucked air into his lungs deeply, from getting to his feet with a stiff grunt, and moving to the bed.

"C'mon, Beansprout, best let your Mommy get some rest," he said scooping the tiny girl up into his arms with a heavy groan and holding her to his chest.

Mia licked at her lips, glancing back down at a sleeping Blake for a short moment before staring up at Negan with those big round eyes of hers.

"Eggy, I ungry," she said in a carrying whisper, which made Negan smirk.

He jostled the little girl onto his hip, before looking back down to Blake himself one more time.

"Let's go get you some dinner then, kid," he uttered, before turning his back on the sleeping blonde and heading quietly out of the room.

But they were barely down the end of the long quiet hallway when Mia turned to Negan, her tiny paw moving to clasp his ear gently.

"Eggyyy," she asked in a little voice. "Wai Mommy cryin'?"

Negan at the toddler's honest words gave a hard sigh.

Shit, she was so fucking innocent and explaining to her exactly what had happened would bring too any questions, he knew that.

But figuring out how to play this would be hard.

"Well," he said after a moment, giving the swing doors ahead of him a shove oven with his booted foot. "Your Mommy ain't feelin' too great, so both you an' I are gonna have to be on our best fuckin' behaviour, you understandin' me, sweetheart?"

And Mia did, giving Negan a nod, as they walked down the lengthy corridor that led to the dining hall, giving the next set of doors ahead of him, a shove open as he went, revealing the large open room, bustling with people.

Suddenly Negan stopped sharply, realising that this was the first time he had been here in days….since everything…

..as almost immediately, the whole room fell silent, noticing his and Mia's looming presence.

Shit.

Negan let a hard gulp send his adam's apple sliding up and then back down his bearded throat.

It was obvious that everything knew, and as Negan scowled and pressed on making for the head of the long lie for dinner, he was met with sympathetic stares from all, including workers he had never even laid eyes on before.

Fuck, he almost wanted to bellow at the them, but knowing that that would scare the kid clutched tightly in his grasp, he merely clenched his jaw, strolling by and ignoring them all.

"C'mon, Beansprout," his said, pressing his bearded face close to Mia's head before reaching the top table where a man and woman stood, handing out portions of food and nodding towards it. "What you want?"

He watched, his attention focused on the kid and only the kid as she peered down with interest at the dishes of broth and grey matter on plate and bowls in front of them..

She brought a finger up to her mouth before jabbering away at him.

"Noh...noh, Eggy….I wan' peenus butta a' jewy," she said in bossy little voice, causing Negan to raise an eyebrow and smirk in her direction, leaning back and marvelling at her a little.

"Shit, kid, you better watch your mouth," he teased, offering her a look. "You fuckin' Momma is gonna tan my damn ass if she hears you saying shit like that."

Mia just gave a pout, clutching at Negan's collar.

But before she could say anything in reply, there came a gentle voice to Negan's right.

"I can fix up a PB&J sandwich is that's what the lil' angel wants," said the woman standing behind the table. She had a kind face and large brown eyes that twinkled with warmth as she stared at Mia. "Let me go fetch that for you."

Negan blinked, not even having time to mumble and earnest 'thanks', as the woman bustled off into the kitchens.

He hung around, stepping to the side and allowing the people behind him, who had queued fairly to grab their dinner, watching as it was ladled or dropped on the plate for them.

Shit, was this really what it had come to for these sorry folks...his damn workers…..an indescribable food substance slopped on their plates when they didn't have enough points for the broth.

But he had only been there a minute when a young skinny boy who looked no older than Carl, brought his tray up to the table, giving his name to the man diligently cross-checking points on one of the many Sanctuary ledgers, when he was stopped.

"I'm afraid you used all your points yesterday, kid," bit the man with a big black beard adorning his skinny face, his eyes twitching to Negan as he spoke. "Scram."

The boy gave a gulp and did as he was told, moving to one side and going to head off to one of the long tables, his tray empty.

But Negan suddenly spoke, almost before he had realised he was doing so.

"Fuck, let the kid have some damn dinner," he huffed, waving a free hand.

Both the boy, the man behind the leger, as well as the entire line of people, all stopped immediately to look at him.

But Negan pursed his lips, giving another wave of his hand.

"Shit, am I gonna have to repeat that for you deaf-fucking fucks?" he barked in an irritable voice. "Just give the kid some damn fuckin' food."

Hurriedly, at Negan's hard voice, everyone did as they were told, as the boy, passing Negan once more, giving a grateful nod of his head.

"T-thanks you, Mr N-Negan...sir."

But Negan gave another huff, turning away just as the woman appeared once more with a sandwich on a plate, holding it out towards him with a warm smile.

He took it, balancing it in his free hand, while Mia tried to immediately reach out for it with her sticky paws.

"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asked in a gente voice, peering at him.

It was true that Negan hadn't eaten in three days but his own health wasn't on his list of priorities now.

He would take care of himself last for once.

"You got any juice? For the kid?" he asked in a tired-sounding voice.

And the woman instantly nodded, reaching through the door and handing him a carton of apple juice.

"Got a huge crate of them back from the run yesterday," she smiled. "Should keep the little ones happy for a while."

Now the carton, Negan did hand to Mia, as her interested paws clutched it tightly to her, as the leader of the Saviors turned on his heel and sloped off over to one of the tables, where he sat down in an empty spot away from everyone else, as whispers filled the line behind him.

Shit, they were probably all gossiping, saying that he had gone soft….that he had lost his hard-ass touch with them.

But hell, Negan was almost past caring.

All that was Blake rubbing off on him.

Her influence around here had certainly been astounding, and even he felt himself feeling sorry for the people, the workers, he had put so much strain on over the years, treated like shit.

With her here it was like an entire new regime.

For now he was no longer in charge of this place alone….now he ruled alongside another. A damn girl who had come into his life and turned everything on its head in the best possible fucking way.

Negan eased Mia onto his knee and turned her towards the table where he handed her the small sandwich filled with purple jelly and lashings of peanut butter which oozed out the sides.

"Fank you Eggy," she said politely causing him to lean down over her and press a kiss to the top of her head.

But the pair were barely alone for a second, with Negan poking a straw into the top of Mia's juice, as a couple of a vaguely familiar faces approached him.

They were both a lot older than Negan, with white hair and round jolly faces. And it took Negan a moment or two to realise where he knew them from….realising that he had seen them down in the gardens where they worked closely beside Blake.

Was it John, or even Jeff perhaps? His name escaped him. But Negan barely had time to ponder this anyway, as Mia seemed to instantly recognise the couple, reaching out excitedly and making grabby hands for the pair of them over the table.

"Hi Sweetie," said the woman in a kindly voice, waving a hand at her, as the grey haired man just offered Negan a sad sort of smile.

"We just….uh….." he began after a second or two, looking at Negan, as though not sure if he was doing the right thing by addressing him directly like this. "..w-we just wanted to come over and make sure you send Blake our love."

The man gave a visible gulp as Negan's throat become suddenly dry, his eyes black and set.

"We've missed her, down in the gardens," said the woman, turning her attention to Negan too and tilting her head softly at him. "W-We all have. Everyone here misses her dearly."

Negan felt his heart ache at the woman's words.

But, not quite knowing what to say back to this, he kept his usually smart-mouth shut, and gave them a nod in return watching as they both disappeared away once more, giving Mia a small goodbye wave each as they went.

Damn, Blake really was fucking adored by everyone around here wasn't she?

She had given this place a new hope.

And Negan realised just how in love with her he really was.

In no time at all, Mia had finished up half her sandwich before offering the soggy crusts to Negan, which he ate whilsts surveying the room around him, lazily tossing each piece into his mouth, while Mia peered about in interest, waving at people as they passed her by and gaining just as many waves back in return.

But as the hour latenened, Negan knew he wanted to go back to check on Blake, and so hauling the kid (who was currently licking jelly from the gaps in between her fingers with her little pink tongue) back up into his arms, he got to his feet, clambering off the bench and brushing crumbs from his t-shirt as he went.

But he didn't even had the chance to go even a few feet, when he saw Simon trudging across the large room towards him.

He gave Negan a look, hands pressed to his large belt buckle.

"Boss," he murmured a little quieter than his usual swagger allowed him, giving a stiff nod of his head. "You uh….you alright?"

And Negan scrunching his face in a small grimace and glancing away momentarily, let out a hiss.

"Good as I fuckin' can be…" he growled out.

Was he alright?

He wasn't so sure.

But all he knew now, was that he wanted to be back at Blake's side ready for when she woke up.

They needed to talk that was for sure and he couldn't hold off on that forever.

But with Mia in the way how was that even supposed to happen?

Suddenly an idea came to him. He glanced down at the tiny girl in her arms who was currently giving huge yawn, her little eyes staring Simon up and down.

"Hmmm, I know," Negan suddenly said, raising both his dark eyebrows and holding Mia beneath her armpits. "How about you go with uncle Si here for an hour, give your Mommy an' I a chance to talk."

And with that, before Simon could say anything, he had hauled Mia into Simon's arms.

"I...errrr…" said Simon quickly, holding Mia at arms length and looking slightly terrified at the prospect of being left in charge with the kid that obviously meant so much to the king and queen of the Sanctuary.

And for a moment Mia looked back at him with a small frown before her face suddenly shifted and she gave a loud squealing giggle, reaching out for Simon's mustache. "Hai!" she laughed. "Wot tha?"

Negan gave a chuckle of his own as Simon almost immediately did the same, beaming and tugging the little toddler into him.

"You mean this?" he said reaching out for her tiny hand and brushing it over his coarse, hairy tache, causing her to squeal in delight.

Negan smirked and clapped his right-hand man on the back, before walking away, trusting that is friend would take good care of her.

For Mia was just like Blake…. how could anyone not adore either of them?

They both lit up a room with just their presence in it, and Negan hoped he could get that same old Blake back sooner rather than later.

He sloped off across the room, pushing open the swing doors and heading back into the bleak corridor beyond, walking until the sounds of the dining room dissipated behind him.

It only took him a couple of minutes to cross the Sanctuary, navigating it's long hallways, to find his way back to the medical room, giving the door a small silent push open.

But walking inside, instead of being met with Blake on that bed…..

...he was instead met with the sight of a harassed looking Carson, tidying up the small and shadowy room.

A stab of pain suddenly shot through Negan as the doctor swung around to look at him, arching an eyebrow.

"If you're looking for Blake," he said in a soft voice, preempting Negan's question before he could ask it. "She left about a half hour ago."

Negan frowed hard, staring at the strawberry-blond man, his heart pounding inside his ribcage.

"She say where?" he asked hurriedly, but Cason just shook his head.

"Sorry…" he said, sounding it too.

Negan gave a small growl, quickly turning on his heel and storming out of there, heading back down the hallway.

But to where?

Where the fuck would she go?

Shit, she had barely left that room in days and the moment he leaves her side, bam, she's just….gone?

His mind whirred trying to thing of where she could get to.

Searching for him perhaps? Or Mia? Panicking when she woke and found the little girl gone?

Negan's body filled with worry. This was a strain he did not want to have to go through in his exhausted and starved state.

It was like his brain wasn't functioning properly anymore.

But he willed it to as best as he could, reaching to his belt for his radio, finding it missing and remembering he'd left it upstairs on their bed.

Perhaps he would go there first, check his room and maybe, next, the wives….kill two birds with one stone so to speak.

And so quickly, he made his way upstairs.

Once he had his radio he would send out his best men to search for her. Yes, that was what he would do.

Because shit, she can't have got far in this place. Hell, he wasn't even sure if she even had shoes.

Of course, maybe, at any other time, Negan would have been far more level-headed, but now, after what he had gone through and the emotional state he was currently in, Negan didn't have time for that...for rational thoughts or making sense of things. No. His mind only seemed to go to the worst case scenario. Bad dreams of not being able to find Blake threatening to drive him insane here and now.

But he pushed on, climbing the stairs two by two on his long legs, using his hand to tug his tired and aching body up using the railing.

He reached his floor in no time and made for his room, passing no one on the way.

No one who he could commadeer, or ask to put out a call for him.

No, he was wholly alone, his heart still thudding away, making him feel a little lightheaded, forcing the bile that threatened to overwhelm him, back down his throat.

Sliding his upper teeth across his lower, he reached the large oak doors to his room, giving them both a shove open simultaneously, and bursting inside.

But he stopped all of a sudden in his tracks, almost toppling over as his eyes came to stop on a sudden figure, standing there, in the centre of the room, arms clenched around herself, tears on her cheeks and blonde hair hanging over her shoulders, damp and wavy.

Blake.

She was here.

Fuck.

She looked like she had showered and got dressed in fresh set of clothes from her closet. And Negan couldn't help but notice, that at her feet was a large duffel bag, open, half-packed, filled with pants and jerseys and a set of walking boots.

Shit, was she leaving?

It certainly looked that way.

But for some reason it was like she was stopped, frozen to the spot, her eyes not on him now, but on something on the far side of the room….

Damn.

Negan quickly followed her gaze to see that she was staring at the lagre white crib, that had previously been assembled and placed in the corner of their large living space just a few short days ago.

Fuck.

In all the commotion Negan had not thought to get rid or move it.

But here Blake was, seeing it for the first time since...well…

Negan felt a lump in his throat as he slowly moved over to her, time almost standing still here in the warm lamplight of his room...their room….

Moving around, he came to stand in front of her, blocking her view of the crib.

And that was when, for the first time in three long, long days, Blake's eyes finally met with his.

They were full sadness and hurt and tears, and he could see from here that her whole body was trembling with a fearful emotion and loss that he knew the feeling of oh-so well.

"I-I have to go…" she mumbled out, shaking her head as a sob escaped from her lips.

And Negan, his hand sliding to her cheek, felt his eyes prick with tears of his own, feeling his heart ache for her...for he knew full well what she was going through.

"No, you dont…" he said in a mumbled reply his voice cracking.

But she cut across him, the words stumbling from her mouth as she gazed at back him painfully.

"Yes," she sobbed, arguing desperately. "Yeah, I do….I-I need to go...I need to leave...I-I can't-"

But she trailed off as Negan shook his dark head back at her, tears spilling from his own eyes as he curled his lips, trying to stop his own sobs.

But Blake clutched her hands to her face even before he could manage to, bowing her head low, breaking down completely.

Her chest heaved, wracked with loud carrying sobs that filled the large room and filled his heart with sadness and pain.

He hurt knowing how much this was killing her...killing them both.

Never in all the time he had known her had Negan ever seen Blake cry like this, with these all-encompassing wails and cries, her body shuddering beneath the weight of her grief.

He waited, pursing his own lips together and staring at the ceiling for a short moment before, unable to take any more, Negan tugged her to him, into his strong arms, holding her close, feeling his own tears slide down his bearded heeks.

She smelled like honey and peaches...and Negan wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her like this for all time, protecting her from all the horror out there in this world, as he buried his tearful face into her long caramel hair, breathing her in.

She was his everything.

She really was.

And it felt like an eternity before the pair of them pulled back from one another, tears still streaked down their faces.

Negan cupped Blake's cheek again, sliding his hand down to her jaw, as she gazed up at him.

But to the dark-haired leader's utter heartache, she gave a small shake of her head, trying to catch her breath between painful sniffs and sobs, the tears still coming thick and fast, pouring from her green eyes.

But her cheeks become red and her eyes so, so very sad

"I'm so, so sorry…" she said suddenly, her breath hitching between words, as her lips quivered and she dropped her eyes to the floor momentarily, looking wholeheartedly ashamed. "I-I'm s-sorry. I'm really sorry."

Negan stared at her confused and was about to ask what the fuck she was apologising about, but before he could speak Blake had spoke again, staring up into his eyes, hers full of shame.

"If you want c-children," she said her voice vareding as he spoke. "A baby...you should try with one of your wives or with someone else…"

And with that she let out a hard sob.

"...b-because I-I can't give you what you want…"

Negan parted his lips gaping and frowning down at her in utter disbelief.

Was that really what she thought he wanted?

Someone else?

But the dark-haired Saviour shook his head, gripping her jaw firmly and causing her eyes to meet with his as he took a step towards her, his chocolate eyes searching over her features.

"Fuck, Peaches," he said in a hard voice. "What I fucking want is you."

Blake let out a sudden sob at his words clutching a hand to her mouth as she tilted her head to the side.

But Negan just gazed into her eyes, licking gently at his salty lips, stained with his own tears, before speaking again, trying to make sure she knew exactly where his loyalties lay.

Not with another woman. Not with his ex-wives.

But with her.

"Darlin,' you're my fucking queen," he said dipping his chin and frowning earnestly. "An' whatever happens, at the end of every damn thing this piece of shit life throws our way, we're still gonna have each other…..an' that sassy as fuck kid that defintely already takes after you."

Negan offered Blake a smile, and it was then, that to his absolute heart-aching delight that for the first time in three long and hard days, that Blake smiled back at him, letting out a happy sort of sob now.

And feeling tears prick in his eyes for a completely different reason, Negan tugged Blake into him once more with a "'C'mere, Darlin'"...

...pressing his lips to the top of her damp blonde hair.

Never wanting to let her go again.

Thanks so much to sreid045, Daryl's Lady, CLTex, BlueBloodsOrder, Guest, stacey40, Nicolina88, Green, LJH, CaptainWilliamsN7, Nicole, angelvoice15, Guest, JasminJW and Guest for commenting.

Please review if you liked it! I'd love to know what you thought about this chapter.