Lucifer knew he wasn't awake.
For starters, he was staring at the courtyard of his childhood home in Heaven. And second, he was looking at several of his siblings - and they were all children.
He wasn't present, however. Not as an adult nor a child.
But a barely toddling-aged Azrael was sat against the fountain, minding the rule about the littlest ones getting near the water when the adults weren't around. Amenadiel and Michael were arguing over a game of marbles, the very same set of marbles Lucifer had helped his father make for their games by the looks of things, and Jophiel was trying to mediate.
Gabriel was laying on the ground besides Azrael, cloud gazing. He didn't notice when a vicious shudder wracked her frame.
But Lucifer recognized her plight instantly.
"Uh oh," she whimpered, standing despite the budding tremors. "Sammy-el? Where's Sammy-el?"
"With father, Rae," Amenadiel answered absently.
"As usual," Michael mumbled.
Jophiel glared at them both. "Don't be jealous. Dad asked for his help. You should be proud of Sammy's talents."
"Quoting Dad much?" Michael countered.
And the arguing began, drawing their attention farther away from their panic ridden little sister.
"R-raph-el!" Azrael cried. "Help!"
Raphael landed near Gabriel, who had finally been drawn out of the clouds.
"What's wrong, Azzie?" he asked, ignoring the bickering siblings.
Raphael spared them a tired glance, but shook his head. "You're not hurt, Azrael, what's wrong?"
"Sammy-el!" she insisted. "Need Sammy-el!"
Raphael frowned. "Sam and Dad are at the observatory, Rae. I don't know when they'll be back, but you're too little to be up there alone."
"Peaz! Need Sammy, need Sammy!"
Raphael felt terrible, but he held firm. "Sorry, Rae, but I can't fly you up there. What if you got lost in the universe? We'd miss you. And Sam and Dad would never forgive me. Just wait down here. Go see mom."
"No!" Jophiel shouted. "No, I...I'll walk her to the observatory. And stay with her. These two idiots won't stop fighting anyway."
Raphael frowned again. "If you're certain, Jo."
"We'll be careful. Besides, Rae is a good girl. She won't try to jump after them."
For her fifteen millennia, Jophiel had always been the wisest of them. She picked up a trembling Azrael and held her close, then turned to Gabriel.
"What about you, little brother? Are you coming?"
Gabriel shook his head and looked to Raphael. "Can I go with you?"
Raphael shrugged. "Sure. Just don't startle the animals. Dad told me to find anything that was hurt and practice healing."
Gabriel nodded. "I'll be quiet," he said, his tone surprisingly ironic for a four-millennia-old.
Raphael shared a smirk with him, picked him up, and flew off.
Jophiel turned to her two older brothers, keenly aware that only a few centuries separated them. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."
She flew away before either could answer.
Azrael's entire body was shaking when they landed outside the observatory. Jophiel ran up the stairs as carefully as she could, sending her thoughts towards her father.
Thankfully, Samael had just landed back in the main room by the time she reached the top steps. His eyes burned with starlight and his wings were burning off stardust, making them glow a variety of bright colors.
Sometimes Jophiel forgot he was only five. He carried himself like their father so often that he seemed much older. Especially when Azrael was involved.
Lucifer watched himself reach for Azrael and tuck her against his chest as his younger self sat on the marble floor. He wrapped his wings around his baby sister and let his light seep into her.
Azrael curled into him and whimpered until her shivered finally ceased enough for her to talk.
"Sammy-el…"
Samael offered his sister a comforting smile. Unbeknownst to the pair, their father landed a few feet away, having flown out of the mostly dark night sky.
"Azzie-Rae," Samael returned, leaning down to bump his nose against Azrael's. He managed to get a little giggle from her, but it faded quickly. She snuggled closer to him.
"Sammy-el go far'way?" she asked.
Samael's smile was apologetic. "Sort of, Azzie. Dad didn't want to make a star too close to home, or where he plans on putting the humans, just in case." He glanced toward his elder sister. "Did she call for me?"
Jophiel nodded. "Aloud mostly."
"It may have to do with us being in another realm, Samael," God chimed. "And you were using your powers quite extensively."
"Yeah…" Samael agreed, frowning. "Sorry, Azzie. I didn't know I wouldn't hear you."
Azrael hugged him tighter. "All better."
God crouched down to run a hand over Azrael's hair. "One day we'll understand your cold spells, Rae. Until then, I heard your sister. So if you know Samael and I are off somewhere, call for me, alright?"
She nodded against Samael's shoulder.
Jophiel offered her father a full explanation of the event, from the time Azrael first spoke up to reaching the top of the observatory stairs. But she was mindful of her phrasing over some parts.
"You and Sammy are the only ones whose light actually helps her," she said slowly. "So it seemed pointless to let Raph take her to Mum."
Lucifer noticed the approving, grateful expression on his father's face. Something his younger self had never noticed since he was too busy cheering up Azrael.
"You're a good girl, Jophie. Thank you for bringing your sister here. I agree, even with the wait, she's much happier now than she may have been."
Jophiel's smile was brittle.
Lucifer woke up with burning eyes and a tightness in his chest.
He wanted to immediately blame the dream on his father, but he knew better. Visions from his father were rarely so clear. His doubt of the dream's origins were only fueled by the fact that it had been millennia since Lucifer had been able to glance through time.
He was never as proficient as his father. In fact he was often limited to reviewing events he'd already experienced, as the dream had been, but it still shook him to the core.
His eldest sister knew of their mother's odd behavior. She'd jumped in to spare Azrael from their mother's 'care'.
Jophiel knew. And if his gut feeling was correct, then she knew because she'd been on the receiving end.
Suddenly Lucifer wished he hadn't gotten in Uriel's way.
He blinked a few times and tried to swallow, but his throat was too dry.
"Water?" a somewhat familiar voice asked.
He glanced toward the source, spotting the figure in the far corner for the first time. His eyes widened.
She broke eye contact, shuffling uncomfortably towards the styrofoam cups and pitcher by his bedside. She poured him a cup of water and offered him a bittersweet smile.
"Hey, Samael. Or, I guess you prefer Lucifer now, huh?"
"Azzie Rae," he managed. "I thought Dad healed me up?"
"He did. I'm not here to collect your soul or anything," she said, shuffling awkwardly at his bedside.
He raised a brow at her and made a grand hand gesture towards the spot beside him. She was just as awkward sitting, but she fidgeted less, at least.
"Um," she began. "D-dad...called a few of us down last night."
Lucifer blinked. "After I fell asleep, surely," he muttered to himself, steadfastly ignoring his memories from the night before. He didn't have the energy to dissect them… he should call Linda today, in fact. She'd help him.
"Yeah," Azrael said. "He was at your place. Looked really tired. And sad… He uh, gave us a condensed version of what was going on. And told us what really happened when you...well it wasn't really you, was it? But the whole...rebellion mess."
Lucifer's skin prickled with anxiety.
Azrael started picking at the frayed edges of her skirt. "Um…"
He waited, his own patience surprising him a tad, but then he never had coped well when Azrael was upset - even if he was going insane internally, he still wanted to give her time to sort her thoughts.
Old habits die hard, he supposed.
But he didn't expect tears to fill her eyes or her lips to twitch due to the strain of controlling her expression.
"D-dad said you might not be ready to talk to us," she began, her voice strained. "But…"
Lucifer felt his expression pinch with worry and confusion. Surely she wasn't upset that one little bullet managed to go through his wings and his arm? The cut from Maze's blade was already healed. He wasn't dying…
"I just," Azrael began again, "I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry."
Lucifer blinked, his dream-addled brain finally starting to catch up with the situation. Azrael was guilt-ridden and yet she was the first of his siblings to reach out. It seemed his sister hadn't changed much. She always was the first one to chase after him if he was angry or upset, always more concerned with making sure he was okay, or fixing things if he happened to be cross with her - though that was particularly rare.
She came to him to apologize. To confess her wrongdoings and, he assumed, be judged to a degree.
"Sorry for what, exactly?" he asked her. For a moment he panicked, thinking something had happened to the detective or the spawn, but Azrael's behavior made him think this was a personal matter.
And...a part of him wanted to believe - hoped - that his father wouldn't let that particular worst-case scenario happen after everything else the last few days had held.
"For not visiting," Azrael began with a sniff. "For not thinking and realizing that Dad never actually told any of us that we couldn't see you. For not having the stones to fight back on a rule I assumed was in place that I fucking hated. Just... I'm so sorry, Sam. And I needed to tell you since I know now. I didn't want to wait and let you think I wasn't thinking about you."
"Well then," Lucifer began, feeling as far out of his element as he ever had when Azrael came to him upset. "Message delivered, Gabriel Two. I can only assume you think I'm angry or inclined to shout at you. Surprisingly I'm... not. That is to say, yes I was quite upset with everyone, especially in the beginning. Now…"
He trailed off. He really needed to talk to Linda, she could help him organize his thoughts.
"I don't... have the energy to be upset," he said slowly. "I've certainly not been pleased all this time but... I suppose I'm trying to swallow my pride a bit."
Azrael gave him a glassy, doe-eyed look that made him scowl.
"Dad's sake, you've hardly changed have you? Once a manipulative little devil, always one."
Azrael wiped her eyes and grinned at him. "Shut up, prat. I'm just...happy you're talking to me."
Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Yes well apparently only one of our parents is a manipulative, lying waste of light, and I'd rather be an apple very far from that tree if it's all the same to you."
Azrael reached out and took his hand, holding it tightly. "I missed you," she told him.
He was saved from answering by a hesitant knock on the door.
"Ah, Miss Lopez, what a pleasant surprise," he said, belatedly noticing the tension between Ella and his sister.
Azrael looked sheepish. "Uh, I can explain?"
Ella shook herself, readjusting the box balanced in one hand and keeping a careful hold on the coffees in her other arm. "No need. Big guy mentioned it when I got to the crime scene. Well, he said you're not a ghost. I put the rest together myself."
She turned towards Lucifer with a bright smile. "I woke up to a post-it note this morning telling me you were being released. I thought Rae-Rae left it at first, but now I'm not sure. Either way - I was told you might benefit from some company and a decent breakfast."
Azrael grabbed the coffees from her so she could set the rest of her things down. Ella thanked her, spun the box around, and lifted the lid with a game show host's flourish.
"Ta-da! Donuts!"
Lucifer offered her his most charming smile and plucked a chocolate donut for himself. "You shouldn't have, Miss Lopez."
Ella wrinkled her nose at him. "Oh hush. There's not a ton for me to do in the lab. The whole Pierce case is really odd and all. I think it's gonna be passed off to the feds. And besides, I wanted to check on you."
Azrael started to look uncomfortable again, so Lucifer gestured between the two women with his donut. "What's this then?"
Ella perked up a bit at the question, glanced at Azrael, and shrugged. "I was in a bad car accident as a kid. Our friendly-" she gave Azrael a look and held up her hands for double quotations "- ghost over here has been visible to me ever since."
"Yeah…" said Azrael. "About that. I might have one more confession to make…"
Ella checked with the nurses that Lucifer could have a cup of coffee before Azrael began explaining how she befriended Ella and eventually convinced her to move to L.A., knowing she'd cross paths with Lucifer if she did so.
"I didn't think I'd be able to play a major role in your lives, since Ella had asked me to leave her be, understandably, and well...I didn't think I'd ever see you again, Luci, so uh...surprise? I friendshipped you?" Azrael shrugged. "Sorry not sorry?"
Ella only shrugged. "It did work out, so I guess I'm not mad. But you could've clued me in on the fact that I wasn't insane for being able to see you sooner. So not cool."
"Yeah," Azrael admitted. "It's not like my brother announces his non-humanity with flawless success or anything."
Ella made a face. "Fair point."
Lucifer's nerves had settled since waking up from his oddly stressful dream, allowing him to finally relax against his pillows and lick traces of icing from his fingers. Without prompting, or even taking her attention off Azrael, Ella held her own donut in her mouth and offered him the box again.
He'd have a proper breakfast when he got home.
Suddenly remembering the company waiting his penthouse, Lucifer hesitantly decided to check on his guest.
...Dad?
Samael? floated back into his mind instantly, and Lucifer tried to ignore the fissure of anxiety that dissipated as a result.
He took a steadying breath, and a bite of donut, before responding.
Morning.
It nearly noon by the time Samael shuffled out of the elevator. His father instantly noticed the strain and fatigue in his posture, and realized his son's light had dimmed again.
His worry was so instantaneous that he forgot to ask Samael to accept his help before giving it. His wings extended on reflex, the nearest one gently wrapping around Samael's shoulders as God fed light through them.
"Samael, what happened?" he asked. "You shouldn't be using your light but you also shouldn't be having issues replenishing it."
To God's surprise, Samael leaned into his wing, his unfocused eyes drooping.
"Weird dream. Lots of humans to deal with. I'm terribly tired but I'd rather not sleep if it's all the same to you," Samael murmured.
Chloe sighed. "He started getting loopy about an hour ago but he insisted on finishing his statement. That said, he freaked out four different people by telling them things from their past? Well. The first three were that. The last one he called unjust and threatened to send his 'tied favorite brother' down once they 'were on speaking terms again' and Lucifer knew 'whether he still gives a damn or not.'"
God managed a small smile despite his concern for his son. "Michael may have been quite pleased to be summoned by you under those circumstances, Samael. It wouldn't be the first time you sensed a human's true nature and teamed up with one of your siblings."
He gently guided Samael to the couch and helped him lay down, keeping a wing laid over him. His son was, unsurprisingly, too out of it to respond to his gentle teasing.
"What sort of dream are you so adamantly against having again?" God asked. "You need to rest."
Samael's broken chuckles sounded warbled due to his fatigue and just a tad unhinged. "The dreams, Dad!" he whispered. "They're back again, bloody things. I think all my old powers are returning and I'm not sure I want them, so if it's your doing, please stop."
God frowned. "I didn't take them away. Just as I didn't take your brother's wings or your 'devil face'. Though I'd be happy to rid you of those scars if you wished…"
He watched Samael start to relax under his wing, even though light was no longer being fed into him, and realized how desperately his son needed to sleep. "I'll do my best to keep all of your dreams at bay, if you wish."
Samael's eyes were unfocused but hopeful when he peeled them open long enough to meet his gaze.
"Would you?" he asked. "I don't...want to see them anymore."
Chloe quietly walked to the other sofa, worry pinching her features as God asked, "See who, Little Star?"
Samael's eyes closed as his lips twitched into a frown. Even then, he seemed too tired to be sad properly.
"Any of you," he murmured. "From before everything. When they still cared…" his lips trembled for a moment. "When Mum didn't."
God instantly understood. "They still love you, Samael, as do I. We never stopped...as for your mother...what all did you see?"
He managed a small shrug. "No...firsthand. Just….Jophie and Azzie at the 'servatory… I promised Jophie I'd hurt anyone who hurt her…"
God hummed, his smile fond as he ran his fingers through Samael's hair. "I recall a little angel keeping that promise despite the consequences for doing so."
Samael shook his head. "Didn't keep m'word," he mumbled. "Mum's free an' s'my fault."
"Your mother is somewhere so far away that she can never hurt my children again," God said, his tone gentle but not lacking conviction. "She may be stronger than her children, but she isn't stronger than me. Why do you think she had to manipulate her most powerful son just to deal any sort of blow to me? I'd say you've protected all of your siblings just fine and more than fulfilled your eons old promise to Jophiel." God thought for a moment. "Although I'm rather confused as to why you're holding yourself to a promise you made to your older sister when you were two because she was fighting with Amenadiel and you weren't standing for it. She even said it was her job to protect you, not the other way around."
Samael grunted indignantly. "Don't need it."
God snorted. "Her protection? But you think she needs yours? Are you sure you're thinking of the right sister? You do have quite a few elder ones."
Samael managed to briefly glare at him, but his lips twitched for a moment.
"Jophiel's only concern was keeping you younger ones from bearing the brunt of your mother's emotional instability," God continued, no longer teasing. "She handled her own as best as I could expect her to, but she also jumped in and made sure your mother focused on her whenever she could spare one of her little siblings. It's part of where she gained her strength and it certainly fine-tuned her ability to corral a bunch of little angels - including the willful one."
Samael exhaled heavily and managed to nod, but the last of his energy seemed to be leaving him.
"Go to sleep, Little Star," God soothed. "I'll keep your dreams at bay."
It only took a moment for Samael to drift, and another for God to will the space around Samael silent, sound blocking, so he and the detective could speak without disturbing him.
"Is he gonna be okay?" she asked after he assured her Samael couldn't hear them.
"I believe so," said God. "He's been tremendously resilient his entire life. He survived the fall. Picked himself back up. And his base personality wasn't damaged much by it."
Chloe frowned, but nodded. "It's just...the only other time he's ever been close to this degree of untethered was when his brother died."
God sighed with tired resignation. "Uriel, yes… Samael wouldn't have taken that so hard if his brother hadn't forced him to deal the blow."
Chloe had been looking at Lucifer, but her eyes snapped up to God in shock. "Lucifer killed his brother?"
God shrugged. "Uriel forced his hand and refused to obey all summons to return home. It was when his mother's spirit inhabited Charlotte Richards. Uriel, who received much of his mother's crueler attentions, decided to take her punishment into his own hands once she escaped hell. Amenadiel and Samael had already been tricked into giving their mother the benefit of the doubt, and Uriel would've been far too weak to face them had their powers not been self-stunted.
"Uriel used your safety to try and manipulate Samael. He was the master of patterns, able to manipulate events long before they happen. You humans call it the Butterfly Effect. Uriel plays a piano key in an old church one evening, three days later you and your daughter would've died in either a severe car accident or an attempted robbery."
Chloe exhaled in disbelief. "Lucifer...killed his brother for me?" she repeated. "But I'm just another random human."
God stood, since Samael was deeply asleep, and replaced his wing with a nearby throw blanket before tucking the appendages away. Then he gave Chloe a wry smile.
"You really don't know how much you mean to my son, do you?" he said. "Angels aren't like humans. They grow up surrounded by family. Romantic interests are a direct result of humanity's existence. Even then, this particular son of mine only ever had passing friendships with humans before you. And dating, well, only three of my children have ever gotten close enough to humans to love them in any fashion. My daughter Azrael shares an intricate, sisterly bond with your friend Ella. My son Michael fell for a human woman a few decades ago. Samael is the third. There are many humans he's grown to care about, you in particular."
A light blush stained her cheeks. "Well. We're partners."
God didn't bother pointing out that they both knew her words were a significant understatement.
"He'll bounce back," said God. "He always does."
Chloe nodded, mostly to herself as her thoughts churned. "I think he scheduled a therapy appointment earlier. I'll call Linda to see how long he has to sleep or if he needs to reschedule."
God shot her a grateful look. "If she'd be willing to come here if necessary, I'd be in her debt. I'm certain Samael had much he wished to discuss with her if he made an appointment for today."
Chloe dialed Linda as she stepped out onto the balcony, wondering how her 'tribemate' would react to being in God's debt.
Thanks to the brief summary Chloe gave Linda while Lucifer was in the hospital, the good doctor was hardly surprised to learn that Lucifer had exhausted himself.
"I'll be over this evening," she promised. "Want me to grab some takeout? The Devil likes orange chicken so I can only assume God does."
The elevator dinged, announcing her presence a moment before the inviting scent of Chinese takeout could. Linda was glad for the myriad of distractions. It gave her a chance to analyze the situation.
Lucifer didn't look as of he'd been awake long, and despite his...deflated appearance, he was stiff. His usual mask wasn't quite in place, but he did his damndest to smile at her like nothing was wrong.
Chloe, as expected, was keeping her anxiety locked up as tightly as she could manage. Linda wondered how she was juggling the truth about her partner and whatever additional drama had unfolded in Lucifer's life. Better than expected, by the looks of things.
The one thing Linda didn't expect was God to be such an open book. Or for his resemblance to his son to be quite so striking.
"Well, that explains a lot," she muttered to herself.
The bags of takeaway were given a new home at the bar as she tried to wrap her head around the picture before her.
Lucifer stood gingerly, a stark contrast to his usual fluid bravado, and made his way to her. She wasn't sure if he looked more fragile because of his gait or because of the throw wrapped around his shoulders.
"Alright, Doctor?" he asked.
She nodded, sliding a box of orange chicken and a pair of chopsticks towards him. "Just... adjusting. I just assumed, given Amenadiel, that none of you resemble your parents."
"Samael is unique," chimed God from the sofa. "A few of my daughters share a characteristic or two of mine, but my son is the only one of his siblings to directly favor myself or my ex-wife."
Linda nodded slowly, staring at the wall behind the bar. "And...that explains more."
"Explains what?" Lucifer asked. His box of chicken was opened, but he was fishing through the bags.
She slid him a package of egg rolls and some duck sauce as he found a container of rice.
"It brings a few of your mannerisms into perspective. Among...other things," she said, hesitating to say too much aloud. Though, when she thought about it, she'd be surprised if God didn't already know her concerns.
"I do."
She closed her eyes for a second, getting a firm grip on her bearings.
"I'm actually glad you don't trust me despite my son's...gradual contentedness with my presence," God continued. "It's much different seeing his friends looking out for him from this perspective. Though I'm hardly surprised he's surrounded himself with those keen on thinking for themselves."
Staring at the bartop, Linda said, "I've gone up against the divine before and I'm the Devil's therapist. As long as you're not here against his will, I'm satisfied. Otherwise, I don't care who the hell you are. Lucifer is my patient but he's also my friend."
"A friend you promised never to risk your life for again," Lucifer said quickly. "I appreciate the sentiment but he's not here to torment me. Shocking, I know, yes. But there have been a few...major revelations about certain...scenarios from my past."
The way he said it, the reluctance and visible shame, made Linda soften. "You haven't told me all the details of your fall. At least, not what led up to it."
Lucifer nodded, but wouldn't meet her gaze and picked lazily at his chicken. "Yes, well, as it turns out, my mother…"
Linda eyed him patiently, ignoring the quiet pang of panic at the mention of Goddess. Her heart ached with the thought of what sort of damage that woman could've wrought to her own children.
"My mother…" Lucifer tried, once again faltering. Linda pretended not to notice the tears building in his eyes. "... Lied," he finally managed. "About...a great deal of things. And... hurt some of my siblings, and-"
"Told Samael that I would've killed him had she not 'convinced me to send him to hell instead'," God said gently.
Linda wished she could be surprised. Instead, she was merely worried about her friend's mental fortitude.
"Lucifer," she said carefully. "Did she ever hurt you?"
He shook his head slowly. "Not...directly. Unless I was too young to remember."
"There's a stomach-turning thought," God muttered, perching himself against the edge of the couch.
Linda took her gaze from Lucifer to quickly analyze his father. There was a lot of worry written all over his face. And pain. But not unlike his son, there was a baseline of anger under it all. Anger she hoped either stemmed from concern for his children or was aimed at his ex-wife.
"So what did happen?" Linda asked.
"A massive, foolish misunderstanding," God answered roughly. "It's a story better absorbed when your mind isn't plagued by hunger, Dr. Martin."
"Yes," Lucifer agreed. "Please, get settled, my dear. This may take a bit."
Linda brought the rest of the food to the coffee table and offered Chloe a smile as she joined her on the smaller couch.
"How are you taking this all in?" she asked. "My brain went to mush for about a week."
Chloe shrugged as she opened her food container. "Haven't had the time for a brain melt and Lucifer was really hurt so I think I adapted on autopilot."
The pair glanced towards the bar where their subdued friend remained, sometimes eating but mostly moving his food around with his chopsticks.
"He's taking some of this really poorly," Chloe said quietly. "I'm worried about him."
Linda leaned into Chloe's side for a few beats of tribe solidarity before offering her friend a slight smile. "That's why we're here. To be here for him and help him get through this."
Chloe nodded with more of her usual conviction and started to relax into the couch.
Linda spent most of the meal quietly watching Lucifer and his father. The former eventually shook himself out of the triggering headspace he'd fallen into, though his demeanor remained subdued compared to normal.
It was quite telling how they pair interacted. Lucifer seemed to be clinging to what aspects of his usual demeanor her could while simultaneously trying to make himself as small as possible. God, on the other hand, was being cautious around his son, and seemed to be over-offering choice while talking with Lucifer. He was blatantly walking on eggshells, but that fact gave Linda some hope.
She knew Lucifer's adolescence had been interrupted. She knew he trusted authority figures about as far as a breeze could push them. But finding the crux of his fallout with his father, mending their relationship, and possibly reconnecting with the rest of his family? She couldn't imagine how that would change him. Not without more understanding of the relationships involved, but she could hope.
And she could try to help.