A/N: This chapter is a bit slow, but it's setting things in motion for the next one. Thank you all for continuing to read my stories (despite the inconsistency in updates). Also, major props to my Beta, whose work continues to amaze me.
Cosima's room is exactly as she remembers, lacking any real comfort. The bed is small and firm, and the narrow window offers a depressing view of the alley, its dumpster bins on the back of the house, and the wall from the next building. Even the closet is small, not nearly large enough to hold all her clothes, not that she's planning to stay long enough to miss the space. There's no desk, no shelves for her precious books, which these days are no longer in the massive library in the lower floor of the mansion, but at her apartment. Only a single chair sits against the wall, old and made of wood that creaks whenever she uses it. The large house has several nice bedrooms, none of which were assigned to her upon their arrival. It was how Shay persuaded Cosima to share the bed with her sire more often.
The discomfort was something Cosima could live without, but certainly not enough motivation for Shay's plan to be effective. Cosima had, in her long life, endured much more precarious accommodations. A bed that barely allowed her to turn over was nothing compared to what she has already experienced.
Cosima doesn't really remember how she got here. Her memories are all a blur, the sequence of events not quite making sense. It feels as if she has awakened from a long, feverish dream, filled with images of Delphine's horrified stare, the tall body struggling under Cosima's strong grasp. And then there's the memory of the first moment in weeks without pain, when the hunger was no longer a beast trying to tear its way out of her, then the guilt, weighing heavily on her regained conscience. The next thing she remembers is waking up in her old bedroom.
She has no idea how long it has been since she arrived, only leaving the bedroom to wander two doors down the hall, to the bathroom. Not that she's particularly eager to get out and spend time with all the people she's left behind. Her only visitors are Felix and Shay, the last to feed her blood that Cosima's too weak to refuse or even wonder where it came from. The former shares a few words with her, but regretfully, and despite Cosima's insistence, no news from the outside world. Her friend claims that her priority must be to restore her strength before she worries about anything else, but Cosima suspects Felix's evasiveness is rooted in something much more grim.
The house is silent, all the shutters closed, and the wall lamps illuminate the path back from the bathroom, but Cosima knows it's daytime. She can hear the chatter in the street, cars driven by impatient people honking outside. Having been fed on several occasions, she notices her unnatural strength returning, her senses feeling sharper than they've been for the last two years. The scent of a somewhat familiar human invades her nostrils, coming from her bedroom. She's not really sure what to expect when she opens the door.
A lanky, awkward young man turns around, a scared look on his face. He says nothing, clearly startled, and clutches a small, black leather bag braced against his chest, as if a protective shield.
"May I help you?" Cosima asks, taking one small step in his direction, but stopping when the human takes two steps backwards.
"I… I'm Scott…" he begins, stammering, his eyes wide open behind think frames. "Doctor… Doctor Smith…" He corrects himself.
"Okay, Dr. Smith," Cosima nods, speaking softly not to scare the man further. "What are you doing in my bedroom?"
"She sent me," he answers, one small step to peel him from the wall he was against, but his eyes continue to dart nervously around the room.
"Who did?" Cosima asks, tilting her head. "Shay?"
"Yeah… Yes!" He replies more firmly. "You need another dose of the antidote."
"I see…" Cosima murmurs, walking slowly to her bed and sitting on it. "And how long has it been since the first?"
"Nine days, exactly," the human answers, seemingly less nervous once the vampire has taken a seat. "You should be feeling much better now."
Cosima nods. "I am," she agrees, rolling up her sleeve and propping herself against the iron frame of the bed. "Well, let's get to it then."
She's not thrilled to have her efforts from the past two years erased, but given the circumstances, this seems the best option. Besides, the sooner she gets back to full strength, the sooner she'll be able to get out from under Shay's thumb. For now, she forces herself not to worry about what comes next, what she'll do with her life once she's back to her old self, and how to deal with the cravings that, as far as she can see, can only be sated in one way.
To get back in DYAD's program is completely out of the question, not after all she has learned or after the terrible ordeal she has just gone through. However, thinking about living her life as she did before the treatment is equally unappealing. Since her early years, Cosima had refrained from killing to feed, it was not exactly challenging to find a willing human to satisfy her hunger. And the idea of luring naive humans to quench her thirst is no longer as desirable as it once was. Perhaps she'll have to resort to Sarah and Siobhan, using their connections to maintain a steady supply of blood to sustain her existence. But that's a problem for later, when she's fully recovered. And for that to happen, she needs to allow the young man to do his job.
Scott stops in front of her, places the bag on the nightstand, and searches for what he needs. He comes up with two vials and two syringes that he carefully sets next to the vampire while he puts on latex gloves.
"Why do you need two of those?" Cosima asks, her eyes bouncing between the two vials with translucent liquid.
"Hmm… the first…" the human stammers again. "Well the first is a sedative, and the other is the antidote."
"Sedative?" Cosima's confusion is short-lived as she quickly connects the dots in her increasingly agile mind.
"Well... yeah…" he says, unpacking sterilized gauze pads that he uses to clean the crook of the vampire's right elbow. "The second round of the treatment is no less aggressive than the first," he continues to explain. "It's standard procedure to first sedate the…"
"Right, right… I get it!" Cosima interrupts, struggling to keep her anger in check and not scare him more than he already is. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised…" she mumbles.
The young doctor looks apologetically at her with a hint of guilt, but adds nothing to his previous statement. What's the point, anyway? Cosima has it all figured out. To Shay, it didn't make a difference if Cosima, even in an altered state, went on a killing spree, feeding off of anyone who crossed her path in that moment. Cosima didn't represent a threat to Shay. At full strength, Cosima might put up a decent fight, perhaps even win, but not the way she was, not when she couldn't use her intellect to her advantage.
Cosima's thankful that Sarah was there and reacted as quickly as she did. The fight itself is a blur, but the bruises and aches lasted for several days, helping the vampire's hazy mind to recall it. If it wasn't for the werewolf, who knows what would've happened. Cosima doesn't want to entertain that thought, doesn't what to think what she'd have done to Delphine. What happened is bad enough, and might very well have been enough to jeopardize the tenuous trust they've built between one another. And it's not like Cosima can do anything about it, not while her every move is being monitored by Shay and the people who are loyal to the head of the family, and seeing her as a traitor. The only friend she has access to is Felix, and according to him, his movements are as carefully watched as her own. Cosima's hands are tied until she's able to get out.
She looks at the young man pulling the plunger of the syringe with shaky hands until the narrow barrel is halfway filled with liquid, and wonders if she can trust him to deliver a message for her. But it doesn't take long for her to discard that scenario: even if she could trust him, she wouldn't want to put his safety at risk in case he's discovered.
Therefore there's nothing Cosima can do other than lay back and allow him to work.
True to her word, Marion has made space available for Delphine's project, fully equipped with everything she needs, within reason. In the event she needs any other type of equipment that, because of cost or space, is not immediately available in her lab, Delphine has the required authorization to temporarily use such resources from other departments. On the surface, it looks like Marion is on board with Delphine's project, but the young doctor knows better than to trust appearances.
Her days are spent in the lab, in the company of her small team. Dr. Valdez, who does what Delphine tells him to, but no more, clearly not sharing the same enthusiasm for what they're trying to achieve. On the other hand, the enthusiasm he lacks for the project is well compensated, Delphine believes, with how eager he is to report every little thing they do to Marion. Krystal is the exact opposite. She's grateful to Delphine for this opportunity, and is not shy about expressing her gratitude almost daily, to the point where Delphine was forced to tell her, in the most polite way she could, to stop. She means well, however Krystal lacks the scientific knowledge to offer significant help, no matter how efficient she is at keeping the logs and general paperwork under control. In reality, Delphine doesn't need Krystal's assistance, but it's nice to see a friendly face among all the side glances she receives from the other scientists, who don't hide their rancor about her new position.
Delphine can deal with the hate her co-workers give her. She can deal with Valdez's apathy. What she can't deal with is Marion's high expectations. Not for the project itself of course, but for Delphine to deliver her end of the bargain.
With Marion's blessing to contact Cosima, Delphine's surveillance has dropped significantly, and she can certainly evade it if need be. However, that hasn't been necessary so far, since her efforts to reach Cosima have been discouragingly fruitless. Several times now the doctor had been to the Nightcrawler, only to leave a few moments later empty handed. Sarah hasn't heard anything, and even Felix has been uncharacteristically absent. Delphine has gone as far as to inquire about the vampire's whereabouts to Alison when she came for her appointment, but with the same result.
After another long, frustrating day in the lab, Delphine leaves the institute to find night had fallen, the moon already high in the sky, even if she can only see a pale circle hidden by high, white clouds. The air smells of rain before it has started to fall. It was one of those days when Delphine has barely seen the sun. As she'd left for work that morning, a thick fog rendered the world around her white, the tall buildings of the city concealing what little light the weak winter sun could produce, and after spending the day in the windowless sub-basement of the institute, even the cold wind that carries the promise of rain feels like a relief.
She quickens her steps, leaving through the door on the side of the building, hoping she can avoid the rain that's coming. She stops at her favorite Thai restaurant, and ten minutes later is carrying the take away that'll go wonderfully with the bottle of wine she'd opened last night, still half full. The plan for the night is a simple one: she'll give herself a break, eating satisfying food and drinking some wine by her window, the silence broken only by the rhythmic sound of the rain drumming against the outside of the building. An early, relaxing night, rebuilding her strength, and putting her mind in order for the next day, hopefully with new ideas for how to get in contact with Cosima.
Against her better judgement, and unlike the previous nights, Delphine ignores the notebook sitting on the small table in front of the couch in the living room, heading directly to the kitchen to fill her glass with the promised wine. She carries it, along with her takeaway boxes to the table next to the window, dimming the lights on the way. She suspects there's another message waiting for her, just as it has been for the last two weeks, to which she is yet to reply.
Ferdinand has been demanding a report from her, having heard about her new position and her new project. How, Delphine has no clue, but he's been requesting a conference call to "discuss a change of strategy." Delphine has no idea what he means by that, but her instincts are telling her that nothing good will come from it. She had a use for The Company earlier. If it weren't for them, she would not have the job at DYAD, but their usefulness has been rendered irrelevant, and they are a hindrance she can live without.
Delphine doesn't care for corporate espionage, has no interest in passing information about DYAD and their projects. She doesn't want to be a part of whatever The Company is doing, nor does she care why they need to know what's going on inside the institute. On the other hand, she also knows that she can't simply ignore Ferdinand's demands. They have her in their grip, and it won't be difficult for them to burn her, to let the high ranking people in DYAD know she's a plant, or that she has already passed confidential information in the past. The only reason Delphine believes they haven't done it yet is because they think they can still use her, take advantage of her new, higher position.
If Delphine plays this right, she'll be able to make this work, giving The Company enough information to keep them interested in protecting her, but carefully selected so it can't be tracked back to her. It's a delicate balance that'll be hard to achieve, if it's even possible. That's exactly why Delphine is taking her time in contacting Ferdinand; she needs to be very cautious about what she's going to say to him. However, she knows she must decide, sooner rather than later, because she's also aware that they are not likely to be very patient with her, no matter how high she rises in DYAD's ranks.
But tonight she leaves these worries behind, she eats from one of her favorite restaurants, drinks the wine, and goes to bed early. Only sleep doesn't come, her mind not cooperating. And that is the only part of the night out of her control. Indifferent to her need for rest, her mind refuses to quiet. In the morning, she feels more rested than the previous days, but the improvement is decidedly less than she had hoped for.
She wakes up at the crack of dawn, the coffee machine brewing as she takes her shower, the mug of the strong beverage in her hands while she selects the outfit for the day: a sky blue, button up shirt, loose trousers in ash gray, and black high heels. She applies light makeup, just enough to hide the bags under her eyes and add a touch of color to her cheeks that exhaustion has taken away. Lipstick gives some life back to her wind cracked lips. Delphine is not particularly ingenious about the way she pulls back the blonde curls of her hair, which require a few pins to stay relatively under control. The long black coat goes over the blazer that matches her pants, and keys in hand, Delphine leaves, locking the front door on her way out.
Her routine is the same every day, almost without thought. Her next stop is a coffee shop, roughly midway through her walk to work, where she'll get a whole wheat bagel and her second dose of caffeine of the day. That's where she walks without hurry, she has plenty of time, getting out early to avoid the chaotic hours that would make her wait twenty minutes for a cup of coffee. The thick fog has returned today. It's been hours since the rain has stopped, but the humid air prevents the ground from drying. The sun is a translucent circle, hidden by low, white clouds and a never-ending mist. Days seem to be merging with each other, as if nature is mimicking her own life and the lack of progress she's experiencing.
Delphine exits the coffee shop, her gloved right hand warmed by the coffee cup, the small bag with her breakfast dangling in her left. She never notices the black town car parked in front of the store. Only after she takes a few steps down the sidewalk and the car slowly rolls next to her does she realizes she's being followed. There's a brief moment of panic. Delphine's playing on so many fronts, she's no longer sure who'd have the most reason to do something like that. But then her rational side takes over: the vampires, by far the most dangerous threat, could follow her all they want, but wouldn't be able to snatch her during daylight, no matter how hidden the sun is; DYAD may be the offender, but if nothing else, they're merely trying to intimidate her into action, as if it made any difference. The last suspect is The Company, and even before she sees Ferdinand's face through the opening tinted window, Delphine knows they're the culprit.
"Get in!" He says in a voice that means business.
"It can't take too long, I don't want to be late," Delphine says as she gets into the vehicle when it stops and the man opens the backdoor.
"I think you can spare us a few minutes," he says, sliding on the leather seat and turns aside to examine her curiously. "You don't write, you don't call… we're starting to lose faith in you, Delphine."
This is only the second time she meets the man in person, the first being when she was recruited. He's soft spoken, polished in his manners, but there's something unsettling in his dark blue eyes that pleasant features can't hide. For some reason, Delphine believes this rather polite man is capable of violent outbursts, his soft hands with carefully manicured nails, currently resting on his lap, capable of indescribable violence. He can maim, his mask of civility can fall, and his rage something to be feared.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Delphine answers. "Unfortunately my new position doesn't leave me much time."
"I don't think I need to remind you to whom you owe that position," Ferdinand's says matter-of-factually.
Delphine choose not to remind him that this position was achieved with her own work, that The Company may have open the door for her, but her new status was due to her own initiative. "Yes, I know, but now, more than ever, I need to be careful with my… activities," she chooses a diplomatic path. "They're keeping me under surveillance, I do nothing they don't notice. Even being here with you puts me at risk."
"Ahhh, yes, your groupies… we made sure they wouldn't see you get in," he says with a dismissive twist of his wrist. "You don't need to worry about that. Of course, you wouldn't have someone watching your every move if you'd kept a low profile. But unfortunately, you've been making too many moves, attracting too much attention. You can hardly blame them for keeping an eye on you."
Delphine remains quiet, listening to the man talk with casual confidence while the car slowly moves through the morning traffic. She'd be lying if she said she was surprised by what Ferdinand is saying, but she keeps an emotionless composure, her features not revealing the thoughts racing through her mind.
"Come now, Delphine, you didn't think you were our only informant in DYAD, did you?" Ferdinand adds after a look at her.
"If you have other people, then perhaps is best if you free me of my duties," she says calmly.
"I could…" Ferdinand muses aloud, tapping his index on the edge of his pointy chin as if this is something he's seriously considering. "But it just so happens that you've found yourself in a privileged position to provide us information we couldn't otherwise attain," he continues. "I think it's time you repay your debt to us, and I don't mean with information accessible to anyone with a low level security clearance." He paused and stares at the young doctor with an unsettling glint in his eye, but disengages after only a couple of seconds, placing his attention on the tie that he's twisting in the fingers of his right hand. "You're working directly under Marion Bowels guidance, and we're very interested to know about the special project you're working on."
There are several thoughts spinning in Delphine's mind. First, she's surprised DYAD ever had any sort of ability to acquire the type of government contracts they did, considering they have more holes than Swiss cheese. The vampires have someone on the inside, even if this person doesn't seem to have access to restricted information, but they had enough to know about how the tracking device in the chip works. Then there's The Company, which also has one or more people infiltrating the institute besides herself. Delphine doesn't know what kind of information they can put their hands on, and it's not likely that Ferdinand will tell her, however it can't be much if they put so much value in her position. Still, they know that she's working on a new project and that she's under constant surveillance. The fact that this person, or group of people couldn't pass information regarding what she's working on isn't very helpful, and allows her to exclude only two people: Dr. Valdez, whose loyalty seems to reside with Marion, and Marion herself. Not even Krystal knows what the project is about.
However, knowing that she has surveillance does help her quite significantly. Again, Marion is obviously aware of it, since Delphine is positive that's she's the one who ordered it. But other than her superior, only the security team knows about it, and that is probably where the leak resides.
"You know, Delphine…" Ferdinand starts after a long minute of silence, cutting through the tension that's been building inside the small compartment of the back of the car, "I never questioned your motivations, never lost time thinking why you'd be willing to work for us. Quite honestly, I have no problems with you using us to get inside DYAD, as long as you played along," he continues without judgement in his voice. "But that's no longer the case, and as I'm sure you understand, I have to start wondering about it, about why were you so determined to find a position in DYAD. Clearly you're no true believer," he pauses to chuckle at his own words, "otherwise you wouldn't have been passing us information for nearly six months. So what is it, huh?" He turns to face the blonde and searches her eyes. "What does DYAD have that you want so much?"
Delphine raises a brow, looks at the man curiously, wondering if she's reading the situation correctly. "Are you offering to help?" She asks, doubting Ferdinand's intention, but unable to reject it.
"How can I help you if I don't know what you want?" Ferdinand says shrugging, raising his hands as if to show how powerless he is.
The chuckle that follows disturbs Delphine the most. He's not powerless, he's leading her on, telling her what she wants to hear to keep her within the fold. Delphine doesn't trust him, she's not nearly fool enough to make that mistake, but she's also not strong enough to swat away the hand that's being extended to her. She simply can't, not when she's getting nowhere on her own. As much as she hates it, she needs all the help she can get, even if it means to fall for Ferdinand's trap.
Delphine takes a deep breath. She could be wrong, but the assumptions she's making is what makes the most sense in head. Or maybe she's making connections where they don't exist, but her brain is trained for that, to identify causes and analyze whatever information she has at her disposal for their origin. And although the human mind isn't an exact science, it can be tricky, it doesn't work the same as biology; more often than not, the simpler answer is the correct one.
"I need you to get me in touch with Cosima," she says in a strong unwavering voice. "You do that and I tell you all about the project I'm working on."
Ferdinand is good, he feigns confusion almost perfectly, but the surprise of her request is too great for him to hide it entirely, even if he laughs after hearing her words. "And what makes you think I can do that?" He asks between fake chuckles.
"You'd be more convincing if you pretended not to know what I'm talking about. But fine… I can play along," Delphine opens up a subtle smile. "You can do it because you work for them," she states casually. "They're the ones behind The Company. Cosima told me the vampires have eyes inside DYAD, and who would be more interested in knowing what's happening in there, what they're working on? I just didn't know I was one of those eyes, that I've been the one who was passing information to them." It's Delphine's turn to chuckle as the idea settles in. "It's quite ironic, actually."
"You seem very certain in this wild theory of yours," Ferdinand says, but he's not denying it.
"Oh, c'mon, Ferdinand, cut the crap!" Delphine's conviction only becomes greater. "As you said, I'm not a true believer, there's no point in continuing the act."
Ferdinand says nothing and Delphine takes the opportunity to continue to press. "I'm curious about the other people who work for you, do they know who they're spying for? Or do they ignore it, like I did?" She says, her eyes bright, observing his every move. "I'm in charge of finding the mole, you know? I told Marion they have a leak, and she wants me to find out who it is."
"Are you going to turn yourself in?" Ferdinand asks, the sarcasm used to mask his bitterness.
"Of course not, but I'm not the only one, you said it yourself," Delphine answers, her expression somewhat amused. "But I can steer them in the wrong direction. For instance, I can claim the leak comes from one of the scientists and not someone in the security team, which happens to be the case."
Ferdinand narrows his eyes, the small, fake smile disappearing. "You're not as smart as you think you are, Delphine. That's a very dangerous position to be in."
The threat is obvious, Delphine knows it, but she also knows that now is too late to back down. "Maybe not, but I'm right about this," she answers.
"Shay Davydov has too much power in the Council," Ferdinand drops the act. "She won't let go of Cosima unless she wants to. No one will force her to do it."
There's a Council, of course there's a Council, Delphine thinks to herself and fights off the roll of her eyes. "Convince them it's worth it," Delphine states matter-of-factually, shrugging her shoulders. "The Council will want to hear what I have to say."
To disclose DYAD's plan to sterilize the vampires enrolled in the program is a last resort. Delphine doesn't truly want to do it, not because she feels like she'd be disloyal to DYAD in any way, but because she fears the repercussions. The loathing the vampire community has now regarding the institute's actions are nothing compared to what will happen if Delphine reveals all she knows. The war the doctor claims to want to avoid may very well start by her own hand.
As she exits the car where they picked her up, Delphine wonders if she's being selfish. She feels trapped, like her hand is being forced, but there's always another option, always another path. She's made a choice, not an easy one, but a choice nonetheless. She could sacrifice herself, her safety for the greater good. She could refuse Ferdinand's request, and tell him to burn her cover with DYAD, and she'd deal with the consequences, risk her own life, but the rest of the world would probably be safer a little longer. Instead she's choosing to keep her head over her shoulders, perhaps even recover Cosima from Shay's claws, but at what cost?