Negan and Mia stayed for the entire afternoon, things feeling completely normal between the three of them as they enjoyed a hastily thrown together, very late lunch, after watching Mia blabber and play about on the mattress before them for what had felt like hours.

Blake was enamored with the little girl, so excited to seeing her growing and developing day by day.

Gone was the shy little thing she had once met, hiding in a vent in the wall. And now Mia was flourishing, with her own little personality, completely bossy at times and often far too intelligent and quick for her own good.

It was late afternoon by the time Blake and Negan stood in the small white kitchen, Blake washing up what dishes Mia had used for lunch, using a little of the water boiled over the fire.

Negan stood at her side, his back against the counter to her right, popping yet another wild strawberry, Blake had found growing in the bottom of the garden, into his mouth.

Having five minutes peace from Mia, who had crashed out on the couch next-door after her lunch, Negan had been updating Blake on life back at the Sanctuary in her absence.

"...an' Simon is bein' asshole as always.." said Negan matter-of factly, mid-chew. "Damn shit-prick is making a mockery of my entire fuckin' set up."

Blake glanced up at him now, remembering suddenly back to how Simon had spoken to her back in Mia's bedroom on the night he had found her with Tara.

But she knew just how Negan would react if he ever found out, and the last thing she wanted was for Negan to lose one of his more loyal lieutenants because of a fleeting moment of Blake feeling slightly offended.

Because surely Simon hadn't meant to shout at her like that?

Right?

And so Blake held her tongue, but Negan, as always, was quicker than she gave him credit for.

"What?" he asked giving a small frown, his dark eyes grazing over her face. "That asshole done somethin' to piss you off too, Peaches?"

But Blake shook her head, placing a soapy dish onto the drainer.

"No…" she murmured. "It's nothing. I was just going to say that maybe you're too uptight for your own good."

At her words Negan raised both his eyebrows bemusedly, biting down hard upon his lip and pushing his long, lean form from the counter and closing the gap between the two of them.

"That so?" he uttered, leaning in towards her now, as Blake turned too, his face hovering a mere breath away from hers.

Blake smiled, savoring his closeness.

She had missed the intimacy. That feeling that she had shared with very few people in her life, Negan being one of those select few who she had given her everything to.

She had missed him like crazy. Missed their conversation. Their playfulness. Missed having someone hold her at night when the nightmares threatened to take hold...the constant, reoccurring dreams of a baby crying somewhere, where Blake couldn't get to it.

Negan didn't kiss her now, but instead leant forwards, grazing his stubbly lips over her brow, his hand pulling her shoulders into his chest and holding her there close to him.

She heard him sigh heavily, enveloping her in the warmth of his strong arms. And Blake, in that moment knew, that this was where she wanted to be forever.

"I'm sorry for leaving…" she whispered now, her face buried in his collarbone, breathing him in.

To her he smelled like burning wood smoke and gasoline, heady and strong, but oh-so familiar to her now.

She remembered then back to that day, in that broken down truck on the side of the road where Blake had found herself cuddled up to Negan for warmth, that first time she had noticed his scent….noticed how warm he was….noticed how perfectly her body fitted into his.

She was indeed sorry for leaving.

Not sorry for being here, for getting out while she still had the strength to.

But sorry for having to be away from him. And Mia too.

For Blake had been in a dark place, and staying at the Sanctuary would have done nothing for her mental health. For her anxiety, or depression.

And the sorry fact of it all was, that Blake knew that if she had have stayed there, then she might not be here right now.

For in that abyss, that low point in her life, the blonde woman had been far from herself, her thoughts muddled and twisted. And for one single screwed up desperate moment she may have believed a gun with a single bullet, or a jump from a high window, to have been her only chance of freedom from it all.

But she was healing now. Getting better day by day.

And those thoughts weren't there any more, thankfully.

She felt Negan's words reverberate through his chest as he spoke now.

"I told you, you don' need to be apologisin', Sweetheart," he growled, his large hand sliding down her spine. "

Blake closed her eyes, giving a sad sort of frown for a moment before she pulled back a little to stare up into Negan's face.

The face of a man that so many others feared and loathed, and yet Blake knew a different side of, one of strength and compassion, and of love.

"I want to come home, Negan, I really do," she said, her eyes flickering down to the breath of space between them. "But I just need a few more days…"

Blake trailed off, glancing up at him again, oh-so desperately trying to tell him that this was not because she didn't love him, or didn't want to be back with him and Mia.

And maybe a few days ago, Negan wouldn't have understood, wouldn't have seen her reasons behind it. But now, it was as if he was seeing what she was seeing, that the fear, that the darkness, may come back again if those wounds did not have time to fully heal.

And she could see now that Negan understood that if that happened, he might lose her forever and never get her back.

A frown line lingered between the tall Saviour's dark eyebrows, but he didn't look angry, merely pulling her into him once more with a growled- "C'mere, Darlin'," resting his bearded chin on top of her head.

Blake closed her eyes.

"I love you," she said quietly, knowing that the sun would be setting soon and Negan would need to return to the Sanctuary with Mia, leaving Blake alone once more.

And she could only let out a sad smile as Negan hummed a "I fuckin' love you too, Peaches," in earnest return. "And I was deadly fuckin' serious about comin' back to see you. Every goddamn day if that's what you want."

The caramel blond woman blinked her eyes open.

"That's a lot of gas you'll be wasting on me..." she replied teasingly, as she eased herself back from him now. Staring up into his face and offering him a smile.

But Negan merely smirked, his tongue poking out from between his teeth for a moment, grinning back widely. "Well it's a good job I'm the one in charge of rationin' that shit, now aint it?" he mused, letting go of her with a sigh.

He leant back on his long legs marvelling at Blake for a long moment, long face cocked to the side, as Blake continued to smile back, rolling her eyes a little at Negan's cockiness.

She was just about to open her mouth to say something cutting in return, when there came a small, familiar-sounding wail from the living room, causing both adults to sigh internally.

"She probably needs her bed," said Blake, letting her eyes fall to the ground now as she folded her arms a little shyly over her chest, knowing what was coming now.

Blake would have asked them to stay of course, but knew that Mia would be safer away from here, back at the Sanctuary with its high walls and almost impenetrable gates. And by the knowing look of disappointment etched over his features, Negan knew that too, as he dropped his eyes, nodding back.

"Yeah," he huffed out, digging both hands into the front pockets of his jeans.

Blake had had such a wonderful afternoon, that she never wanted it to be over, but knew that another day would come soon. And even if it wasn't tomorrow, it was still something she could look forwards to in amongst the slow passing of time spent here, healing.

Blake took the lead now, tucking a stand of long hair behind her ear, not looking at Negan, and heading back into the living room to see Mia stirring on the couch.

The tiny girl was obviously tired and teasy, and very much in need to be back home in her own bed.

And Blake certainly couldn't deny the need for routine into the little baby's life.

Blake moved to the couch, bending down to pick Mia up, lifting the sleeping girl gently into her arms, as Mia with her thumb stuck into her mouth, rested her head on Blake's shoulder, her chubby fingers curling around a strand of the blonde's long hair.

Blake pressed a kiss to Mia's temples, moving over to the front door.

She didn't want to look at Negan now, hearing him make his way slowly over to her, his boots chinking as he went.

She desperately didn't want either of them to go, but both adults knew, that right now they had no choice.

The afternoon had been blissful and Blake would remember it forever.

But in the time her two visitors had been here, by the sound coming from outside, the rain had not relented even a little bit.

Blake pressed another kiss into Mia's hair as she turned, easing Mia carefully into Negan's strong arms, before she quickly turned away, giving a sniff, still avoiding the dark-haired Saviour's eye, and reaching for the door handle.

Blake tugged open the white painted door to the sound of the rain hammering down, and, stepping forwards, peered up into the darkening sky.

But Blake's eyes flickered sideways seeing Negan, at her side now, doing the same, also giving the bleak sky above them, a look of distaste.

"Holy fuckin' shit," he grumbled in a low voice. "Thought it mighta' eased off a bit…"

And with that, Blake turned to face him, her heart aching inside her chest as she took him in.

Negan was standing there now, Mia in his arms, his black leather jacket unzipped and tugged across them both, shielding Mia from the rain outside they were about to endure.

Not even a year ago, Blake would never had imagined that this man, this intimidating man spoken about in fearful whispers by many, would be standing here, looking every inch the handsome protective father he was.

Blake tilted her head to the side, long blonde locks tumbling down over her shoulder, as she took a step forwards, kissing Mia one last time and stroking back the hair from her sleeping face.

"You be good for your Daddy," she murmured quietly, her voice breaking slightly as the words escaped her lips.

And with that the blonde woman stepped back once more, tears pricking at her eye as she gazed up at Negan, her heart almost breaking in two.

Their eyes met for second, and yet again, so many unspoken things passed between the pair. So many things left unsaid, and despite them having almost the whole afternoon together, for Blake it was not enough.

But she knew it was time now, to let them go.

For this had been her choice...to stay here...to be alone. A decision she had to live with.

And so, chewing on the side of her lip, Blake's green eyes stared into Negan's chocolate ones...

"...I love you," she repeated again softly.

And Negan just gave a slow, sad looking blink, a gulp travelling up and then back down his bearded throat.

"I love you too, Peaches," he said parting his lips.

And Blake took that as her cue to take one last step into him once more, standing up on her tip toes and pressing her lips to his, her hand curving up around his neck and into his hair...

Their lips met tenderly, tasting each other one last time, before Blake finally, after what felt like a perfect eternity, broke away, keeping her eyes closed shut, tears sliding down her cheeks.

And what felt like eons later, by the time Blake had eventually managed to pluck up the courage to open them again…

...Negan and Mia were gone…

...leaving Blake alone…

...on an empty doorstep…

...with nothing but the rain.

My heart. My babies.

Thank you so much to stacey40, BlueBloodsSVUOrder, LJH, CLtex, MissIndependent101, Green, Torey, Guest, calh, altheapierce and Elizabeth for reading.

Are you all still enjoying this. It's been so many chapters now and I'd hope you were all still into this...into them.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend!

xx