Well everybody's got a secret, son
Something that they just can't face
Some folks spend their whole lives trying to keep it
They carry it with them every step that they take – Darkness on the Edge of Town, Bruce Springsteen
Adam picked up the phone on his desk on the third ring and spoke without paying much attention to who was calling.
"Ruzek, you have a visitor. Says his name is Murray Winter and he knows you. Want come and get him?" The relief Desk Sergeant sounded a little annoyed but the foyer had been crawling with half of Chicago when he had come through this morning and it wasn't getting any better. Adam knew Sgt Bell quite well; he was filling in for Kim today who had taken the day off to stay home with Polly. Usually he would have just bought him up but today was anything but usual.
They had decided to keep Polly home from school for the day and Kim refused to leave her at home alone. Visiting Abbey the previous afternoon had really knocked her for six and Polly didn't think she could cope with all the questions at school just yet and both Adam and Kim were conscious of the stress that would put her under. Literally every time Abbey's name came up she would start crying. It had been harrowing watching the two girls sobbing in each other's arms. Polly was in tears from the moment she stepped out of the elevator on Abbey's floor.
Abbey burst into tears as soon as Polly appeared at her door and she dashed into the room and enveloped her best friend in the biggest of hugs. "I'm sorry Polly."
"I'm glad you sent me that message. I am glad my Dad saved you."
"He is a Super Hero I guess." Abbey chuckled through her tears, she hadn't forgotten that day at Navy Pier.
"He is today." Neither had Polly but today she would have argued with anyone who said otherwise. Her Dad had been her hero all day. He'd been with her every time she cried, every time she had a question he was there and it was precisely what they both needed.
It took a little coaxing to get Murray to leave them to talk alone and there was some kind of hope that maybe Abbey would open up to Polly a little because so far she was giving her parents nothing. Adam wasn't sure if that was a good thing, could Polly cope with having that burden on her? Wasn't the burden of last night enough for a 17 year old? On the other hand Abbey couldn't get the help she needed until they knew why she was in this position. He was second-guessing every single decision he made right now.
Kim took Murray downstairs to the cafeteria to get a coffee because he hadn't left Abbey's bedside all day while Adam sat outside the room. Neither of them wanted to be too far away from Polly right now. They promised to stick to her like glue and that's what they were doing. If and when she stumbled they wanted to make sure someone was there to catch her. Janice had left as soon as she saw Adam arrive, she was still pissed about this morning and Murray had also torn strips off her when he arrived. "Why is everyone blaming me?"
"Maybe if you'd told me Abbey was having issues I could have helped before it got to this?"
"This is a temper tantrum."
"I'll give you a fucking temper tantrum." Murray snapped. They both sat with Abbey and ignored each other for the rest of the day. It may have once been an amicable separation but suddenly he wasn't feeling quite so pleasant, he should have known what was going on. He had a right to know and not hear it in the middle of the night once the damage had been done and he certainly shouldn't have heard it from the father of the girl his own daughter sent her suicide note to.
They finally dragged Polly away an hour later although she would have stayed all night given half the chance. Abbey had dozed off a few times and there was nothing to be gained from staying. Abbey needed to rest and spend time with her family. There were still a lot of issues to work through and right now they had more questions than answers, this happened for a reason, if only they knew what it was.
"Did Abbey say anything?" Adam was surprised when Polly slipped her hand in his as they walked back to their car. It had been a long time since his girl had held his hand in public but he wasn't going to complain or even pass comment. Kim was on his other side and she squeezed his hand lightly letting him know she had seen it too.
"Just that she was sorry for causing all the trouble. I asked her about Jamie and she didn't say much, just that he was gone. She wouldn't tell me why but she did say that if I knew the truth I'd hate her."
"What do you think she means?"
"I don't know. I told her I would never hate her but that's all she said." Adam and Kim glanced at each other and certainly later that night once they were alone it was something they were keen to discuss, they didn't like where this was heading.
Sam came over for dinner and Adam had a quiet word to him about what happened and his take on it all. Apart from not really liking Jamie he didn't have much to add. Sam didn't think that Polly and Abbey were having any issues and he also didn't think that Abbey was weird with him either. He promised to let them know if Polly told him anything that would shed some light on what had gone down but Polly told him nothing, even when he pushed her. And he pushed her a lot further than her parents had, perhaps a little too far and eventually she snapped at him and told him to back off.
Somewhere there was a trigger and so far only Abbey knew what it was and they could speculate all they liked. It got them nowhere until Abbey was ready to face it.
Kim was sitting cross-legged on the bed massaging some hand cream into her hands and arms while she waited for Adam to come out of their bathroom. "What do you think?"
"I think we are not going to like what's going on." He leant on the doorframe as he brushed his teeth.
"That's my fear."
"We can't jump to conclusions though. Perhaps it's as simple as Janice and Abbey butting heads. Lord knows I butted heads with my Mom often enough and you and Polly had some moments."
"Not that bad though." She was now working the cream into her legs. Adam certainly appreciated the show and he tried to focus on that for a moment because his head was going at a million miles an hour.
"No, but everyone handles things differently." He disappeared into the bathroom and Kim could hear him rinsing out his mouth. Flicking off the bathroom light he knelt on the bed and kissed each of Kim's knees before dropping one on her mouth and climbing under the covers. "Let's see what happens."
"Are you not worried?"
"Yes I am, but right now we don't know anything and can't do anything and I am tired." Kim knew he was right, there was nothing to be gained by them sitting up half the night talking about something they had no answers for. Adam was already dozing off when Kim snuggled in beside him and turned off the light. Tomorrow was a whole new day and a whole new battle and they needed their rest.
That morning, Adam found the missing piece and he felt his heart break in two and his anger bubble up inside him like bile. He jogged down the stairs and bought Abbey's father up. He looked beyond pissed and Adam showed him through to the break room to give them some privacy.
Murray declined Adam's offer for a coffee and then it all just exploded out of him like lava. "I want to kill him. Do you know this fucking bastard, Simon?"
Adam's stomach fell through the floor. "What did he do?" He asked but he feared that he already knew.
"He raped my daughter." Murray completely lost it, he slammed both his hands onto the table making the coffee mugs shake before he fell into the chair. "My girl, he raped my girl, not once but for months, he didn't stop. He did this."
Adam stood and stared at him momentarily, unable to move. "Murray, I had no idea. I swear to god, I would have done something, anything." Murray sobbed into his hands and Adam started pacing around the small room, suddenly feeling caged in. "Does Janice know where he is?"
"I don't know. He didn't come back with her and she's just a hysterical wreck, she's blaming Abbey for all this." Adam had been a little surprised that Simon didn't come into the hospital with Janice but he was too worked up about her attitude to care. "Probably because he knew it was going to come out and everyone would know what a fucking sick depraved asshole he is. I want you to find this son of a bitch and let me at him. I'll fucking kill him."
"Trust me I will find him and he won't get away with this, I promise you." Adam was trying to stay in his cop brain when the father in him just wanted to explode. It would be easy to go off the deep end and for the moment that wasn't going to get him anywhere. He knew, that right now Murray needed him to be professional. "What did Abbey tell you?"
"I believe her. She's not lying." He looked like he was about to explode.
He pulled up a chair and sat facing Murray, resting one hand on his shoulder. "I know, Murray. I am not saying that Abbey is making any of this up, I believe you. I believe Abbey."
"Can you help?"
"Yes. I will help, we will." He pointed vaguely in the direction of the bullpen. "We will sort it I promise you that. This is what I do; I don't let fuckers like this get away. Now, first things first. I am going to need to talk to Abbey."
"Why? I can tell you exactly what that fucking bastard did." Every single word of Abbey's desperate confession was burned into his brain. He had been sitting alone with her and Abbey had been quiet for a while, they hadn't got much out of her and the hospital counsellor encouraged them to just let it come out in time. Eventually Abbey would start to talk they just had to be there for her and when she felt safe that was when they could start to push her to open up. She started speaking without even opening her eyes. If she did; if she had looked at her Dad her courage would have failed. "Dad, I'm sorry I didn't know what to do." She had suddenly cried and the rest just followed, horrifying Murray more and more with every word.
"I know but we need to hear it from Abbey." Adam took out his note pad and took some notes from Murray, just for comparison and to make sure they did not miss anything. "I will get Sarah to talk to her. I am guessing she won't want to talk to me and might feel more comfortable with a female cop?" Sarah was the Intelligence Unit's female detective. She had worked with them for almost five years now and was rock solid. Sarah was fierce and smart and unrelenting and Adam in the heat of the battle he trusted her with his life.
"No, she wants to talk to you. She asked for you." Abbey had been adamant on that, she only wanted to see Adam. He was the only man she trusted right now, everyone else would let her down. It had killed Murray to hear her say that. He hated to think that she felt that he'd let her down by not being there to protect her. When Abbey had screamed that at him it had shattered his heart. No father wants to think that they let their child down. If only he'd known she was having problems, he would have been on the next plane.
Adam explained that he would need Sarah with him anyway so that they could make sure this case was watertight. Murray looked concerned but he reassured him it was for the best, that he had done this before and that Sarah was just there as back up. He was doing this by the book.
"Okay. Let's go then." He jumped up. The sooner he got this down the quicker he could get this monster arrested and downstairs in the cage. He was going to have a little chat to Simon.
Janice was apparently still being unreasonable and had been taken home by her sister and sedated. Abbey didn't want her around when she talked to the Police, she refused to talk to her Mom about it. She blamed her mother because she had bought this man into her life and Abbey had never liked him but it didn't make any difference to Janice. Initially Janice had denied it, told Abbey not to lie and that she was being cruel to her. Gradually as Janice's shock wore off she completely broke down and that was upsetting Abbey even more. Their relationship had been teetering on the edge for years and this was probably the final straw.
"I'm sorry Adam." Abbey sobbed as soon as she saw him. He'd introduced her to Sarah and explained why she was there, that it was for Abbey's protection and well-being. Sarah spoke to her quietly. "I'm just going to be over here." She pointed to the corner. "If you need me just say the word. Adam and I are going to help you and whatever you want to tell him that's okay." She sat in the corner, listening and taking notes so that Adam could give her all the attention she needed.
Adam touched her cheek and made Abbey look at him "Hey Abbey, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is not your fault. None of it, okay?"
"I am sorry I dragged Polly into it."
"Polly loves you Abbey and she just wants you to get better and she wants to help you, she always has. Just like Kim and I want to help you." He spoke to her gently.
"I didn't know what to do."
"I know, but now you do. This is the first step; you've taken the first step to putting this behind you. It's not going to be easy but we can stop this; we can stop this happening to anyone else and more importantly than that I am going to stop this happening to you. I promise."
Abbey sat with her hands clenched tightly in her lap, the IV drip still in her left hand and she was pale and shaking as she nodded at Adam and started to talk. "I was too scared to say no."
"When did it start?" Abbey could tell him the exact time and date. It would be forever burned into her soul, the day her life changed forever.
"Just after he moved he would say some things but I just ignored him. He came into the bathroom once when I was in the shower, he pretended it was an accident but he didn't leave right away and just watched me. Then there were a few times that he would brush up against me, that's how it started." Adam handed her a tissue to wipe away her tears.
"One night Mom was out and he came into my room and I tried to say no but he didn't stop and then he said if I told anyone no one would believe me, people would hate me and my Mom would kick me out of the house." It was breaking Adam's heart listening to Abbey, he had heard some horrific things in his time and dealt with some galling cases of child abuse, rape and sodomy but this was cutting him to the bone.
"Did he force you to have sex with him?" Adam hated having to ask. He was trying his best to switch off the part of his brain that was telling him that this was his daughter's best friend and put some emotional distance between them when all he wanted to do was gather her up in his arms and promise her that it would be okay. Being a cop and a human being was hard right now, but worse than that he was struggling because he was a father to a girl the same age as the one lying in this bed recovering from a suicide attempt all because she'd been sexually abused and didn't know what to do about it.
She dropped her head and nodded sadly.
"I need you to say it Abbey."
"Yes, we had sex."
"Anything else?" Abbey looked at him a bit confused. "Did he make you do anything else?"
"He would hold my hair and put his dick in my mouth, it hurt and would shove it further in and make me gag. I bit him once and he hit me so hard and pulled some of my hair out, so I would just do what he wanted." She picked at the corner of the sticky plaster on her hand holding in her IV.
The thought of it made him sick and he felt his stomach lurch and swallowed hard to stop himself from vomiting. "Anything else?" He asked her if Simon had forced her into anything else, either physically or if he exploited her in any other way and she said no. "How many times did he rape you?"
"I don't know, it lasted a few months. Mom had her girl's night out every month and I tried to get out of staying at home but I couldn't, he'd just wait for me to come home. I started coming home later and later and Mom stopped me from going out. She made me stay there with him. He'd wait until she left and in the end I just gave up fighting it to get it over with."
"Abbey you know this isn't about having sex, he raped you." Adam also asked Abbey if her mother knew anything but Abbey shook her head, she was pretty sure she didn't. He really hoped that was the case because if he found out she had ignored this or let it continue he wouldn't quite know how he was going to control himself. If Janice had any idea this was going on and had ignored it she'd be lucky to be breathing fresh air again.
"Has it stopped now?"
"Yes a few months ago when he found out that I was having sex with other people. When Kim told Mom about the Navy Pier thing she must of told him and he lost it and he started telling me that I was a slut now, that I was damaged goods and that no one would want a liar like me and to keep my mouth shut." Adam noticed that Abbey couldn't even say his name and at some point she needed to. "He sent me text messages all the time." Adam told her that he would need to see those messages.
"I deleted them, I didn't want anyone to see them."
"That's okay Abbey. We can look into that." She started crying again and Adam assured her that nobody would see them unless it was necessary. He wouldn't let her parents see them if he could possibly help it. The only way those messages would see the light of day was if Simon denied the accusations and Intelligence would make damn sure that wouldn't happen.
When Abbey started telling him about the Navy Pier incident the timeline was starting to fall into place; she was starting to lash out against the abuse in the only way she knew how, by misbehaving and Simon basically stopped abusing her when he found out she was sleeping around so Abbey took that as a sign that she could stop it by continuing to behave the way she did. Begging him to stop hadn't worked, this did. The guy at the navy pier wasn't the only one; she'd admitted that there had been five or six others.
This was getting worse although Adam could now piece together precisely why Abbey was lying in her bedroom alone at night having swallowed a bottle of pills. "You are not a liar, or damaged goods or a slut. You are a beautiful girl who has gone through hell and you were alone and trying to figure it out how to stop it by yourself but not anymore Abbey. This is not your fault, you are beautiful and funny and we love having in our life. I want to see that girl come back and we'll help you get there, I promise."
"I told Jamie and he stopped calling. He said he would tell Jamie that I started it, that it was me who begged him for sex so I thought I would tell him and he would help me but he didn't."
Adam didn't think his heart could break anymore for her but it did. "Oh Sweetheart, that must have hurt. Is that why you took those pills?"
"Yes." She talked to Adam for a while longer, giving him some details about times and places and things that Simon said to her along the way. He asked again about her mother but Abbey was adamant that she didn't know. Adam wasn't sure whether that was the honest truth or that Abbey needed to believe that her mother wouldn't abandon her like that.
"Okay. Is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"Can you tell Polly I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt her or get her into trouble, she's my best friend and you and Mrs R have been amazing. Polly didn't leave me and I was horrible to her some days, I was a terrible friend. I love Polly so much." She sounded so broken "I love being part of your family."
Adam leant in and hugged her. "We love you Abbey, we really do and you are part of our family, you will always be part of our family. Nothing has changed. I wish I'd known."
"Are you going to tell Polly what happened?"
"Do you want me to?" He felt her nodding slightly against his chest but she made him promise to make sure Polly knew it wasn't her fault and that she was okay. She wanted Adam to tell Polly but she didn't want her to know the details, just that Simon had abused her. Telling Jamie and seeing him turn away from her was the straw that broke the camel's back and she couldn't bare to think what would happen if Polly did the same. "Abbey I have to ask, you need to tell me who did this to you."
"I told you."
"No Abbey, you haven't said his name. I need you to tell me his name."
"Simon Reynolds" she sobbed her heart out in his arms. "My Mom's boyfriend."
Kim knew something was up with Adam from the moment he got home. He was quiet and moody and even when Polly tried to talk to him he was short with her. He wanted to talk to Kim before he could even contemplate talking to Polly. He needed time to get his bearings and had struggled all afternoon to figure it out and make sure that Intelligence had all the details before Jay made him take a step back and leave them to it. He needed to go home and be with his family. Breaking it to Kim was the first thing he had to do.
"Adam, what's wrong? You are freaking me out." He dragged her upstairs and made her sit on the bed while he paced back and forth in front of her. He was so agitated all of a sudden.
"I talked to Abbey today. She gave a statement."
"About what?" The look on his face gave away everything and Kim already knew that al their fears had become a reality. They hadn't specifically said it to each other but they knew what they were both thinking. "Adam, please no." she started shaking.
"I'm sorry Darlin'." He crouched down in front of her. "Simon has been abusing Abbey."
Kim was shaking her head wildly. "No, No No" she pushed him away.
"Kim. Simon was raping her, he was sexually abusing her for months."
"Oh God. I can't believe this, No Adam please don't." Kim covered her face with her hands and Adam sat beside her and let her fall against him and cry. "Oh Abbey."
Adam had also tried to talk to Abbey's mother. Janice was no help, she was hysterical and claimed she knew nothing. "Are you happy now?" she screamed at him as soon as they arrived at the house so Adam stepped back and let Sarah take the lead. When they asked her why Simon didn't come back with her last night she gave some lame excuse that he said they had paid for the weekend and it would have been a waste of money. When she had called him after Abbey admitted to the abuse he had switched off his phone but she did scream into the phone that she knew what he'd done. It was obvious to Adam and Sarah that he was on the run but they would find him, he would hunt him down like the animal he was. No way was this piece of shit getting away with it.
They took their computers in for forensic analysis. People like Simon learnt quickly how to cover their tracks to satisfy lay people, like wives, girlfriends and parents but very rarely did they have the knowledge to hide from forensic police.
Kim found her voice again. "Tell me you've got him?"
"Not yet. Jay sent me home but we are closing in on him. He's on the run. We will find him Darlin'. You know we will."
Adam explained to Kim the whole story as far as it stood right now and the look of torture on her face killed him. "Darlin' Abbey wants us to talk to Polly."
"I don't know Adam, does she need to know?"
"You know she does. If we are going to help Abbey we can't hide this from Polly. And we are going to help Abbey through this. We've got no choice." She loved this determined side of Adam.
"It's going to devastate her. I hate to think what this is going to do to Polly." Kim knew that sounded selfish, they should be worried about Abbey but all she could think of was her daughter.
"Don't you think I want to protect Polly from this, she's my baby girl." He snapped. The stress finally getting to him and he hunched over and let out an unexpected sob. "I'm trying." It was Kim's turn to hold onto her husband while he cried.
Again they sent Angus to his room. Adam promised Kim that he would spend some time with Gus on the weekend because he had been shoved aside a little bit the last few days. Adam had tried really hard to be around lately especially since Gus failed those exams. His claim that Adam didn't care rattled him a little bit and he did his best to show him that he did care and always knew what was going on. It would be good for both of them to get away for a bit and be boys. Angus loved his 'man dates' with his dad.
Kim sat next to Polly on the sofa, holding her hand while Adam perched on the coffee table in front of his daughter. She knew something was up from the moment they had called her downstairs and the way they looked at her and each other.
Adam started quietly. "Polly, sweetheart we love you so much. You are our whole world, both you and Angus, okay?"
She just nodded, swallowing hard as she started shaking.
"I talked to Abbey today and she told me some things. She talked to me about why she took those pills. Polly it's not good."
"Why?"
"Ummm.." he looked at Kim who just nodded and squeezed Polly's hand even harder. "Sweetheart Simon was abusing Abbey."
"No, I didn't see any bruises. Where did he hit her?" Adam glanced at Kim and they hated that they were about to shatter her innocence.
"Sweet Pea I'm sorry, he didn't hit her. He raped her. Simon forced Abbey to have sex with him."
"No, you're lying." She lashed out at her father and Adam was stunned when she slapped him across the face, the stinging crack of her hand on his cheek shocked them both. He grabbed her hand and didn't let go as she swung for him again. This was killing him, seeing the look of absolute horror on his daughter's face and it made him hate this guy more than he thought was possible.
"I'm sorry Polly."
Polly turned to her mother. "He's lying, why is he lying to me?" she wailed.
"Oh Polly, Dad's not lying to you. I'm sorry but Abbey was being sexually abused by Simon. It had been happening for quite a while and that's why Abbey was acting the way she was. She was hurt and scared and confused."
"Why didn't you do something?" she yelled at her Dad reefing her hand away from him and he was stunned to see the hate spill from her eyes.
"I didn't know Polly. If I had known believe me I would have done something. I would have stopped it."
Polly turned back to her mother and her gut-wrenching scream was soul shattering and Kim did her best to comfort her. When Adam leant forward and placed his hand on her back she baulked and pulled herself away from him and towards Kim. She was blaming Adam and it was like he was being stabbed in the heart. He just sat and watched them for a while; Polly didn't want anything to do with him. He asked her if she had any questions but she just ignored him. Adam he kept his hand on Kim's leg to steady himself as his daughter cried in her mother's arms.
Standing up he kissed Kim's temple and then Polly's head that was cradled in Kim's arms and told Polly he loved her and left them alone. It killed him to walk out of that room thinking that his daughter was piling this on him but she was angry at the world and she had to take it out on someone and it wasn't surprising that it was the person who had just shattered her heart. He just hated it.
He called Halstead to find out if they had anything yet. "No, not yet. Nothing solid anyway but we are getting closer. The idiot just used his credit card at a gas station just outside Fargo, North Dakota. I'd say he's heading for the border. We'll get him. Hey, how's Polly." Jay had argued with Adam when he sent him home, he didn't want to leave and Jay reminded him that he had more important things to worry about right now, he had Polly. They would handle the hunt for Simon and he promised he would keep him in the loop.
"Ahhh, Polly hates me right now."
"You, why?"
"I guess I was just in the firing line, she slapped me and she packs a punch I can tell you." He could still feel the slight burn on his skin. "Hardest thing I've ever done man. It hurt like all shit. My sweet innocent little girl has been through a lot lately and I think I've realised that as much as I want to protect her from all the shit in the world I can't, it just finds you."
"Hug my angel." Jay had always called Polly his angel. It was hard to imagine her dealing with this when he always remembered that first night he babysat her when she was just a tiny baby and she feel asleep on his chest, she was so sweet and innocent and pure. It had melted his heart and he still had that photo. He had his three boys but no daughter's so Polly had always held a special place in his heart.
"If she lets me anywhere near her." He lamented. This was not what he expected.
"She loves you man, you know that."
"I think we are on the edge. It could go either way."
A/N: This was not an easy chapter to write. I was inspired to write this story when I heard a radio interview with a mother talking about the Brave hearts organisation. .
I hope you are not to disappointed about where this story has gone...