"Where's Mom?" Angus dropped his bag inside the back door and headed straight for the fridge so that he could swing on the door whilst trying to decide on something to eat, it wasn't a quick process. He eventually grabbed an apple and slammed to door making everything rattle. Seeing his Dad in the kitchen during the week was an unusual sight especially seeing he was currently getting dinner started, when he did cook it was typically the weekend and that usually involved something thrown on the grill.

"Not here." He hadn't seen her since she had left the house earlier. He knew that she had been into the District and had stormed upstairs and demanded that Jay show her the photos and now she was still out god knows where.

They spent a few minutes talking about his day at school before Adam sent him upstairs to do his homework. Although to say they'd talked about it would have been a stretch, Adam asked him questions and Gus grunted some one word replies. 'Yep, Nah, Okay, sure' He wasn't completely sure the English tutoring had really achieved much more than a basic pass mark.

Kim didn't even bother stopping at the front desk when she arrived at the District and barely nodded at her colleagues. Halstead had been surprised to see her and looked curiously at his friend and fellow Sergeant. "What's wrong Kim? Is Polly okay?"

"Fine. Adam, on the other hand is teetering on the edge of extinction."

"Why?" He barely got his question out before Kim let loose.

"Because my fucking husband decided to get rip snorting drunk last night rather than tell me about those damn photos." She had roared at Jay. He jumped up from his desk and made his way round to close his door. The whole of the district did not need to hear this conversation.

"Kim." Jay had been a little taken aback by her outburst. "Just slow down. I am sure he had his reasons."

"He's gutless and a coward." Not that she believed any of that but her fierce Momma Bear mode was crushing her rational side. "That's his reason."

"This case has been tough on all of you. Adam's been in the middle of it trying to be a cop and a Dad and a husband with a case that was way too close to home. Cut him some slack, he needed to release a pressure valve." Halstead knew he was wound pretty tight and that was exactly why he gave him the next few days off. Simon was behind bars; they had a confession so from his point of view the case was closed. Adam needed to go home and deal with the personal side of this. "While it may not have been the best way to do it wasn't it better than screwing up this case because he was let loose on Simon or losing his shit at home at Polly or you or Gus?"

Kim's voice started to quiver. "I guess. But those photos Jay. That was my girl."

"And there is nothing on there to suggest that Simon laid one finger on her. Polly assures you that he didn't touch her didn't she?" Kim nodded, she knew Jay was right but it wasn't making this any easier to deal with.

"I know. Adam told me." Kim was starting to relent. She didn't want to be angry with Adam, he was just in the firing line and she knew he could take it. She had held all this in so that Polly and Angus didn't see that they weren't in control and it was starting to overwhelm her.

"You should have seen his face. I thought he was going to vomit. I have never seen him look so scared and angry in my whole life and you know all the shit we have done and seen over the years. If he'd half a chance he would have killed Simon."

"Polly is taking this out on Adam and now I am doing the same." Jay came and sat next to Kim as she dropped down heavily in the chair. Her hands were shaking as he reached out for them. They had been friends a long time and this case had straddled the line between professional and personal, more that anything had done in a long time.

"He's got broad shoulders. So he faltered a little yesterday, he knows how you all feel about him."

"It's not about that."

"Kim, no one is going to go harder to protect Polly. You know that."

"I do." And she did know that so why couldn't she bear to see him or talk to him right now? It wasn't fair. He was doing his best, he had acknowledged that he felt he was letting her down by leaving everything at home up to her and Kim had reassured him that they were both doing what needed to be done. So why was she angry with him for blowing off steam? Why did she have this pit in her stomach because he tried to protect her from the worst of it?

Adam had called her several times. All he wanted was some reassurance that she was okay so she sent him a message saying she was 'fine' and would be home later. He was finally pissed off when she sent another message to say that she was catching up with Trudy for dinner and he needed to sort the kids out.

'Whatever Kim. That's two out of three people in this house who hate me. Let's hope I don't piss Gus off and make it a clean sweep. Maybe check back later and I can fill you in on how that's going.' He was being petty but she'd been gone for six hours and he'd got nothing.

Kim and Trudy didn't catch up all that often, only a couple of times a year did they get the chance for a girl's night out. Since her retirement she tried to spend most of winter out of Chicago. Kim missed her, she had been instrumental in not only her initial few years as a Police Officer but also in helping her pass her Sergeant exams. If Al was Adam's mentor then Trudy was Kim's and she was the first person she thought of when she needed to blow off more steam. As far as Adam was concerned she still terrorised him but they both loved it. Polly and Angus had hung off her every word when they were smaller and they were usually sitting waiting patiently by the door hours before Trudy was due to arrive when she would babysit and when they came home their house had usually been transformed into some blanket and pillow secret city and Trudy was always in the middle of it all.

"This is out of the blue, so what's the deal?" Trudy had been quick to say yes to dinner but knew there was a reason. She could still read Kim like a book.

"A rough week at home and I needed to catch my breath away from it all."

"You and Adam?" That would have surprised Trudy because they were pretty rock solid and had been for a long time. Not over the top sickly sweet and they certainly had rough patches but they were definitely one of the stayers in the marriage game. She had very little faith in Ruzek when he showed up all cocky and squeaky clean but he was as loyal as a dog and loved his family fiercely.

"Not really no. Just some really tough times with Polly and we are both a little stressed."

"What's Polly been up too? A little too much Ruzek?" Her brow furrowed a little when she saw the look of utter sadness on Kim's face. "You know I thought Gus would be the handful."

"She can be a little too much Ruzek that's for sure but not this time. You know Abbey?" Platt nodded. "Last weekend she attempted suicide and sent Polly a message, basically a suicide note and Adam managed to get her to the hospital in time." Kim watched the wine in the bottom of her glass as she swirled it around hoping it was suddenly going to give her the answers she was seeking. "Then we discovered was being sexually abused by her mother's partner."

"What the hell?" Trudy knew Abbey quite well, she was always around whenever they had a get together at the house and Polly and Abbey were hard to separate. She grabbed Kim's shaking hand. "How awful for both of them. You've got the guy?"

Kim nodded. "As you can imagine Polly's not coping well and started taking it out on Adam, he's busted his gut at work, along with the rest of Intelligence to get this asshole behind bars and we just had a blow up this morning about everything. I just needed some breathing space. It's all we've done and talked about for days." Kim couldn't stop the tears from tumbling freely down her cheeks.

"Oh Kim."

"Adam and I are trying really hard to make sure Polly is okay that I think we lost sight of how it's effecting us as well. He went out and got really drunk last night and I know I shouldn't be mad at him but I am."

"You know he has always needed to let things go at the end of a tough case. And this sounds like the toughest."

"Oh I know. We found out that this guy had photos of Polly too." Kim could see the look of horror on Trudy's face and reassured her instantly that Polly hadn't been involved. Trudy could still pull out the terrifying desk sergeant look at will and she looked like she was about to march downtown and create all sorts of havoc. Her kids seriously didn't know how lucky they were that they had this army behind them. "They were just photos of her and her friends. You know around the pool, laughing and mucking around. He didn't touch Polly."

"Thank God."

"I know; could you imagine Adam if that had been the case." Kim shuddered a little at the thought.

"Something I'd rather not think about to be honest."

"He didn't want to tell me and I know he was trying to protect me but I just up and left. I took off and now I don't want to go home." Kim pushed her food around her plate. Her appetite was non-existent and obviously Adam had started to notice it too hence his comment this morning about the muffin that she ordered and didn't eat. "I worry about what else he is not telling me."

"You have to go home and talk to him." Trudy wasn't about to let this ship run aground after all the shit they'd been through. "Kim, Adam is not going to keep anything from you but you know sometimes it takes him a while to spit it out."

"I know. I think I am just scared."

"Of what?"

"That something has happened to Polly and we won't be able to help her." Kim did exactly what Adam had done the previous night; she'd found a way to release the pressure and Trudy held her as she cried an ocean of tears.

Adam had called Jay late in the day when he still hadn't seen Kim. "Is she okay?" Halstead could hear the worry in his voice. He knew he'd done the right thing sending him home for a few days and seeing Kim so angry today had stunned him a little, she had always been the calm, rational parent. They were struggling but he had faith in them that they would sort it out. He'd make damn sure they did.

"She's upset."

"I know how she feels."

"Ruz, she's worried you aren't telling her something. I tried to explain to her that it was the photos but she knows there is something else, she knows Simon said something. You didn't tell her?"

"How could I? How could I look at my wife, the mother of my kids and tell her what a Paedophile said about my daughter. Jay, how the fuck do I tell her that?" He had taken the call outside and was way down the back of the yard. Even on the porch he knew if either Polly or Gus came down they would hear him and this was something he was determined never to let them hear one single word of this conversation.

"You know that was bluff, that was bullshit."

"Still?"

"Ruz, don't push Kim away. She needs you and I know you need her."

"Yeah sure, she needs me so much I haven't seen her since noon, she's not answering calls, I've got no fucking idea if and when she is coming home."

"She'll be home. You blew it off last night, give her a chance to do the same." Adam tilted his head back and let out a loud groan. Halstead was right but that didn't mean he didn't want her here right now.

Adam knocked on Polly's door. "Dinner is ready." And not surprisingly he got no answer so he knocked again.

Polly reefed open her door. "I heard you. I'm not hungry."

Adam threw his hands in the air; this house was so close to exploding it wasn't funny. "Don't care. Eat or don't eat it's fine by me but it's on the table and you will come downstairs and join us." He knew very well that she wouldn't eat but the only way you got out of dinner in this house was if you were sick or not home. She was neither so at the very least she had to sit at the table with everyone else. House rules were house rules and Adam wasn't breaking them just because everyone was in a bad mood.

"Is Mom home?"

"No."

"What did you do?"

"It's getting cold." Adam wanted to say something else, he wanted all this crap to stop but he just bit his tongue and headed downstairs without saying a word. Polly did join them and Angus, god love him tried his best to fill the awkward silence that surrounded the dinner table. As he expected Polly barely ate anything and that was starting to worry him as well. Both of the women in this house were running on empty. Adam asked Gus to clear the table and when Polly got up to leave Adam snapped his fingers and pointed to her chair. "Sit." He instructed her and she did sit and folded her arms across her chest and glared at her father.

Both her and Angus had learnt the hard way the one thing you did not do was ignore their father when he had something to say. It was far less painful to sit and take it than try and avoid it. They knew that they had it pretty good and that Adam was pretty laidback but when their father had an issue with your behaviour you knew about it.

"I talked to Abbey's Dad this afternoon." Suddenly Polly seemed a little more interested in what he had to say. For sure she thought she was about to get another lecture.

"And?"

"She is doing much better today. Abbey has a long road ahead of her and that includes some pretty serious therapy and counselling over the next few months but she should be home by the weekend."

"Can I see her?"

"Yes, tomorrow after school I will pick you up and take you in to see Abbey. She really wants to see you."

"Okay. Thanks." He could have sworn she was about to call him Dad, and like the first time she said Dad when she was a baby it would have been the sweetest sound. Instead he got a blank and an emotionless look. "Is that all?"

"Speaking of counselling, your Mom and I have organised some for you through school."

"Why?"

"Because it's school policy and it's not just for you, it's for all of Abbey's closet friends. You need it Pol."

"I don't." The defiant arms folded across her chest were like looking in a mirror. He did it all the time, his body language had always been a dead give away to his state of mind and when he folded his arms across his chest during a fight with Kim he could tell he was just pushing closer to the edge.

"You do Pol. We all do at some point in our lives."

"Do you have counselling?" She barked at him and Adam did his best not to bite back. He recalled the time he was sent to counselling when he shot someone for the first time just after he was pulled from the Academy and he was just as adamant as Polly that he didn't need it. At time it seemed like a bit of wank but over the years he'd learnt that it wasn't a bad thing and helped him more often than not to keep his head on straight.

"All the time. We have it at least four times a year, more often if the cases are really tough."

She appeared surprised by his answer and slightly sceptical. Surely he was just telling her this to convince her that she needed it too. "I've never heard about that."

"No because it's a private matter, there was never any need to tell you. Often your Mom has no idea what I talk about and vice versa, and we don't want to know what goes on in your sessions either. What you talk about is up to you. You can tell them how shit I am for all I care but it's not a choice Polly." Unimpressed was definitely the first words that sprung to mind when Polly eventually looked at him. "If you don't want to use the school appointed counsellor then we will find one for you outside of school. We could make you an appointment with our counsellor but I am sure that would feel weird for you so it's better if you had an independent counsellor, but it is happening. Like it or not."

"What if I don't talk?"

"Then you will waste five hours of you life because you have five sessions to get through. That's up to you."

"Then why waste your money?"

"It's not wasting our money, it's making sure we are doing everything we possibly can to help you through this. Polly this isn't about making things hard for you." Adam had no idea if it was making one scrap of difference because Polly's expression did not change. "I will be seeing my counsellor next week."

"Why?"

"Because of this case, because this is the hardest case I have ever had to deal with. Ever."

"Why? Because it's Abbey?"

"No, because of you Polly." He didn't know if she saw the tears in his eyes or heard the wobble in his voice, part of him hoped she did. "Because it involves you."

Kim was probably going to be pissed at him for talking to Polly about it without her but since she had chosen to disappear for the night he decided that he needed to be the parent and the sooner Polly knew about it the better. He'd deal with Kim later, if and when she came home. They would also deal the with photo issue together, so if Polly was going to get pissed off with him again it may as well be about something that wasn't quite such an emotional minefield.

"One more thing. I know you hate me right now, I don't really know why but I'll deal with it but Polly I love you so much."

"I know."

"When you are ready to talk to me I will be waiting, okay?"

"Okay." She pushed back her chair. "Can I go now?"

"Sure." He waved his hand. Leaning back in his seat he blew out a long slow breath and folded his hands behind his head and closed his eyes. He was surprised when he felt Gus's arms around his neck.

"I love you Dad."

Adam choked back a lump in his throat and he reached his arm up and ruffled his hair. "Love you too Buddy."

"Polly does too."

"Ahhhh Gus, sometimes I wonder."

He didn't need Gus to be worrying about all this as well. "She does Dad."

"I know bud, I know she does."

Adam leant forward and turned off the TV when he heard the key in the lock. He dropped the remote back on the table and stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. "Are you okay?" Kim jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Yes."

"Good." He stepped around her and headed upstairs to bed.

Before heading into their room Kim checked on the kids who were both asleep. "Adam." Kim crawled over the bed and was kneeling beside him. "Adam." She repeated and he rolled over slowly.

"I just wanted to know that you were okay?"

"I know, and I am."

"Good." Sitting up slightly he grabbed Kim by the back of the neck, kissed her quickly, told her he loved her and flopped back down on the bed. When Kim finally climbed into bed her only relief was that Adam instantly rolled over, curled his body around hers and draped one arm over her.

Tonight, while Adam was pressed into the back of her she still felt like they were a million miles away from each other.