Chapter thirty-five - To whom it may concern…
With his heart still racing, Izuku paced the deserted hallways like a restless fly. His mind could only be filled with the thrills he got from his fight with Mirio of the Big Three, which was bad as his brain had a habit of remembering things that he'd rather not. Though, Izuku avoided thinking of the fight. Not because it was bad, the fight was in fact adequate and it quenched his thirst for a fight for a while, but because he'd yearn for more later on. To be starved of what you live for is a fate more excruciating than death so when Izuku eventually got what he wanted, he'd pounce onto it and his ravenous behaviour would overcome him without a warning. His footsteps became subconsciously louder as he continued to pace up and down and so, he brought his finger to cup his chin in question.
"What to do, what to do...whatever am I to do? I'm driving myself crazy." Izuku thought as he furrowed his brows. Now, in ordinary circumstances, a boy his age would have many hobbies and many things that had to be done but were never completed. Boys Izuku's age would constantly be lazing away at a useless activity that they'd talk about with their friends and such. But of course, Izuku was not an ordinary boy. Not at birth, and not currently. Hence, he dug through his memories to think of what he could do to pass the time, or just a remedy that would even, for a second, cure his case of boredom. Then, it came to him and he was an idiot to forget.
"Mom.." he murmured as he stared at the plain design of the ground below him. With his eyes cast down to his feet, he remembered what his mother told him to do when in times like this.
"Izuku, baby," he remembered his mother say. "You are bored out of your mind, aren't you? Well, I've got something to help you. Whenever you are bored, whenever you are nervous, whenever you feel like there is nothing that can save you from your pit of sadness, all you need to do to escape that is hum. Hum any little tune you know and you will soon be cured of this terrible illness called boredom. You don't know any songs, you say? Then, let me teach you some!"
His mother's smile.
Before he realised it, his knuckles became sore from clenching them so harshly. He vividly began to remember the one, distinct song his mother taught him and gathered the notes from his memory and hummed them out of his mouth sweetly to ease his boredom. Izuku's pace of walking slowed down to just a bit quicker than the average speed and his eyes were closed in comfort. He relied on his senses to stop him from bumping into anything and as he hummed, his hearing became slightly muffled and it felt as though he was walking on nothing, like gravity hadn't a spec of control over him; he felt weightless and free. Humming his tune, walking on clouds, mother's songs, they were as sweet as honey, as euphonious as a choir of archangels. But then, out of nowhere, his humming became greedy and craved for more sweetness. A sweetness sweeter than honey and more mellow than a bass. It became evident that his mother's once gentle tune became a stubborn, gluttonous beast that impatiently desired the authentic song, the song from its origins.
Once Izuku became aware of the brutal, rough way he produced the sounds, his pace quickened and he got angry with himself.
"No, that's not how it went. It was more like this.." he thought helplessly trying to replicate his mother's ways. But, the more he tried to imitate the song, the more desperate he became and he became worse than when he started. Izuku's heart was thumping hard and longingly for something to satisfy his emotional needs and absolutely nothing around him served a good way to do that. So, he halted. Izuku sighed at how foolish he looked as he leaned on the silent wall in mental exhaustion. He inhaled and exhaled to rid any excessive negativity within him and calmed down a little.
He played with a piece of his long, threads of silky black hair and covered his mouth with it, only revealing his glassy eyes looking to the ceiling. He then thought.
"Hey, whoever's up there," he thought, his eyes glazed. "When do you think I can get what I want without having to sacrifice anything? You, whoever's up there, know what my greatest wish is, even if I don't know myself. When the time comes, please give it to me in abundance and perhaps.." Izuku tickled his nose with his hair. "Perhaps do it soon. I'm still a human, despite my strength. The line of patience and hurt will only go on for so long before I decide to snatch it for myself."
Suddenly, Izuku sensed that there was something else within his midst, inching closer by the nanosecond. With his senses still sharp, he can clearly hear their footsteps a few floors down from where he was and their stride was becoming slower and slower.
"Who would use so much energy and put so much effort in running up this way. Surely, they know there are no lessons today." thought Izuku in confusion. He was oblivious to the possibility that the person could be running to see him!
"M…" panted a voice. "Mr..M..idoriya…!"
Izuku slowly opened his glistening eyes only to be met with a stumbling girl with pink hair and a back arched in drowsiness. Izuku gave an unfazed look to the girl standing before him that was clearly trying to get his attention.
"You needed something, Mina?" said Izuku plainly. Finally, Mina got her breath back and nervously smiled at him whilst rubbing her neck in apprehension.
"Erm, Mr. Midoriya, I actually have something I'd like to talk to you about.." she said fiddling her fingers with her eyes glued to the floor.
"Heeh." Izuku thought sarcastically. He put his hands in his pockets and focused his gaze now on Mina and his hair swayed in rhythm with his head of thoughts.
"About?"
"Can we go outside, please?" she asked. Izuku thought of what things she could possibly do to kill him as she was still wary of everything around him. Though, not as much as before. Even though Izuku thought of all the bad she could possibly do, he knew within himself that she would not do any harm to him.
"There is no logic, no factual basis for why I believe she will not harm me, yet.." he thought. "..yet why am I so sure? Is this overconfidence? Or something else.."
Trust?
"Mr. Midori-" she then got her answer midway of her sentence with a little nod from Izuku. She walked anxiously in front of him, thinking of how she would possibly tell him what she wanted to say without sounding rude or inquisitive. She had a strange affection for Izuku that she had never felt before, and she wanted to protect that feeling within her. So, she absolutely could not ruffle his feathers him. That was a must for her.
Once they got outside, the breeze was a breath of fresh air as the smell of sweet tree sap was wafting in the atmosphere. The golden leaves waved to them, beckoning them over to stand by them. The sky was split in two; one half was a merry, brighter blue with curves of white that were sewn neatly through the middle of it and the other half was more dull, inconsolable looking as it was the literal color of boredom. A wanting, deeper grey that seemed to be on the route to overtaking the blue but wanted to be a part of the blue. The grey wanted to be a part of the happiness that was lain in front of it, in opposed to overshadowing it. Despite knowing that the grey's fate was set in stone, the grey could only dream of becoming a blue. Dreaming was always there to make your wants a timeless joy.
Then as Mina spoke, the wind picked up a little and her hair flowed in the wind, as did Izuku's. The both of them looked like celestial deities, with their hopelessly, perfectly carved expressions.
"Mr. Midoriya, I.." her eyes wandered downwards, remembering how Bakugou had told her the nefarious actions he executed onto Izuku. "I know you are in no obligation to answer this but..what was your life like before U.A?"
"You want to know about something as darkly mundane as my past?" he said tipping his head back. Izuku's eyes then became as cold as ice cubes and his voice became blunt and suddenly hostile as he said, "Let me tell you then, Mina. My life before U.A? It was nothing pleasant."
Mina was taken aback by the utter pugnaciousness in Izuku's voice as he spoke. She had never remembered Izuku sounding so passionless...she then began to think that all the wonderful expressions that Izuku had once worn on his face were all illusions. Mere hallucinations of what she wanted to see. She almost convinced herself of that theory until she looked closely at Izuku's face; then she saw the truth.
"He's sad. It isn't obvious, at first. But he is. He almost had me on his hook of despair until I looked a little closer." she thought maturely. "You need a hero, Mr. Midoriya. I'll be a hero to you, who has opened my eyes."
So, Mina, as if she was a completely different person, beamed at Izuku with such genuine dazzle in her smile that Izuku's eyes stung. Her own eyes were bright and full of the energetic life that youth brought. With her rosy cheeks, she was determined to kick some sense into her teacher.
"So, your life was no pleasure cruise? Does that suddenly mean you can't be happy, Mr. Midoriya?" Izuku practically had to look at her. He was confused and became more distant.
"Can you hear me, Mr. Midoriya? If you can, right now, I'm not speaking with my mouth or my voice, I'm speaking from my heart to you. Life is indeed filled with ups and downs.." the more Izuku listened, the more cold he became.
"What is she doing to me? My heart- Is it her quirk or something?" he thought in annoyance.
"The journey is never smooth for anyone and I definitely know best that you have certainly had it the roughest, Mr. Midoriya. Believe me.. But.." she smiled.
"What's this sticky, warm feeling in my chest? God damn it, shit..it won't stop.." thought Izuku in anger. Mina tucked some hair behind her ear as the wind became calm. She then spoke with such love in her voice that it was quite unbearable.
"I want you to know that I will always be there for you, no matter the circumstances. No matter how bad the situation is, when you are sad, happy, jealous, excited or on the verge of death..I will always be there to come for you, Mr. Midoriya.."
"I.."
"Do you understand Mr. Midoriya? I will always be he-"
Her words were cut of by a powerful grip at her throat by Izuku's strong right hand. Mina, taken by surprise, tried to gasp for as much air as she could in spite of her limited oxygen. Her legs dangling and her eyes began to tear up in pain as she weakly scratched at Izuku's bandages to try and free herself.
"What do you want from me?!" he screamed into the wind with eyes of glittering, green orbuculum. The confusion and speculation in Izuku's voice was extremely apparent as he stared at Mina with a burning hate and ditrust.
"What.." she thought. Izuku tightened his grip.
"What were you doing to me, you monster?! You think I can't tell what you're doing to me, Mina? You think I won't kill you, just because you tried to barge your way into my private life..!" he shouted furiously.
"Wh..a..t?" she squealed. Her eyes were beginning to close.
"I need to...hurry.. say ..s-something.." thought Mina in haste.
"Mi...do..r-ri..ya, ..that..fee..ling.. i..t's.." she said trying to breathe. Izuku, though blind with anger, needed to hear what she had to say to erase that feeling; it was so gross and unfamiliar. He loosened his grip on her throat. MIna breathed profusely and weakly coughed with his grip still on her throat.
"Speak." he said coldly.
"Could it be.." Mina thought.
"T-That feeling..it's affectio..n.. I think…" she said quietly.
"Did you just say affection?" Izuku dropped her on the ground violently and began to cackle. "Were you so desperate to live that you would use such an excuse like 'affection'? I pity you, 'hero'. Live, if you must.."
Heaving in for enough air to speak clearly, Mina clutched at her chest and saw that Izuku was turning to leave. She pounded her fist into the ground to somewhat stabilise her as she was on the ground.
"I'm telling the truth, Mr. Midoriya..Whether you killed me or not, you would have found out sooner or later that you were feeling affection." said Mina looking up at her terrifying teacher. Izuku stopped walking.
"I've got his attention.." Mina smiled gently. "I'm glad."
"And how do you know this, Mina? You think I strangled you for the fun of it? That feeling in me wouldn't stop as you spoke and spoke. Do you have another quirk that nobody knows? Go on, lie to me." he said, still not facing her. Eventually, Mina got up again and stomped behind him.
"Mr. Midoriya!" she shouted, finally getting his full attention as his eyes widened and he faced her. "Listen to me! You were feeling tight and hot at the chest, weren't you? You felt something warm at your heart that you couldn't manage to figure out, so you attacked me, right? If you felt all of that then..then you were feeling the emotion of affection. You felt threatened because you never felt affection like this before, right? It's going to be fine Mr. Midoriya..I still meant what I said before. I'll always be with you and I will always be your hero. Your first hero."
Izuku finally understood that what Mina was saying was correct. He was trained over the years countless amounts of times to know when someone was lying to you and with that, Izuku knew clearly now that Mina was telling the truth. Even without his training, a fool would know that she was telling the truth. All of it. About the deviant emotion 'affection', about knowing the toughness of his life and about being his..
"...first hero." Izuku repeated. To this, Mina smiled gloriously. Izuku thought back to his earlier years in life when he only had All Might and the other heroes to look up to, but somehow it never felt real. There was no real connection of understanding. But he was young and dumb back then, so he knew no better. Though, with Izuku's first hero being a student at U.A and him being a villain, it wasn't exactly the best case scenario but it was always something he wanted to have. Was his wish answered or did this timely sweetness mean a more brutal ending later on?
"You're right about everything. I am sorry for nearly killing you." said Izuku nonchalantly, as if nearly killing someone was a daily occurrence for him. He bowed to Mina.
"A-Ah, you are my teacher, you can't bow to me like that, idiot! Raise your head, please..!" exclaimed Mina, flailing her arms about in worry. Izuku swiftly lifted his head with a pissed look on his face.
"Hah? And who do you think you are talking to you, calling me an idiot?" he said coldly. Mina giggled.
"You are still my age though!"
"Tch." Izuku emitted emotionlessly as he walked off, covering his mouth with his hand.. "Just watch your damn tongue."
"Yeah, yeah." said Mina as she skipped a few meters behind him.
"Am I getting through to you, Mr. Midoriya?"
Till death do us part.