What can I say? The idea amused me...
"Help me!" The cry from behind them made Miss Militia and Assault, who were on patrol in the middle of the Boardwalk area, spin around, to see a middle aged man running towards them. Seconds later behind him a familiar form rounded the corner at high speed, making them stare in shock.
The huge reptilian creature charging down the street towards them on four legs, humanoid fore-body erect, took careful aim and flung something that opened out into a glittering gray metallic net, engulfing the man before he could avoid it. He'd been looking over his shoulder yet even so had no time to swerve. Raptaur pulled sharply on the line she was holding and the net closed, the man falling and rolling to a halt at Assault's feet.
He looked down, then up as Raptaur skidded to a halt, a figure they recognized with stunned amazement as a somewhat rebranded Panacea sliding out of the saddle-like fitting on the back of the other cape's lower body. Her normal costume had been replaced with a formfitting one in the same color-scheme, which had a slightly metallic overall effect, similar to the dark blue-black armor that Raptaur was covered with. On her head, her hood had been replaced with a helmet with a transparent visor, a red cross emblazoned on the forehead, the letters RIMT circling it.
Raptaur's armor now had the same logo and letters on either side, on a white circular backing. They exchanged a glance as the reptilian woman lowered her head a little and sniffed carefully. "This is the one. Diabetes, stage three pancreatic cancer."
"Great!" Panacea announced in a remarkably cheerful voice for the normally somewhat morose cape. She dropped to armored knees next to the man. "Sir, welcome to Brockton Bay. You are suffering from a serious life threatening illness. I'm going to heal you. Please hold still."
The man stared up at them through the net with wide eyes set into a pale face, struggling vigorously. "Um..." Assault raised a finger. Neither of the two capes paid him any attention.
"Look, stop wriggling around, will you?" Panacea said with a certain amount of asperity as she tried to put her hands on his face. The man squeaked in horror and rolled his head to the side.
Leaning down, Raptaur caught his eyes with her own disconcertingly glowing ones and growled. "Hold still. Or I'll bite your foot off."
The man froze. Panacea smiled winningly. "Don't worry, I can regrow it. We do that all the time. Now, this won't hurt and you'll be right as rain in a moment." She put her hand on his face and concentrated.
Miss Militia looked at Assault. He looked back. Both of them looked down.
"Ah, Panacea…?" The military cape sounded worried. The brunette girl waved her free hand in a mildly annoyed fashion.
"Hold on, I'm busy. Be with you in a moment." Not sure what to do both of them stood there and watched. Raptaur stood guard, eyeing the gathering crowd suspiciously. She sniffed a couple of times then fixed a young woman in the collection of tourists staring at them with a gimlet eye. The woman paled.
"Got another one, Panacea. Early ovarian cancer, six months to a year old."
"OK, thanks," the other girl said absently. She nodded after a few seconds more. "There we go. Thank you for your patience, sir. You should see your own doctor to have your records updated as soon as you can." She pulled a file card from her pocket and scribbled on it in a couple of places. Raptaur unwound the net, while keeping an eye on the blonde woman in the crowd who was slowly backing away.
"Sign here, please," Panacea said when the man was free, holding out the card and a pen. He stared, then carefully took it from her, writing something with a trembling hand. "And here." He did so. She tore the card in half and handed him one piece, standing up in the process. "There you go, sir. Please enjoy the remainder of your visit to Brockton Bay. We'd appreciate a recommendation to your friends."
Somewhat blankly he nodded, then as the two heroes watched, wandered off with a dazed expression. Panacea produced a small notebook from her pocket and made an entry in it. "That's nineteen so far today," she smiled, putting the card half in the back of it then tucking it away again. "Going well."
The blonde woman who Raptaur had been watching suddenly turned and legged it at high speed. "Got another runner," the huge reptile rumbled, sounding eager.
"Damn. Why do they keep doing that?" Panacea sighed, looking skyward for a moment. She turned to Assault and his colleague. "Sorry, can't stay around, we're busy. I'll catch you guys later, OK?"
Assault simply stared. The girl hopped easily back onto her steed slash partner. "What does RIMT stand for?" he asked in a befuddled voice.
"Rapid Intervention Medical Team," Raptaur replied, turning to face the direction the woman had disappeared in, then looking back at them. "We heal you enthusiastically and with a smile." She lifted the corners of her mouth to expose huge fangs, making both capes pale and take a step back. "Whether you like it or not."
"Hi Ho, Raptaur, Away!" Panacea shouted with glee. The huge reptile stopped and cranked her head slowly around to stare at the girl on her back, who blushed a little.
"I thought we agreed you'd never do that again," she grumbled. Panacea shrugged apologetically.
"Sorry. I got carried away."
"Well, stop it. You're making people look at us."
"Sorry," the girl said again. "Get on with it, she'll be half a mile away by now."
"She can't escape," Raptaur snickered darkly. "Not now I have her scent. Don't worry, we'll get her."
"Hurry up, then, I want to stop at Fugly's on the way back."
Raptaur suddenly broke into a sprint, directly at the nearest building, leaping halfway up it in one jump, then quickly ascending the front and vanishing over the roof, her rider flattening herself against her back with a degree of ease that showed a lot of practice.
"I could go for a burger," the two capes left on the ground heard as the duo disappeared from sight.
After a very long pause, Assault turned to Miss Militia, who was staring up with a completely blank look in her eyes above her scarf.
"Is it me, or was that weird even for around here?" he asked slowly. His partner nodded, not looking away from where the two people had gone.
"Hmph."
After another long pause, they resumed their patrol, both silent and wondering when the world had stopped making the little amount of sense that it had done up until now.
In the distance, they heard someone scream.
A very faint yell of, "Hold still, dammit, I'm helping," came to them on the breeze.
They ignored it with considerable effort.